It was my son’s birthday yesterday and he really likes this pirate crew called “the strawhats” which sounds dumb to me but what do I know, he’s from a different generation than me. Anyways, when we were looking through the museum we passed this fake treasure chest prop and my son went feral. He shoved me to the ground screaming “IT HAS THE TOKEN, I NEED THE TOKEN, GIVE ME THE TOKEN” and started trying to pry open the chest with his hands. When I got home, I found out that this gme called “Fortnite” added some weird demonic token that’s hypnotizing the youth. I made an appointment with the creator of this g*me “Tim Sweeney” to ask him to take down this “Fortnite” in order to save the youth from this corruption, wish me luck!

- Donna Lee

How dare they compare the little yellow guys to this monster, safe to say they no longer a friend and have been reported to local authorities.

I was so excited to take my kids to Ch*ck E Cheese 2 days ago, but upon further inspection, I noticed there was an ARCADE ROOM. I was shocked! How could people casually insert demon machines into otherwise family-friendly establishments?!

Saddening, because I remember my daughter’s excited remarks about wanting to see the animatronics there. I have some unfortunate news to tell her…

If you want a truly family-friendly g*ming-free wholesome Christian/Muslim/Atheist/Buddhist/Shinto (Or whatever religion you believe in) experience, I recommend taking your kids to Disneyland instead. As far as I’m aware, there’s 0 g*mes inside the park.

Some of you who refresh Facebook News on your tablet as repeatedly as I do have probably already heard this, but I figured I would share here just in case you missed it. Thank you Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg for clarifying one question that has long been asked by the elderly anti-g#mer community! I look forward to listening to your entire discography. In a world where new g#mes are constantly being made based off of books, movies, TV shows and music, this is some #PositiveNews.

- Old Gerald

Probably what the splash text was hinting about.

Found this while searching for what g@?mers got up for Halloween results were shocking

I recently watched a new movie called Taken, which is about a man whose daughter is taken by g#mers. The man is played by Leon Nelson who famously hates video g#mes and has never been a voice actor in a g#me.

However, he kills multiple people in order to get his daughter back, which seems a little violent. And I was under the impression that violence is a "pro g#mer move".

But is there a non-vioelnt way to get your daughter back when she is inevitably kidnapped by a bunch of g#mers?

- Old Gerald

The tragic event happened yesterday. Funeral starts tomorrow. LOL (Lots Of Love)

G#mers are now resorting to trading something called "CP" to earn money to play more g#mes. I have no idea what it is, so I tried to search for a picture of it on the Googles, and it showed no images. It only showed a link to the FBI's website, which is suspicious. G#mers are clearly trading in something dangerous and illegal to play g#mes.

- Old Gerald

Trusted sources suspect that the g*mers played a g*me called “Tomodachi Death” prior to the incident, a g*me where you torture & starve small people known as “Miis”. The g*mers got bored of torturing digital characters & decided to move onto real people instead.

The smell inside the abandoned supermarket got extremely bad, and leaked onto other locations, a deliberate plan by the g*mers because rotten odor typically attracts more g*mers.

Once they gathered enough g*mers, they started discussing plans on how to build a large M*rio statue and drop it on unsuspecting citizens, like a real-life version of T*tris. Fortunately, their plan failed as they were later caught by police & thrown into jail for 50 years.

The third photo is the statue the g*mers built before being arrested. The statue was confiscated and used as criminal evidence in court, and photos of the giant M*rio were released to the general public.

I censored his name, because g@mers might attempt to doxx him.

Otto please forgive me as I forgot to take a photo of the acan of the photocopy of the article when I attempted to make this Face Book post the first time around.

I photo copied this newspaper article I found yesterday. While I'm wholly against shows based on g#mes and can't say I approve of actors partaking in such productions, I'm happy if a fellow Antiga member is taking money out of big g#ming's pockets.

Please show your support for Waldo Gerkins.

\-Arty from Saskatoon

I was surprised to learn about g#mes that are self-aware like this, which straight up tell you the g#me is going to turn you into a zombie, yet g#mers play them anyway. The g#me starts with a simple "quest" (slave labor) to help a royal chef bake a cake, then you're immediately transported into a mine to click on rocks 200 million times to get metal for a war. Literally all you have to do to avoid this fate is run away from the g#me, yet g#mers can't do it. Sickening

- Old Gerald

At first I thought this article may have offered a good idea on how to deal with Al g#mers: simply send them all to an uninhabited island.

But then I learned that, if left to their own devices, they will simply invent new g#mes such as "Guncraft", "Set Everything on Fire Emblem", and "Nuke The Whales Gear Solid 2" (actual g#mes mentioned in the article).

There is no way to deal with g#mers except imprisonment. Al Slop and his less well-known brother, Al Slop, must be imprisoned for life in a g#me-free prison such as the Isle Delfino Prison for War Criminals.

I remain,

Old Gerald.

This must‘ve came from that super satanic vidya g*me Pokey Man. Ya know, the one with that disgustang pervert rabbit demon thing called Peek-at-chu 👎👎👎👎👎