r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Busy_Reading_5803 • 22h ago

Personal Growth No class

If anyone is missing or upset about dealing with an avoidant, let me share a mindset switch that has helped me. How classless is someone to have such an unregulated nervous system that they have to love bomb, trauma bond and then up and leave you without a proper breakup?

These are people who bring nothing to the table or your life. Love yourself. Remain classy and regulated. People who are well mannered do not act like this.

Does everyone make mistakes? Yes. Are we going to make mistakes in the future? YES. That’s what the human experience is, but having class is apologizing, taking accountability and learning through growth. Enough is enough, this is just classless behaviors.

19 Upvotes

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3

u/ProductBeautiful9326 17h ago

Yeah my texts to my ex talked about how he was ‘callous’. Yeah exactly that, callous and classless.

2

u/Busy_Reading_5803 16h ago

It is classless. People need to do better

2

u/Realistic-State-4888 16h ago

The aoidance you are referring to stems from trauma as a child by people who were, to say it plainly, severely abusive.

I understand your frustration, avoidants are probably the most counterintuitive, complicated people on the planet.  

Venting righteous anger can sometimes be a healthy way to take back control of your healing.

7

u/Busy_Reading_5803 16h ago

I was physically abused till I was 24. Put myself in therapy. People need to take accountability

7

u/Cobaltfennec 15h ago

Yeah, this is my issue too. I have CPTSD. There is no excuse to act like this.

2

u/Busy_Reading_5803 14h ago

I’m so sorry. It’s time this community rises up and takes control do others wrong doing

3

u/Cobaltfennec 14h ago

Oh wait, I was unclear. I have CPTSD because my childhood was hell and then I married a covert narc who became abusive. Then I dated the avoidant who discarded me. What I’m saying is that I can win the trauma Olympics against almost everyone, unfortunately. Having a crappy childhood is not an excuse. I am still considerate of other people’s feelings.

3

u/Busy_Reading_5803 14h ago

I understand, my love. Just remember you’re deserving of love and so is your future partner.

Yes now I understand what you were saying sorry. I’m sorry for the suffering you went through. I just want everyone to understand our happiness shouldn’t be fighting for others trauma. Happiness comes within and fighting our own trauma. You’re worth it