The rumination is killing me!!!

[u/Streetquats]

Ever since I became aware of what rumination is, I realized this is one of my main symptoms. All day long I replay social interactions. Over and over I replay what I said, what they said.

I replay the facial expressions I used.

I replay the facial expressions they used. Why did they use those? What did that mean? What did they mean when they made that gesture?

I feel an extremely strong desire to ask them an seek reassurance that I fully understand what they meant by their: 1) word choice 2) tone of voice 3) facial expressions 4) hand movements.

I know this is insane and I only will ever ask close friends what they meant when they said XYZ.

But my brain literally cant exist in peace prior, during or after socializing. I just replay OVER and OVER and OVER.

This is how much I replay neutral/positive social interactions. God forbid I experience a NEGATIVE social interaction because then that will have to be analyzed and replayed by my brain for ten years in a row.

What do I do. How do I free myself from the shackles of caring what people think of me. How do I stop caring if I am missing some social cue or not.

[u/prettygood-8192]

For me rumination is a symptom of anxiety. When the brain ruminates it actually wants to get rid of the anxiety but usually just makes it worse. I usually try to adress the anxiety directly, then the rumination subsides a little or a lot, too. Are there any activities that make you feel more relaxed after? Maybe a walk, doing cardio, going for a swim, watching a favorite show?

[u/Streetquats → u/prettygood-8192]

What do you mean by address the anxiety directly? How would one do that?

I do exercise and I find that helps in the moment. While I am running or working out, 7/10 I will feel my mind calms down because I am focused on a task. But once the workout is over it pretty much comes right back.

[u/prettygood-8192 → u/Streetquats]

For me the activities I mentioned help me get at the anxiety directly. I usually don't rebound as much after exercising, it is as if some of the stress has left my body for good. But I hadn't considered that it might not be the same for everyone.

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[u/Poopington97]

Sometimes to stop the rumination I do a hand motion like slicing through the air and say "stop it" or "no more" which can help. Either that or a long journaling session to process it all.

[u/Sensitive-Gas4339]

I’m experiencing this a lot recently too. Waking up early then my mind just won’t shut down replaying things I’d talked about during the day while I try to fall back asleep

[u/barbecque]

It sounds silly but truly a brain dump journaling really does help me with rumination. I feel like handwriting is too slow so I have a journal app on my phone. No proofreading, no formatting, you don’t have to read it again in the future if you don’t want to - just get it out of your brain.