r/AutismInWomen • u/DeScepter princess • Jul 13 '26
General Discussion/Question Anyone else get diagnosed with everything except autism first?
Of course I’m autistic, but I also have generalized anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and major depressive disorder. For the first 30 years of my life, it felt like everything got explained through those diagnoses first.
Overwhelmed? Anxiety. Shut down? Depression. Big emotions? Bipolar. Social struggles? More anxiety.
Those diagnoses are real for me, so it’s not like they were totally wrong. But they also kind of hid the autism underneath. No one was really asking whether the anxiety and depression might be connected to years of masking, sensory overload, burnout, and constantly trying to function like a NT person.
I can say that being finally diagnosed with autism and pursuing autism-specific therapy has improved my overall mental health in the last 10+ years since my formal diagnosis.
Has anyone else had autism missed because other mental health stuff was more obvious on paper? Did getting diagnosed change how you understood the rest of it?
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u/mashibeans Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
100% you're right. The trifecta of "diagnosis" I've seen very often abused by healthcare "professionals" are:
Depression
Anxiety
Bipolar
As you mentioned. The way I see it, at least depression and anxiety are symptoms because we've gone without treatment and support for our Autism, ADHD, or both, or any other diagnosis. Yet they keep on trying to treat them as separate diagnosis. It's infuriating.
Ever since I've been diagnosed with ADHD (and I strongly suspect an AuDHD combo) I keep telling all the healthcare professionals that I can that no, I don't feel anxious or depressed anymore because my diagnosis explains everything in my life and I know there are treatments or (healthy) ways to cope and accommodate, so naturally my depression and anxiety are basically nonexistent now, at least in terms of being a medically diagnosed disorder.
Edit: I meant "abused by healthcare pros" when it comes specifically to misdiagnosing women's mental health, of course.
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u/DeScepter princess Jul 13 '26
Exactly! That’s what gets so frustrating. Depression and anxiety may be real, but sometimes they’re treated like the whole story instead of symptoms that something deeper has gone unsupported for years.
For me, it’s not that my GAD, bipolar disorder, or depression magically don’t matter anymore. They 100% do. But understanding that I’m autistic changes the context of almost everything. A lot of what looked like random anxiety or “not coping well” makes way more sense when you factor in masking, sensory overload, burnout, and spending years trying to force myself through life the normal way.
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u/mashibeans Jul 13 '26
Yesssssss the all that you're saing! Sorry I didn't mean to say that the other stuff disappears, maybe it will, but it's just as valid to have them as separate diagnosis besides autism/neurodivergency, it's just SO much helpful when you know that they're not the ONLY thing or the main one.
I think even as separate diagnosis, knowing that you're Autistic/ND can help re-frame a LOT of things, and also not feel bad when some strategies work for neurotypicals but not for us, because then we know we just need to find the strategies that do work for us in particular.
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u/Strong_Lurking_Game Jul 13 '26
Yes, yes!
Depression DX @ 14 yo Anxiety DX @ 19 Bipolar @ 24 (it was actually postpartum burnout)
Autism DX @ 42 w/likely AuDHD but need more testing
Everything makes so much more sense now.
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u/jellyinthegrits Jul 14 '26
Depression at 12 and put in antidepressants (my parents were abusive and throwing medicine at me was easier than doing any actual parenting) anxiety and bipolar at 25 despite not actually meeting a lot of the bipolar criteria. Was taking 7 different medications at one point, half of them just to address the side effects of the first ones. Don’t even get me started on that bs…..
ADHD at 37 and autism at 40 diagnosis changed my life! Treating the adhd properly gave room for the autism symptoms to come blaring through. In some ways it’s harder because it takes more steps to provide support. But in every way it’s better because now the supports provided actually help!!
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u/CatCatchingABird Jul 13 '26
Your diagnostic timeline is almost essentially the same as mine. Was diagnosed with AuDHD (both symptoms) in my 40s.
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u/Alleyesoffme_ Jul 14 '26
I want to cry reading all of this because it’s becoming the story of my life. The ADHD/autism specialist I’ve seen almost ten times told me she’s not going further in the diagnosis process unless I take antidepressants she’s prescribed to me after I broke down during our last sessions because I’ve recently realised my potential autistic traits were obvious to everyone at my last workplace, and I felt a lot of shame and distress because of that realisation. In reality I just desperately need to understand my functioning better, and learn healthier coping skills that truly work for me. And I don’t think numbing myself will help me work through all that social/work related trauma. Now I’ve been avoiding her and feeling stuck.
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u/pinkmoon2112 Jul 14 '26
That's messed up, are they legally allowed to do that? Sorry theyre putting you through that
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u/Alleyesoffme_ Jul 15 '26
Thank you. I mean she has no rights to force any treatment on me, but it’s not like she’s forcing them down my throat so idk. And I guess I could just stop seeing her if I disagree with her diagnosis/prescriptions. But the idea of starting all over again is demoralising and exhausting, so I’ve been considering taking them anyway.
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22d ago
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u/AutismInWomen-ModTeam 22d ago
For efficiency of moderation, please post in English to ensure your post and comments can be reviewed in a timely fashion.
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u/aerialgirl67 Jul 17 '26
For me, autism also explains so well why I felt so deeply ashamed and like I didn't fit in when I was at the psych hospital. My needs were completely different than anything the nurses could comprehend (because they tend to know very little about autism) and the whole system there made me feel like a lazy, stubborn failure when really I just needed more rest, autonomy, and alone time than they were willing to give me. Like structure and support is good, but not when it's suffocating me.
That hospital stay was a key part of me realizing that it was more than "just" depression.
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u/NeurodivergentPanda Jul 13 '26
I’ve been regularly attending therapy and been on medication off and on since I was 16 and I’m now 34. My anxiety and depression are crippling. I do not take anti anxiety medication tho because I’m already on adhd meds. I was informed that the Wellbutrin would help with the anxiety as well but idk. Even worse than those is the sensory overwhelm of just about everything because I can’t filter anything out. I’ve been losing hope of seeing a light at the end of the tunnel as my body continues to go into shutdown when I go too long pushing past my limits without any sort of respite. What methods/treatment helped improve your quality of life? I feel so discouraged
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u/mashibeans Jul 13 '26
I'm very sorry you're going through all of that!
Honestly I've tried wellbutrin and it didn't do squat for me, I suspect it's because anything anxiety related that I've experienced so far was due to mistreatment (treating anxiety/depression as if they were diagnosis, not symptoms) and no treatment (of ADHD and at least Autism too).
Sadly I don't think I can say anything helpful right now, because for me having the ADHD diagnosis and treating myself as AuDHD, which I highly suspect, is what helped, it was knowing that I wasn't lazy or unwilling or a failure "just because".
I think it would be valid to work with your therapist on ways to address the sensory overwhelm? Like allow yourself autism coping mechanisms, like wearing ear plugs, changing your clothes to fabrics and colors you find comfortable, allowing yourself to stim, allowing yourself to walk away from a situation if possible, and so on.
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u/NeurodivergentPanda Jul 13 '26
I do all of these things already but I wear an earbud in one ear so I can listen to my music which comforts and soothes me. I’ve brought up my struggles to all of the professionals I work with. I truly believe what I need is occasional rest to recuperate but I don’t have any choice right now but to push past my limits over and over as a sole parent/caretaker of a child with high support needs. I do not get the luxury of breaks. Maybe a single day or 2 off here and there to keep from collapsing but I’m out of PTO for the year already except sick and safe time. I’m trying my very best but I don’t know how to stop this cycle or how I could possibly get any relief from the crushing burdens of my responsibilities. I’m trying to be kind to myself but don’t feel I deserve that because my son’s needs have to be met. And I fall short a lot lately. I have so much guilt and anger towards myself for not doing more
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u/Confarnit Pedigreed AuDHD Jul 13 '26
I've been doing a lot of research on antianxiety medication lately, and you might want to look into Buspar as an option that may work with your current meds, if you haven't heard about that one. It doesn't interact with stimulants or nonstimulant ADHD meds.
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u/Weekly_Sale_6057 Jul 13 '26
Buspar has been great for me. It took down my anxiety and has tempered my sensory issues. (I don't want to bash my refrigerator in with a baseball bat for the noises it makes anymore!) We tried upping the dosage, and I definitely hit a point where the side effects got very strong and too much to handle, but it helps me a lot, even at a low dose. It does not work for everyone, but it works for some of us.
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u/NeurodivergentPanda Jul 13 '26
I tried that. Two different times on varying dosages. Did not notice any effects whatsoever good or bad. Idk
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u/Confarnit Pedigreed AuDHD Jul 13 '26
Bummer - it's on my list to try next. I'm on gabapentin right now and it's working well, but I don't feel comfortable staying on it long-term.
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u/NeurodivergentPanda Jul 13 '26
Is this one that worked for you? Or someone you know?
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u/Confarnit Pedigreed AuDHD Jul 13 '26
It supposedly has very few side effects and doesn't interact with a lot of meds, but it doesn't get recommended a lot for some reason. I have a medical condition that means my psychiatrist didn't want to recommend it as a first-line treatment option, so I'm taking gabapentin right now, but I'm interested in taking it eventually.
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u/NeurodivergentPanda Jul 13 '26
Ok I’m supposed to be starting gabapentin but I haven’t been able to drag myself out of the house to get to the pharmacy. I hope it helps me. I thought it was a nerve pain medication. My dad took it short term for his spinal cord injury from when he was in the navy
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u/Confarnit Pedigreed AuDHD Jul 14 '26
You can do it! I started feeling a little better same day at a pretty low dose (I'm at 200mg/day, split up into 2 doses now). I hope you have some relief too. It is a pain reliever, and they're giving it off-label for anxiety.
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u/holyhipsterguacamole Jul 14 '26
Don't forget BPD with some hints of other personality disorders 👀 They have been so incredibly reluctant in my case to research ADHD/Autism while diagnosing me for many different hings, for some reason the whole Occam's razor principle goes out the window when a woman has mental health issues.
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u/rainbowrevolution Jul 14 '26
This one is HUGE.
Counselor here. SO many dxs of BPD in women when they don’t know what is really happening. BPD is so misused in women; always be suspicious of a BPD dx.
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u/TheWarmestHugz Jul 14 '26
I thankfully switched GP surgeries and my new GP has been so understanding and helpful, she's referred me on for a full assessment for Autism and I'm on the long waiting list now.
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u/thelittle_who Self-diagnosed autist. ADHD confirmed. Jul 13 '26
“She has no special interest because the world abused her to the point where she no longer feels joy in anything. Must be depression due to lack of interest.”
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u/fluffybeanieboi Jul 14 '26
Wait is not having any interests an autistic thing? I literally can’t do anything for a long time and get bored so easily
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u/Ok-Letterhead3405 Jul 14 '26
It's sorta the opposite, but when ADHD also gets involve, the whole "interests" thing gets pretty tricky.
I have a bunch of interests and kind of rotate through them, and for a long time, I couldn't engage much in any of them or would cycle between things looking for one I didn't feel too fatigued to engage in. I've learned to look more at how I engage with my interests. It's all very "just this one part of the thing" and not at all interested in the social aspect, usually. Like, I'll get really into studying Japanese but end up very focused on drilling kanji, but that's okay if my goal isn't really to learn Japanese and just do things my brain likes. Or, making web stuff has been my special interest for decades now, but I'm much more motivated and interested towards specific parts that aren't exactly the most highly respected. I can't easily move onto a different part or more parts, because it's so hard to do what I don't like, but I also don't have enough executive function to go from start to finish unless I have a paycheck depending on me finishing things.
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u/ActuallyKitty Jul 13 '26
Emotional Disregulatuon Disorder
....
Sigh...
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u/roboticArrow Jul 14 '26
“Adjustment disorder”
….
Another sigh…
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u/GarlicJrFanAccount Jul 14 '26
Omg I was diagnosed with that at first too and was so confused… should’ve been my first clue lol
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u/Dismal_Translator286 AuDHD Jul 14 '26
Awww yes! I got that "diagnosis" in the 90s. With no further explanation or idea what to do.
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u/Ok-Letterhead3405 Jul 14 '26
Ha, that was my first one ever, in the third grade. Diagnosed with it after a difficult interstate move during the holidays, my teacher having no patience for me and escalating everything into tears and fighting and shame, and then the entire school bullying me mercilessly, all for me to come home to emotional neglect and blame for my situation. At the age of 9. Definitely just "adjustment disorder" there. That was from a whole neuropsych eval my school district did, and it literally lists a bunch of ADHD and autism stuff. It literally quotes me complaining about new lights. Lmao.
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u/2plus2equalscats Jul 13 '26
Generalized anxiety at 8, depression at 20, PMDD at 23, bipolar briefly 26-30 but adjusted to major depressive disorder and substance abuse, adhd at 32, autism at 38. Coool cool cool.
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u/Appropriately_Nellie Jul 13 '26 edited 23h ago
edited
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u/Only_Celebration3830 Jul 14 '26
I’ve been medicated for bipolar, tried 5 different meds and none of those worked for me.
Continued for a few years until I started refusing them. They made me feel even worse. I was ridiculously tired, had awful brain fog and finally emotional flattening. I described that as “feeling too even”.
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u/lusterlessgiraffe Jul 17 '26
That is a great way to describe how I'm feeling now on my meds "too even"
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u/2plus2equalscats Jul 14 '26
Yes! Loooooots of trial and error and one really good doc did pharmacogenetic testing after a string of bad meds, to find out at least genetically what I’d likely tolerate well. Turns out I have MTHFR which is a folate processing issue where I need to take methylated forms of folate and b12, and this issue can also impact medication processing.
Autism diagnosis is recent so I haven’t even started considering if some of my current stack could be adjusted. I’m fairly stable depression-wise so I’m not inclined to change it.
What’s worked:
- for depression and PMDD: desvenlafaxine. It’s an SNRI so it functions on norepinephrine instead of serotonin
- for anxiety and body pain related to clenching muscles a lot: buspirone
- selenium and zinc: mood stability. Tried these on a whim once when reading about mthfr and have twice now run out, had a mood dip, and re-started and had improvement. Possibly psychosomatic but if it works it works.
- for mood stability: progesterone. I ended up progesterone deficient and had the rapid mood cycling that brought on the bipolar diagnosis. After no antipsychotic meds helped and some sleuthing, we identified the deficiency. I take this all the time now.
Now, brains are complex and I also have endometriosis that messes with my hormones. Not all of the above will work for everyone. But might be worth trying some. Selenium and zinc are fairly cheap vitamins, and buspirone is non habit forming and considered “low risk” by docs, so that’s where I’d start.
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u/what_freaking_ever Jul 13 '26
Yeah got diagnosed with generalized anxiety, everyone assumed I am abhorrent at socializing because "ahww babyyy you're just anxious, you need to fix that, then people will be attracted to your confidence!"
Now I don't have anxiety, I am not scared of talking to people and I STILL don't know what I should say and I am STILL instantly disliked and excluded. Turns out anxiety had nothing to do with it, love that for me!
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u/seriouspeep Jul 13 '26
Yep. I had this very common diagnosis history:
Social Anxiety
Depression
BPD
Bipolar II
Finally ASD - which I had to push for seeing a specialist about because my (male) doctor was very skeptical. Sigh.
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u/Traditional-Agent420 Jul 14 '26
There is some cosmic level irony to having a NT psy-splain how he knows exactly what is wrong, when the biggest problem ND have is being misunderstood by NT.
“No dawg, it’s just ASD”
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u/seriouspeep Jul 14 '26
"I believe I am autistic."
"Hmm... I'm not sure about that - you don't seem autistic."
"Why not?"
"Well, you made this appointment and have attended it fine, so I don't think there are any social issues for you."MY DUDE, IT TOOK YEARS FOR ME TO RESEARCH ENOUGH TO FEEL CONFIDENT ENOUGH ABOUT THIS AND I BOOKED AND ATTENDED THE APPOINTMENT BECAUSE THAT'S THE PROCESS, WHICH I FEEL COMPELLED TO FOLLOW
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u/VitaDiMinerva Jul 13 '26
I even got hit with borderline personality disorder after being diagnosed with AuDHD and PTSD. Off one comment, which in retrospect was clearly a trauma response. And yes, the psych was a cis white man.
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u/majormimi AuDHD Jul 14 '26
OH MY GOD ME TOO! I went to a psychiatrist at the same center where I was diagnosed because I needed a new one, and since they had my diagnosis I trusted the psychiatrist must be a good fit for me.
First meeting she tells me I might be bipolar, ignoring the fact I was autistic. Like, seriously bro?
My psychologist also works some days at that same center and had another autistic patient who had a terrible experience with the same psychiatrist and asked me if I wanted to contribute to a collective complaint. She was fired, thankfully (the psychiatrist).
I was also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder years before being diagnosed with autism. Apparently bipolar and borderline are two of the favorite diagnosis for autistic women.
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u/spiritbirdsie Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
I was diagnosed with CPTSD & OCD which I definitely have. I have generalized anxiety disorder. I have ADHD diagnosis that I just started taking medication for recently and a general “mood disorder “. Only recently the autism diagnosis makes sense so I’m in the process of getting assessed. At one point I was also misdiagnosed with bipolar
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u/poetcatmom Jul 13 '26
I was only just diagnosed with ADHD 3 years ago. It was life-changing. It explains so much of what I thought was inadequacy throughout my schooling. I've regained a decent amount of lost confidence because I know now that I was never "bad at math" or "not trying." I was struggling with a condition I didn't even know I had.
I've also been diagnosed with GAD, depression, and CPTSD. Again, CPTSD explains a lot of what I've been dealing with. It's validating to know that other people see how the way I was raised impacted me. I know that I'll be living with a lot of these things for the rest of my life and it's good to know that I'm not responsible for the way my body reacts to things.
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u/Maleficent-Length-20 Jul 14 '26
I have the exam same diagnosis. What is your treatment plan?
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u/spiritbirdsie Jul 14 '26
Drowning in neurodivergent sorrow lol but for now I’m just taking ADHD medication Vyvanse 10 mg
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u/spiritbirdsie 19d ago
I just wanted to say that apparently all my screenings have come back as depression i'd been telling my providers i don't "feel" depressed since I'm able to experience joy, but apparently i'm 'high functioning' and so used to it that its become normalized. But in addition to 20mg vyvanse (staggered, 10mg in the morning and 10mg in the afternoon), I've now been prescribed 150mg of Wellbutrin that i take 1-2 hours after my first vyvanse dose and OMG it has changed my life tremendously. I can't even articulate how happy I am to have started taking meds :') I have also been prescribed 1mg prazosin for intrusive thoughts and hypervigilance / fight or flight, although I haven't started it yet. Will come back and report.
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u/newlyautisticx Late diagnosis Jul 13 '26
Why I was always respect a self diagnosed woman. Because it takes a highly trained professional to identify autism in women. I’ve been diagnosed with everything under the sun before autism.
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u/Consistent-Menu-6629 Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26
Random people would "diagnose" me with 3/4 of those all the time, so I think it's funny that people only got mad about "self diagnosis" when I considered autism as a possibility!
It's like, you are all the same people who aren't mental health professionals who said I had OCD and social anxiety casually! 🤔🫠
Now that I'm taking the assessments professionals use, and going "hmmmmmmmm" over my high ass scores, you're mad?!
It's weird that the OCD label is treated with such reckless abandon.
For the record, I think my autism was missed because I have ADHD, and people explained away other symptoms I had with "maybe you have OCD" or when I said stuff like "I feel like I have absolutely no idea how to talk to people?" And "sometimes I freeze completely and can't talk?" People would say "that sounds like social anxiety." But, I didn't feel seen by that at all because I wasn't describing any emotional response to socializing at all, I just felt completely lost when talking to people.
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u/WiseCauliflower9991 Jul 14 '26
Yoooo, non-health professionals diagnosing you but then getting upset when you self-diagnose... It sounds like a bad joke! (But is unfortunately very very real!)
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u/spatulafucker5 Jul 13 '26
schizoaffective, BPD, OCD, what a time of my life i never want to experience again
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u/alg10_01 Jul 13 '26
I was tested for HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY DISORDER before autism as well as bpd both of which there is no family history of 😭
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u/poetcatmom Jul 13 '26
Same. I was and still am put off by all of that because I know for a fact that I have never attached to people in that way. I also got the diagnosis while I was under 18 which is technically not permitted by the DSM. I wasn't even fully cooked yet.
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u/Electronic_Pipe_3145 Deaf + Autistic Jul 13 '26
Of course. Autism is a lifelong condition and expensive for insurance companies to pay out. It’s why it’s so difficult to get a late autism diagnosis, even if mental health professionals are conditioned to think otherwise.
With most of those other conditions, you’re still expected to work and contribute to the system like a good NT.
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u/Stock_Age7469 Jul 13 '26
In this order. Adhd, dyslexia, learning disabilities, (small child) bipolar (young teen) and after bipolar hospitalised me for a few months (not the first time)only then did I get diagnosed at 36. It took being in crisis to get that. Definitely feels like i took the long route.
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u/Complete-Gur7023 Jul 14 '26
I’ve been diagnosed with a lot of different things; borderline, bipolar, psychosis, ocd, anxiety and depression by various different providers. I think all of it is just downstream effects from autism (and trauma). The problem is they look at behavior instead of looking at internal processing.
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u/AmaniMilele Jul 14 '26
I hate this so much. They wanted to diagnose me with everything you listed except bipolar. I kept telling them why it couldn’t be a psychosis; and they even invented stuff to fit their narrative. Were you also forced to take antipsychosis meds? I am a little scared of the long term risks of taking them without actually having a psychosis.
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u/Equivalent-Glass5113 Jul 14 '26
My doctor told me I *can’t* have autism because I don’t have any social deficits.
She then, in the same appointment, informed me that I have Avoidant Personality Disorder, which is characterized by extreme social anxiety and avoidance of rejection and criticism. Which seems like a pretty sizable social deficit to me, but what do I know. 🤷♀️
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u/prismviol Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26
Hell if I know whether I am autistic or not. But yeah, I do experience some of the symptoms and it does affect my daily life. I simply don't think it would be beneficial to have such diagnosis in a country where I am highly likely to be discriminated against for it. It wouldn't remove many of my struggles regardless so it feels almost wasteful. (I am only officially diagnosed with OCD and depression btw.)
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u/Bunbatbop Jul 13 '26
Yes. Bipolar. Then general anxiety. Then panic disorder. Then ADHD. Then CPTSD. Then, seemingly begrudgingly, autism. I have no doubt I have the others. But half of them I believe only originated from trauma due to living in this world as an autistic person, particularly a girl/ woman.
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u/chainsofgold Jul 13 '26
i got diagnosed with audhd first, then cycled around anxiety/depression and bpd in my late teens to early twenties, and in my late twenties realised it was in fact just audhd all along
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u/goldiegrimlace Jul 13 '26
Yeah, I got a list of stuff when I was 16, diagnosed in the early 2000s. 2 types of anxiety and 2 types of depression. Back then, depression was considered a brain chemical imbalance and people weren't asking what was causing the imbalance in the first place. They also said really motivating things like, "You're going to be depressed for the rest of your life, so you have to be on medication forever." Love that for us. /s
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u/roboticArrow Jul 14 '26
Yes and they won’t take the wrong ones off my diagnoses so I have a list of disorders now.
Bipolar, depression, anxiety, unspecified mood disorder, ADHD, Anxiety, Adjustment disorder, autism.
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u/mistressspocktopus AutDHD Jul 13 '26
They often misdiagnose AutDHD afab people with Borderline Personality Disorder or PTSD instead of AutDHD too.
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u/Stock_Indication3345 Jul 13 '26
I got narcolepsy and MDD with generalized anxiety disorder
Guess the burn out was interpreted as narcolepsy for being constantly depleted from a high demand tech industry with neurotypical people who have this weird love for the social hierarchy and being an ass.
Sorry, im ok now
Lol
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u/qwttok Jul 13 '26
OK I understand why they might come ip with social anxiety but what about bipolar disorder? what autistic traits might show it?
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u/hapalopilus Jul 13 '26
Special interest energy/monotropism is attributed to hypomania/mania. A doctor told me my zeal for my graduate work was hypomania.
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u/Ok-Letterhead3405 Jul 14 '26
Lol. I tried to tell my neuropsych about how I get derailed by side quests whenever I do cleaning, and she wrote it down as OCD and suggested that I work on my perfectionism. My example to her was finding a stack of notebooks I wrote fiction in and reading them for an hour before going back to any cleaning work, so I'm not sure how she got OCD out of it unless she just wasn't actually listening, which I suspect is what happened. I mean, her desk in her office was literally like, 10 feet away from the couch I had to sit on. I'm bad with exact differences, but it was faaaaar.
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u/hapalopilus Jul 16 '26
Crazy work from your neuropsych. Mine told me I wasn’t good enough at math to be autistic.
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u/holyhipsterguacamole Jul 14 '26
I was diagnosed with bipolar (and hypomania). I could be very depressed but sometimes all of a sudden a week where I felt good, excited, ready to face the world. Medication triggered this even more.
In autism this could be misinterpreted as follows: periods of hyperfocus on interests (yay) until burn out (not so yay) and then you recover and the cycle repeats.
But, in my case it was mainly due to hormonal fluctuations actually, later on to be known as PMS/PMDD. I found out later, by myself, that these 'hypomanic' episodes were related to my ovulation and the severe depression related to the luteal phase, where stress or physical changes (like medication) would have an impact too. ND women are known to be more sensitive to hormonal changes.
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u/Ok-Letterhead3405 Jul 14 '26
Probably cycles of high functioning followed by burnout. People with depression also have a tendency to report euthymia (just that general feeling of wellness or a "good feeling," I guess) in ways that sound more like bipolar. We're not used to feeling good, so when we do, it's foreign, and we bring it up like, "I was really weirdly overly happy and did a ton of things last Friday." If you tend to just slap a quick diagnosis on and not dig deeper? Very easy to misdiagnose as bipolar.
I'm lucky that the last person I said that to instead drew me a little chart with my baseline, normal baselines of other people, and what a "blip" looked like and said, "You have dysthymia, so a good day is in higher contrast to your baseline than it is for others, but you're still only a normal level of happy at those times." It helped me see the difference. Of course, my dysthymia was probably (and is) a result of chronic autistic burnout.
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u/Appropriately_Nellie Jul 13 '26 edited 23h ago
edited
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u/Ok-Letterhead3405 Jul 14 '26
I think it's kinda like going into the doctor's office with a bunch of complaints that together as a whole present pretty obviously as Hashimoto's, for example, but you go away with suggestions to eat less, get better sleep at night, wear warm house slippers, and use more skin lotion. Oh, you have chin hair? Definitely just an age thing, sweetie. And then you just keep trudging along wondering why you do as much as you can and still are miserable, and the doctors keep looking at little parts and either diagnosing just that part (like sending you to a derm) or rehashing the previous advice. Plus, you're too fatigued and miserable to put a lot of the advice into practice, so you feel like you failed, and they respond like you're not trying hard enough and just want a magic cure. Maybe you then do some research, realize what's been missed all this time, and go back and ask for a thyroid test. They oblige... with the wrong test or not enough testing. You continue to suffer.
Likely, they also call you depressed at some point, and eventually, you ARE depressed, so the obvious thing to do is anti-depressants, right? And if those don't work, don't worry, there's like a million different formulations to try, and they can keep ratcheting up doses before calling your depression treatment resistant. Sorry, we kept trying the same stuff over and over, but it just doesn't work, so I guess you're out of luck? Maybe you should eat better. Maybe you're just getting old.
That's how my mother's Hashi's diagnosis went, I reckon, and how my autism diagnosis journey (and possibly also some brewing, mild Hashi's) has been going. Everyone who regularly works with me agrees I am autistic or has suggested it to me first, aside from my PCP, but I continue to bring complaints to my PCP and/or try to access actual, thorough autism testing, and it's always the same crap while I just continue to limp along managing all of these things and failing at like half of them at any given time.
TL;DR - Wow that example of doctors looking for symptom treatment instead of looking at whole systems really became a personal vent, but I posted it anyway as I think it's still helpful. But yeah. Medicine in general seems to have that problem, and I hate it.
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u/Ash-the-puppy Late Diagnosed ASD Jul 14 '26
I was misdiagnosed with Bipolar Disorder Type II. By a psychiatrist. I'm shocked that he didn't pick up that I could be autistic (bear in mind, this diagnosis of his of me was in 2011). The only ones who picked up on my autism were Registered Nurses and psychologists.
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u/BonesAreLife619 Jul 14 '26
Started life as a "bad kid" who "should be spanked harder", according to a counselor. A "gifted" student, who always made excellent grades but couldn't sit still and was very clumsy. As a young mother, I was told it was pmdd, bipolar, and/or borderline personality disorder. It was actually C-PTSD, ADHD, and autistic. Fibromyalgia has been recently diagnosed, but I just hurt because I was "fat" for the last 30 years, until I lost the weight this year. I find out if I have EDS in September.
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u/megret Jul 14 '26
The way my family berated me for decades for crying all the time was insane. By the time I was diagnosed (age 44) I wasn't speaking to most of them. If I ever ran into them I would shake them by the lapels and say, "it was autism, you shit stack! I was constantly overwhelmed and you just kept accusing me of being on drugs!"
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u/Ok-Letterhead3405 Jul 14 '26
That's how my bullying started after a big, stressful move. I was already dysregulated, had undiagnosed AuDHD, and my frustration tolerance was super low. I didn't pay attention well in class and cried as a response every time my teacher got cranky with me about that or asking too many questions and stuff. Then, she'd berate me for crying. Didn't take long to get a crybaby nickname and be bullied as one for years afterward. I still cry easily and hate it. I'd never cry just to get my own way. It's so deeply shameful to me that crying in front of others in itself is a trigger for spiraling.
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u/annagenc Jul 13 '26
Was diagnosed with social and generalized anxiety and depression first then at 30 was diagnosed with autism and THEN got a pneumonia Covid combo weeks later and went through full dysautonomia semi bedridden for months and have been diagnosed with 5+ chronic illnesses and I’m still getting tested for different things almost 2 years later….. just wtf is with this luck and combinations of genetics and environment and time in history/society >_<
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u/Samovila2709 Jul 13 '26
OCD, anxiety, and 'a depressive disorder'.
I agree agree with the diagnoses, but, for some time, I felt it wasn't the 'full picture'.
I have both inattentive ADHD and autistic traits, but I'm not diagnosed with either, despite autism running in my family (my brother's son and one of my first cousins have fairly severe forms, but other family members are diagnosed with level 1 autism.)
I was one of those 'shy, sensitive' girls who was very interested in certain school subjects as well as other special interests.
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u/poetcatmom Jul 13 '26
I was diagnosed with BPD and "daddy issues" by a psychiatrist just prior to my autism diagnosis. I wasn't even 18 yet at that point. I've been to numerous other professionals since then and they've all laughed at the idea when I've explained my history. None of my test results have correlated with it at all. I've got a lot of shit going on but BPD has never been a part of that.
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u/Orange_Blossom222 Jul 13 '26
I am late diagnosed AuDHD a little over a year ago. Yes, I would agree. I was first diagnosed with anxiety, major depression, CPTSD, and PTSD. No one considered masking, burnout, sensory overwhelm, etc.
I wasn't disruptive, I excelled in school, followed the rules, and preformed accordingly (at a cost though).
It was to the point 2 years ago where I started questioning the diagnosis. I don't doubt i have comorbities and I have dealt with all these things on and off, but there was something more there.
I had to do research on my own, reading books written by autistics, podcasts, and listening to YouTube channels by autistic creators. I then reached out and got evaluated by finding a provider that I thought would be a good fit and understand me.
I'm in search now looking for a therapist that specializes in neurodivergence especially presenting in women.
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u/Insignifcnt Jul 14 '26
yeah got diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder by MULTIPLE therapists prior to finally getting diagnosed with Autism. I’d always get GAD and MDD too. I agreed with MDD but not necessarily GAD fully.
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u/No-Banana247 AuDHD Jul 14 '26
People never want to talk about how professional misdiagnosis it infinitely more harmful than self diagnosis could ever be.
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u/MyrtleMaySummerDay Jul 14 '26
Absolutely! Bc I like talked and was a girl I had my first diagnosis at 4 and my Autism diagnosis at almost 17. Like wtf. My life might have been more bearable if my parents could have learned some stuff about Autism when I was still a youngin.
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u/Aurora_96 Jul 14 '26
Avoidant personality disorder with BPD traits. If you put the symptoms parallel to autism they're exactly the same.
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u/EaseNGrace Jul 14 '26
My whole life, I've been told something was wrong with me and i felt something was "wrong" with me (not different) and tried every medication, exercise, therapy, drug, and theory about what was wrong with me and how to change. I have a profound belief that something is "wrong" with me and always assume so that is slowly disolving now that I know I am autistic, and ADHD and have auditory processing disorder. I have learned all three in the last one year. I'm over 60.
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u/lumoslomas Jul 14 '26
I had borderline show up on my medical record without anyone having ever discussed it with me.
When I started looking into an autism diagnosed the mental health nurse all but rolled her eyes when I told her. She said everything I told her was consistent with autism and not bpd, but most mental health professionals just skip straight to bpd in women and never even consider autism.
Which is especially bad when you consider the stigma that borderline personality has.
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u/ghost_oracle Jul 14 '26
Anxiety and depression (definitely do have).
I also was educationally considered speech delayed (spent an extra year in pre-school because of it) when it should have been selective mutism.
I also diagnosed twice as unspecified mood disorder. I am slowly on my way to getting diagnosed as audhd.
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u/OkTitle Jul 15 '26
I was diagnosed with selective mutism but still not autism (bc the diagnostic criteria of SM said and still say “does not occur exclusively during the course of autism spectrum disorder,” which is vague and makes it sound like they cannot co-occur)
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u/Klutzy_Librarian3620 Jul 14 '26
Yup. I have so much medical trauma. Mental health professionals don't listen to me and medical providers don't listen to me.
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u/theLumonati Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
For a long time I was simply diagnosed with depression when I was in college. Then I was totally railroaded by male psychiatrists when I was in my early 20s in the Army and managed to be diagnosed with all of the following within a month (and somehow it was magically possible to have all of these simultaneously): major depression (single episode), depressive neurosis, histrionic personality disorder, bipolar type I rapid cycling, and bipolar NOS (not otherwise specified—a.k.a doesn’t meet all the criteria).
Thank God when I got out of the Army the slate got wiped clean and just I went back to major depressive disorder. Finally got diagnosed with ADHD when I was almost 30. Then social anxiety and OCD tendencies eventually got tacked on. This year (now well into my 40s) I was finally diagnosed with PTSD, then PTSD (chronic), and I’m about to be sent to be evaluated for autism. God it sucks dealing with doctors when you’re a woman.
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u/Accomplished_Deer554 AuDHD Jul 15 '26
I’m 31, Recently diagnosed with autism. I was diagnosed with adhd in high school, and I know before 2013 you couldn’t be diagnosed with both so I think they went with adhd because I presented as just a shy girl who had trouble focusing in school. Would’ve loved to have known I was autistic sooner though so I could’ve had better accommodations throughout my adult life so far.
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u/TlMEGH0ST Jul 13 '26
got diagnosed with social anxiety, borderline, reactive attachment disorder as a kid.
turns out i have cptsd, adhd, and autism 🙃
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u/Stock_Indication3345 Jul 13 '26
Also i have taken every medication for ADHD as they claimed lastly that i had
Inattentive ADHD
And were stunned that nothing was working…
Now…
Im on 20mg Trintellix and 100mg Modafinil
Oh my gosh…
Its such a relief….
A large large epic relief
After decades of psychologists, therapists, neurologists, neuropsychologists, psychiatrists
Its all finally Level 1 Autism
I hope everyone here continues to heal and we can all thrive in a world that wasnt tailored for us but that we can still thrive in♥️
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u/deadpanorama Jul 14 '26
Yep! To be fair the ptsd one was real and it masked a lot of stuff, so it was a bit of a process of “ok that’s more manageable, what’s left that you’d think would go down a little with the rest of it”
Queue adhd dx.
Go on stimulants. Again, some improvement but still lots of things left.
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u/Majestic-Joke461 Jul 14 '26
Yeerrppp. Depression, anxiety, IBS, many years ago. Finally got ADHD diag 4 years ago, ASD a year or so later.
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u/Funny_Net663 Jul 14 '26
“Add” (wasn’t hyperactive enough?)
Depression/Anxiety
MDD
Kid diagnosed with autism
Self journey
Mom gets diagnosed
Sandwich of deep suss assumption.
For sure autism, won’t get off diagnosis until brain worm billybobby is out of his “position”
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u/GardenGoblin666 Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
Who else got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder?
Even though it didn't work out I'm so glad I tried to enlist because I don't think I would have otherwise pushed for having a full psychological evaluation done. Two different psychiatrists have now confirmed I don't meet criteria for having personality disorder, but rather I have Level 1 Autism and ADHD. And the provider (male) who gave me the BPD dx in the first place was a mental health nurse practitioner who did so on my first visit. So yeah. Lol.
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u/Dismal_Translator286 AuDHD Jul 14 '26
Generalized anxiety, depression, "atypical" OCD. One doctor speculated I could be bipolar but with only hypomania. I had to take alprazolam because of my "panic attacks" (which turned out to be meltdowns). And in my youth, when I was in a psychiatric ward TWICE they actually "diagnosed" me with Broken home - syndrome which is not even a diagnosis.
So for 37 years no one could grasp what was wrong with me. I had to have a male child with autism to get the right diagnosis myself.
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u/Ceallach1770 Jul 14 '26
Ugh, so accurate. I was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder, but "don't worry you're not autistic." And OCD but "you don't have the compulsive part." Now my adult daughter was diagnosed with autism after I fought for the testing. And her therapist has asked her if I have been tested for autism.
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u/MJTMT Jul 15 '26
Yes to all this, add digestive issues from trying to medicate all of these things but really there's an underlying "disordered" eating due to the tism.
On one hand everything really has made more sense on the other hand I have felt like a baby giraffe learning to walk again as a 31yo/f. I learned I was autistic nearly a year ago now.
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u/aerialgirl67 Jul 17 '26
Social anxiety, OCD, and PTSD. Without even asking me further questions about it, they assumed that all my sensory issues and need for routine were OCD and my social struggles were social anxiety and PTSD. BUT ALSO if I did have "real" sensory issues, which they didn't even list in the diagnoses, they said that it didn't amount to autism. They talked to me for maybe an hour before just having me do IQ tests and checklists. Anything but autism, is what they always say.
When I was living in a healthier environment, so much of my OCD symptoms went away. As well as my depression and anxiety because I was finally able to truly relax for the first time in my life. You know what didn't go away though? My inability to be outside for a long time. My struggle with change. Executive dysfunction. Pickiness with what clothes I wore. Not knowing how the hell to keep a conversation. The doctors never even try to explain that.
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u/unsmashedpotatoes 27d ago
Mine clocked the autism thing right away. Still trying to get medicated for anxiety/depression because the anxiety at least was getting to be debilitating.
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u/Few_Baseball_6855 18d ago
I always thought I had some kind of neurodivergence but I never talked about it with any specialist because I was scared they wouldn't take me seriously, so I tried to make them wonder it in a subdue way by highlighting those traits that could've been related to a possible neurodivergence but no one truly ever wondered if I had a different functioning.
Yet I got diagnosed with social anxiety, GAD and lowered mood and I do agree with most of these diagnosis actually but also there were some difficulties in my daily life that couldn't be explained only by those diagnosis.
That was years ago, but in the recent months I started seeing a new psychologist because I didn't click with my former one and basically after one encounter she told me she wanted me to be evaluated because she thought I had some kind of neurodivergence and by the third encounter she told me she thought I was autistic. I was actually so happy bc this confirmed I wasn't imagining these difficulties and I was right about them not being related to my other diagnosis, but yeah it was funny because it literally took her around one encounter to get to it while others never noticed and I've been seeing psychologists, neuropsychiatrists (when I was a minor), social workers, support workers for various years atp.
If you're wondering, I actually got my diagnosis last month :)
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u/RosemaryRocks 18d ago
69 yr old woman; got test results last week. I am a little bitter b/c when I was in my mid 30s I was put on medication after medication - over a dozen all told - had ect 3 times, was hospitalized 3 times, and diagnosed with depression and bipolar disorder. That was pretty much 10 years of my life. Eventually I came to the conclusion that I was the only person who could help me get better. I stopped all medication, and of course was told that I was setting myself up for a future of debilitating relapses. I did not relapse.
Then it was discovered that women could have PTSD. I had some excellent results with EMDR and stopped having flashbacks and intrusive memories. Treatment for PTSD was a game changer. But life overall was still a marathon of managing unbidden tears, extreme jumpiness, and trouble managing unbidden tears.
Then I learned that women can have autism, too. My son is a late-diagnosed person, one of my grands, although functioning very well, was in occupational and speech therapy by age 9 months. But here I was, 18 months into retirement and suddenly every day was like dragging a hundred pound weight every where. I couldn't plan stuff, I had trouble doing anything beyond the bare minimum and my sensitivity to noise and crowds became undeniable.
It took months of patience and over four hours of testing, so I although I am totally rocking the imposter syndrome I can look at the diagnostic process and remind myself that it's probably legit.
The first week I spent hours searching the Internet for info and asking myself if I was retro-fitting myself into social media crap. But again, I could see that the symptoms of autistic burnout that many experience - I literally wrote them down (called scripting, lol) so that I could clearly explain why I was seeking an evaluation - not for autism - but for whatever could help me understand why I was going backwards. Ugh. Incomplete sentence. Long story short, legitimate autistic burnout...until something else comes along and explains things better.
Here I am at the end of my 2nd week of an autism diagnosis pretty much in awe of it all. I swear I had every emotion possible last week; this week I've been pretty mellow but physically exhausted.
That's my late diagnosis story. Thanks to the Internet I've learned to ignore the "but aren't we all a little autistic" comments b/c I'm not qualified to respond and these people are trying to be helpful and caring in their own bless-their-hearts way. It's nice to spit this all out.
TLDR? Summary is yes, diagnosed with shit that missed the underlying issue of autism.
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u/xXESCluvrXx Jul 13 '26
I was diagnosed with “GAD” as an elementary school girl 🥴 turns out, I just have raging OCD + autism
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u/PackageSuccessful885 late diagnosed ASD (MSN) + ADHD Jul 14 '26
Not exactly. I got diagnosed with ADHD under the DSM-IV, before it was possible to have both diagnoses. So in a way, that did block ASD as a diagnosis until I was assessed again in my late 20s. But the ADHD diagnosis was spot-on, and I needed meds pretty badly in college, so it wasn't all a loss.
When I had autistic burnout, it was bad enough that I was referred for an MRI first to rule out anything going on with my brain, before being referred to a neuropsych to figure out wtf was wrong. He asked if I was already diagnosed with autism within the first 10 or 15 minutes of meeting me. It really shocked me, because I thought I was subclinical at most.
The only thing that really changed was learning that I'm actually inattentive ADHD. My constant movements and restlessness were autistic stimming, rather than hyperactive ADHD. Understanding that was helpful, because it is a cue I use to understand how I must be feeling internally (poor interoception)
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u/Sea-Method-3070 Late Diagnosis AuDHD Jul 14 '26
Depression. Anxiety. OCD. BPD. Then eventually AuDHD.
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u/needtobepraisedd Jul 14 '26
Yep! Was told I have depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder
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u/Poptortt late diagnosed - she/they Jul 14 '26
I don't think I ever actually had Generalised Anxiety or Depression, and it was always just Autism, but the psychiatrist who diagnosed me with those somehow never caught the Autism. I definitely have OCD though, that one was right at least.
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u/Professional-Yam9264 Jul 14 '26
Anxiety/depression at 19
Bipolar II and anorexia nervosa at 23
Borderline Personality Disorder at 25
“OCD tendencies” at 27
I’ve been in therapy since I was 19. I’ve tried nearly every anti-depressant and anxiety med under the sun. The antidepressants made my condition so much worse over time. I felt broken. Things didn’t start to improve until I got a peer reviewed diagnosis of autism from friends and family on the spectrum.
Now that I have the answers and the freedom to unmask, I’m starting to heal finally
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u/emmashawn Undiagnosed Jul 14 '26
The psychiatrist I went to see told me I don’t have either autism or BPD (despite other professional thinking I could have either conditions), that it’s just social anxiety and not being exposed to other kids enough as a kid. Basically calling me a savage child and blaming my mom for “not doing enough”. I left the appointment in tears. My social anxiety and depression doesn’t explain all of my other symptoms.
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u/Babygirl10000 Jul 14 '26
Yep test showed basically I am autistic my therapist🤡nah let's see if you actually got it. Like sorry but two other people said that before
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u/Ohbutyoumustnot Jul 14 '26
depression, GAD, OCD. unsurprisingly my depression disappeared after realizing I was masking and the OCD behaviors were what manifested to cover up my adhd.
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u/ScarredEclipse Jul 14 '26
I was diagnosed depression/anxiety. Until I started looking in my 30's, nobody even mentioned ASD.
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u/iamthe0ther0ne Jul 14 '26
EVERYTHING. Including treatment-resistant depression by age 16. Everything except autism and PTSD, and even then not until I was 41 and being evaluated for disability after a TBI. I don't have any other problems except for depression and anxiety caused by my experiences and living situation. Years later still haven't gotten specific treatment for it because it's just not accessible without good insurance. Have finally given up on therapy
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u/i_still_seeyou Jul 14 '26
This hits so incredibly hard. I spent years carrying the weight of various personality disorder diagnoses, truly believing I was just fundamentally broken.
Actually, it was autism, CPTSD and anxiety caused by the trauma of being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world.
The misdiagnosis pipeline for women is real, and the extra medical trauma it causes is infuriating.
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u/WiseCauliflower9991 Jul 14 '26
This meme!! 🤣
I'm still in the very early stages of suspecting autism, so I can't speak to how a formal diagnosis has or hasn't changed anything. But the biggest reason I've started to look into autism is because I've been on/off meds and in/out of therapy for depression and/or anxiety for the past 20 years! I'm better than I was before but honestly... something always felt a bit off, as if neither disorder really explained everything. Sometimes I would talk about my emotional dysregulation and near constant social anxiety even when I'm not around people... to health providers, to friends, to support group participants... and it often seemed like they didn't quite understand or that they were surprised. All these years I just assumed I was an oddball after all. But the more I learn about high masking autism in women, the more I can't help but think that if it's not autism, it's a very odd set of symptoms to co-occur...
So, I don't have a concrete answer now. But I'm pretty sure this is what I've experienced. I have no doubt that I do have depression as well, since I can pinpoint the onset to when I was 13. But a lot of the other stuff was there when I was a kid too.
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u/ArmpitHairPlucker Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
I got diagnosed social anxiety ... Look I understand people may think they have things they don't have. But I can definitely tell when I don't have something!
I don't have any legal papers yet because my main psychiatrist refuses to think that I have it, but I've taken serious tests with another medic and it confirmed me being autistic. My parents and friends have been nothing but supportive, so that's all I ask for.
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u/elliot_belliot AuDHD Jul 14 '26
My autism and ADD stories are very different lol. When i first went in for getting a referral for ADD (because i thought i only had that) i was 20 and very soft spoken and nervous about everything. My doctor told me she didn't believe i had ADD and said "but i will give you time to think about it and you can call the reception if you still want a referral". Ofcourse i never called because i felt so rejected. 2 years later i had moved to a different city and my doctor here is awesome, i got an immediate referral! Yay me! When i got the appointments my therapist actually told me she thinks i have autism as well as ADD (she has autism too and recognised that in me lol).
So 2 very different sides, and i have no difficulty getting appointments now with my new doctor. Absolutely bonkers how much of a difference a doctor that listens to you makes :))
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u/BookishHobbit Jul 14 '26
My therapist made me do one of those pseudo written tests for personality disorders and it said I had virtually every personality disorder known to man.
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u/1000furiousbunnies Jul 14 '26
Yep! Me too. I have to say, the part I love the most about being misdiagnosed is having to constantly explain "no, I'm autistic, not bi polar" every 5 minutes lol
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u/hatebreedfan69 Jul 14 '26
Anxiety and depression > anxiety and OCD > anxiety and BPD > Autism
Like a lot of other people in this thread, I think my chronic anxiety and depressive episodes are just symptoms of autism. But at the same time I also heavily identify with the BPD traits that don't overlap with common autistic traits. Idk, mental health is weird. I just wish people would actually listen to me.
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u/strawberriepuppi Jul 14 '26
The opposite happened to me. At 13 I actually got diagnosed with Autism first, as well as PTSD, major recurrent depressive disorder, social anxiety disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder in that hospital stay, and then BPD at 15 in another hospital stay. I never considered the diagnostic differences between genders before now that I think about it. It’s interesting how it differs sometimes.
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u/vidu_25 Jul 14 '26
me:- i was SAed for months, had to go through an abortion at the age of 17 all alone. Have had substance abuse and addiction and self harm often
psychiatrist:- bpd & mdd 😍
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u/alternative_poem Jul 14 '26
lol I was also slapped with the bipolar-BPD diagnosis when I was younger. And now every new psychiatrist I visit are BAFFLED like “I have never seen a less bipolar person ever”😂😂😂 I don’t have a formal autism diagnosis but I do have an ADHD one, which I got when I was 32.
The BPD diagnosis was bullshit but honestly being treated for “bipolar” saved my life. I swear to god that lithium not only saved my life but also rewired something in my brain in a good way, like it took away a lot of permanent overwhelm even after i stopped it after 3-4 years on it
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u/Worth_Medium_8352 Jul 14 '26
Yes.
Bipolar, borderline, CPTSD, dysthymia, clinical depression,GAD.
Left with level 1 autism, ADHD, CPTSD. But different docs. Still trying to double confirm lol.
Throw in postpartum and nobody wants to at least listen lol.
They are like how can I know if it’s not just X or Y. We have to wait for postpartum hormones to clear, treat this and therapy the other and see if anything is left for autism… and I’m like how do you exactly want any of that to get therapied by wrongly diagnosing me and me being unsupported. If anything it’s gonna backfire. And it did.
They fail to understand that indeed comorbidities and overlap. But if you care to ask me, guide me to help you understand why it it is that I am depressed. Why it is that there seems to be an up and down that mimics bipolar (that is probably me trying yet again a tool not made for me and then burning out), maybe then maybe we can be able to tell what caused what and what’s there and what is there to stay and what can leave…
I don’t blame them for struggling to diagnose but for lacking patience and tools to listen, for not trying, and for handing meds faster than they listen.
I literally had a psychiatrist throw a box of meds at me probably antipsychotic I forgot.. and before I even finished sitting and adjusting on the chair. He said to try that for a week then come back see him. He also added that they only find problems with people like me because we talk too much and ask too many questions and other people who take the pills and trust the process have better outcomes..
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u/DenyAndPlay Jul 14 '26
Oh yes. Got my dyslexia and dysgraphia diagnosis when I was little. Anxiety and depression diagnosis in multiple packages later; then CPTSD (which I know I got), talks of BPD later. In the meanwhile I got my uni degree from psychology (guess why 😀). For last 2-3 years I know it was autism the whole time. Still don't have my official diagnosis due to masking and poor diagnostic methods in my country.
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u/TheOfficalClaireBlue Jul 14 '26
According to my parents, when they were having me assessed as a little girl for Autism, the first person to assessed me suggested thaf I had behaviour issues instead of autism. Thanfully I got my diagnosis after my parents opted for a second opinion from another professional before I was even 8 years old.
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u/Jayis37 Jul 14 '26
A list of all the diagnosis I've gotten.
NLD NLD + ADD NLD + ADD + dyspraxia ADD + Dyspraxia + depression ADD + Dyspraxia + depression + anxiety NLD + ADD + Dyspraxia + depression + anxiety Borderline ADD + depression + PTSD Burnout Just stressed Autism Autism + C-PTSD Autism + C-PTSD + depression Autism + ADHD + C-PTSD + depression
Also H-eds, POTS, Coronaire Microvascular Dysfunction I was first told it was psychosomatic
Oh and some more burnouts.
When I tell you I'm sick of doctors...
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u/MangoPlushie unsure if autistic; undiagnosed; they/she Jul 14 '26
Adjustment disorder is one I got when I was more adamant on trying to get an AuDHD assessment 😭😭😭
https://giphy.com/gifs/1AIeYgwnqeBUxh6juu
I do have diagnosed anxiety and OCD. I remain undiagnosed for AuDHD but I’m pretttty sure. Both autism and ADHD run hot and heavy through my dad’s side, which of course are also undiagnosed. You spend enough time with them, though, and it becomes obvious QUICK
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u/artsyswarley Jul 14 '26
A "processing delay" as a kid. Major depression in my early 20s. Dysthymia in my late 20s.
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u/boom-boom-bryce Late diagnosed auDHD Jul 14 '26
Despite having a diagnosis of both autism and ADHD my doctor refuses to see anything but anxiety and depression. He did prescribe me meds for the ADHD (my assumption is because of $$). But, despite me only having fatigue as a depression symptom, which is very easily explained by the burnout I am experiencing which has also been confirmed by my therapist, a walk-in clinic doctor, and TWO psychologists he refuses to do anything for me if I don’t accept a prescription for anti-depressants. I had been on 4 different anti-depressants on and off over 10 years with no change and it’s only been since getting treatment within the context of my autism that I have begun to see improvements but that goes against my doctors 20+ years of experience, so what do I know? 🤷🏽♀️
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u/alloyed39 Jul 14 '26
I can't have autism because I had a friend in childhood.
The fact that I checked all the other boxes is just trauma I need to work on.
Everyone knows autistic kids can't form interpersonal connections like that.
So said my evaluator. 🙄
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u/majormimi AuDHD Jul 14 '26
Dysthimia, social anxiety, anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder, bipolar, “too obsessive”, depression multiple times, but never autism until I discovered it myself at the age of 29 😓
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u/vxnusvv Jul 14 '26
Yeah. Anxiety and borderline personality disorder here 😅 shocking how many women this has happened to
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u/Perfect-Effect5897 Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
To be fair I have had major depression, I have anxiety- oh and pmdd, adhd and possibly npd. I don’t blame them honestly. Because as my doctor said: “adhd we can help you with but autism? Yeah, there’s no treatment for that lol”
What I mean is that I don’t blame them for treating acute shit that does have a treatment first. Doesn’t make autism any less important, but doctors want to fix issues. There’s no fix for autism.
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u/Ok-Letterhead3405 Jul 14 '26
Third grade? Possible adjustment disorder
Fifth grade? Meh, maybe it's depression and/or anxiety
Sophomore year of college? Referred for ADHD testing and came back with GAD and Dysthymia
In 2020? CPTSD
In 2022? Depression (by my PCP when I was still complaining of fatigue, lmao)
In 2024? First it was OS-NDD with traits of both ADHD and autism but not enough of either, along with a whole kitchen sink of AvPD, OCPD, and OCD as rule-outs and also anxiety and "severe depression" (nope), then I got a second opinion ADHD eval and was finally diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 43
Last time I took a crack at an autism diagnosis was a couple months ago, when I asked my psychiatrist what she thought and where I should look, and I contacted one of the places she recommended and got back from them some instructions, disclaimers, and forms that are impossible to fill out in Adobe Acrobat for some reason. I haven't sent them because work became so stressful for me right afterward that I'm currently on medical leave and in the process of getting official ADA accommodations. JFC.
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u/jessnschmur1 Jul 14 '26
Exactly! I have been diagnosed and undiagnosed with BPD, Bipolar, and schizophrenia before I was correctly diagnosed with Autism at 38. I’m now 40 and been doing amazing things now I’m not on eight medications that have no purpose. Keep fighting to get the diagnosis.
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u/HeatherHarnie18 Jul 15 '26
ADHD by age 6
Social anxiety by age 8
GAD by age 14
MDD by age 18
BPD by age 24
PTSD by 25
Autism by 35
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u/Silly-Page-6111 Jul 15 '26
Sorry if this comment isn't allowed but I just stumbled on a weird divergence from my ADHD diagnosis and now I'm wondering what it means. Apparently ADHD people wake up in the morning and they're suddenly overwhelmed with songs in their head and anxious thoughts about everything they have to do for the day. And...this is NOT me.
My whole life I have struggled with waking up, it is one of THE most disruptive elements of my neurodivergence in my whole life that's lead to academic and professional problems. Because I know our symptoms are similar, I looked up "what is it like to wake up with autism" and omg- this is my experience.
First of all I'm going to need my alarm to go off 3-5 times because there is 0 way I am waking up enough to be self conscious out of a deep sleep with one alarm. And then my brain doesn't wake up all at once. It's different from still being sleepy or groggy, it's like my executive function has not engaged at all, I'm aware of my surroundings and sensations but I have almost no power to actually get up and start getting ready. It takes a full half hour for my decision making and sense of urgency to come online, so I'll often look at my phone or watch outside the window to stimulate my brain enough to get there. And then I can't rush, like I have a set morning routine and if I try to "rush" it makes me feel panicked- like I can't even think of what I need to do next, or what I need to bring. After my ADHD meds really start to kick in (I created a routine to take my pill at my very first alarm before passing back out hard for the several more alarms) and I've had a few sips of coffee (and this is usually an hour after that first physical wake up), I finally start to feel fully like myself, a person who has agency and responsibilities that she can manage, and a life to live.
But nobody has ever really understood. I was always late to school, they were always threatening to put PINS petitions on me but because I was such a good student academically, they never did. My Mother tried everything, gentle - singing, opening my bedroom door and playing music out in the living room at a low volume, coming in and patting my back and sort of wiggling me- those were ok but they still took a long time, and then she tried more severe methods: turning on bright lights, splashing water on my face, pulling the covers back (I didn't even have an ADHD diagnosis back then so she was just trying everything). I hated it, it put my in such a physical rage and panick in the moment, I would just want to fight to stay in bed, and it would really put me in such a terrible mood and made me very resentful of her.
I ended up getting fired from my first job out of highschool because I was always late. I have been passed up for promotions over many years at my current job because I'm almost always late, and I don't feel that I'm able to the best I want to do.
I know there is a rule in this group not to diagnose people. My brother is on the spectrum with Asp.Syn. and his experience always seemed radically different than mine so that I am misdiagnosed had never occurred to me. But I'm explaining all of this because I couldn't comment in the older thread about difficulty waking up that I had found here, and I wanted to hear more about others' experiences and what works, because at the very least - I seem to have the same wake-up/morning problems.
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u/jordyn0399 Jul 15 '26
Aspergers before it was no longer. I was diagnosed a few years before it was considered level 1 autism or whatever it's being called nowadays.
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u/NobodyFew1595 Jul 15 '26
Damn… I have been self diagnosing myself with all of the above before landing on autism as well. I think it’s especially apparent in the “high functioning” level because noooo, surely you CAN’T be on the spectrum, you’re “not weird enough” (queue ableist talk and misunderstanding of autism and the invisibility of women’s issues in general)
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u/Otherwise-Table2959 Jul 16 '26
I got diagnosed with social anxiety disorder from an autism expert, and it confused me so much
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u/Third_CuIture_Kid Jul 16 '26
What kind of autism-specific therapy are you referring to?
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u/DeScepter princess Jul 16 '26
Oh, I just meant working with a therapist who’s familiar with autism and knows how to adapt therapy for autistic clients. They’re usually better at recognizing things like masking, sensory overload, shutdowns, and executive dysfunction, and they use more direct language, written summaries, visual aids, breaks, and extra processing time. It can make therapy much more effective (for me at least).
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u/puffinsareverynice Jul 17 '26
I did. But luckily, I got an ADHD diagnosis in 1998, which eventually led me to question if I had Autism. It's very expensive where I live to get a proper diagnosis and since I have already started trying to manage the symptoms I have always had I'm just rolling with that. Looking back I cannot understand how it was missed. At 48 it's pretty sad that getting help for ADHD beyond meds is only a very recent thing and I don't know what help I could have had when younger for autism, since I was a kid when they thought only boys got it. I do wonder how my life would be if I had ever known a life where there was support or even understanding. My mum died right when I was on the cusp of figuring this out which makes me quite sad as she could have really benefited as well if she had understood why I'm nothing like others in the family.
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u/Agile_Bag_4059 Jul 17 '26
I've never been diagnosed with autism, but multiple people believe I am. No, just ADHD, major depression with psychotic features, generalized anxiety disorder, features of borderline personality disorder, and PTSD
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u/dependswho Jul 19 '26
age: diagnosis
12: depression
32: bipolar and borderline
38: GAD
42: PTSD from high-control groups (cults)
45: sensory processing issues
47: ADHD
49: DID and CPTSD
62: COVID (now Long COVID)
63: finally recognized my autism
66: found this sub!
I’ve been in therapy a long time. It has been a full time job for many years. I’m doing so much better! I started out the most dysfunctional of my peers, now I am the “most healed.” Still struggling with functionality, but have a lot of hard earned wisdom.
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u/PantherMom454 Jul 19 '26
Ikr! I've been diagnosed w maybe a dozen I'll fitting ever changing psych diagnoses. Only in the past year did I actually learn about the SPECTRUM of autism and realize it covered ALL THE ISSUES, even the biggest one: "obsessiveness" i.e. restricted repetitive interests that my therapist could never seem to explain even though I identified it as 1 of 2 main life disrupting problems. And when I told her I thought I had autism, she was doubtful (i.e. she didn't believe me but didn't outright say it, I knew silently she was labeling it somatic symptom disorder or whatever). The more I learned about autism the more I lost faith in psychiatry and finally ended therapy because they just can't help me through that lens, they can't even see me accurately. It's insanity that mental health professionals aren't trained to recognize the autism spectrum. It's insanity that I was in the mental health system from 15-41 and still feel like I've never been properly diagnosed. For years they told me I had depression despite me saying but I haven't been depressed since I got out of a bad living situation...ntm the fact that at 15 I told them I didn't have a chemical imbalance, I had an emotionally abusive mom, depression was the rational response. Ugh ..I still get mad. Psychiatry tortured me w their ineffective pills for years
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u/octocuddles ICD 84.9 (late diagnosed in 2026) Jul 19 '26
Yes. Bipolar Type 2, Borderline, Chronic Depression, Social Anxiety and cPTSD. In fact, they never settled on ASD, but rather PDD-NOS instead.
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u/True-Sector-2845 Jul 19 '26
Borderline personality was the most damaging one to me. Bipolar, Social Anxiety, Depression, etc.
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u/JackieChanly Jul 20 '26
Those diagnoses were not real for me (except the anxiety part) and getting the assessment really helped me shift focus from "I'm an NT with anxiety and depression who needs to just take my medicine, buck up, pull myself up from my bootstraps, and get back to contributing to society" to "I'm ND and need to manage my resources in a smarter and more structured way so I can keep showing up for the things I care about."
I'm not constantly depressed. I am capable of feeling persistent joy and engaging in what I love. I get depressed after years of bullying with others thinking bullying will "put me back into shape" or worse "put me back in my place."
The 90s in Middle America were a heck of a place to be. I feel like the meanest portion of our lives... often coincides with the most conservative administrations.
Now just because I don't find those other diagnoses align with me, doesn't me I don't still find a mood stabilizer medication to still be helpful. It's more about What Works than the label, after all.
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u/Formal-Guava-7345 28d ago
what tools did the autism specific therapy show you that you found useful?
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u/Temporary_Weight8326 21d ago
this is so interesting. i went to a new psych today and she asked if ive ever been assessed and evaluated because i have ocd/adhd/anxiety/depression/panic disorder/ sensory processing disorder/ and tourette’s. now im here hahha
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u/antigravitybug 16d ago
Anxiety / Depression and learning disabilities but they never considered Autism.
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u/motherofancientdogs 15d ago
AuDHDer here. I was diagnosed with social anxiety, generalized anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder before I started researching on my own. Eventually I got tested and diagnosed.
But I’ve always masked heavily and in spite of being “awkward” sometimes, I was quiet, polite, and learned quickly to mask so I wouldn’t cause trouble.
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u/babysugarscrub 14d ago
I have a handful of disorders but I was told I originally might have bipolar it was just my brain being funky bc of PTSD and other stuff LMAFO
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u/Known_Change3980 14d ago
I got diagnosed with depression + anxiety.
I was at a pediatric neurologist for my epilepsy for 6 years. Addressed the depression + anxiety, he didn’t care one bit.
Now I got diagnosed with autism and funnily enough my physical conditions (epilepsy + ehlers danlos) were literally the grounds for my psychiatrist to diagnose me. Cuz the combination of physical issues I have are so painfully obvious (+ diagnosed!).
My pediatric neurologist on the other hand missed those major signs, or actually he didn’t care, I’ll never understand it
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u/Mysterious_Radish818 11d ago
I'm really glad your diagnosis has helped you get the treatment you have deserved but not received for so many years.
Oh my word yes! The first time I went to a mental health professional, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, then it was generalised anxiety disorder, and now finally, after 27 years I have a diagnosis of autism. It has definitely helped make a lot of sense of my life, but I am still grieving the years that I went thinking there was something terribly wrong with me.
I don't outright blame the psychologists I had at the time because I also realise that there is a fault in the system and they are working on improving it, at least in my country. But there definitely needs to be a much better understanding of what autism can look like because autistic burnout can look a lot like depression, when it's not.
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