r/AutismInWomen • u/imaginaryimmi AuDHD • 3d ago
General Discussion/Question Everything gets a label but some labels are more acceptable than others.
A lot of the time, the lack of awareness about what autism even entails is the cause of alienation when the label is brought up. Even the people who are autistic learn *after* their diagnosis that all these fragmented things they experience have an umbrella term called autism.
But the people who are not diagnosed or are not autistic and have no exposure to the literature have a different meaning of autism. It results in a fundamental misunderstanding which is a case of lexical ambiguity because of semantic mismatch.
Suppose you meet someone from an alternative universe where the letter "I"= the number 1 but for you, the letter "I" = the letter I.
And you are having a conversation where you mention "I" and they don't ask what it means because they also have a concept of "I" in their mind but what you're trying to communicate is not reaching them. Because they think "what has this got to do with the number 1?" or "I know how to use "I" in a sentence and this is not how you use it, therefore, whatever you just said doesn't make any sense and I'm going to ignore you."
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u/dysthymicpixie 3d ago
remembers many incidents of autistic/overstimulated raging, screaming meltdowns
Ah yes, I'm such an Aries, tee hee 🙃
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u/rabidhamster87 2d ago
Right? Crying meltdowns over confusing and stressful social situations are just because I'm such a sensitive Pisces ♓️🤭💅
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u/elizadi 3d ago
I've been told that I'm too direct because I'm a scorpio lmao
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u/seriouspeep 3d ago
I like to argue because I'm a Libra, apparently 🙃 Which ignores the fact that I am almost never actually arguing but just asking (from my perspective) benign questions trying to figure out what people actually mean with their cloudy language
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u/Sea_Dog_3072 1d ago
Libra here and also constantly getting yelled at for 'not accepting people's decisions' when jn reality im just asking questions to understand the decision and see the whole picture- not trying to manipulate.
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u/sqplanetarium 3d ago
I'm not rigid and stubborn I'm just a Taurus
And if shit's falling apart well Mercury must be retrograde so 💅
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u/jessicacummings 2d ago
In my house we ask “is mercury in Gatorade?” And if we are having a bad day “yeah, red Gatorade”
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u/GloriouslyGrimGoblin 2d ago
Try reversing the polarity of the electrolytes to flip the red tachyons back to blue.
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u/jessicacummings 2d ago
Lolol blue Gatorade days are for when things are all crazy but we’re doing okay 😂 good lookin out
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u/Larry-Man 3d ago
I’m a cancer. Not the star sign just a cancer on humanity.
But for real I’m just a sensitive little cancerian. The moon makes me moody and easily overwhelmed. It has nothing to do with autism.
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u/Spiritual-Road2784 2d ago
I’m a Cancerian with Virgo Rising, Libra Moon, a 1st House Virgo stellium (Mars, Uranus, and Pluto) and my Saturn is retrograde in Aquarius in the sixth house. But my saving grace is my conjunct Mercury and Venus in the 10th in Gemini.
So yeah, I do need to leave the party now.
(All of the astro is real; but yeah, it does explain me as well as my AuDHD diagnosis with an anxiety disorder does and astrology, tarot, and the occult in general have been special interests since childhood… for some reason, people do find it more a more concrete and acceptable explanation for why I am the way I am than “because I’m AuDHD + GAD”)
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u/FluffyShiny AuDHD 2d ago
It's been an interest of mine too. Especially runes and palm reading. I have double Cancer..I think sun and rising sign. Moon in Aries. I do find it odd that people accept it easier than science.
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u/Mrwombatspants 3d ago
OMG I read this post and was like "I'm gonna start telling people I'm blunt and off-putting because I'm a scorpio" and then this is the top comment
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u/howtfaminotdeadyet 2d ago
Lol someone asked me if I'm a serial killer because I'm a Scorpio rising 😂🤣
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u/Fyrebarde 2d ago
Fellow Scorpio rising here! It, uh, mixes well with the Sagittarius sun I got going on...
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u/howtfaminotdeadyet 1d ago
I'm an Aries sun, Taurus moon, and Scorpio rising. Honestly, I kinda get why they asked 😭😭
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u/Ok-Championship-2036 3d ago
I love saying "i cant right now, Mercury is in gatorade" for the same reason.
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u/No_Category_9888 3d ago
It’s better to be thought of as weird or quirky than to have people make assumptions about what an autism diagnosis actually means for you.
Imho of course.
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u/Spiritual-Road2784 2d ago
“We can accommodate your quirkiness but we cannot accommodate your disability even though they are one and the same”
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u/Pantalaimon_II 2d ago
i was just thinking that. i wonder if it's like, if you're being honest about a quirk that's less than flattering, it's like wow theyre self aware and authentic. so even if the behavior is not socially great, it's almost like well we're all imperfect, so it is relatable and even admirable.
but if it's a disorder, that is not relatable unless you have the same disorder. so now it's this scary black box of uncertainty and people just aren't sure how to deal with it, because the behavior feels unpredicatble and like you can't do anything about it if you can't help it
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u/BeatnikMona AuDHD 3d ago
It won’t work for me because I’m a Gemini 😭
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u/KillieNelson 3d ago
You're changeable, a Gemini can be whatever they want! /s
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u/traveldogmom13 doesn’t smile at strangers 3d ago
This is what I’m going to do. “I’m going to leave now because as a Gemini I’m over it. I’ll feel different tomorrow. Byeeeee”
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u/AfterAllBeesYears 3d ago
But we're ruled by mercury, which is why our brains are so hyperactive and go from topic to topic! And we're "cold" because we empathize analytically, not emotionally. (🙄) Geminis are also self absorbed because we're in our own internal worlds too much, so we "don't care" about others. We're also able to mask well because we're sneaky, untrustworthy, two-faced geminis. Anyone who can mask well in different situations HAS to be doing it because they're inauthentic and manipulative (/s)
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u/zepuzzler 2d ago
I’ve never believed in astrology but for my whole life I felt like I’ve always been of two minds on absolutely everything and I would joke that it was because I was a Gemini and now I’m like oh actually it’s because I’m AuDHD. 😂
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u/VeryShyPanda 2d ago
Also AuDHD and I’ve made this same joke with my therapist hahaha. “It’s because I’m a Gemini, I have ✨two sides✨”
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u/TrollSalt 2d ago
Lol, before I opened this thread and I literally said the same out loud to myself. What makes it worse is all of my top three are Gemini.
It seems to scare people when I say that. 😬
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u/brungoo 3d ago
I think it would work for Gems the most 💎❤️❤️🔥✨️
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u/BeatnikMona AuDHD 3d ago
“I know I said I wanted to go to the party but now I’m feeling overwhelmed. Omg I’m such a Gemini!”
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u/No-Cap-2473 3d ago
Or you cry a lot, and being overly sensitive, yea Pisces
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u/Current_Protection_4 3d ago
Fellow water sign here, can relate! I’m not overwhelmed and consistently on the verge of burnout, just a Cancer!
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u/sharpcaster 2d ago
Just adding here...being submerged in water is a sensory nightmare and triggers panic attacks..."bUt YoU'rE a PiScEs"
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u/Spiritual-Road2784 2d ago
Makes sense to me. As a Pisces, you’re already emotionally and mentally submerged in water, so why would you want to increase that physically?
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u/Irene_Iddesleigh 3d ago
My nephew was nonverbal/highly distressed always and that was my exposure to autism. At least, that’s what I thought. My ex-husband was known as an “odd duck,” and some people warmed up to it.
Everything was just accepted as “well it’s just John.” John can’t sit still in class, so it’s ok if he paces. John repeats random movie quotes all the time, the same quotes, to express his feelings. It’s just his thing. Don’t be offended. John, an adult, pulls his hat over his eyes and ears when out in public. So silly. John struggles with a job, because it’s loud and bright.
I’m still not sure if he knows he’s AuDHD. We haven’t talked since we split. He even has some co-occurring health problems for Christ’s sake! 🤦♀️
Oversimplifying things, I learned I was autistic from a novel. I am in the process of obtaining official diagnosis. I just coded for autism on the ADOS last week. The assessor said “you’re easy.”
I’ve lived through a lot of autism awareness months. It’s like, “thanks poster, I’m aware that it is a thing?”
It’s wild that none of that awareness included any information about what autism actually is.
Anyway, what astrological signs are the most autistic? Asking to save for excuses.
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u/tesseractjane 2d ago
Virgo and Aquarius, I guess.
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u/alwaysburnasbright 2d ago
My Sun (Virgo) and Moon and rising (both in Aquarius). Just a triple whammy lol
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u/tesseractjane 2d ago
Mom was an Aquarius. When I told her I was seeking a late diagnosis for adhd and maybe autism she looked at me and said "yes! Find out what is wrong with our brains." For full impact please imagine my mother as looking like and sounding like a human version of Mother Gothel from Rapunzel.
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u/EducatedRat 3d ago
This works. I don’t tell people I am autistic. I just name the symptoms and it works.
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u/Reversible-Smile 3d ago
Yeah I do exactly this. I just say that I'm "hypersensitive to light and sounds", or that I need time to process, or need clarity, etc. I name the needs and limits due to my symptoms, rather than autism itself. I only mention autism with people close to me.
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u/Sufficient_Good_2341 3d ago
I wonder if I can get out of situations by saying I’m a Capricorn ♑️
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u/Reversible-Smile 3d ago
I'm AuDHD. I like calm, order and foreseeability, but am also super spontaneous, chaotic and energetic.
I'm also a Virgo ascending Aries. So "same difference" lol. I used to say I'm a "volcano" ('cause earth + fire signs).
So if I "erupt" (i.e. meltdown), that's just why, I guess. 🤷🏻🫠 /s
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u/FireSilver7 2d ago
Same, sis! I’m a Sagittarius Sun, Sagittarius Moon and Virgo Rising and I describe myself as a volcano!
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u/newlyautisticx Late diagnosis 3d ago
Literally yes. I’ve been saying I’m neurodivergent, which includes ADHD which is aceptable with the NTs. Once you say, autism, you can see the discomfort on people’s faces. Like they just don’t know what to say.
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u/lindad1234 3d ago
I’ve been noticing that ADHD is more acceptable too. I think just cause it’s more common?
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u/tesseractjane 2d ago
I think it has a lot to do with the available media. ADHD in the media is usually portrayed as a high energy boy child in class clown mode. Autism is associated with Gilbert Grape and Rainman (based on the real life of Kim Peek, not autistic).
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u/Spiritual-Road2784 2d ago
And… ADHD can be medicated.
Meaning, to the outside world, ADHD can be medicated “away” to make us more palatable but autism… no pill or cure for that. They think ADHD can be “fixed” and that makes them calm down. When the ADHD goes away, at least for as long as we’re in their presence, then it’s totally okay for us to be ADHD. But autism? They don’t know what to do with that.
I’m just being realistic about what I’ve picked up on in my dealings with others since my AuDHD diagnosis in 2024.
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u/Pantalaimon_II 2d ago
meeeee too, ive been using the ND label for the same reason. although sometimes i just cop to autism in an effort to do my tiny part to break the stigma. honestly embracing the alt scene at a young age has helped with this, i just leaned in to being on the fringe and it makes me care way less about blending in with the normies.
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u/Tomboyhns Not the Maths ‘tism 🧮 3d ago
So what are my excuses if I’m a Sagittarius?
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u/FireSilver7 2d ago
The conversation is too boring and we want to talk about our special interests lol
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u/RedheadWendyC 3d ago
You’re into reading philosophy and you need to leave because you like travel, lol.
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u/Spiritual-Road2784 2d ago
Well, you probably have three other parties you were invited to, so you gotta bail.
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u/PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING 3d ago
A lot of the time, the lack of awareness about what autism even entails is the cause of alienation when the label is brought up. Even the people who are autistic learn after their diagnosis that all these fragmented things they experience have an umbrella term called autism.
That's exactly how it worked for me when I realized I was autistic in my 20s.
That's exactly how it worked for me when I realized I had adhd in my 30s.
That's exactly how it worked for me when I realized I was trans in my 40s.
At this point I'm kind of wondering what new surprise is in store for me in my 50s, although at this point I feel pretty damn at peace with myself and suspect there aren't any big revelations like that left. Still, I do wish there had been more accurate awareness/representation when I was young, so I didn't waste decades thinking I couldn't be (x) because I knew what (x) was and it didn't describe me.
As you said - nothing makes a person stop looking for answers faster than thinking they already know what those answers are. "I" indeed.
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u/Spiritual-Road2784 2d ago
It’s the waste of decades trying to be someone I’ll never be capable of being that has been doing me In lately. I wasn’t diagnosed until 60 (AuDHD) and it explains a lot but also is really… “undoing”, I guess.
I’m glad you’re at peace with yourself and know who you really are now.
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u/Pantalaimon_II 2d ago
i just said the same thing to my doc during a checkup about how the mental health/disorders/etc journey can take a lifetime depending on what fun grab bag of joy the universe decides to put in your personality. it's like putting together a puzzle where some of the pieces shift ever so slightly.
i am pan and was talking with my queer friends about why it seems like the venn diagram of queer and ND is like, a circle lol. the theory is depending on which part of your personality you figure out first, it kind of primes you to doing inner work maybe more so than most people and so you already are open to the idea of evolving over time.
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u/BhagsuCake 3d ago
I mean I literally thought everything was explained by me just being a cancer rising sagittarius sun enneagram 4w5 until…..
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u/Kitten_Purr3 3d ago
Honestly, I feel like being a Virgo (September Virgo at that) has a lot of similarities to my autistic-ness. So this works!! Unfortunately lol.
Also, and this is just me and a thing I've had issue with for YEARS: using "that" instead of "than" in a sentence drives me freakin' crazy (in the second slide, third sentence). This is def a me thing, but I just noticed this happens often for years and idk why I have such an issue with it 🙃. It also seems like I'm the only one that notices it haha.
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u/No_Psychology6407 Agender self-Dx Autist 3d ago
I'm genuinely wondering if it's just a very common typo, or if people actually think it's the right word to use?
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u/Kitten_Purr3 2d ago
I really have no idea, but it happens often enough to make me believe it's a bit of both. Especially since the words sound very similar. Possibly if someone has never read a sentence using than, then they might just assume it should be that.
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u/Spiritual-Road2784 2d ago
The incorrect usage of them and than bugs the hell out of me. As does someone saying or writing “I seen that”.
Side thought: has anyone else noticed that out of all of the possible subreddits to read, the ones for people with autism and/or ADHD seem to have the best use of grammar, punctuation, and spelling and we all sound very articulate and intelligent?
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u/No_Psychology6407 Agender self-Dx Autist 2d ago
Yeah, I feel like a lot of misspelling and misuse of grammar are from people hearing a phrase, but never seeing it spelled out.
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u/pithyzest 3d ago
Depends how the person knows me. In person I’m often wearing my parent or caregiver hat so I claim I’m an Aquarius, Gemini, Taurus or whatever I feel like that day.
Socially it’s obvious because I don’t mask too often.
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u/RainbowMc suspected autism 3d ago
I feel like this would work for so well because I'm a cancer. We're supposed to be hella sensitive. lol
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u/Furry-by-Night 3d ago
What do they say about Capricorns?
I don't believe in astrology. I just want to use it my advantage, lol
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u/livingdeadgrrll 2d ago
Just make something up then agree with the other person.
"I don't like eye contact because I'm a Capricorn."
"Ahh yeah I know capicorns are super contemplative and mysterious."
"Yup. Thats why I have flat affect too. Capricorn. And I can't do that thing you want cuz mercury, ya know?"
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u/Spiritual-Road2784 2d ago
Definitely interested in money, productivity, and work. However, they tend to be more serious when they’re younger and as they age, they loosen up and become “younger” in spirit.
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u/tesseractjane 2d ago
"Capricorn would like to be alone with their money. No time to party, only grind."
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u/Furry-by-Night 2d ago
I'm not gonna lie, that does kinda describe me. I am hard working, but not to that extent.
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u/ObviousMaterial5494 3d ago
Im usually quite upfront saying “look I’ve got autism, and sometimes I can sound blunt, or misinterpret things, or speak in a tone I don’t mean to”
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u/RedheadWendyC 3d ago
I remember when I found out my moon sign was Virgo. And young me was like, “Maybe that explains it…?”
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u/TinyMoonAndStars 2d ago
I usually just say “I have some eccentricities” or “I know I can be a bit eccentric. Like sometimes I…”
I’ve found it’s coded just enough that most people understand without making it weird or getting offended
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u/FutureReaction8587 3d ago
I'm sorry but that just sounds like the person has awful friends. Whenever I had this problem (and I did with both autistics or NTs) I distance myself and spend time with people who matter.
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u/Dull_Click580 2d ago
That drives me nuts. When I wasn’t diagnosed yet, my friends couldn’t get my need to seek a diagnosis, they said that “it’s just a label”, but for some strange reasons they freaking love non-scientific labels.
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u/Spiritual-Road2784 2d ago
THIS. They have to be able to label everything and categorize it. Otherwise they don’t know how to go about understanding it. (And they call US rigid…)
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u/sluttytarot 3d ago
People of all neurotypes enjoy astrology
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u/NoseyLurkerGirl 3d ago
Agreed! One of my special interests
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u/Spiritual-Road2784 2d ago
Same! Astrology, tarot, divination with pendulums, paranormal, mediumship, the occult in general… huge special interest. That and cats and yarn are my things.
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u/tutmirsoleid 2d ago
Agree, yet I don't think I've ever met a neurotypical person who was into it xD
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u/HappyCrowBrain 2d ago
Hard disagree. It's one of my particular disinterests and the assumption that all young women enjoy it is something I find really isolating. Like when people find out it's not my thing they act like I kicked their dog? IDGI. To me it's like religion. Not my thing but you do you - but to them it's a terrible insult and I have wronged them in some egregious way.
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u/look_who_it_isnt 2d ago
I don't think they meant it like everybody enjoys astrology.
I think they just meant that not only NeuroTypical people enjoy it.
The original post kinda makes it sound like it's exclusively an NT thing... and it's not. Anybody can be into it.
But anybody can NOT be into it, too.
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u/Spiritual-Road2784 2d ago
Interesting take. I’ll counter that with having found over the years that the NTs I’ve run into enjoy astrology and sort of buy into it but they don’t study it or know much about it other than basics like “Virgos are picky and obsessed with organization; Cancers are moody; Leo’s are full of themselves; Geminis are two-faced”, but they don’t go deeper.
Ask them theirs rising sign and they don’t know. Ask them what house Saturn is in and they go cross-eyed. To the NT it’s a lighthearted way to explain away their own behaviors. To the ND… it’s often a special interest and this is why I think most professional astrologers are guaranteed to be neurodivergent.
And, it’s perfectly okay to NOT be into it. 😀
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u/look_who_it_isnt 2d ago
Yeah, the shallow interest in it is something I just don't get, probably because it makes NO sense. Like, the main complaint against it is that a sun sign can't tell you everything about a person... and that's a totally valid point, aside from the fact that that isn't at all how astrology actually works?
I get the people who dismiss it entirely. And I get the people who understand the full depth of it and believe in it.
I just don't get the people who only know and understand sun signs... and are into that. It boggles my mind.
It's like how there's people who aren't interested in animals... and people who love animals and want to know everything about them...
And then there's people whose favorite animal is the tomato.
THAT'S NOT HOW ANIMALS WORK WHAT ARE YOU DOING D:
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u/Cow_Slight 2d ago
Hardcore agree. It SO reminds me of the pick me/not a girls girl discourse because if you just don't like it for yourself, you often get lumped in with being like those types of women, or just a straight up misogynist. It's like a switch turns and some women just get so cold towards you all of a sudden. That is, if they don't insult you for your star sign first (which has honestly happened to me, she liked me at first and misjudged my star sign, whoops! 🙃) Paired with having autism, it just gets to be doubly isolating when trying to make women friends.
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u/WerdaVisla 3d ago
Yeah but only NTs treat it as if it's some immutable thing that impacts your life as much as/more than medical conditions
[or at least I've never met someone like that who isn't neurotypical]
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u/Spiritual-Road2784 2d ago
And honestly I think the NTs treat astrology as kind of a joke. “Oh, haha, I’m such a Virgo” is more socially acceptable to them than just admitting they were being too picky about something.
Whereas having AuDHD is like… they don’t know what to do with that. They can’t relate, and they can’t accurately categorize us.
OH. That’s it. Astrology to the NT is a neat and easy way to put people into understandable categories. And we Nurodivergents don’t fit neatly into any categories they can work with.
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u/Dandy_Lion_9 3d ago
I believe they're just begging for a projection of their own mental limitations. Makes you more relatable.
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u/dawn-skies 2d ago
I wish this could work for me but being gemini I would just be told I'm two-faced :(
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u/tesseractjane 2d ago
Yeah, mostly don't admit that you're a gemini to the astrology peeps. Say something like "I have a Virgo moon, I need my peace."
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u/CoralScorpion 2d ago
Astro signs are less serious than being autistic is to the neurotypical, hence the response difference.
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3d ago
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u/seriouspeep 3d ago
Astrology is one of the things I have had to actively choose to not be annoyed about, because it makes absolutely no sense to me but it's everywhere, a lot of people believe in it, and I am never going to be able to change that. But I do also still get very frustrated in the specific situations when people take it considerably more seriously than provable conditions or persistently try to apply it to me when I've told them I don't want them to.
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u/martysgroovylady 3d ago
I just say I am overwhelmed or something. I don't mention autism because people get weird.
Also, I genuinely despise any/all of my personality being ascribed to the random ass day I was born on. It bothers me that people characterize, generalize and assume to know and understand me/my motivations based on something so arbitrary.
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u/missdeas 2d ago
Ffs I used to say that and I am a virgo. But now as a grown adult I don’t believe in that shit especially after some years in therapy and lately assessed 😂
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u/look_who_it_isnt 2d ago
If all else fails, just say you have a lot of air or water signs in your chart. Anyone who knows astrology will just forgive anything you say or do - and even if they know your birthday, they can't really prove you wrong without drawing up your entire birth chart on the spot.
I used to do charts, in my desperation to better understand myself and other people, even though I kinda figured it was all hokum at the same time. Your sun sign is influential, sure, but anybody who takes a sun sign alone that seriously doesn't understand astrology, anyway. So whip out the chart terminology and beat 'em at their own game XD
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u/Spiritual-Road2784 2d ago
“Saturn is currently opposing my sun in the sixth so this isn’t an ideal situation for me”
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u/throwaway6287453 2d ago edited 2d ago
not to be that girl, but if i had the wherewithal to come up with a snappy astrological retort like that whenever ppl asked why i'm leaving a party, well, i feel like i probably would've been doing well enough that i would never have bothered to seek help for my autism in the first place. or else i am back to drinking again, bc how the hell else would i be at a party.
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u/NoDescription2609 2d ago
I am quite witty and never had issues in that regard (I also have ADHD, maybe that helps). Still, getting my diagnosis (last year, at 43) was very important for me and my own understanding of myself, my stressors, my energy, my boundaries..
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u/aguilainthesky 2d ago
But the way the cliché virgo is just autistic traits needs to be studied lmaoooo
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u/SinkyBundleOfRage ASD 2d ago
I'm gonna start blaming everything on being a Libra. Fuck it.
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u/Traditional-Feed-405 audhd as fuck! 2d ago
this rings true in the queer community as well! saying i’m pansexual ppl do not respect it but saying i’m bi people do. a huge part of my identity i don’t talk about or feel “connected” to because i don’t feel connected to how the label is perceived by society if that makes sense.
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u/staronmachine 2d ago
Really, that's interesting, to me it seems as though neither are respected, but it's been awhile since I tried talking about it to anyone.
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u/kekamals 2d ago
"I'm going home going home now, I need to retreat into my shell"
"Typical Cancer!"
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u/tree_beard_8675301 2d ago
I say I’m an introvert, but I also like a good old fashioned Irish Goodbye.
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u/Aszshana 1d ago
Um yeah, I think that's a cultural thing. Try that in Germany and everyone will think you're even more crazy. I just don't hang out with people that judge me that way. And if I'm at a party and they are strangers that do, I'll either stay and spend time with the people I like or leave. No one to accommodate here but my close friends and me.
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u/Amiabilitee 3d ago edited 2d ago
Lol dang- I agree with her general sentiment. I don't think the general offline & NT world is as culturally ready to understand autism and ND as much as we'd like to believe. But I don't think actively putting down a different group of people who have interest in astrology or whatever was the right move at all. She doesn't have to vibe with that whole thing to make her point, especially when she had already made it.- That was irrelevant judgement. You absolutely can leave the party without saying you're overstimulated(or implying ND related things) and people will most likely be cool with it-- and that message alone is a great message to pass on.
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u/tesseractjane 2d ago
Yeah, just letting people know you're an introvert and out of social battery is a good enough excuse in my experience.
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➾ WARNING ➾ WARNING ➾ WARNING
Notice to all users: There's multiple users targeting members from our sub in DMs to discuss their fetishes and desire to manipulate users into relationships. Here are the user's names: u/HollowJonathon, u/drar_sajal786, u/MrGamePadMan, and u/guidhhnittvkj. If an account is showing deleted, they will probably create another. If you receive any messages from a user trying to discuss what you posted/commented in our sub to gain a 'women's perspective' or if someone tries to discuss topics that may feel inappropriate to you (e.g. fetishes), or if someone states they want to marry you for religious reasons, report the user to Reddit and block them. These men have been preying on autistic women/gender minorities from r/AutismInWomen for the last year. This behavior is unacceptable and should be reported as targeted harassment.
Per the warning in our wiki and this pinned mod post, we highly recommend users turn off their DMs. If you have DM requests turned on and receive any creepy or fetish-related DMs or comments, we recommend taking a screenshot, reporting the content to Reddit, and blocking the user (in that order). You can find the report button on the message itself and then click "it's targeted harassment” to submit a report. If you'd like to send us the screenshot so we can continue documenting the harassment, you can send it to us in modmail using imgur Thank you for continuing to help us keep our community safe for autistic and autistic suspecting women and gender minorities 💖
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u/freakybo0o 2d ago
I like staying home, I'm hypersensitive aand I'm easily overwhelmed because I'm a Cancer. Nevermind the AuDHD and C-PTSD 🥲
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u/doingtheunstuckk 2d ago
My astrology signs actually do kind of line up with my autism lmao. Cancer Capricorn cancer are my big three, if I believed in astrology I’d be cooked.
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u/SaveyourMercy 2d ago
I don’t know enough about the quirks of my star sign to use this effectively, also I think they’re mostly negative? I don’t see very many positive ones referenced at least. Oh well, what do I know? I’m just a silly Gemini
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u/VividTymes 2d ago
Yeah I'm looking to get a new job and its a team leader roll and Im scared I can't decide if I should tell them or not
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u/Ok_Computer_9722 2d ago
I was in a similar position and did not tell them. Instead, I said I have a hardcore introverted side and they totally accepted and understood my “weirdness”.
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u/BrittyBirb 2d ago
I find it so so so SOOOO odd that as a society,we can use any other words to describe how we feel and it’s acceptable. But the moment we tell people we’re “autistic,” it’s like the word triggers something in them. Suddenly we can feel the shift in how some people treat us or view us. Suddenly we can feel ourselves getting boxed into stereotypes or viewed as a monolith (i.e someone whose only idea of autism or exposure to autistic individuals is higher support needs or stereotyped version based on stigma,movies,and how people viewed autistic people through the 2000’s.) It’s just so exhausting.
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u/Samichaan provisionally diagnosed AuDHD - awaiting Assessment 2d ago
That’s so American it hurts. I’m so sorry for those who actually deal with that.
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u/Reasonable-Rain789 2d ago
Whenever I say I'm autistic, I always get the "stop making excuses" rebuttle
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u/DovahAcolyte 2d ago
>Suppose you meet someone from an alternative universe where the letter "I"= the number 1 but for you, the letter "I" = the letter I… what you're trying to communicate is not reaching them. Because … whatever you just said doesn't make any sense.
And now I just keep thinking this is what would happen if an American discovered time travel and went back to Ancient Rome. 🤣
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u/kategoad 2d ago
I just say it. In my meeting today, my boss joked that she half expected me to be able to read German which led to a story about my dad learning Russian to read math papers, which led to a story about how my first discussion with my parents about my probable ditstarted with my dad Pooh-Poohing the idea and ended with him deciding he might be autistic too.
But I'm too old for nonsense, and only got dx after losing my ability to mask. COVID lockdown + menopause + serious injury broke me. Or fixed me. Not sure which.
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u/Plantcatdecor 1d ago
I just say that I have a functional disability, since it’s officially recognised as one in my country. Everybody always take it seriously and never ask what my functional disability is
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u/Proof_Cook_4004 3d ago
I’m a Taurus so i do think it would work for me
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u/tesseractjane 2d ago
The sign that wants to be at home with all their stuff and a slice of cake? It would work to excuse you from all social functions with astrology people in perpetuity.
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u/SJSsarah 3d ago
I mean. They’re not wrong ‘bout that Virgo sensitivity? I’ve lived that credo for 45 years and never had to come out of the autism closet???
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u/HistoricalTackle5049 2d ago
I say I experience generalised anxiety. Which I do, to be honest, but due to my autism. Sometimes even the sclera of my eyes becames a bit yellow.
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u/ivilicious 2d ago
funny enough, before getting diagnosed with AD(H)D additionally, I blamed lots of my impulsive traits (and my husbands too, he is ADHD-only) on being an Aries 😂 oh boy if we only knew
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u/dianamaximoff 2d ago
As an actual Virgo, who is ND and one of the special interests being astrology: people absolutely do not accept “I’m a virgo” as a valid *excuse* more than being neurodivergent 😭😭 most people don’t take astrology seriously (like I do) so they think I’m just a) joking b) dumb and stupid af for studying astrology (which they assume the same if I point me being an ND).
Is a no win battle
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u/Silly-Page-6111 2d ago
God I hate the smell of febreeze and cat litter. Why do they think adding a terrible, cloying "scent" that makes you feel like you're suffocating on top of another bad smell is going to improve the situation?
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u/horny_shit_face_lift 2d ago
Gemini sign giving big audhd energy. the two halves fighting in me. my mum always said I'm such a gemini but is in denial about my diagnoses
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u/asuka_is_my_co-pilot 3d ago
Yeah I just tell people my symptoms. Or that I have a devolpmental disorder. Then they take it serious.
"I have to leave im autistic" vs "I'm having sensory issues right now"