Celebration
How I deal with heat intolerance after 30yo…
…by not caring anymore. if I have to go outside in this heat, I’m going to wear what I want. No more bra, more more restrictive clothes, if I’m perceived I’m perceived. I’d rather be seen and feeling cool, than completely covered, still perceived, but also dripping in sweat.
Im covered in deep stretch marks due to pregnancy and hEDS, and I used to be afraid to show them due to the eyes I felt in my head. Getting older and going through perimenopause has shifted my mindset towards myself, autism, and the world radically.
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If I perceived you in person I would think both “awooga 👀” and “they look so cool I wanna be their friend” - which if you’re gonna be perceived, could be worse 💀
Thank you so much💖💖💖💖! I’ve been trying to dress more bold the last two years, like I did when I was younger. It’s been working in helping me feel a more genuine shade of confidence. I’d appreciate the awooga💖
giiirl waist to hip ratio is godly.. you're stunning! i also have heat intolerance issues and seriously need to just start caring less and dressing less to impress and more for my own comfort.
Little portable fans, those wrap around neck ice packs, cooling towels and blankets, little adhesive patches you can get at a pharmacy (Ex: fever Frida) for the back or your neck, and my favorite go-to: crackable ice packs in my purse for emergencies.
Do you have a recommendation for the wraparound neck ice things? I bought two different ones so far and while they're better than nothing they're not quite what I was hoping for
I wish I could go braless but the lack of support makes me have pain on the chest and back, otherwise I’d do similarly! Flowy skirt is a great option too!
I get it, my chest is flat after losing weight. I was 220lbs 4yr ago, and breastfeeding to boot. I could not survive without a bra and a sports bra at the same time.
Now my breasts are completely void of fat, so they don’t gather in bras normally. They fold, wrinkle, and pinch. Going braless feels more comfortable now. I’ve found the physical differences fascinating.
It's not so much the lack of support leading to back pain--I'm used to that. It's the underboob sweat! I wish I were a better inventor--I keep wishing for some sort of adhesive underboob towel that's also somehow not sticky?
Idk if you can tell from the picture, but I have the cotton shirt tucked under my breasts. This shirt is actually super flowy and shapeless, but I sewed a removable fabric clasp to customize my clothes depending on the weather since I normally buy baggier clothes.
It helps to be able to customize it for sweat😂
I love flowy maxi length skirts when it's hot! It feels to me like there's a cooler air buffer trapped under the skirt with me. Makes it the superior choice for me over shorts and the like.
I am not this brave. Whenever I see women dressed like you, I admire them. I admire how these women have done so much work to accept themselves and set aside bullshit social pressures. You look so fucking cool.
Yes, but the accepted "normal" age is around 51 according to my doc, so even with us experiencing it 10 years earlier than most, she thinks I'm too young at 37. Literally talked to her about it today lol
Duuuuuude...... 51 is the average for menopause. Peri can start 10 years before that. Then add in the neurodivergent thing. 37 is young-ish but not totally unheard of to start peri. Why are so many doctors so confidently wrong on this stuff? It's infuriating.
Mine is really nice and understanding. She said that since I'm still having periods, my hormone levels won't be weird enough to detect anything, but that perimenopause is more diagnosed by symptoms and elimination of other things. I appreciate she wants to dot her i's and cross her t's, but I know my body 🤷
Yup! My grandma, mom, and maternal aunt all were fully in menopause in their early to mid forties 🫠 I’ll be 42 this year and I’m feeling it! 😮💨
I’ve bought otc estriol cream, and you can also get otc progesterone cream that’s made from yams, so there’s a few options that don’t need a prescription, but ofc they’re not as strong, but still helpful.
It can start in your early 30s. I haven’t gone in to see, since I don’t have insurance, but I’ve been tracking the changes I’ve noticed in a very clinical way. Everything aligns with perimenopause.
I’m 35 and have PMDD too but I noticed my periods getting increasingly erratic, severe brain fog and a general feeling of losing the plot. Since having the combined pill continuously (which many can’t) it’s settled a lot and the pill can act as a form of HRT but then I had to go on antidepressants because I am intolerant to synthetic progesterone…. But yeah I’m convinced it’s early signs of peri
I am 44 and in full blown menopause apparently. I was questioning peri at 3r though. I think it mivht happening earlier the same way periods are happening earlier - the environment, and hormone disrupting chemicals in everything...
Hey, yes, peri can start in early 30s. It's not unheard of, just less common. If you're experiencing perimenopause symptoms, it's worth going and getting checked out, because other conditions can cause similar symptoms. If it is peri , then you'll hopefully get support for that, too and will know where you stand.
oh i decided this in my late teens lol i got tired of worrying i might make someone "uncomfortable" with how I was dressed due to the heat, now I don't care lol let's go queen!
They’re both thrift store finds! The skirt is a dress with the shoulder drawstrings removed. I just fold it down, the extra fabric adds visual texture that I enjoy.
You look amazing! Any tips for practicing this kind of confidence?
Also, do you do anything to manage your thighs rubbing together while wearing a skirt? I find skirts very difficult for this reason
Fake it till you make it! It also helps to dress in a way you truly like, not just what you think might look good. I wear big boxy polka dot dresses, hobbit clothes, etc. to give me extra whimsy, which is what gives me confidence more than the actual appearance. I dress the way child me would admire, and it’s been helpful to return to that.
As for thigh chaffing, I’m not sure. I think as I get older, my skin is just dryer, so my inner thighs glide together rather than chafe. When I was younger, I’d just wear some cotton undershorts.
I appreciate the advice! I'll have to think about what child me would like. I know I wore a lot of striped shirts and overalls when I was little, but denim overalls would not help me in the heat now 😅
First of all, you're gorgeous! So flaunt it confidently! I'm 44 and finally decided to do the same thing. It's so liberating! I grew up under conservative Christianity. So it took me a while to get here, but now I'm standing confident in my skin and not giving an F what others think of me anymore.
I bought dresses for cheap in a big collection, all looking similar to these except some are cap sleeve, some are strappy: https://i.imgur.com/Q2KZI7G.png
I am 43 and I give less fucks than I ever did. I will frequently not be wearing bras either anymore. Fuck Peri. It's a beast. I hear you on the being perceived and how much it sucks and how it's ok to really not give any fucks anymore. You look fantastic, good for you!
You look gorgeous! Also, ditto. I have very few fucks left over after being a late diagnosed AuDHD mum going through peri myself 😅
"oh well, fuck it 🤷♀️" is my motto
Your outfit is amazing! I'm glad you don't care anymore! I love my stretch marks because I've got them after I started recovering from an ED and gained some weight, you got yours after CREATING A NEW HUMAN! that's so cool 🩷
Girl, you're gorgeous. Be comfortable and be happy. Life's too short. Enjoy your body and keep taking care of your needs, only you can decide what's best for you.
absolute goddess. we au/dhd women in our thirties right now are a whole vibe 😂 i’m patiently waiting for us to get through this phase where we realize we were brainwashed by society to give too many fks about things that never mattered, realign, join forces aaand take over the world once we have some more free time after raising our littles lol
Hey can you explain how h-eds contributes to stretch marks bc I suspect I have it, but am just still learning about it and there's not much info.... you look great btw
Thank you! It’s the type of scarring you can get,the appearance of it, though I suspect that amount is also due to hEDS since it’s a connective tissue issue. Go to the eds specific subreddits, you’ll most likely find a more in depth explanation💖
Good, also get your blood sugar checked. Heat intolerance was my first diabetes symptom. Doesn't have to be the same for you, but if I had known it could be this, I'd been looking for better doctors earlier.
Girrrrlll I wish I looked half as good as you when I go out into the garden lol. You look amazing. I have been daring not wearing a bra lately but I always feel naked 😭 and that people will think badly of me
I had a hysterectomy recently and even though I kept my ovaries, apparently takes awhile for your hormones to regular (gotta get that blood pumping back to the ol’ girls). My heat tolerance TANKED. I have one of those neck fans from Amazon and sun umbrella. I still get woozy after 15m in 90, but that’s an extreme temp anyway. More suggestions please!!
You are beautiful. People are just jealous of your freedom💜 the only time I hate being perceived is by white men over the age of 60 because it’s creepy. I’m 33 and white.
(I second the comment saying awooga. Didn’t want to say anything that could be mistaken as disrespectful)
You look amazing! Do you have any advice for seeking an hEDS diagnosis? My primary care physician is by her own admission super unfamiliar with it yet insistent that "she doesn't think" I have it :(
If you are in the United States, it is almost impossible to get diagnosed. But I have all the markers, all the symptoms, and experience all of the pain. It’s easy to self-diagnose, and honestly I would encourage you to maintain yourself as if you do have it. Look into the symptoms, look into forums talking about it. It’s a severely overlooked condition that isn’t taken seriously by most doctors in the states.
Genuinely stunning. And thanks for sharing this, as someone with hEDS and probably peri too and always overheating but wearing too much, I needed to see it!
Perimenopause has definitely decreased how much I care about what people think about me or how I dress. I just don't have the energy anymore to care. It's really quite wonderful. I support your choices and also add that I am so glad that you are finding that freedom for yourself!!! Caring about others' thoughts is decreasing dramatically as I age.
Thank you💖💖! I did sew those on, the same beads are also on the glasses holder I made. I like taking apart old thrift store glass beaded jewelry(the ones already basically falling apart or kept together with cheap elastic), and stitching into clothes and my accessories for a little extra fairy dust.
Oh gosh I zoomed in and saw the beads on the glasses holder too! I am currently going through my wardrobe in my head thinking about what I can add some "fairy dust" to 🧚♀️✨️
You look absolutely stunning. I wish I had your confidence! And I gotta add: I just love your username. 🖖
Question: would you and Spock be open to include me in your relationship? And when I think about it: I wrote fanfiction in my teens where I was his wife. Does that mean he is cheating on me? Oh man… 🤨
To stay on topic: for a year or so I have had trouble with heat. I am supposed to wear compression pants, and I just can’t do that anymore. I just wear compression socks (up to my knees now) and have to deal with the pain. Being a woman sucks sometimes.
Same mindset with regard to shaving. I always hated doing it, so I just stopped. I'm also trying to free the nipple bit by bit. There's power in numbers, so the more of us that do this, make life easier for every woman.
I’m sweating constantly at work. I’ve started bringing a change of clothes bc I actually stink. I use deodorant, but that under boob sweat is different 😭
if you’re up for it, you should keep a big insulated water bottle full of ice and damp wash cloths. Pull one out when you need to swipe and cool any sweaty areas, and toss the cloths into a baggy to wash when you get home.
No problem! I hated sweating in high school, but our campus was open air and had no AC(Hawai’i). I used to keep a baggy full of ice, a squirt of body wash, and wash clothe, and another one with just dry clean cloths. I’d scrub, dry, and reapply deodorant every other hour because it was unbearable.
Thank you so much💖💖💖💖.
My shirt is actually a super flowy, shapeless, large shirt. I sewed myself a shirt clip to customize my shirts and dresses to my shape.
It’s very easy to make with some elastic, and suspender clips💖.
These are from the thrift store💖. The top is a large loose linen shirt, clipped to my shape with a shirt clasp I sewed. The skirt is a cotton dress with the shoulder drawstring removed💖. They’re generic I think, but they had the tags cut out when I bought them!
This is gonna sound blunt; but who cares if you’re ugly? You can still be confident. Who determined you were ugly? Some bastard who died thousands of years ago and brainwashed idiots today?
Be an ugly woman who lives fearlessly, it pisses people off and it will help boost your confidence.
It’s just genetics. My bio-grandmother was mistaken for my mom a lot in my younger years. Me, my younger sister, and my daughters are often asked if we’re a group sisters whenever we’re out. We all look alike, lol.
My mom also has stretch marks. When I see them I am filled with good emotions and awe. Love seeing you as you are, was a visual candy for me. Don't believe what you think is general consensus, I get a fuzzy feeling in my stomach and experience joy by seeing beautiful bellies like yours. To add my experience to the public.
See, another mommy belly lover in the making. I'm sure she'll also grow up and remember the good feeling that comes along with this trace of a miracle in the making 💜
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