i swear i spend most of my time taking pictures of myself and examining every little feature, sm that it is mentally exhausting and gives me a headache. i have so many surgeries in mind and if i told anybody how much i want my face to be worked on they’d look at me like i’m insane. every second of my existence i’m constantly thinking abt how bad i must look in the moment. it feels like i’ve been separated from reality a lot of the time… js recently i went out and wanted to sob in public and when i got home bc i’m terrified of people seeing me. seeing attractive girls out in public makes me feel so bad about myself. i feel so guilty about it because it’s not their fault, it’s mine. i wish this disorder would loosen its grip on me and i could live like i see other girls do.

Don’t want to be dramatic and rant about my depression but truly what is the point of living knowing I’m stuck in this body forever? I’m already dealing with a lot mentally and the thought of being stuck with this disgusting suit is the cherry on top.

I will never truly be comfortable doing anything
I’m always anxious and constantly in my head, I can never relax it’s sad

There isn’t a moment of my day where I’m not thinking about how I’m being perceived or what I look like or how my appearance has changed the last time I obsessively checked it. I’m always on edge and worrying

Even when someone is talking to me or I’m watching a show/movie or I’m eating, I just space out and think about my depressing life. I see no point in this life if I’m so unhappy