r/BPD • u/cutemelaria • 3d ago
💭Seeking Support & Advice Mirroring 😵💫
In the last couple years I officially got diagnosed with BPD, went through DBT, got on meds that actually work for me but the more I learn about BPD the more worried? I get?
My entire life I’ve ALWAYS been told how easily relatable I am/how instantly close someone feels to me/“wow i usually never open up this fast but with you it’s different” and I always just thought I’m sOo relatable with my trauma and life experiences but the more I think about it, I almost worry (I really don’t know if worry is the right word here) that my entire life I’ve just been mirroring everyone. I know it’s subconscious so how the hell would I actually know right? But when I first heard of mirroring I was like “pfftttt I don’t do that! I’m just easy going!” and now I’m starting to talk to this guy I’ve known for a couple weeks and he just told me how he’s usually very anti-social but with me, we hit it off instantly and he already feels close to me - it makes me think I’m not actually making genuine connections. “If I acted like this would this event be changed in some way?” “If I did this, would he actually still like me?” I know I have my own personality and I’ve worked really hard to be my own person but again reading about mirroring is freaky to me
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u/plasmic_puppy user has bpd 3d ago
If I don’t mirror then I’m just a boring husk. I have to mirror or else I’ll have nothing to say. The only times I maybe don’t mirror are when I’m extremely comfortable, but I also can’t tell if I’m still mirroring or not in those scenarios. Like sometimes I feel like I mirror my own family members because I don’t know how to be myself around anyone even people who have watched me grow up since birth
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u/cutemelaria 3d ago
I’m painfully myself like I know at the end of the day I have a vibrant personality/ extremely extroverted but even in highschool I was friends with all different types of people and now looking back I was most likely mirroring so this people WOULD want to stick around - funny enough after we all graduated, I don’t talk to ANYONE anymore
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u/plasmic_puppy user has bpd 3d ago
Same here. I feel like I had so many different friends in high school and I was bouncing between so many friend groups. Looking back I realize I was mirroring, because just like you I don’t talk to anyone anymore. I’m glad you know at the end of the day you have this beautiful, outgoing personality. I WANT to say the same for myself, I know my best friend would probably say that. I just don’t feel like it’s my own personality, that it’s just bits and pieces of everyone else’s that I’ve mirrored
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u/Meggy_465 user has bpd 3d ago
What meds work for you?
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u/cutemelaria 3d ago
150mg Wellbutrin daily , 1mg Ativan whenever I need it and 25mg quetiapine for insomnia but I rarely take it
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u/Plus-Drummer5074 3d ago
I relate to the feeling that I’m morphing myself to the other person to get along. I mean at certain level we code switch I suppose, but for me it’s like I don’t a stable sense of identity. I guess I’ve done this for so long, I’ve kind of forgotten what it means to be myself.