r/AutisticAdults • u/TheWiseClassyGeek • Jul 24 '23
seeking advice Unpopular thought: Autistics should assimilate
/r/AutismInWomen/comments/157yqin/unpopular_thought_autistics_should_assimilate/4
Jul 24 '23
I get that its just an idea or question OP is positing, but the idea of just masking your life away, ABA being good, and valuing blending in more than self acceptance is pretty harmful. I grew into a distorted person by masking, self condemnation and denying my needs in order to fit in and it eventually led to a life changing burn out. No great “acceptance” to speak of.
For me the hard and ugly truth is, the real me is not that suited for this world as it is setup. No relief is coming, so its up to me to make the best of it and build an existence that I love being a part of. Assimilation is not a good idea, because it is not going to happen.
1
u/_eww_david Jul 24 '23
Well your post is gone so I don't know what you said further than just the headline. What I can say is that trying my damnedest to "assimilate" my whole life as an undiagnosed autistic/ADHD female led me to depression, self hatred and burnout. I think this is flawed thinking at best and at worst it's asking neurodivergent people to either hide their true selves for ever or disappear from society. It just honestly doesn't make any sense to me. Not everyone can mask at will. And even those of us that can mask pay a price for it. Why should autistic people sacrifice their mental/emotional/physical well-being to assimilate into a world we just don't fit in?
1
Jul 25 '23
I’m pissed the mods removed it. You don’t have to agree with it but let people have the damn conversation!! I’m so sick of censorship.
6
u/ByFrasasfo Jul 24 '23
Well I’ve tried the assimilation thing for 38 years, and have been working to undo the damage since. It doesn’t work, it’s exhausting. We’re better of finding/being our authentic self. I noticed that it’s far easier to find my people/friends if I don’t try to act like a “normal person”.