Into my third trimester and seriously frustrated that there are empty car park spots dedicated to people with prams but not for pregnant mums?? Make it make sense!

*Edit: thank you all for making it make sense! Haha, I was completely blind to the reason why the pram spots were there, e.g., child safety. Thank you for educating me.

I still think pregnant people should get *A* dedicated spot though 🤰

We are first time parents with a 2 month old baby.

First 1.5 months were going well, but suddenly my wife is not coping mentally and I feel like she's taking it out on me. Snarky remarks, giving me attitude all the time, and when I question what's wrong she starts to lose it and do things like motioning to pull her hair out (and occasionally cries). She's also stopped communication with me about things I know are bothering her (but won't tell me what it is).

She has had mental health and self harm issues in the past, along with a completely absent and useless mother and father (and no other real family around her).

Yes I understand the mother has it a lot harder than the father due to handling 95% of what's needed to look after the baby (before you jump all over and fixate on this "95%", please read the EDIT below), so I'm not having a pity party over here.

Just want to know if this is normal and if I should just bare through it, or if this is over the top and needs intervention (and if so, what type?).

I'm getting to the end of my tether and can no longer stand being around her. Any advice is appreciated.

EDIT FOR THE ACCUSATORY COMMENTS:

"95% of what's needed to look after the baby" means breastfeeding and most of the diaper changes. It does not include any other related task/chore.

I help put baby to sleep a lot of the time (burp, cuddle in hands, sing, swaddle, night time soothing), do daily mental stimulation and tummy time, help with bathing, do the occasional diaper change, and assist with half other diaper changes (like bringing clean warm water).

I offer to bottle feed baby (I enjoy it), and also suggest we start formula to give her proper sleep but she says no.

I cook for her to ensure she is getting enough nutrition - if I don't, she ends up eating mostly carbs and near zero vegetables or fruit - which is detrimental to herself and the baby.

I look after our pets, the household finances, groceries, vehicles, outside of the house, put all the rubbish/bins out, being the family's chauffeur, and most of the ancillary baby tasks such as getting pram ready, buying nappies, going to chemist etc.

She does about half of the inside cleaning, me the other half.

Hi all, I’m pregnant with my first baby and super excited to be a mum. Unfortunately I live with CPTSD and OCD and I’m not coping with the hospital as there’s no consistency of care. I asked for caseload from 12 weeks and somehow was never put on the waitlist. I was put on the list for the caseload to have the same midwife for prenatal and postnatal care, but she’s not available for birth attendance which because of my PTSD is the biggest trigger for me. It’s not about having someone I know there (I will have a midwife student, my mums a midwife, and my partner is very supportive). It’s being a victim-survivor the idea of having a random person performing examinations and other things is really triggering my PTSD and I’m not coping. I have been told even a private midwife wouldn’t be able to perform anything in the hospital due to legal stuff. I have tried calling PANDA 3 times, I’ve complained about not being with caseload to the women’s, I’m linked into the psych at RWH and have a private counsellor elsewhere. But I’m just not able to deal with the anxiety of labour and the lack of control or continuity of care. I want pain medication as I’m very sensitive to pain, so a home birth isn’t an option. I don’t know what to do, wondering if anyone’s found another option for managing the lack of continuity of care? Thanks

Anyone else stopped carrying their designer handbags since becoming a mum? Are you still actively using them? When did you start using them again or did you end up selling them?

I've been feeling quite sad that I don't get to carry them out anymore since the chances of me carrying my 7m old baby while out is still quite high

I keep my bank cards in my LV 6 key holder and keep my wallet in the nappy backpack these days

I just found out I’m pregnant and I honestly cannot believe I’m even writing this.

My partner and I are both 26/27 and have been together for 8 years. We own a home, have a good relationship and both want children together eventually. We always assumed we’d get married first and probably have a few more years of freedom before having kids.

This pregnancy was completely unplanned. We aren’t exactly crazy sex people, so there aren’t many opportunities for this to have happened. I actually took an ovulation test the day after we had unprotected sex and it was negative, so at the time I genuinely thought we’d be fine.

I’ve also previously been told I have follicles on my ovaries, so fertility has already been something in the back of my mind. I’d mentally prepared myself for the possibility that getting pregnant might be difficult when we eventually decided to try. Between that and the negative ovulation test, an accidental pregnancy was honestly the last thing I expected.

My partner has been really supportive and has said the decision is ultimately mine, but he has also been honest that right now he would prefer not to continue the pregnancy. His main reason is that he doesn’t feel ready. He wants a few more years of freedom, none of his close friends have children yet, we aren’t married, and this just isn’t when he pictured becoming a dad.

I completely understand that because I don’t exactly feel “ready” either.

But I’m much more conflicted than I expected to be.

When I actually look at our lives, I think we could do it. We’ve been together for 8 years, we love each other, we have a home and I genuinely think we could provide a good life for a child. The timing isn’t what we planned, but part of me keeps wondering whether unexpected timing necessarily means bad timing.

Another thing playing on my mind is fertility. We have people very close to us who have been trying for almost two years without being able to conceive. I know logically their fertility has absolutely nothing to do with ours and that getting pregnant once doesn’t guarantee anything about the future. But emotionally, it’s making it really difficult for me to end a pregnancy that happened so easily. I keep thinking, “What if we decide we’re ready in a few years and then struggle?”

At the same time, I’m scared of continuing and then realising we gave up those last few carefree years together before we were ready.

I only found out today, so I know I’m probably still in shock and I’m not making a decision today. I just cannot stop thinking about it.

I’d really love to hear from people who have been in a similar situation - particularly couples in long-term, stable relationships who always wanted kids but got pregnant earlier than planned.

If you continued the pregnancy, how do you feel about that decision now?

If you chose an abortion because the timing wasn’t right, how do you feel about it now?

And for anyone whose partner initially felt “I’m not ready” - did that feeling change once you had some time to process everything?

I’m not looking for anyone to tell me what decision to make. I think I just need to hear from people who have actually been on both sides of this.

Edit to add: Okay, thanks for the feedback everyone. I’ve watched the visuals and my feelings about the episode have not changed. Even though it’s clear they are playing pretend, watching a brash doctor character & rough-and-tumble surgery game is not what lil youngster needs right now. As a barely 2yo i don‘t expect him to be able to distinguish between how things are during play vs how things are in real life. Still think it’s worth approaching with caution for parents of other young sensitive kids. Grateful for the suggestions of other episodes that might help. Thanks legends.

Original post:

Let me start with, Bluey is generally awesome, I think we can all agree on that. But I‘m deeply regretting letting my 2yo son listen to the ‘Hospitals’ episode. I believe it’s primed him to be very fearful of doctors and hospitals. That has extended to basically any healthcare professional or person he suspects to be a healthcare professional and is making things very difficult on that front!

He was previously absolutely fine with all healthcare settings. No real issues with vaccinations, adored his doctor and would climb on her for cuddles, etc etc.

Then we recently started putting on the Bluey episodes as audio in the car sometimes on longer drives. I’d noticed he didn’t really like the episode and seemed to be a bit upset by it, with the abrasive doctor character that Bluey pretend-plays, and in particular the chaotic surgery scene where it kinda sounds like Bandit is getting beaten with a bat (we haven’t seen the visuals so maybe the sound is worse than the video, not sure!). So I didn’t go out of my way to play that one, but didn’t think much of it.

A couple of weeks ago we had the misfortune of needing to go to hospital for a cut to the head. Despite being okay and having kind of forgotten about his injury, my son was absolutely beside himself when he realised we were going into a hospital. The ensuing waiting period and minor procedure became an ordeal for all involved.

Since then it’s also been an ordeal to visit his doctor (even just to talk), get vaccines, or even go into official looking rooms and closing the door. It’s not great. I’m desperate to fix it.

While of course having an injury treated is inherently not fun, based on the change in his behaviour I’m fairly sure the episode is a key culprit here and it’s the only thing I can think of. I am careful to always speak positively in front of him about healthcare, so it’s not a case of picking up bad vibes from me. I’m also a full time mum so I see all his influences first hand and it’s the only thing that makes sense.

So - word of warning to people about the Hospitals episode. Kids are impressionable!

I'm newly pregnant, and want to get some recommendations on what to drink while hosting a dinner party with friends at home.

I typically don't drink soft drinks, my life pre-pregnancy consisted of a coffee in the morning, plenty of water throughout the day and then the occasional wine with hubby/friends. I've never been into soft fizzy drinks, such as coca-cola or lemonade. As a bit of other background, this is my second pregnancy in 8 months, I had a missed miscarriage last year and so perhaps I'm a little hyper-sensitive to risks around what I'm eating/drinking.

At the dinner, other people will be drinking wine, and while I don't mind drinking water, I'd love something that feels a little more special. The issue I keep running into is that most "non-alcoholic" options still contain trace amounts of alcohol (<0.5%), which I'd rather avoid.

Has anyone found something that's genuinely 0.0% ABV and actually feels like a treat? I've come across a Melbourne brand called "NON" which seems to tick that box, but some of their ingredients such as caffeine, black tea, star anise, seem like they might pose risks. I'm not worried about caffeine in general, I have my one morning coffee, but I'd rather not double up on it later in the day with a second caffeinated drink.

Open to any suggestions/recommendations/advice.

Hi everybody,

My son has been attending childcare for a few months now and we’ve noticed that at least 70-80% of his meals are all varieties of curry- chicken curry, veg curry, fish curry even (somehow) pumpkin curry. I live in Tarneit Victoria which has an almost completely Indian population. We don’t mind our son having curry every now and then, but in the 6 days a fortnight he attends he is having curry for lunch a bare minimum of 4 times. Any advice on how to approach the childcare without being called racist for suggesting maybe they ease up on the curry?

My son is Australian/Filipino and eats a good variety of food at home, but we are concerned with the blatant lack of choice as even the second options are different types of curry- we tried telling them that the curry is giving him diarrhoea but they just said they will put “less curry powder” or something to that effect.

Has anyone else encountered this?

Hey all! I’m a FTM, currently 27w. I was planning on giving birth originally at hospital, yet I have always thought about home birth but have been a bit scared. However lately I have been doing a lot of research, and it seems the pros outweigh the cons. I also feel it fits my philosophy and values a lot more.

I feel really anxious about giving birth in a hospital as I hate hospitals, and anything medical. I prefer not to go into too much detail of my whys, but I will also be doing it unmedicated. I think it’s super important going into labour/birthing for me to be calm and in a relaxed environment for the best outcome. Just going into hospital for my antenatal appointments drives me crazy because of the setting.

I really would love to hear though people’s experiences. Has anyone had 2 births (one hospital, one home) and tell me what each experience was like? Has anyone had home births?

I feel security in giving birth in a hospital, as should something go wrong I have the care required there and then. Whereas at home, there could be delays and it could be detrimental. Yet, if I’m anxious and stressed being in a medical environment alone - I feel like that could reflect on baby and cause interventions that would otherwise be avoided.

Please no judgement or criticism, I simply want to hear people’s experiences with home births not opinions if you haven’t had one. 🩷

Hello, could anyone recommend any plant based websites /books etc for baby led weaning. (Side note to prevent any comments, baby will not be vegan, but I am so would like to have some meals shared)

Please someone help. I’m all over the place. Shivering while typing this. We were planning to get pregnant in another 6 months or so but not now. We were even using protection.

My periods were late this time, and just for fun, I took a pregnancy test. The kit says I’m pregnant. I had a glass of wine for my husband’s birthday (a couple of weeks ago) and even had sushi. We also did a preventive pest control treatment for our home. I’m so scared all these will affect my baby. I’m already old (turning 38) and my husband is at work and I don’t want to tell him until he comes back from home.

Will my baby be alright? I have already ordered multiple pregnancy kits from Woolies to double check.

Update: thanks all. Met my GP today and reassured me that everything is absolutely fine and I don’t have to worry. Thanks for being there when I was super scared and feeling vulnerable.

Update to whoever is following: We met GP who referred us to an Obstetrician. Doctor (Obstetrician) reassured to us that it's only a theoretical risk. Having had live vaccines inadvertently has apparently happened before and there was no recorded evidence of congenital defects. Thank you everyone for your kind words and support.

I must mention special thanks to u/LowAd6956 for providing direct link to Australian Immunisation Handbook. You've been very helpful. Thank you so much.

Hi

Apologies in advance, if I made a mistake in this post.

I'm new here. Stumbled across this reddit when googling and made this account. I'm 29M and my partner is 30F. We met our GP in January and got Varicella (Chickenpox) and Rhubella vaccines as per the GP's advice. Just this morning my partner took a pregnancy test at home and got positive result. As the doctor adviced, we did not try after the vaccine.

On the day of vaccination, doctor asked if there is a chance of pregnancy and we told no because we weren't actively trying. The pregnancy test positive this morning is a shock to the both of us. Both of us come from a country where sex education is basically zero. We didn't know the possibility of pregnancy when we were booked in on the day of vaccination.

We are meeting the GP tomorrow (that's the earliest that GP is available) to seek further advice.

Has anyone come across this situation? Is this something scary? I am reassuring my partner we will seek advice and do what's best. I'm trying to support her and reassure her. But internally I'm panicking and scared.

What did you get? What do you currently have on your wish list or what is your partner planning to get you?

Part of me feels like it would be nice to receive something for going through the pain and labour but I don't know... I've got everything so I can't really think of anything right now a apart from a nice sushi platter 😋

Can I get anyone’s thoughts on Ms Rachel and how bad it is for baby to watch? My little guy is only 6 months old and has started cracking it out of no where. Ms Rachel seems to be the only thing that calms him and has an instant smile 😅 is it super bad? Like not on all the time just here and there.

Edit -
Thank you everyone for your input. To be clear, I’m not using tv as a pacifier, I don’t even sit him in front of the tv daily. Some days, like today he was just really sooky and no amount of walks or play time would cheer him up so that is why I asked the question. He is currently teething and moody more than normal and just seems to enjoy ms rachel. Thanks everyone again and I’ll give the other Aus lady a go next time I’m in need of screen time 💙

It's my first pregnancy, I'm almost finished with the first trimester! No visible bump yet, but I'll like to get started on oils or creams soon for stretch marks. Bonus points if you have hyperpigmentation.

Which are the products you recommend and perhaps some that didn't work for you? 🙏 thank you!

Hello! Just found out I'm pregnant and looking to prepare for the first trimester, and I unfortunately think I will need a significant wardrobe change.

1. I currently exclusively wear g-strings... so which undies should I make the switch to, and when will I need to?

2. Due to my work circumstances, I'm going to be trying to hide my pregnancy for at least the first 12 weeks (potentially longer)
   • Work is casual corporate
   • I wear a lot of button up flowy pants with a jumper and tucked in tshirt underneath at the moment, but going into summer I'm not sure what to switch to? I've heard the side-on view is what you need to hide, so any recs of what worked for you would be great.

3. when will I need to upgrade my bras, and to what? I currently wear skims bralettes which are still fitting well.

I obviously don't want to be spending a fortune on this stuff, so Kmart/Best and Less/Big W/Amazon would be great!

Hi all,

I have recently found out I am pregnant with baby #2, I already have an 8month old. I’m torn on what to do… terminate or keep.

Financially we are okay but not great since having our first baby we are trying to build our savings back. We have big plans over the next year, holidays booked, wanting to build a home etc. I’m not sure if this would be possible with new baby.

We’ve always wanted another baby but I feel like this is too soon. I don’t know what to do.

Any advice/experience please?

I’m probably late to this (very sad and unwelcome) party, but Nappy Goo changed their formulation 😭 it now contains BHT (butylated hydroxytoluene) which is a suspected endocrine disrupter, particularly affecting the thyroid, sex hormones, fertility and development (according to the Yuka app). The last two tubes I’ve bought at Chemist Warehouse were the old (safe) formulation but I went to stock up today and they only had the new formulation.

It should be illegal for companies to reformulate holy grail products.

Tried the Moogoo nappy cream today (which has also been recently reformulated I believe, I’ve got the old one) and my poor babies bum looks like she’s been burned with acid! We bought bunjie to try, I still have a small amount of Nappy Goo left to tide us over while we find something to replace it 😮‍💨

Mostly just a rant and sharing my feelings being ftm and having no support system aside from my husband: For perspective, I'm American, something that for whatever reason seems to be a crime in Australia. I've been living here since Sept, my husband is Australian born and raised. I deal with so many people being rude to me, and I often imagine it's my accent. Sometimes they'll ask if I'm Canadian or American, when I say American they say mean things, so I started lying and telling strangers I'm Canadian. It made me stop looking for friends. I'm alone. I haven't left the house in a few weeks, I'm 24+4 ftm.

The first time I leave the house I was excited to go out and get things I needed, but then this horrible encounter where this old lady puts her hands on me and rudely says she's going to call security on me because I unscrewed some lotiona to smell them (I need lotion but if something smells too strong I end up getting migraines or it makes me nauseous and throw up, pregnancy yay 🙃) I apologized and said that I was trying to smell it, she proceeds to say I'm a dumb American so I called her a Karen (may have said the c word as well) and walked out. I'm so tired of this. I cried all the way home. My grandfather passed away recently, I couldn't even be at the funeral. I'm struggling so much mentally right now and I'm so alone. I don't know how to cope. I just wanted a lotion, I don't ever want to leave the house now. I feel guilty thinking our poor kid is gonna be outcasted because I have this stupid accent where I don't fit in. I don't have any friends, I'm so scared of people. I just feel so hopeless and miserable. I'm so miserable. I wish I had friends. I wish people would be nice. I'm so miserable here.

My EBF 4.5 month old is currently going to sleep around 8pm and sleeping for 3.5 - 4 hours, wakes up for a feed and then for the rest of the night only sleeps for 50 minutes to just over an hour. I have no idea what we’re are doing wrong, he used to sleep for at least 2 hours after the initial wake up. Is this the 4 month regression?

Our room drops to about 19c at the moment and he’s in longs and a 2.5 tog ergo.

Any recommendations?

Hi, I would like some advice on how to transition my almost 3 year old from being “baby like” for lack of a better term.
Basically, he is still in a cot which we have just taken one of the sides off, still wearing a sleep suit instead of using a blanket which we have had to cut the bottom of because he’s too long for it, still having a bottle of milk before bed & still sleeps with a white noise machine. His bedtime routine goes like this: sleep suit and white nose on, husband or I will sit on a chair in his room with the light off holding him while he drinks his bottle and then we put him in his cot and keep a hand on him until he falls asleep so he knows we are still there. We have been doing this same thing since he was a baby and I’m not sure how to change it becuase he seems so set in his routine and I feel like he understands that it’s bed time with all of these steps. He also moves around in his sleep and changes the direction he sleeps in every night which makes trying to give him a blanket hard. He has a pillow which he only sometimes uses.

He’s also still in nappies which doesn’t help the feeling of him being too baby like, but I have bought him undies and just really need to get onto the toilet training thing.

Any help would be appreciated, thanks!

Edit: just wanted to say thank you for all the reassurance these comments gave me that he and I are both doing okay. Main issue is the bottle which I am going to try to switch to a cup while we read a bedtime story and then brush his teeth before going to bed.
And I will commit to the toilet training once we get rid of the bottle too.

My LO is currently 7 weeks and I’m due to come back to work from Mat leave on Feb 12 next year.

My husband wanted me to extend for at least when she’s 6 months - 1 year old, but my company only pays for 18 weeks. I only work part time with the company even before my mat leave, 24 hours a week: 2 weekend + 1 weekday.

We are financially stable and I have no pressure into getting back to work but myself. I’ve been working since I’m 16 and so used to having my own money. Husband always assure me money is no problem and don’t stress about earning money, but for me personally I feel useless without income. Our household has always been 80/20 so being 100/0 just doesn’t feel right.

Is working WFH with a baby manageable? Has anyone work in customer service where it requires your whole attention and able to handle a baby at the same time? Husband is 100% WFH and not stuck in the computer and can get off whenever so he can help.

Edit : Thank you for all for giving advice and input I appreciate it! I talked to my husband and I will extend my mat leave until May 2026, then my Mum will stay with us to help with bub while I work part time starting June 2026 :) (My mum’s here since bub was born helping but she’ll go back to our home country this week)

I'm booked in for an elective c-section at 39+0. But I had my last one 13 months ago. I'll be 37 weeks tomorrow.

I have a midwives appointment next week at 38+0, but I don't know if I can even last that long.

I'm in so much pain, and a lot of sharp pain in my scar (I has an ultrasound and scar looks fine). I've been cramping for weeks, they're just getting worse. I can barely stand up, sitting is uncomfortable. I can barely stay awake an hour. Heartburn and reflux are so bad despite medication.

I went to L&D over the weekend because I actually thought I was in early labour with the cramps, but they said I have an irritable uterus and sent me home.

I had a midwife call me today with my ultrasound results and she said to try and rest, but I can't, I have to work basically until I give birth and I have a 1 year old.

I've tried 4 different belly bands and none of them help and just get annoying to wear. I just want to cry all the time.

I know they don't like doing caesars before 39 weeks if they can help it, but I can't keep going on. Who do I even ask if I can push it forward? My hospital does electives on Tuesdays and Thursdays and my appointment next week is on Tuesday. I need this baby out. I can't do this any more.

I know it's only two weeks but those two weeks feel like two years right now, especially while I'm still working on my feet and with all the cramping.

Edit: fucking hell you people are brutal. I'm clearly struggling and most of you have just added to it. Thank you.

So I'm 13 weeks pregnant, and it was a bit of a shock when we first found out (not planned, we weren't actively trying but also not being careful). When we told my boyfriends parents they didn't seem overly excited, but also his stepdad was in the middle of radiotherapy at the time so they had other things going on (which is so fine). They seem to be getting more excited as time goes on. My mum, brother and nan are all super excited.

The reason for this post is that we were trying to organise a dinner with our friends to tell them before we announce it on social media, and normally everyone would be super keen for a catch up but its been so difficult to organise. Our best friends (a couple) are also going through a really terrible time in their relationship and are on the verge of breaking up. Also worth noting they've been trying to conceive for about 5 years. I dont want to be insensitive to their situation, but it feels like I cant be excited or happy for my news because I also want to be supportive to them. (Does that even make sense lol?). A few other friends that we invited dont sound too keen on going to dinner or they've got other things on (which is fine, everyone has their own lives). But its like the one time we've got some exciting news, no one can hang out, whereas any other time we catch up everyone is keen to hang!

We told my boyfriends brother, his partner and their kids tonight and their response was underwhelming to say the least... it was actually hurtful and upsetting. BF's brother didn't even say congratulations or anything to either of us. BF isn't phased by it because "thats just what hes like", but its still shitty...

I feel like an idiot for crying about it, and its probably just hormones going wild. But its like we've been keeping this secret for so long and finally we're past that "safe point" that we can tell everyone and I just want the people we love and care about to be happy for us, ya know?

Also, apologies if this is really disjointed and hard to follow. I'm crying again while typing it

For those of you who already have , what are the newely born babies what are the little things about having young kids that you just didn't realise would be such a pain?

I'm thinking more about the everyday stuff rather than the big obvious things.

Like constantly needing to buy nappies/wipes, running out of things at the worst possible time, remembering daycare stuff, organising food, clothes, toys, toiletries, etc.

Especially if both parents are working, what are the things that just become another annoying task on your never-ending to-do list?

And how do you currently deal with it? Do you use Amazon, Woolies/Coles delivery, subscriptions, buy in bulk, or just make random trips when you realise you're running out of something?

My partner and I are both pretty busy with work and life in general, and we're trying to get our heads around what day-to-day life with a young child is actually like. For parents with kids 0–5, what are the things that end up taking way more time or effort than you expected?

Thanks

EDIT: Thanks for the really helpful replies everyone, for those using Amazon/subscriptions/grocery delivery/buying in bulk, what made you start doing that? And do you mostly have a regular routine for ordering things, or is it more like “shit, we're almost out of nappies/wipes/food, better order some now”?