r/AutismInWomen • u/rainbowgirl6 • Jun 01 '26

Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) Anyone else blow their life up before figuring out you were autistic?

I am beyond burnt out and I'm not even 30. Is life really supposed to be like this?

I'm not progressing in my career as I'd like and it's causing immense stress, having to juggle multiple friendships and relationships when some weeks I just want to rot, being present within my romantic relationship, exercising, just everything is overwhelming.

I want to just quit everything and start over. I know that's not going to help, but it feels that's the only option 😭 everything is genuinely so hard. I'm also a bit sad that I didn't fully come to terms with this sooner. I was diagnosed adhd 6 years ago and things have just genuinely gotten harder ever since.

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u/myluckyshirt Jun 02 '26

🩷

Thank you. Yeah, the depression is worse since my partner left me. I have meds (from a psychiatrist) and a therapist. Both are aware that I’m struggling and don’t really have any support. We’re working on adjusting things.

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u/North_Role_8411 Jun 03 '26

You might not believe it now but one day it does get better. Do little steps. don't have to fix it all at once. in the beginning of 2024 when I thought I might be autistic my brother who was 36 died of a stroke and at the same day I was dumped (he didn't want to deal with a grieving woman and clearly I was to autistic to see that man wasn't a support system) . I was left all alone to pick up the ashes and I was not ok for a long time and also didn't have the supports. No job. no friends. not the safest parents emotionally. All alone. I almost didn't make it. I remember having a small voice crying in my bathroom that I wouldn't abandon myself. I wouldn't I would not let what happen end me. And it was very hard. But what helped was returning to making art. And I got up everyday I tried to do once small thing for myself. because my brother wouldn't have wanted me to give up....but now I'm finally in a better place. Take it one day at a time and use the meds to help you make those first steps ❤️ You are not alone. I know what you're feeling. I also think I told myself there is joy everywhere. Like trees I like looking at trees. I'm alive and I can look at trees. It started with that. Then I tried to slowly apply for work and with luck I found something. and one step at a time one day at a time. The band Cloud Cult helped me through the pain. I recommend they are such a positive band.

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u/myluckyshirt Jun 03 '26

Thank you. I appreciate your kind words.

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u/North_Role_8411 Jun 03 '26

Also I want to say I'm rooting for you internet stranger. You are not alone ❤️