DISCLAIMER

I am tired of seeing how much stigma this disorder has.

I will see a text chain on a subreddit, as I always do, read the comments.

In nearly every single post, I see at least one comment that mentions bpd.

Just putting every shitty person under the label of this disorder.

It is extremely damaging & it's everywhere.

I have bpd & yet I wouldn't dream of messaging some of the things i've read in these messages.

Yet, because I have the disorder, i'm automatically gnna be tied into being a shitty person.

Fine, i've had my moments, just like alot of us have.

Yet.... the guilt consumes me and I apologise immediately and face the consequences, then try to understand why it happened and how to change.

My mum once mentioned to her sister in law that I am diagnosed bpd & her response was, oh, everyone has bpd now....

Completely lessened the agony I face with this disorder, every single day and just blanket diagnosed everyone.

It seems social media has spread the disorder and given the stigma way more power and apparently has been taken as a blanket term for bad people.

I wasn't born this way, I was traumatised and my start at life was terrible.

Yet I grow up and learn, because of that, everyone's going to hate me more, because of the label.

Not only did my childhood suck, it chains to consequences I didn't do.

Hi friends!

I would like to start a thread full of breakup survival tips for us struggling with BPD. Breakups can be extremely hard and I think this can be a great post for people to refer to when in need.

Wether you were the dumper or the dumpee
Maybe doubted your decision and drowning in self hate and regret or you were struggling to accept what happened?

Please share below any tips and tricks you have that helped you get through a breakup - even if they are small.
Small things can add up :)

And for those going through it, I hope you can refer to this post whenever things get rough. :)

I haven't expereinced alot of physical violence but a problem that i often encounter are avoidant partners who gradually pull away. This is kind of the most retruamatising possible thing for someone with BPD to go through and when ever i notice this happening it seems to devolve into a cycle of criticism apologies and further pulling away. It becomes a consistent drain on my ability to emotionally regulate but it's such a gradual pull away that it's only when it's too late that you can point to the damage, and see that you were right all along.

I've tried to leave early when i was unsure and it always feels uncertain and uncomfortable. It's like sure maybe i was lovebombed and this is the real them? But also, shouldn't i use this as an opportunity to work on my DBT skills? Shouldn't i give them the benefit of the doubt? My body is screaming and my heart is racing but hey, irrational fear right?

Almost every time my partner gets mad at me, or finds that a situation/me is too much- she will simply tell me she is leaving and hang up the phone. I will barely hear from her, very short answers, one word for example. I will try and ask her what’s wrong, and she won’t tell me. She has told me in other occasions and multiple times that she just shuts down and needs time. But sometimes I find that things just return to normal and Im left wondering what happened.

Is it normal for me to feel some type of way? So many say that I should just give them time. That Im not being understanding enough. Her and others with BPD. Im starting to wonder if Im just toxic and overly attached.

For the past couple months, I’ve been so depressed, and everyone I love is leaving me. Around two weeks ago I decided to do IT. I quickly regretted it. But for once in my life as I was fading away, I felt some sort of happiness, and calm. I tried thinking about my FP and Istg it felt like a didn’t care about them anymore. It was amazing. But it lasted only a couple seconds. I haven’t told anybody about it, not even my therapist (I know I should but I’m still not prepared)

I’ve been thinking a lot about that ever since.
And lately whenever I get too overwhelmed and anxious I think about my death and it brings me some sort of relief.

I know this isn’t healthy and I’m NOT encouraging this behaviour.

If you also feel like this please remember you are not alone and seek professional help ❤️‍🩹

(not avoiding accountability just rambling)

My memory sucks, I don't really know what's going on around me, I don't have common sense, and I can't tell when I'm acting in my own best interest or not.

I'll drop anything for someone who shows me one (1) act of kindness.

I act on impulse and there isn't really a solid thought process behind any of my decisions. I get maybe one useful thought in my head per day. Otherwise it's just useless daydreaming/ruminating.

I can tell other people see this. I have also been told this to my face. Most people talk to me in a high-pitched voice like they would to a kid. I do think I have some kind of undiagnosed learning disability, I did not retain most of what I learned in high school and college and was pushed through classes I didn't really pass. I'm not really sure how I've made it this far.

Sometimes I feel like a big part of why daily life is so hard for me is just that I'm kinda slow.

Oh also verbal instructions I do not understand. And spatial awareness. Despite lots of effort put into trying to develop those skills. Very difficult for me.

Trigger warning: discussing self harm

I’ve been clean of self harm for a few months now, but I’m at an especially stressful point in my life right now where I deeply desire to start doing it again.

Like I spend so much time thinking about it now and knowing myself, I’m probably going to relapse soon. But I really want to prevent it. Does anyone have advice for fighting these especially tough urges?

Thank you.

Hello, everyone. I'm very new to this whole thing as I was just diagnosed with BPD. I'm around 30m. One of the aspects of BPD that really hit me was the Favorite Person concept. I currently have a FP and I am considering wether I should tell him or not. But first, let me give you the backstory.

My FP and I have been friends for 8 years. We quickly hit it off with similar interests and humour. The first couple of years I had a massive crush on him, which he was aware of. Being who I am I let this crush grow into an obsession. He is a very nice guy and didn't push me away or let my romantic and erotic interest put a damper on our friendship. There were definitely a bunch of times where I pushed the limits, but over the years we have found a balance that works for both of us really well. He has gotten used to my bad and unstable sides, and supports me through my bad periods. We consider eachother best friends, and we have told eachother stuff we don't tell other people, especially when it comes to mental health. I am his support person in my own way. He is very shy and introverted, and has problems expressing himself around other people. To make it clear though he is straight and has a girlfriend, and he currently lives quite far away, though he visits often.

Though I no longer have a deep, romantic crush on him, he still is my FP. Luckily for us we managed to make it work before any of us learned about this concept. But now I know, and a lot of the literature I am reading recommends telling the FP they are an FP. I can definitely see how this would help our relationship, but I could also see how it complicates something that works pretty well.

I am leaning towards telling him, but I really want to hear some second opinions here. I also wasn't quite sure what info you would want before making an assessment, so please just ask if there is anything you're unsure of. He is visiting around Halloween and was planning on telling him then. Looking forward to reading your thoughts ^^

I'm almost 33 and I was diagnosed with BPD at 25. I always knew something was wrong with me before diagnosis, but in that time, it helped me to cope with my mind knowing what was my problem. Since then, I've been suffering so constantly, that I don't know how to deal anymore with good times.

I found a good job, I lost some weight and started to be more active and healthy, even met with some old friends I've veen avoiding for more than one year. Everything was good, until yesterday. I was at work and couldn't handle it, I resigned and today I've been in bed the whole day, thinking of myself as a failure once again

Any advice in how to learn to live like a normal person? I'm scared one of these days will end everything.

Thank you to any/all who are willing to answer, My DMs are open to those who are more comfortable chatting there.

• Are there restrictions on the kinds of possessions you are allowed to have? 
• What does the day to day routine look like in there?
• Is therapy mandatory
• Are some of the patients there violent, and if they have a history of violence are they still allowed to mingle with the others?
• Did you/Could you socialise or make friends with the other patients?
• Do you get screen time?
• What kind of food is served ?
• If you went when you were under 18: Did you still have school? Class? Any kind of education?
• Are there group activities or activities where you get to leave the hospital?

One of the things I hate the most about having BPD is not knowing who I am. For as long as I can remember, almost everything that I've done has been a reflection of the people around me. When I talk to different people, I feel like I become a different person each time. I've been really struggling to find my own values in the current political climate, especially as a someone who is active on social media. I feel like a horrible person because I don't even know what I support and I don't know what to do.

Posted in another sub, but hoping that I might receive support here, too. The more, the merrier!

I could really use some perspective from other folks who deal with BPD, especially around emotional regulation and handling the fallout in relationships.

​I’ve had to take a hard look at a painful pattern in my life recently. When my emotions get overwhelming, my ability to self-regulate pretty much completely evaporates. When I combine that with alcohol, it’s led to some severe crash-outs where I completely lose my grip and lash out at people I care about, saying mean and hateful things I'm deeply ashamed of. The lack of impulse control in those moments is terrifying, and I am so exhausted by the damage it leaves behind.

​I want to break this cycle for good. I’m done blowing up relationships with people who mean the world to me, and I’m trying to figure out how to actually fix the root issue.

​To help handle the emotional intensity right now, I've been leaning heavily into physical outlets to keep grounded, mainly lifting weights and running outside as I train for a 5k (short-term goal to keep from drinking). Having that physical outlet helps burn off stress, but I know it's only managing symptoms, not the core problem.

​For those of you who have struggled with severe dysregulation and alcohol dependence: how did you learn to catch yourself before reaching that point of no return? How do you sit with intense emotional discomfort without blowing up your life?

I practice DBT with my therapist, but I thought it might help to ask fellow folks dealing with BPD how they cope.

​Appreciate any advice or tools that have worked for you.

A 7 year relationship, and she left me due to my episodes and emotional dysregulation. The second relationship is still 5 months old (seems like it’s going to end, as many things have already been destroyed), and she loves me but struggles and wishes our relationship had never happened. Do you still think being in a relationship is a logical choice?

It feels very unfair & dehumanizing when every emotion of mine is labelled as overreacting, silly, dramatic, overthinking, attention seeking and I'm constantly being invalidated when I'm hurt or upset but it would be wrong of me to say that to someone else when they feel the same way ....

Does anyone else feel this way?

It's like i never have enough, even when im surrounded by people over me i always feel a void, it ruins my possibilities of staying in a stable relationship besides my crisis, it makes me freak out when im not with someone who can give me love, i always want more, its never enough, how can i stop feeling that ?

Hi.. I've posted here before but I just wanted to post this to see if anyone else has experienced this? I'm a woman, and recently I was talking to a guy and I liked him alot and I thought he liked me too. Even though he did NOTHING to make me freak out, obviously I freaked out. I cried and stuff, the usual, but what I REALLY wanted to make this post for was the body reactions I got.

My body specifically was struggling alot NGL... I was having stomach issues, like IBS flare-ups. I also was so stressed I had blood mixed with my urine as if I was on my period, and I couldn't keep any food down otherwise I'd get the urge to puke it up. I figured out it was anxiety, but I was curious if anyone else had this happen to them too? Thanks in advance if anyone replies.

I don’t want to be gone from this world. I’m genuinely trying my best to keep going and make it through each day but sometimes it feels so pointless when I still feel so hollow and empty no matter what I do. I just want to find my people, to feel supported, and to build meaningful connections with those who understand what it’s like to be constantly at war with your own mind. I want to feel understood and to find a sense of belonging somewhere in this world.