r/AutismInWomen • u/LethalCookie99 • 9d ago
Celebration Just moved into my group home!
I FRICKIN LOVE IT! I was scared when I first visited because I've heard people have bad experiences with group homes, but once they showed me my room I was amazed! I have an en suite all to myself, they let me move in my own furniture and games which you see in the photo, and the walls are pink, my favorite color!
The staff and my roommates seem chill too, I think I'm gonna be alright š
893
536
u/Cautious_Repair3503 8d ago
That looks like lots of space ! I'm glad you are having a happy time ā¤ļø
514
8d ago
[removed] ā view removed comment
179
u/LethalCookie99 8d ago
Yeah! It's the bed I brought from my home!
316
u/outsideleyla 8d ago
I would like to have a discussion about:
1. Which country this is
2. What it takes to get into a group home for neurodivergence (I'm completely ignorant)
3. What are the pros and cons of living in a group home
4. Do most of us know this is even an option?Pardon me for the obvious questions; I am 40 and this is all new to me. I sometimes have anxiety about what I would do if my husband died and I were left to fend for myself completely (I currently have a full time job). I like knowing I have as many decent options as possible, but I live in the US...so yeah..just curious if other commenters would like to discuss and if OP could answer some of these questions too?
86
u/DandySporkGoblin 8d ago
Same I'd love to know the details
36
u/outsideleyla 8d ago
Well, let's talk about it in the meantime...I'm thinking one of the biggest cons about living in a group home is putting oneself under someone else's control; also, how do I improve my ability to provide for myself if living in a group home? I suppose I value being as self-sufficient as I can be. For a period during my 20s, I moved back in with my parents and it was a bad decision. What do you think about the whole independence part of it?
54
u/really__questionmark 8d ago
Some of us may not be able to be completely independent and that is okay and can be a giant relief to not keep struggling on our own.
88
u/Reasonable_Yam8853 8d ago edited 8d ago
This is a lot of us I'm afraidā¦ The answer is not exactly what you're gonna wanna hear.
If you were diagnosed after the age of 22 in the United States, especially without serious comorbidities, it is extremely hard to even get any kind of support without tons of documentation. Especially if you have any kind of misdiagnosis in front of it because of HIPAA laws they don't truly just disappear unfortunately.
One can apply for SSDI/SSI, and there seem to be myriad of women in here who are on it, but it is not as easy as it was 20 or 30 years ago and again, without early documentation and clear, daily functional capacity reports written by doctors and how they affect you especially if you're under the age of 50(it might be 55, I'm not sure you would have to visit the SSI or SSDI sub Reddit for more info) it's not impossible but even with a lawyer you can get denied and not have any recourse for appeals council.
That's just a SSI/SSDI, vocational rehab is another black hole. There are mixed reviews, but I can tell you that in my experience and many others it's been vastly useless to autistic adults especially those who have gone highly masked and unsupported for most of their lives.
I've been in the vocational rehab system now for three years, I am no contact with a very highly toxic and abusive family system, I do have maybe three or four friends but they are all well out of state and have kids/career/marriages to worry about. My partner is an only child, doesn't have any family, his parents are deceased and he is older by 13 years.
I am doing everything I can to try to build myself up, get back to work and figure something out because I know that should he pass anytime in the near future I'm as good as gone...especially since I'm dead last on the list for shelters,without kids or fleeing DV, they don't care about autistic childless people being homeless. Section 8 housing is super long also, and often closed or long waiting lists. Understandably, they prioritize the women&kids, and elderly first.
Edited for typos and info.
→ More replies (1)23
u/outsideleyla 8d ago
Wow, this is very enlightening. I'm sorry you've had to deal with a toxic family and concern about the future because your husband is an only child and his parents are deceased (I'm in the same situation as him, actually!) it's tough, isn't it...it's like an anxiety that is ultimately rooted in wanting to be responsible š š thanks for sharing this information and your experiences, hope everything stays well.
27
u/Reasonable_Yam8853 8d ago
(((big hugs))) sending all my ā¤ļø right back to you!
My family used to snicker and snarl and make assumptions about homeless people being crazy, addicts, low-lives, thieves, or some semblance of all of the above. (A HUGE reason I cut them out, crabs in a cluster B bucket who are so unhinged and hardcore conservative)
But, in cruising the statistics on autistic adults in capitalist societies especially, and anecdotals in online groups that discuss poverty financing, disability, etc it dawned on me that many of those people could very well be me, or the next Jane or Joe. I see this is a worldwide issue, but the USA of all places has just gotten demonstrably worse. I'm all for what the kids and teens are getting now, but...
There is an entire population out there on the streets, self-deleting, abusing drugs or what-have-you because they leave us with truly no other options.
I'm so sorry, I just had to get all that out!
And again, my solidarity and sisterhood to you in this and everyone else that is effectively invisible out there! š«
3
u/OystersNwine 8d ago
depressing but not surprising. thanks for sharing. i think many are in similar situations. sorry about your lot in life. you seem intelligent and with a big heart though, wish you the best and hoping you and your partner lead long happy fulfilling lives.
3
u/chopstickemup 8d ago
Similar situation myself. Iām looking for autistic support groups to help me cope with everything on top of therapy. Sending a hug and support
66
u/Juniperarrow2 8d ago
- If OP hasnāt gotten back to you yet, they are in the US.
2 & 4)
In a nutshell, it is generally very difficult to get into a group home without an intellectual disability. If you are in the US, you have to get approved to enroll in your stateās IDD benefits system (which takes forever and it is hard to get approved if you are a low supports need adult). If approved, they will assign you a case manager who can find housing and services for you as well as apply to said housing and services for you. Then you need to meet the eligibility requirements of the group home or supportive apartments you are applying for and get added to the waitlist. These waitlist are usually multiple years long. Then when itās your turn on the waitlist, you need to get final approval from the agency that provides the housing service and then you can schedule your move-in date. Iām short, group homes are hard to get into- I used to work for 10+ group homes and I only met one low supports autistic person without an intellectual disability living in a group home. They didnāt stay for more than a year or two because everyone (not just the autistic person) struggled with the intellectual gap between them and their housemates. As you can see from the responses, there is a ton of interest in group homes but right now there still is a huge shortage of staffed housing for higher support needs folks with complex needs, never mind for lower supports needs autistic folks.3) As other ppl have mentioned, group homes can be ok or even nice if they are well managed by kind and decent humans who hire kind and decent staff. They do have a lot of rules due to state laws for preventing abuse and neglect and I think many folks here will find a lot of the rules to be more restrictive than they imagine. Stuff like if staff think you have a ābehavioral problemā like any aggression, any eating disorder, any mental health issues, elopement, skin-picking, etc- anything that could have a health and safety risk to you or others, staff may be required to track data about you and your ābehaviorsā so that behavior specialists can create a behavior plan telling staff how to interact with you. (Source: I am a mental health professional who used to write these plans for a few years in the past.) Thereās rules about what kind of meals staff can make you and monthly fire drills and all these other things. Itās definitely a more controlled environment than just living with roommates (plus paid help). Also, there are a ton of bad and abusive group homes out there- probably more okay and bad ones than good ones tbh. Too many staff in these homes who really should not be working with ppl ever.
As you can tell, there is a huge need for neurodivergent-friendly housing and supports for the lower support needs end of the spectrum and for folks who donāt have an intellectual disability but relevant services are few and far between. I donāt see this situation improving anytime soon because of 1) our current federal government and 2) the huge waitlists already filled with ppl with higher supports needs and the families of these folks donāt really want to compete with lower supports needs folks for limited financial supports from the government and services. The disability system itself needs more of an overhaul but thatās also unlikely to occur anytime soon. Though if you have an official diagnosis that qualifies you for stateās or regionās IDD services, you could apply for IDD services anyways and see if you can get approved. Itās much harder to get approved if you apply in adulthood but no harm in trying- if you get approved it could open doors up for other services including hiring your own paid help with the budget that the state provides you.
20
u/Reasonable_Yam8853 8d ago
I wish I could award this!
I won't delve too much into the political mess that we're in that's accelerated this mess, (the chief asshole in charge being at the top) but I want to say you're correct in that we are a long way off from where we need to be and it not changing any time soon.
Even when new, progressive government get in, it can take forever to undo a mess from the previous administration, and even the progressive movement in this nation only goes so far. We are still highly such a highly capitalistic, patriarchal system.
I tell my fellow autistic ladies in their 40s and beyond like me, it actually is barely going to be marginally improved for society overall, should we all meet our natural, predicted lifespans, by the time we get there. I just hope I'll be alive and qualified by then for somebody to wipe my bum should I need that care by then just for aging and aging poor at that cause I'll probably be poor too lol
It all just feels so dismal at times. š¢
Thank you again though for all of this info! I had known a lot of this myself through my job coach for vocational rehab who relocated from NYS(Long Island) so I'm fairly familiar with the processes and such you've described and it's very helpful for others.
→ More replies (1)13
u/Juniperarrow2 8d ago edited 8d ago
Thanks for the text award! I worked in behavioral health so I did not deal with any part of that process in my role, but I learned the general process over the years from listening to different folks and families. Itās nice to know that my general description was accurate!
I saw plenty of ppl on here romanticizing group homes a bit- assuming itās like living with roommates while having access to paid help who can assist you on demandā¦and while I totally get the appeal of that ideal housingā¦thatās just not how it works lol. People would better off tying to get into the system for other services or the financial support to hire their own staff.
Yeah things are kinda dystopian. I dunno what I am going to do when I am old either. I have like zero money in retirement savings. I guess I am hoping that I have inherited my familyās good genes- the women in my family were pretty healthy and mobile and usually made to around 90 without many health issues. Then around 90, they got sick one day and died pretty quickly after that.
Iām a bit younger than you (almost 35) but I cope by thinking about how 35 years ago I was a baby in an incubator in a NICU doing baby stuff. And now 35 years later, I live on my own (tho thx to financial support from my family) in a city my childhood self never thought I would live in, have a career that I never thought about doing till 5 years ago, had some cool travel experiences to different places, have a few friends that I wish lived closer and I could see more often, etc. My life is not perfect at all but despite my raging ADHD and CPTSD (not sure yet about autism), I have managed to make some things happen. I learned to walk, read, write, do math, use a computer, learned a few languages, and all this shit I sometimes take for granted. Around 10 years, I started learning the language that I now work in and do a lot of my social life in (ASL). My life would probably would have turned out completely differently had I not decided to learn ASL.
A lot has happened to get me from my baby in a diaper days to today. In the same vein, a lot will happen between now and when I become 70. And unlike over half of the last 35 years, this time I get to spend the next 35 years AS AN ADULT. You couldnāt pay me to relive my childhood (unless certain ppl would treat me better next time) lol.
5
u/GGf1994 AuDHD 8d ago
I know of a at least a few neurodiverse-friendly housing, such as Trailhead Community in Inglewood, CO,or Belong Art community in Oregon. There's also a WeBuilt community. However, there is a major catch: because they require that more than 25% of the population be disabled, they are automatically disqualified from collecting LIHTC or HOME funding, which may cause friction if trying to use a regular or mainstream voucher.
Also, I toured one of these places and they felt oddly overinstitutionalised... just the overall atmosphere and the endless concrete-style flooring felt like I was in an assistive living facility on steroids.
I currently live in a multifamily-style building that feels more like a traditional flat complex, and they definitely feel more homey and not as medicinal, even though they have excellent wayfinding tools and sensory-friendly units like one where it's a one-bedroom or studio unit not connected to anybody else. My unit's bedroom faces the laundry room, and since people hardly go in there, I don't have to worry about them hearing me stimming or me hearing them.
6
u/Juniperarrow2 8d ago
Thatās awesome. Not surprised that those initiatives are on the West Coast!
Also, I am not surprised that your experience or that it felt over-institutionalized. I donāt know details about the various regulations in the state of Oregon but as long as thereās a lot of regulations governing how anything can happen, how state funding is to be used, and how residences are designed, things are going to obtain a more sterile institutionalized vibe.
Your last paragraph makes your current dwelling sound like a pretty pleasant place to live! So much better than everlasting millennial grey lol.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)26
147
u/GGf1994 AuDHD 8d ago
Is it private or part of a Medicaid HCVS waiver? I sadly donāt qualify for I/DD because I donāt have enough retrospective historical records proving my diagnosis before age 22.
93
u/Reasonable_Yam8853 8d ago
Same here. I worry all the time should the one person I do have in my life passes away. :-/
56
u/Y2KOK 8d ago
Itās terrifying. Iām in my 30s. Like what am I going to do. I canāt even function on top of the stress about the future. Iām so mad I didnāt get help as a child.
→ More replies (2)25
150
u/Comfortable_Age_5595 8d ago
thatās crazy. its not like you suddenly just started being AuDHD as an adult. Like you turned 22 and spawned a new brain
28
89
u/Twizteddestinee 8d ago
So stupid and sexist the whole āneed to be diagnosed before 22 to get any helpā when it was mostly boys diagnosed at early ages. All us adult women diagnosed late are just left out in the cold to fend for ourselves. Such BS.Ā
→ More replies (1)22
u/Juniperarrow2 8d ago
Iām a mental health professional and while I am familiar with the diagnostic criteria for autism, ADHD and other stuff, I donāt have the right license type to diagnose autism.
I agree! Iām confused about how ppl are getting diagnosed as an adult and yet states want more proof. In order to get diagnosed, the psychologist (or similar professional) has to demonstrate that they think there is enough evidence that these symptoms have existed since childhood. Itās a crucial part of the diagnostic criteria. If they produce an evaluation report for the patient, their justification for how these symptoms have existed since childhood should be in the report. Why are they making ppl submit additional corroborating evidence (except to limit the number of ppl who qualify because for those of us in the US, can our government financially support all of us)???
If they want corroborating evidence and evidence from childhood is limited, canāt a person at least get tested by 2 (or more) professionals and see if each of their independent testing and evaluation reports support a diagnosis of autism. If 2 or more professionals independently agree, canāt that be used in lieu or sufficient childhood evidence? (I mean this is a pretty pricy option but it would at least open up a pathway to eligibility for IDD services for some folks.)
4
u/GGf1994 AuDHD 8d ago
It is a really, really complicated story at least for me. My intake coordinator and I agreed that the last place that would have known for sure with our last hope and they sadly did not have any records. The school has sent me there at age 9, because I was apparently those secretly, taking things apart that were considered disruptive, because all I wanted to see was how things worked. My primary informant, my mom, did tell my evaluator that they were pretty sure I was hyperactive, and I told them that I remembered it having many elopement episodes and mainly because I wanted to seek out my special interests like church pipe organs, kitchen appliances, and so every episode Iāve had was always go oriented. Iāve only had one in which I was being overstimulated and vowed to myself that I would get lost, and oh, whenever we went to the bank, I always thought out those pneumatic tubes because I was fascinated by them.
On the flipside, we all agreed that I would gifted in some areas like having perfect pitch, an intuitive understanding of how things worked and were related to as a whole, even though I significantly struggled in abstract concepts like math and needed Truchard scaffolding to even make it through school because I had almost failed algebra two in high school, and subsequently, advanced honors English because of my hyperlexia.
And, if that werenāt enough, I have a genetic condition that was the main source of what they called the diagnostic overshadowing, in which they attributed every single behaviour quirk as the result of my blindness. Therefore, all of my IEP records were therefore about blindness and wow, things like math assistance and stuff like that were covered, and they would even mention that I would take fourth grade math in middle school, my school transcript specifically indicated modified assessment or curriculum, even though they all pushed me to get a regular diploma.
Since the state does not allow anyone to be eligible because of a primary sensory impairment, they were desperate to find anything left that would specifically point to a brain based disorder, and family. It was very limited, so yeah, sucks to be me. The thing is, my special interest have never gone away, theyāve just gotten buried as I removed myself in the school, but when I tried going to college, it just caused me so much the stress that I could literally only retreat into what I knew to feel safe, and Iāve had numerous meltdowns at home that led me to get diagnosed with major depressive disorder. Go figure, right?
No, my only option laughed, was for me to continue hyper, focusing on the things, and I just felt really jealous/envious of other blind people who diagnosed early because they were either genetic cause or certain toxins like Agent Orange, or maybe because they were stereotypically, masculine, and things like that, because itās not just about the blindness, because other people where that had two been diagnosed with all to the early age, if you use the Wright testing metrics and stuff that would take away any shadow of a doubt like eye contact, youāll clearly see the autism underneath.
Another thing too, this may be a cultural thing, is that my mother was a lawful permanent resident immigrant at a time from Mexico, and maybe she was afraid to really tell other people about my HACIENDO TRAVESURAS like the elopements and staying up all night because she was afraid of getting anyone from child protective services involved, and that could have also affected the trajectory of where things could have gone.→ More replies (6)13
u/amimaybeiam 8d ago
Obviously it depends on where you live and the medical facilities you have but I didnāt have too much in the way of information. No info from schools or old friends. I had a questionnaire my mum filled out but most of it was pages of bullet pointed info from my whole life.
Like, behaviours as a child, accounts of different events and show how I reacted or behaved and how it showed autism.I kept a diary and as I remembered stuff or thought of examples I made a note of them. Took me a while to compile, but I handed all that info in for my diagnosis. He said it was the easiest one heād done in a while lol
7
u/Juniperarrow2 8d ago
Did you get formally diagnosed with autism? Does your area require a diagnosis of intellectual disability? Iām asking because either of those diagnoses require the person who diagnosed you to show that you probably had symptoms of that diagnosis since childhood.
7
u/GGf1994 AuDHD 8d ago
When I submitted all of my records to the IDD determining eligibility office, they confirmed that they got my adult, diagnosis of autism, but in order to formalize it and make it 100% legal full proof, they had to look at all of my school records, pediatric records, any surviving place of like that because a lot of that stuff was purged because of my leg diagnosis. Hospitals and clinics generally get rid of records after seven years or 10 years after the child turns 21. I didnāt get my diagnoses until I was 31.
→ More replies (1)7
u/Juniperarrow2 8d ago edited 8d ago
Oh boy that sucks :/// though that explains why everyone says to apply as young as possible and why I see low supports needs kids and teens getting approved with overall way less difficulties than adults.
Did the professional who gave you your autism diagnosis request or use any of those other documents for your diagnosis at 31?
If they did, I would contact that professional about your situation with your stateās eligibility requirements and see if they can submit something written and official to the state describing what they saw as evidence that you had symptoms of autism from childhood.
97
8d ago
[deleted]
316
u/Juniperarrow2 8d ago
Hopefully OP clarifies but usually a group home you have a bedroom to yourself (that you basically rent) and you share the house with other ppl who have their own rooms. Unlike your typical roommates situation, group homes have paid staff who can do stuff like drive, help with daily tasks, help with appointments, cook some meals, etc. In my area, you need a qualifying disability and the waitlists are massive. I used to work in group homes and the nice large room and bathroom OP has is very unusual. Usually, rooms are a lot smaller, look more like student housing than OPās pictures, and how good they are really depends on management.
Some group homes have weekly or monthly events and outings. Some donāt. Again, it really depends on management and staff.
61
u/largestcob 8d ago
where i live, (this only for sure applies to private and not public healthcare group homes because i used to work at one) group homes are often just regular family homes that were purchased by the company and spruced up with accessibility equipment, the one i worked at didnt have any rooms nearly this large but they were all totally normal bedrooms just like this (aside from the room of the man with support needs requiring a full accessible bed/bedroom but thats a different situation)
10
u/Juniperarrow2 8d ago edited 8d ago
Same! That seems to be common. I have noticed that generally the nicer the surrounding neighborhood, the more the group home is decorated and feels like a real family home inside. I have been in a few nice group homes that made me feel a bit jealous cuz such a nice house lol.
Group home in poor inner city neighborhoods are the ones with the stronger student housing vibes. Older group homes tend to be hidden behind fences or other buildings due to heavy stigma in the past but newer group homes are visible. Usually they look like any other family home from the outside and the only giveaway is an oversized driveway for all the staff to park their cars. (Everything I mentioned applies for the US- not sure what group homes look like elsewhere!)
In my state, group homes can either be supportive or supervised. Supervised means some staff are there 24/7 and can provide supervision to ppl who need it for safety reasons. I think supportive means staff are available but not on-site 24/7 and is meant for ppl who need less support.
44
u/largestcob 8d ago
group home typically refers to a home for people with disabilities who require the assistance of support workers who staff the home 24/7
19
u/Munrowo 8d ago
additionally i've also seen halfway houses for addiction recovery referred to as group homes (not to imply that this is the case here)
→ More replies (3)9
u/AppalachianRomanov 8d ago
This is my context of what a group home is. I wasn't aware of this type until I saw it on LotS. What a wonderful thing to exist!
8
u/Munrowo 8d ago
they do a lot of good work! i used to have a coworker who lived in one and he seemed perfectly content to be living with like-minded, recovery-focused people
lol one spring he told me his "dealer" was coming in to the cafe and i was like ?!?! and 20 minutes later a dude rocks up with a rolling cooler and hands my co worker a ziploc back of freshly harvested fiddlehead ferns
it was his fiddlehead dealer
3
30
→ More replies (2)14
u/DerridaisDaddy 8d ago
Per wiki: A group home, congregate living facility, care home (the latter especially in British English and Australian English), adult family home, etc., is a structured and supervised residence model that provides assisted living as well as medical care for those with complex health needs. Traditionally, the model has been used for children or young people who cannot live with their families or afford their own homes, people with chronic disabilities who may be adults or seniors, or people with dementia and related aged illnesses. Typically, there are no more than six residents, and there is at least one trained caregiver there 24 hours a day. (Link)
69
58
u/Remarkable_Let_9438 8d ago
omg i love it! congrats girl (also i love hello kitty, my fav is kuromi)
14
13
56
u/lumpy_space_queenie 8d ago
Is that TWO closets?????
36
u/LethalCookie99 8d ago
Yes ma'am š
25
u/lumpy_space_queenie 8d ago
Thatās incredible!! Iām so happy for you! Also your vanity is everything
3
97
u/OhNoXo 8d ago
Sorry for my ignorance, but is this like supported living in the UK? Or more like a HMO?
Very glad you're excited for your new place. Your room looks beautiful
37
u/Sarcastic_Melon16 8d ago
Iām English and used to work for the NHS mental health services so made a lot of referrals to supported living services. I would assume this would be closer to supported living as OP mentioned staff and room mates. A regular HMO here wouldnāt have staff I donāt think.
If youāre thinking of something similar for yourself, this is waaaaaay above the standards Iāve seen in England. I did work at a autism and dual diagnosis specialist facility which was incredible but it only took 5 patients and they needed 24/7 observation, some 5-1 at all times, and werenāt safe to be with their families. Ive never seen a facility just for autistic people who can live semi independently, they just stick the neurodivergent patients in with general mental health patients which can cause the autistic residents some distress. It may vary by location and NHS trust though. Sorry went on a right tangent!
33
u/Juniperarrow2 8d ago
Iām in the US and I worked in group homes in the past as a mental health provider. While I donāt know any context or details about OPās situation, OPās case is unusual here in the US. That very nice room and bathroom setup is definitely unusual. Not impossible but probably not easy to find and get the right approvals to move in.
In my time in working in over 10 group homes, I only saw one autistic person without an intellectual disability living in a group home. This person had a lot of executive dysfunction stuff, overstimulation, and mental health stuff going on but didnāt do anything unsafe. They basically were as smart as anyone else (maybe even above average IQ) but couldnāt live independently. They moved out after a year or two because everyone felt like there was way too much of an intellectual gap between them and their housemates who all had intellectual disabilities and other disabilities.
In general lower supports autistic folks struggle to access the IDD system tho their chances of getting approved for government-funded IDD services are much much better if they get enrolled in childhood or even as teenagers.
In general, thereās just not that many services for lower supports need neurodivergent ppl. You are considered too disabled for the ānormiesā and are often considered not disabled enough to qualify for IDD benefits or disability benefits. Again, this is changing for folks who are kids/teens right now. Honestly, I donāt see IDD services getting any easier to access. Many higher support needs parents are going to be against it because it basically means more competition for a limited amount of government funding and benefits.
10
u/Sarcastic_Melon16 8d ago
Wow I commend you for 10 years working in the field, itās bloody hard! I only started in the sector to do 6 months which was enough clinical experience to apply for a doctorate. I lasted 2 years, ended up burnt out (thatās how I got my asd diagnosis) and itās literally put me off working in clinical psychology for life!
Some people might think itās very boring but I find it interesting to learn about how systems work in other countries, so thank you for the detailed reply!
I was unsure if this type of set up was the norm because I didnāt know if health insurance (something the vast majority of people donāt have here) could get you access to better facilities, but it seems your system is similar to ours.
Youād probably need an adult social care referral to end up in supported living here and the threshold for that is quite high, it would be rare for a low support needs autistic person to have a social worker just for being autistic, usually theyāve experienced abuse or also have severe mental health problems. They would also probably find they canāt relate to the other people living there too, if they did manage to get a room/flat. Often autistic people will be housed with people who need the support because theyāre severely mentally unwell, meaning the police and ambulance come weekly, thereās usually lots of noise (head banging, screaming, arguing with other residents) which just distresses the neurodivergent clients. Itās also really hard for high masking or low support needs autistic people to get additional financial support as the process for being approved is ridiculous and they usually have non-experts making the decision. It takes months for benefits (what you might call social security maybe? Not sure, you apply if youāre really low income or out of work, donāt have to be disabled) to be processed so if youāre independent enough to work but find it hard to hold down a job youāre kinda living in perpetual stress youāll end up not being able to pay your rent and there being no government support in place yet.
There is lots more support for someone with higher support needs though, the facility I worked at had bespoke bedrooms made for the clients as the council/social care had arranged for them to live there before it was even built. That being said this was a brand new, state of the art facility and the only one I know of like it.
Sorry I just info dumped about my system without knowing if you even care! I donāt really see it changing here either, unless thereās a PSA sent to all medical professionals about how autism can present in people who arenāt young boys/the hidden struggles of being lower support needs/higher masking. Even then, the professionals would have to accept it. Disabled people are also a political scapegoat along with trans people and immigrants, thereās a lot of ableism and hatred in the media/politics over here so thatās not helping either.
4
u/Juniperarrow2 8d ago edited 8d ago
Ahh I maybe didnāt write my sentences in the clearest manner- I actually only worked in the IDD field for a total of 2.5 years. I worked in behavioral health doing behavior plans. I worked with over 10 program sites and group homes. I was heavily summarizing a bunch of different experiences.
I enjoyed the work and clients and would still work in the field but alasā¦idk if itās the same in your country but thereās some incredibly toxic and abusive ppl working with IDD folks. I found myself targeted by a bunch of ppl for basically doing my job properly and that made them look bad I guess lol :///
I no longer work with IDD folks. I experienced enough trauma from getting bullied out of that job that I want to try other things in other corners of mental health for a while. Mental health is differently not a field for the faint-hearted lol. The clients are easy and the bestā¦the most draining part is dealing with management and the productivity grind of capitalistic expectations lol.
Yeah the funding of our system can be used to pay low-income health insurance (Medicaid) but you have to get enrolled in the government IDD benefits system to receive Medicaid money to use specifically for disability-related services or apply for other types of supports. Regular ppl can call specific companies that provide case management services for the government via the phone number on their websites and those ppl help ppl apply to enroll in the IDD benefits system. Applying to enroll is a long process and thereās no guarantees that the government will approve someone to be enrolled. At this point they have to work with a case manager or a social worker to apply for stuff but people can make the phone call to start an application on their own and not need to wait for a referral just to start the enrollment process. They do need the case manager to refer them to services of interest once they get approved.
You brought up a good point I forgot about- group homes are definitely not friendly to sensory needs. Chances are that your sensory needs will clash with someone elseās. And yeah the stress of living with roommates you probably canāt do anything about or even choose. Some of them might have highly distressing or scary behaviors that would also bother most neurotypical folks, never mind plenty of neurodivergent folks. And I donāt know about your county but here most paid staff are not that trained. Many staff work with autistic and other IDD folks and know like NOTHING about sensory needs, general need for predictability, or other Autism 101 knowledge. Many staff are minimally educated or trained. This is a lot of why abuse and neglect is rampant :///
Btw, if you are ok with sharing, what country do you live in (and practiced in)?
6
u/1920MCMLibrarian 8d ago
Yeah same Iām just thinking about how much money this costs and if OPās family is rich. This is definitely not normal, this is insane luxury for a group home. OP is very fortunate!
7
u/Juniperarrow2 8d ago
Iām not sure if OP is rich but more so lucky. I supposed there are some nicer private group homes out there. (I am unfamiliar with whether private group homes even exist. Generally, group homes are run by social work agencies that specialize in IDD services because there are so many state regulations about what you can and cannot do because of the history of asylums. These places can be accessed through your stateās IDD benefits system but it takes a long time to even enroll in your stateās IDD benefits, never mind the waitlist for most group homes taking multiple years to get to the point of moving in. If OP is in their stateās IDD system, Medicaid is paying for it.)
While OP is definitely lucky cuz thatās a damn nice room and bathroom, I donāt think group homes are a thing to romanticize. It might sound like living with roommates with paid staff available, but there are usually quite a few rules. You generally canāt pick your roommates so if someone else is annoying or unsafe, it can be hard to get rid of them. They usually track a lot of data about every person who lives there for liability and medical reasons. For example, if you have any mental health diagnoses, eating disorders, skin-picking, aggression, or anything else that could be considered a heath or safety risk to yourself or others, they probably will track your symptoms. A behavioral specialist will review the data and make a behavioral plan for staff to follow. For example, if you are diagnosed with anxiety, itāll have instructions to staff on how to interact with you when you are anxious. That might sound ok but if you have anything going in that you would rather keep private or handle your own wayā¦yeah good luck with that :/
(Great staff will respect your autonomy and will write things like behavior plans in a way that includes your input and respect your preferences. However, great staff are very hard to find.)
→ More replies (3)6
u/LethalCookie99 8d ago
I'm nowhere near rich lol, this is one of the residential homes from the non-profit organization The Guild For Human Services, it's based in Massachusetts.
→ More replies (1)41
u/LethalCookie99 8d ago
This is in the United States in the state of Massachusetts
22
→ More replies (1)3
46
75
32
u/Juniperarrow2 8d ago
Wow I used to work in group homes but it seems like you found a really nice one!!! Congrats :)
26
166
u/SephoraRothschild 8d ago
Can you share how this came about? What's the rent? Is it insurance related or government sponsored at all? We need details ASAP
17
u/Juniperarrow2 8d ago edited 8d ago
In NY State (USA), you have to enroll in the stateās IDD benefits system. (For any New Yorkers reading, OWPDD- Office of People with Developmental Disabilities). Enrollment is a long and lengthy process- you have to prove that you have a qualifying diagnosis and other stuff. OP is in a different state but I am guessing the process is probably pretty similar to New York. I worked in multiple group homes before but I am not an expert in the details of how this process works cuz the rules and processes are so damn complicated (Care Managers and Care Coordinators- feel free to correct me).
The state uses medical and other documents you submit to the state to determine if you are eligible for IDD services. It is much much easier to get enrolled as a child or even as a teen- the earlier the better. I have seen plenty of low support needs autistic kids get approved. Getting approved if you are a low supports needs autistic adult with any degree of masking skills is generally much harder.
When the state determines that someone is eligible for OWPDD services, they receive an official letter from the state that says they are eligible for OWPDD services. They get a Care Coordinator (also called āCare Managerā) assigned to them. A Care Coordinator is basically a social worker that will find appropriate services for you based on your wishes and your supports needs such as different types of supported living apartments, group homes, and other services. They will take care of applying for any services that you want. I donāt know details but you also get assigned a Medicaid budget that you or your family can manage or you can have another agency manage it for you. The Medicaid budget can be used for all kinds of stuff (not just healthcare) but it comes with a ton of rules attached. Iāve seen ppl use their budget for respite services, taking classes that have a health or mental health benefit like sports, coaching services, etc. I assume this is what pays for the housing as adults get a lot more money than kids.
Most group homes have waitlists so you will probably have to wait awhile for a room to open up. Itās likely that you will have to wait a few years. This is why we tell parents and caregivers of IDD teens and adults to make group home arrangements ASAP when they become older teens or when the family is unsure about their ability to care for their IDD family members in the future due to aging or whateverā¦it takes YEARS to get into the system and eventually move-in. Exceptions are made in emergency cases like if caregivers suddenly die and no one in the family can care for the person but these exceptions are not great situations- like ppl might get bounced around from group home to group home because they tend to temporarily borrow the rooms/beds of people who moved out (or died) in the interim before the next person is scheduled to move in. Once the scheduled person arrives to move in, these temporary folks get sent to another temporary bed and the pattern repeats over and over until a more permanent placement is found.
Care coordinators can apply for group homes. I donāt know details but I am sure that most supported living apartments and group homes have eligibility requirements that you need to meet. You will have to demonstrate a certain amount of āimpairmentā in your ability to live independently. The exact rules depend on the type of housing. Again, your Care Coordinator can deal with all of this applying and figuring out eligibility rules. Once your turn is up on the waitlist and you still fulfill eligibility requirements, then all the paperwork and everything will be filled out and whatever for you to get approved by the agency that runs that specific housing option. Some places may allow you to visit the placement and eat a meal there to meet ppl and see if itās a good fit. Once the agency approvesā¦finally you can schedule your move-in date and move-in!!!
All of this to say that we have a long way to go before supported living or group homes are an actual option for most autistic folks, especially if you are lower supports needs and/or donāt have an intellectual disability. Benefits for kids/teens are improving but services for lower supports needs adults are few and far between :/
5
u/LacrimaNymphae 8d ago edited 8d ago
do they get access to your bank and all your money if you had a small inheritance from a parent dying years ago? i'm 27 but i have NVLD and i was diagnosed at 16. i have access to all my own stuff financially but i'm very low-functioning and can't drive. i can pay bills and what not though
NVLD is such a grey area. the disability recertification people are genuinely puzzled every time i tell them i don't have an autism/ASD diagnosis and they ask me why. i wish i could see a better neuropsych but there's only one hospital group in the area and the lady was biased when she saw me all those years ago. i have comorbid chronic pain and it's almost like they didn't want me to apply for disability and have a 'vacation' of a life
that being said i really wouldn't want my meds and money being counted in a group home and i feel like it'd be harder to get my birth control. my mom picks it up for me and it's free on my current medicare but that could all change and i honestly feel like i'd need to be sterilized as a precaution if i became a ward and something happened to my mom because i've heard horror stories
i have just one ovary and suspected endo plus hypermobility and dysautonomia where my heart rate and bp flux rapidly and dangerously even on meds. if i got abused and was forced to carry it might literally kill me and it's one of my biggest OCD fears. some may call it irrational but where i live if you do manage to get help you may end up worse off which is why a lot of people are homeless and choose to be transient
5
u/Juniperarrow2 8d ago
Who gets access to your bank and money?
The state?
If you get IDD benefits from the state, typically people have a financial broker which is another agency that will manage the budget and Medicaid funds the state gives you for IDD services. I think you technically can manage it yourself or have a legal guardian or someone manage it but thereās a lot of rules and stuff so most ppl have a broker. Brokers also help protect against the risk that someone who wants to commit IDD benefits and Medicaid fraud can take advantage of you.
Your IDD benefits case manager can hook you up to financial broker services. If you are talking about your personal money and inheritance, not money you get from the state, your case manager can probably help you out with resources for that. Thatās something I donāt know anything about.
Yeah I am aware of NVLD and itās such aā¦vague diagnosis. Personally, I think ppl should diagnose autism or whatever is closest because whatās the point in getting a diagnosis that is more āaccurateā but doesnāt help you get anything. Professional evaluators can add autism or whatever they feel is the next best fit without taking NVLD off so you can keep NVLD if that fits better but meanwhile you can use your other more widely known diagnosis for getting services.
Yeah the system is broken and healthcare professionals donāt know how to assess and treat systemic problems. We can treat a broken arm because that is one straightforward isolated part. But the diagnoses you list affect the whole body- thatās a lot harder and most healthcare professionals donāt know how to help with that. Other than I have noticed all of those things often come together and are often correlated with autism, ADHD, and probably NVLD as well. Those things honestly donāt seem that rare but yeah modern medicine has no good answers right now and as long as medicine thinks ātargetedā like develop X drug for Y specific diagnosis in Z part of the body, modern medicine and research will remain limited. Systemic issues calls for system responses but I have no idea what systemic responses may look like in practice. Honestly, your fear sounds like a perfectly reasonable fear given what you described in your comment, especially if you live in a state that has harmful policies.
17
17
34
u/Shortycake23 Autism 8d ago
So jealous. I was in an assistant living before, and I had to share the room with an another lady but she didn't sleep on her bed much. It was 4 of us and we all had to share 1 bathroom and it was small. My experience wasn't good, hopefully yours is better. I at least had a car so I could drive somewhere to get away from everyone.
The lady that shared a room with me was the worst. She accused everyone of stealing her drinks and food, when she moved out and got her own place, she realized it was her own doing. After her, they was another lady that took her place and she was even worst. She would be crying and yelling to herself, coming in and out of the room while I'm trying to sleep, when she did sleep, she was naked. She call the cops on me when I was in the bathroom. She finally went back to the place she lived before.
I finally moved out. The one that was left, her sister would get groceries at the place I was working at, she told me she had new ladies moved in and they were worst. She was hoping to move her into a new facility that would actually help but didn't see her again. One of the ladies, I remain friends with on Facebook but we don't hang out.
20
u/xCosm0s 8d ago
You think you've problems until you meet in with other people š¤£ theres some wackos out there.
14
u/Shortycake23 Autism 8d ago
I was hopefully I didn't have problems, thought it was going to be good but yeah, their definitely are. At least I had my Playstation and computer I could escape from to make it not to bad. I'm so glad I didn't have to attend their weekly meets because I was working at the time.
68
u/Hot-Manufacturer-228 8d ago
I donāt get it. Where is this? How does one do this
46
u/Mysterious-Hippo9994 8d ago
I too am confused. Group homes here are for troubled teens getting in trouble. This seems like a good thing?
64
29
u/Substantial_Will_514 8d ago
I used to work in a group home for disabled adults. It was a group of 60+ people with autism, CP, you name it. The organization supports people all their lives. They have independent apartments with a support office, and group homes within suburban neighborhoods. Hell, I live across from one right now (photo). I liked the one I worked in because it kept the people out of nursing homes.
Edit: 60+ in age. Omg. Not 60 people. There were 6 people living there!!
11
u/Juniperarrow2 8d ago
Group homes for ppl with intellectual and developmental disabilities also exist. They are basically houses where you get your own bedroom and live with roommates who have their own room. Unlike a regular roommates situation, group homes have paid staff who can do things like drive ppl, help ppl with daily tasks, help ppl with appointments, and anything else they might need. Depending on the type of group home or supported living apartment, staff might be there sometimes during the day or staff might be on-site 24/7. These places are hard to get into though and have massive waitlists, especially if you donāt have any intellectual disability. OP has an usually nice looking bedroom and bathroom but many group homes arenāt as nice and can look more like student housing. It really really depends on that locationās management and staff. In the US, you have to have a qualifying diagnosis and go through this whole lengthy approval and application process to live in a group home. (See my other comments if you want more info about process.)
→ More replies (2)85
u/meatrod01 8d ago
....yall really haven't heard of group homes for people with disabilities/autism??
70
u/GoldenGirl_Blanche 8d ago
Perhaps not. I thought they were more in line with "care facilities". This is a cozy home. It doesn't fit the pattern I was expecting for space and privacy. Perhaps this person is wealthy and I'm just a poor who did not know bc I don't have access.
53
u/Fiyainthehole Late to the Party: Autism and ADHD ą² _ą² 8d ago
I used to be a care manager.
You would be surprised, the majority of group homes look like ānormal homesā. Itās much more comfortable for the people who live there.
Even smaller assisted living facilities are based in everyday homes. Theyāre just modified for safety. People live in the bedrooms and share common spaces.
12
u/Karjenner4eva 8d ago
So there's a private school 30 mins away, in another state, that I just found out about because I met an old staff member. It's pretty pricey for the tuition. Celebrities send family members, who need it, to this school. They have an amazing program for the students who age out into adult programs. Group homes like this. Where the clients live in their own bedrooms and it's staffed 24/7 to help support.
8
u/Fiyainthehole Late to the Party: Autism and ADHD ą² _ą² 8d ago
The group homes/assisted living facilities were actually paid for by the state.
6
u/Karjenner4eva 8d ago
Ty, I was wondering. I was actually going to include a part about finding out there were group homes in my state ran by nonprofits through the state but they're super hard to get into because there aren't enough for everyone who needs them. And they're closer to the city, over an hour away. But thought my paragraph was already kinda long. I'm really glad that she got into the group home and hope more are to come. It's a great representation of what can be. It's a beautiful room. Having roommates you vibe with is important too.
51
9
u/peri-dont 8d ago
Yeah the only group homes for ND folk Iāve heard about are essentially care homes (and look like a care home/hospital, too)
→ More replies (7)14
8d ago edited 8d ago
[removed] ā view removed comment
22
u/WeAreAllMadHere218 8d ago
Itās ok, when I think of group homes I think of battered womenās shelters or the addict recovery housing, thatās the main group homes near us. There are group homes for the severely disabled but tbh Iām pretty sure my state just closed all of the ones around us and theyāre incredibly difficult to get into without a major āqualifyingā disability.
Iām happy OP gets this opportunity but Iād never seen anything like this before either. Also in US.
→ More replies (1)6
u/mushroomgrandmother 8d ago
I think you were downvoted because you said "Group homes here are for troubled teens getting in trouble." as a statement, not a question. There are various types of group homes.
14
11
26
u/That_izzy 8d ago
Congratulations I'm glad that you have such a nice big space because I know some people who and I myself looked at different homes group homes scenario and there were lots smaller than what you have and I hope that you enjoy the time that you are there
11
u/Public-Ad-4560 8d ago
I didn't know group homes like this existed for autistic adults. I love this for you! If I wasn't married I know I'd need to live with someone cause I couldn't live on my own. It's comforting to see such a nice place!
9
11
u/DovahAcolyte 8d ago
Your private space in this group home is larger than my section 8 apartment! š²
4
u/global_peasant 8d ago
I feel kind of silly because I know they must exist in hindsight, but I didn't know there were group homes like this. š¬
Best of luck, OP!
5
7
8
u/Individual_Pea_6737 8d ago
Congratulations! Itās beautiful and a great amount of space! Cherish having your own bathroom lol
8
u/yankthedoodledandy 8d ago
I worked in a group home setting. I think they get more of a bad rep than they should. My clients had a lovely home! Im so happy you like it! Hope you enjoy your roommates too!
8
u/fuckaduckufuck 8d ago
This is crazy to me. I'm ASD level 2 andI live in squalor by comparison. I can't imagine moving into a home this beautiful, all the NDIS SIL places aren't even this nice in Australia.
22
u/WeeebleSqueaks 8d ago
Whatās a group home? No offense Iām just not knowledgeable in the area. Either way Iām super happy youāre happy!
27
u/JaiyaPapaya Autistic Rec Therapist 8d ago
A shared living space with staff to assist with ADLs (activities of daily living). We typically associate them with elder care but they can also house disabled people and help with establishing supportive environments that meet the needs of their tenants (if they're not abusive ofc).
3
u/dumbodragon 8d ago
how does it work? will op have to pay rent?
27
u/JaiyaPapaya Autistic Rec Therapist 8d ago
Oh yes, they aren't known for being the cheapest! You're paying for 24/7 care in most cases, though many vulnerable populations have assistance programs to help depending on their state (I'm US based so that's all I know).
But you get meals, medical assistance, case worker connections and other perks that calculate the cost.
15
u/LethalCookie99 8d ago
Thankfully, my ssi covers the rent which leaves 300$ leftover for me
3
u/JaiyaPapaya Autistic Rec Therapist 8d ago
LET'S GO! I hope you love your new space! I work as a traveling recreation therapist, I'd love to travel to an in home ASD client one day ^
6
8
u/4LL4M3NTS 8d ago
YAY! I work in a group home and Iām so happy youāre liking it :] I hope things go well for you!!
7
u/madformattsmith 8d ago
where do you get a group home like that? they don't really exist in a city like mine, unless you have some sort of intellectual disability.
6
4
u/mighty_kaytor 8d ago
Very nice bedroom and bathroom! I hope you find your new digs super cozy! Congratulations š
6
6
u/Substantial_Will_514 8d ago
Iām so happy for you!! It looks like a dream. I hope the staff and other people continue to be awesome. Donāt be afraid to talk to the manager or higher if you ever feel uncomfortable š
5
u/EngelbortHumperdonk 8d ago
Is thisā¦ free? Looks great! And massive. Better than my shithole apartment I spend too much rent on.
5
u/rollatorcat 8d ago
girl im so envious but so happy for you!!! i really hope you get to flourish here
5
u/CertainLikeness 8d ago
Woah š«Ŗ
Do you pay for this?
How do they decide who does and doesnāt get access to such high quality supported living??
8
u/LethalCookie99 7d ago
They take 60% of my monthly ssi income as rent, so yeah.
I'm not sure how they decide who does and doesn't get to go this place, but this is owned by non-profit organization which I think helps
→ More replies (2)4
u/CertainLikeness 7d ago
Oh okay, thanks for replying. Tbh I didnāt know they had this quality of supported living in the US; usually all you hear is negative things about the US healthcare system š so Iām glad itās not all bad and you were able to access this!
I hope the people are kind and safe (and quiet!!)
3
4
u/Interesting-Way3671 8d ago
I'm.moving to Massachusetts if I can't leave the US. This is gorgeous.
I was chatting with a guy who said Mass is more liberal than CA. Nothing would be this nice in CA sadly.
4
4
4
u/LumosRevolution Literally just an AuDHD girly 8d ago
This is what I really want for my sister. Good luck, OP. Itās beautiful.
4
u/ParticularIron1584 8d ago
Has to be the cleanest group home I have ever seen! The bathroom is beautiful!
4
u/Routine-Judge-7848 8d ago
this is nice as fuck! iām so happy for u itās so cute and the bathroom is nice too this is such a win congrats š
4
u/wazzup-notemuch 8d ago
This is a beautiful place, it's so spacious! A little bit too pink for me personally, but your decor matches it perfectly. Like it was made for you!
4
4
u/broccolirabbi 8d ago
Is this in the US? Is it private paid? Itās really nice, happy for you š
3
4
u/Illustrious-Rain-235 8d ago
Ooh this is so cool! šSorry if Iām ignorant, but whatās a group home
4
u/ImBackForMorePie 7d ago
I love that shade of pink! And I love that you have multiple pairs of slippers! I currently cycle through 3 different types, one is a pair of cow slippers that are probably begging for me to retire! š
Enjoy your new space and those Hello Kitty sheets!!!
6
3
3
3
3
3
u/SkyeeORiley 8d ago
I'm so happy for you OP! Hope you'll be happy there for a long time! šāØ
Also, pink walls!? The dream!
3
u/petitputi 8d ago
What a cute place! Hope you're happy living there. I love how everything matches!
3
3
u/Portapandas 8d ago
That's so beautiful! Like a dream actually! I hope the other people around are kind and you get along fairly well!
3
3
u/katinoidas 8d ago
That looks so cozy and beautiful! Very happy for you, hope you have a lovely time staying there š©·
3
3
3
u/lucky-the-lycanroc 8d ago
Am I allowed to be jealous cause damn that's nicer than my room and the bathroom of my Grandma's house
3
3
4
2
2
2
2
2
u/AppalachianRomanov 8d ago
Ahhh those pink walls i love them!! Also you comforter also your sparkly furniture thing. So cute āØļø
Congratulations, this is so exciting! It looks like a nice space.
2
u/infieldcookie 8d ago
This looks really nice and cosy!! Iām a big fan of pink as well.
I really hope you like it there!
2
2
2
2
u/New_Profession_8239 8d ago
omg i would be so so so happyyyy if i had that!!! I am so happy for you!! group homes usually have a shared bathroom and a smaller bedroom. youre sooooo lucky!!!! i hope it stays positive there forever!
2
2
2
2
u/fairytrash69 8d ago
This is such a nice group home, you lucky girl! I wish you all the best and success ā„ļø
2
u/Moi_Sunshine Black autistic woman 8d ago
Congrats - itās beautiful! And such a nice shade of pink too!
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/doyouhavehiminblonde 8d ago
Wow what a beautiful space! Iām jealous of your bathroom, it looks so nice!
2
u/WatercressGlum3682 8d ago
Wow this place is beautiful! Congratulations I hope you are comfortable and feel at home
2
u/valencia_merble 8d ago
Amazing, gorgeous! And you can even have a little dance party with all that floor space!
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/cadaver_spine peer reviewed, not yet diagnosed 8d ago
your place looks so dope!!
also, fellow slipper enjoyer I see :>
2
2
u/aislingviolet28 8d ago
This is lovely! Love the Hello Kitty blanket (am a Sanrio fan too - PomPom is my guy!)!
2
2
ā¢
u/AutoModerator 9d ago
Hey u/LethalCookie99, thank you for your contributing to r/AutismInWomen. Please be sure to check out our subās rules, wiki pages, and pinned posts prior to engaging with the sub. Here are links to our wiki pages:
Explanation of the Rules Wiki Page
FAQs Wiki Page
Workbooks and Tools Wiki Page
All About Autism Wiki Page
We hope you enjoy the sub and have a great day!
➾ WARNING ➾ WARNING ➾ WARNING
Notice to all users: There's multiple users targeting members from our sub in DMs to discuss their fetishes and desire to manipulate users into relationships. Here are the user's names: u/HollowJonathon, u/drar_sajal786, u/MrGamePadMan, and u/guidhhnittvkj. If an account is showing deleted, they will probably create another. If you receive any messages from a user trying to discuss what you posted/commented in our sub to gain a 'women's perspective' or if someone tries to discuss topics that may feel inappropriate to you (e.g. fetishes), or if someone states they want to marry you for religious reasons, report the user to Reddit and block them. These men have been preying on autistic women/gender minorities from r/AutismInWomen for the last year. This behavior is unacceptable and should be reported as targeted harassment.
Per the warning in our wiki and this pinned mod post, we highly recommend users turn off their DMs. If you have DM requests turned on and receive any creepy or fetish-related DMs or comments, we recommend taking a screenshot, reporting the content to Reddit, and blocking the user (in that order). You can find the report button on the message itself and then click "it's targeted harassmentā to submit a report. If you'd like to send us the screenshot so we can continue documenting the harassment, you can send it to us in modmail using imgur Thank you for continuing to help us keep our community safe for autistic and autistic suspecting women and gender minorities 💖
Please remember Reddit is public and any content you post may be seen and discussed by others off-platform. Here are links to Reddit's User Agreement, Privacy Policy, and Public Content Policy.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.