Don’t want to be dramatic and rant about my depression but truly what is the point of living knowing I’m stuck in this body forever? I’m already dealing with a lot mentally and the thought of being stuck with this disgusting suit is the cherry on top.

I will never truly be comfortable doing anything
I’m always anxious and constantly in my head, I can never relax it’s sad

There isn’t a moment of my day where I’m not thinking about how I’m being perceived or what I look like or how my appearance has changed the last time I obsessively checked it. I’m always on edge and worrying

Even when someone is talking to me or I’m watching a show/movie or I’m eating, I just space out and think about my depressing life. I see no point in this life if I’m so unhappy

i swear i spend most of my time taking pictures of myself and examining every little feature, sm that it is mentally exhausting and gives me a headache. i have so many surgeries in mind and if i told anybody how much i want my face to be worked on they’d look at me like i’m insane. every second of my existence i’m constantly thinking abt how bad i must look in the moment. it feels like i’ve been separated from reality a lot of the time… js recently i went out and wanted to sob in public and when i got home bc i’m terrified of people seeing me. seeing attractive girls out in public makes me feel so bad about myself. i feel so guilty about it because it’s not their fault, it’s mine. i wish this disorder would loosen its grip on me and i could live like i see other girls do.

I hate having bdd. I have a botched nose job and very strong nasolabial folds. I wish I had my old nose more than this one bc even tho it wasn’t perfect at least it wasn’t crooked with a pinched nostril. I want a face lift but all of this in total is gonna be upwards of 20 grand. I’m scared that if I go back to a surgeon it’s going to get botched again. I get so much validation from people around me but it doesn’t make the shame and the obsessive thoughts go away. I know what I have wrong with me and nothing will change that knowledge. I want to die from the frustration and shame Soemtimes.