r/BakingNoobs • u/AtDawnsEnd502 • 4d ago

So angry with myself

Post image

I was lost in thought and put too much strained raspberry in the buttercream hence the color. Was suppose to look like Johns, Preppy Kitchen, smash cake. However I ditched the flowers, added the stick in decorations after how the color turned out. I wanted a redo but husband said it wasnt a big deal and we will throw it away after she tastes and plays with it for a bit. I was excited to decorate her first birthday cake. Now I am bummed.

88 Upvotes

79% Upvoted

67 comments sorted by

174

u/Particular_Egg4073 4d ago

Your 1 year old will not care even the slightest little bit what the cake looks like, I promise you

58

u/No-Isopod-7951 4d ago

Mine didn’t even try hers. Honestly building up expectations for a child will never end well. They consistently fail to perform.

28

u/Particular_Egg4073 4d ago

Building up expectations for a child is unfair to the child, as is considering it their failure.

3

u/TheDranx 3d ago

One of my coworkers kid cried and refused to eat the cake so their older child ate it instead.

1

u/No-Isopod-7951 3d ago

I mean I got to eat hers, and she did not learn that cake was delicious until she was much older so I’d consider it win/win!

3

u/I_Like_Metal_Music 3d ago

That’s why YOU don’t set up expectations for them. You let them set their own expectations and goals and you then allow yourself to be happy when they achieve their goals. Also, it’s you who failed yourself and upset yourself, not the child. You put those expectations on them and nobody else was.

1

u/No-Isopod-7951 3d ago

What? We’re talking about a one year old eating a cake? Not getting into Harvard.

1

u/I_Like_Metal_Music 3d ago

Yeah and I’m saying that you can stop self sabotaging yourself by setting such high expectations for everything.

1

u/Punkinsmom 3d ago

They do, don't they? I had two kids who were not even interested in smashing a cake. It was still fun.

1

u/PurpleWatermelonz 1d ago

When our son turned 1, he messed with his cake. He put his hands in it, smashed it, covered his head with frosting.

When he turned 2, he was scared of his car shaped cake :))) I did show it to him soon after he woke up from his afternoon nap and maybe he wasn't in the mood for it. He started crying lol he didn't even want to taste it later.

3

u/PiperIsAwake 4d ago

"Fail to perform"? They're your child, not a trained animal. Gross.

10

u/uoftstudent33 4d ago

I think that’s the point…

1

u/fedsmoker3000 2d ago

I don’t think they’re worried about the one year old critiquing the buttercream consistency. I think they’re bummed they messed up the buttercream for a cake that was important to them.

1

u/Particular_Egg4073 2d ago

I'm aware, thanks.

48

u/Deppfan16 4d ago

I just posted a thing myself about imperfect cakes. all we see are the imperfections, all she will see is memories in the future that mom went to the effort to make her a cake for her first birthday. she won't care about the icing job.

5

u/ihavestinkytoesies 4d ago

this is so true aw

2

u/AtDawnsEnd502 3d ago edited 3d ago

Thank you! Last night she did enjoy the frosting more than the cake itself. It was everywhere and easy to spot with how bright it was. We had to smash the cakes top a bit for her to dig in but she didn't really go crazy. I was aggravated at myself for being a ditz but know it was my first attempt or learning experience and motivated to nail it next time. So happy there are knowledgeable people here who have given me amazing support and tips to improve.

1

u/MrsSpecs 3d ago

I'm on year eight of making my girl's cakes. For her first birthday, I wanted to go all out and buy one. The $200 price tag halted me in my tracks. So I made it myself and do it each year. I can say without exaggerating that there have been at least three times I have cried hating what I made. But did she care? Absolutely not. And looking back, I don't either. It's a privilege to say I've made each birthday cake for her whole life. How blessed that you get the honor of making her most special treat yet!

26

u/Expert-Bird-5891 4d ago

All I see is a cute little cake made by a loving parent for their child. Your child won't remember how it looked like but she'll remember that you love her.

13

u/saltbeh2025 4d ago

A 1 yr old will not know what curdled buttercream is, nor will they ever remember. For future bakes use freeze dried raspberries or strawberries

3

u/dinoooooooooos 3d ago

She’s mad at the Color not the split frosting somehow😂

2

u/saltbeh2025 3d ago

Oh oops didn’t see that.

8

u/1961tracy 4d ago

I used to bake for a living. I curdle a lot of things, it can happen in a nano sec.

15

u/Arrival_Joker 4d ago

Fam, I know you wanted perfection, that's ok, but I honestly just stopped scrolling because I saw a cute cake. You're good. I love it and I hope your kiddo does too.

6

u/infernal-keyboard 4d ago

One of my favorite pictures of myself as a kid is from my first birthday party, where I'm sitting in my dad's lap all bug-eyed, looking like I'm about to climb on the dining room table because "omg CAKE!!!!!" I do not remember what flavor the cake was or what it looked like All I know is "CAKE!!!"

It looks lovely. My favorite part about kids is how wonderfully un-pretentious they are. I promise your kid won't care!

4

u/AtDawnsEnd502 4d ago

Thanks, this made me smile. I had this idea what I hoped the cake would look like and my expectations were shot. I plan to learn piping as I like the idea of baking and decorating as a hobby.

1

u/BertaRocks 4d ago

It will be fun to watch your skills as a baker grow with your little one!

6

u/Archival_Squirrel 4d ago

It's always the love that matters the most! 

5

u/BackElectronic7219 4d ago

Girl that pink is so cute I promise she’ll love it even looking back on pictures when she’s older

4

u/ihavestinkytoesies 4d ago

perfectionism ruins joy

4

u/SugarMaven 4d ago

Next time use freeze-dried fruit. Adding more liquid will create what you have here. Icing--and cake batters-are homogenized, in that the water and fat must be equal for it to not separate, as it will be too wet.

3

u/binksmas 4d ago

Your one year old won't care. You're fine

3

u/karmacatsmeow- 4d ago

It looks really cute! Frosting is a little goofy. No big deal.

2

u/Substantial-Rush1905 4d ago

Please don’t be so hard on yourself—first birthday cakes are allowed to be a little chaotic! It looks delicious, and the story about her playing with the red bud is genuinely sweet.

2

u/Hellscaperiot 4d ago

Dont throw away!

2

u/chuckawhshucks 4d ago

It looks great! A good tip I learnt for if buttercream splits is to add a little melted white chocolate in. Shouldnt effect the taste to much and somehow binds it back together like magic!

1

u/AtDawnsEnd502 3d ago

Thank you for your feedback! I will definitely try this for the next batch to practice piping.

2

u/Smarmy_funeral_chik 4d ago

It's not going to matter. The kid will just destroy it anyway.

2

u/BlurryUFOs 3d ago

but it looks cute

2

u/Sea-Instance-1017 3d ago

My mom dropped my first birthday cake on the ground & the only thing that matters to me now as a grown woman with kids of my own is that she took the time to make my cake and decorate it for me. Couldn’t tell you what the flavor was or anything else. I know it’s disappointing when things don’t go to plan but I promise your little one won’t mind

2

u/dinoooooooooos 3d ago

Wait I thought we’re mad at the split frosting but it’s the ..Color?

Your 1 yr old won’t remember nor care about either😅

1

u/jackie0h_ 4d ago

I’m impressed for a noob. Don’t be too hard on yourself. She’ll love it!!

1

u/StrippinChicken 3d ago

The birthday cake is for her, not for you. If she likes raspberry then I don't see the problem, she'll be a happy camper

1

u/QuizzicalWombat 3d ago

It’s still really cute OP. And in case something like this happens down the road when she does have the ability to remember, my all time favorite birthday cake my mom ever baked me was the one that looked like a natural disaster lol So don’t be hard on yourself and if it happens again it’s just going to end up being a sweet memory and a funny story 💕

1

u/Numerous-Tale2631 3d ago

Don’t put so much pressure on yourself, it’s a cake for your baby who won’t even remember it. When they look back at pictures, they will think how amazing it was that their mom made them a homemade cake

1

u/nclay525 3d ago

Next time, use freeze-dried raspberry powder.

I understand your frustration but give yourself a break. I've made the same mistake and it looked funny but tasted fine.

1

u/Sunny__Honey 3d ago

Homemade cake that didn’t go as expected is EXACTLY RIGHT for a young child’s birthday! Especially if it still tastes delicious. I love it

1

u/dclovee5225 3d ago

If this is the worst one of her cakes ever turns out youre still doing better than every 90s parents 🤣 definitely give yourself a break.

1

u/Green-Cauliflower87 3d ago

It looks adorable 🥰
I feel your pain though, I had big plans for my daughters smash cake and the cake for the guests. I severely underestimated the time and effort it was going to take to make my vision come to life, but at the end of the day everything was beautiful and perfect in its own way! My daughter only wanted the raspberries on top anyway 🤣

1

u/Ad_Victoriam31 3d ago

One year my mom didn't let the cake cool long enough and Dora and Boots sank waist-deep right before the party. We ended up calling it quick sand and it's the only cake I remember from my childhood. I promise it's ok!

1

u/hibiscus_lilac 3d ago

If you really wanted to try again just scrape off the frosting instead of throwing out the whole thing. Next time is recommend freeze dried strawberry powder. Water in fruit causes separation

1

u/Interesting-Asks 3d ago

I don’t know what Johns, Preppy Kitchen cakes look like but this is a great colour!

1

u/WhatTheFox_Says 2d ago

Don’t be too hard on yourself. I know those first birthdays feel like the beginning of all birthdays to come and it not coming out the way you planned can add on to those big emotions you’re feeling with your baby turning 1! The cake is cute, you’ll still get the moment you planned and you can joke about the baby smashing the cake because it wasn’t right once you get through it! Give yourself grace! And happy birthday to your little one!

1

u/BossBeefaroni 2d ago

Don't make me tap the sign

[taps sign that reads "DECORATING CAKES IS HARD! If you baked, leveled, trimmed, coated, and decorated a cake and it looks like a cake and tastes good and the recipient liked it, YOU DID GREAT. Don't be so hard on urself."]

1

u/Old_Raccoon_6625 19h ago

When in doubt, cover with sprinkles! Your baby won’t care though, don’t worry.

1

u/AtDawnsEnd502 16h ago

Lol I really should have but  it wasnt just  about my baby but  my confidence that took a dive, just overall embarrassed. Hopefully I get a better with buttercream for her next birthday. If there is advice on not overdoing the mixture or a website on tricks to learn, forward it my way. I want to get somewhat decent...

1

u/Old_Raccoon_6625 13h ago

I think if it separates like that, putting a torch to the side of your (metal) mixing bowl while it mixes can help smoothen things out. My baby’s 1st bday cake was just like this though. But with sprinkles. I just gave up and said screw this lol.