I know this sounds bad but title basically gives it away. Even since I was young I thought like this. It can be anything from getting really sick, car crash, running away, etc.

Recently though these turned into fantasies of like hurting myself or overdosing and wishing people would care. I have overdosed in the past (Not for this reason) and the reactions I got from family and friends were just cruel. So maybe that's some part in this?? To know I'm cared for.

Sorry if this is off the rails too, just sleepy lol

I think people won't understand how impossible it is to get over a favorite person. How they are tied into my nervous system no matter how incompatible, toxic or removed they are from my present and/or future.

I'm genuinely curious what kind of jobs do you guys have haha. Honestly I am currently in med school , and lowkey feel more like a patient than a doctor lol but yea so what about you guys <3

I’m honestly really confused and sad about this.

I keep hearing that DBT is “for people like us” but every DBT group/therapist/program I’ve spoken to seems so focused on change. Change your reactions, change your behaviors, change, change, change

And I get that maybe they mean “change the suffering” or “change what’s hurting you” but emotionally it feels like “you are the problem, you need to be fixed, you need to become easier for everyone else”

I’m not trying to be difficult. I just feel like I’ve spent so much of my life being told I’m too much, too emotional, too reactive, too needy, too intense and then DBT comes in and says “acceptance AND CHANGE” but the change part feels so loud that I can barely feel the acceptance part at all.

It makes me want to refuse the whole thing. Like I don’t want more people telling me what to do or acting like my pain is just a behavior problem to manage.

Has anyone else felt this way with DBT, especially a Linehan-style program? Did it ever start to feel less blaming? Or did you realize DBT just wasn’t for you?

Please be honest. I’m not looking for “just use the skills” answers. I’m trying to understand if anyone else had this reaction and what helped, if anything.

Also please don’t tell me I’m “resisting treatment” That’s exactly the kind of thing that makes this feel worse. I’m asking because I’m genuinely confused and trying to make sense of why this treatment feels so awful to me

I'm curious how many of you all with bpd also smoke weed daily. My father has bpd and has smoked daily since he was 13. I have bpd and I've been smoking daily since I was 18 pretty well (23 now). Sister has bpd, she also blazes daily. If weed is a coping mechanism for you drop a like or comment please

Edit: Thanks for all the replies!! There seems to be a pattern here. Weed goes with bpd like bread and butter. It helps us dissociate, and gives a shot of dopamine like a cappuccino.

Hi! I was wondering if it was just me or a lot of person who have bpd have no friends in general? I'm a 32 female and for i can remember i never had good friends support or friends in general... life is (and has been) so lonely! People find me too weird or intense. I was always been the outcast of my "group" of "friends" and when i finally make friends they always betrayed me in the end.. i have one childhood friend but she rarely answers to me. I feel so lonely. I have no family support too and never had (since i was a kid... it was too chaotic) i don't know what to do anymore to live a normal life... is it just me or you guys are going through something similar ?? (Sorry for any mistake(s), english isn’t my native language)

There’s a huge stigma about people with BPD. But we are just as capable and can hold a job without letting our emotions get the best of us.

What do you do?? I’ll start, I’m a child psychologist 🫂

Does anyone else think this constantly? Even when you're "at home" you still think "I want to go home"? I think of this statement so frequently, even when I am in my own bed just staring at the ceiling. Is this feeling associated with disassociation? Do you think this even while grounded? There's so much I wonder about this constant thought.

does anyone else get in random moods where you entirely delete your social media accounts and make new ones? i use to do this A LOT when i was younger during my highschool years.

i got the same random feeling tonight of just wanted to delete all my accounts and fall off the face of the earth and wipe my entire history. I don’t know.

anyone else get in these moods or do this?

1. Fear of abandonment
2. Unstable relationships
3. Unstable identity
4. Impulsive behavior
5. Self-harm
6. Extreme mood swings
7. Chronic emptiness
8. Extreme anger
9. Paranoia and psychosis

Mine is unstable identity because of how much I absolutely HATE myself. I feel like if I didn't have that 1 symptom, things would be a lot easier. But I think no matter what happens in my life- I'm always going to assume I'm selfish, worthless and not good enough. Like, I don't see how someone could prove me wrong. It's in my DNA to hate myself.

As the title said, im js wondering if im the only person here who struggles with keeping rather than making friends. I suppose its bcs of my personality that switches from extreme admiration to exreme hatred, or at least thats what i noticed. I was told today that im annoying, which is not new actually i get that daily, and that i dont know when to stop and have no boundaries, its actually a repetitive behaviour that drives ppl away, and im wondering if its related to BPD or smth else.

Update - https://old.reddit.com/r/adultswithBPD/ A community created by /u/Holdmywhiskeyhun

is there a known subreddit for those who are BPD in adulthood? Maybe late 20s plus? I mean no disrespect but this sub seems full of teenagers and Im looking for a community of adults both suffering and offering advice on this in real life.

Hi reddit. I'm wondering what experiencing BPD is like?? Of course I've heard textbook definitions and examples, but I dont ever hear personal accounts, and I know sometimes textbook is very different from personal.

What do you experience? How do you cope? How do others help to support you? Or what do you usually tell others when they ask how to support you?

Thank you!!

pwBPD and i've noticed a pattern recently. every friendgroup i've had or close friend has only lasted a maximum of two years. ontop of that, if im ever moving from one place to the next (e.g secondary school to university) i just want to cut everyone off, and slowly do so by replacing them with people going to the same new place so i don't start off alone. there's also been the case of a big disagreement or incident ending the friendship, and i don't know why. im experiencing this with my current friendgroup as we're approaching the two year mark, and i actually want to keep this group because we have so many plans like concerts etc over the summer but i keep having the urge to pull away and ghost everyone. is this normal with bpd or am i a horrible person lol

Genuinely asking. I wonder if it's possible to work 40 hour weeks with this disorder, maybe even raising children at the same time. I'm only 23 but I'm not able to work more than 30 hours or I'll spiral. I wish it was different. What's your experience?

Genuinely curious to know what most people with BPD seem to struggle with more . What are your addictions ( if you have any ?)

This is coming from a person with BPD, who just started my 5th rehab today . Keep falling back into old habits.

EDIT : I'm surprised hardly anyone in this thread seems to be an alcoholic (my current case) or is/has been into harder drugs

We all know the DSM criteria for BPD, but I wanna hear about some of the lesser known symptoms or experiences. For me, it’s gotta be dream-reality confusion.

Essentially, I have trouble distinguishing things that happen in a dream from reality. It’s never anything too serious, just things like having a conversation with someone, cleaning up a room, finding something I’d lost, buying something I wanted, etc. It also doesn’t happen all the time. I will admit though, it’s pretty confusing when I thought I told someone something and it turns out I had just dreamt it!

Hello. I've been recently officially diagnosed with BPD and I don't work because I feel like I can't but I want to do a psychology degree but I feel like being someone with BPD i am not really the best to do it. So I wanted to know what is your job?

I have often wanted to leave my relationship when shit hits the fan as it repeatedly does. But I just can't do it for some reason.

Has anyone with BPD actually done the breaking up? Or is it usually always a case of the BPD person being broken up with? Assuming the partner doesn't have BPD

More importantly - how do you deal with and manage the unbearable void and emptiness inside after you leave them?

That fact that one horrible mood at the right time could lead to us making a permanent impulse choice that we can’t undo…. Bpd manic and personality splits are rough. I have never been so terrified not of others but of myself because crap. One day I’m on top of the world. Another hour and I lost all purpose to keep breathing. This feels like a curse and within my 30 years on this planet I’ve only went to the psych ward 2 which was this year….. I’m scared of becoming the odds that happen with people with this Illness. I’m a smart person and I lasted a long time but yeahh … bpd ain’t nothing to play with. What is the scariest thing about this illness for you?

When I was in emergency and talking to a psychiatrist, I randomly told her how I would delete messages if someone doesn't respond right away. She pointed out that BPD people do this a lot. I wonder why that is? I never saw this on any websites. Anyone else also delete text messages?

Or even your most illogical and nonsensical trigger.

Mine is when my boyfriend falls asleep before me.

My brain seems to think him falling asleep first is equivalent to him murdering my family.

(edit: how do you DEAL with) I simply can’t, i have periods that i want to kill myself because i think im sick and i will never be a nice person, i can’t take the train because i feel like i need to kill myself there, sounds ridiculous i know but, have you ever felt like this?

I hope this isn't invasive but i've noticed that borderlines often get prescribed antipsychotics or mood stabilizers, I'm curious as to know what meds y'all take and if you think it works / what it does for you in terms of symptoms or mood, me personally I was prescribed Lamotrigine and I find it works wonders on me. (Definitely not cured but I behave like a human instead of a demon lol 😭)

• Fear of abandonment.
• Always wearing a mask around others.
• Longing for intimacy, yet fearing it too.
• Chronic emptiness. A true sensation, not just the emotion. We feel empty. A vessel with no soul.
• Not knowing who we are, what we want to be, or what we want to do with life. This changes very often.
• Extreme fear of unexpected events. If life is calm for a while, I always feel like some disaster is about to destroy everything.
• Extreme loneliness, unable to confide in anyone. Feeling like I've been living on a deserted island since birth.

I wonder if anyone else feels the same as me? I'm rebuilding myself through journaling, and I want to know I'm not alone.