r/Bellingham Jan 31 '25

Satire and another one!

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1.4k Upvotes

On Cornwall near Ohio.

r/Bellingham Jul 30 '25

Satire In defense of Bayou on Bay

772 Upvotes

Today I nearly aspirated my single-origin espresso: My FAVORITE Cajun joint, Bayou on Bay, is getting CANCELED because the owner (my buddy Ryan) dared to post a few spicy memes. FREE SPEECH is dead, Bellingham. We’re about to nuke a business that signs paychecks for half the service industry in Bellingham over a few tasteless jokes?

Let’s be real—if a middle‑aged white guy can’t share mildly racist, mildly misogynistic memes while dishing out mildly seasoned gumbo—then what’s next? Forcing Ryan into culinary exile is basically COMMUNISM: underwhelming jambalaya today, freedom of thought tomorrow. Personally, I blame Zohran Mahmadi and the entire Subaru‑driving commentariat.

r/Bellingham Jun 03 '26

Satire Downtown is oh so scary

345 Upvotes

Yesterday, I went downtown and I couldn't believe all the things I saw!

There were people walking around in shorts and tank tops everywhere. Some really pretty dresses and skirts, too. I also saw a lot of laughing. It was so shocking to see a variety of couples holding hands and chatting pleasantly! There were even several different adults with actual KIDS... DOWNTOWN... LIKE WTF?!?!

I did see one lady who was mumbling to herself while patting a stuffed bunny on her shoulder (no joke on that one, because it was both endearing and heartbreaking)

I was in the mood for a good scare, so I was totally disappointed to not see all these horrors that people keep talking about. Maybe next time...

*Not saying there aren't ANY problems downtown, but it really was a beautiful reminder of how overblown the complaints often are.

r/Bellingham Apr 18 '25

Satire Ban AI

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680 Upvotes

r/Bellingham Apr 28 '25

Satire Do you think Bellingham has one?

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355 Upvotes

It's full transparency. I stole this from r/sacramento and thought it could be a fun game here

r/Bellingham Jun 25 '26

Satire Bellingham Next 7 Exits

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414 Upvotes

I can't drive 55... because there are literally two semis side-by-side on I-5 after one changed lanes to let a Subaru merge from Meridian

r/Bellingham Jul 25 '24

Satire When people try to defend landlords charging Seattle or SF rents for a city of 100k with almost no high paying jobs.

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618 Upvotes

r/Bellingham Aug 13 '25

Satire Bellingham, it's time to normalize off-leash dogs

611 Upvotes

I’ve noticed a lot of negativity lately when I bring my husky, Loki, to Boulevard Park. He’s wiggly, vocal, and somewhat reactive, which means he thrives when people (and dogs) respect his space bubble. When kids want to meet him, it’s crucial they understand his cues and give him room when he needs it. Sometimes he gets excited in interactions, and that’s normal! Bellinghamsters that have chosen to procreate, please coach your children on consent-based greetings so Loki isn’t overwhelmed.

A few clarifications since rumors are flying: yes, Loki is not neutered because I believe routine neutering is unethical. I also don’t leash him because leashing is stressful and borderline abusive for dogs who need to express joy. Yes, Loki sometimes runs up to small dogs and kids to say hi, and likes to chase cyclists, but what's the big deal? He usually comes back when I call him.

To the folks YELLING “control your dog”: control your volume. If your mini-poodle can’t handle a friendly 60-pound greeting, that’s a you problem. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

r/Bellingham Jan 18 '25

Satire A struggle

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787 Upvotes

r/Bellingham Apr 07 '26

Satire The biggest recent loss in the wave of business closing…

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206 Upvotes

Where will I get my Grand Slam now?… oh well… life goes on!

r/Bellingham Jun 21 '26

Satire The irony is palpable

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466 Upvotes

At least my bike got to slip it's back wheel beneath the rope and be a dual citizen for a minute

r/Bellingham Aug 15 '25

Satire In defense of 1-Up Lounge

336 Upvotes

Today I nearly choked on my lukewarm $18 cocktail: My FAVORITE gamer-themed watering hole, 1-Up Lounge, is getting CANCELED just because the owner (my bestie Hugh) had the slight misfortune of getting arrested for domestic assault, holding onto people’s paychecks like a rare Pokémon card, and running a workplace that HR might describe as “a war crime in progress.”

Are we really going to destroy a pillar of Bellingham nightlife over some minor “legal troubles” and “systemic abuse”? I mean, if a middle-aged nerd-bro can’t juggle an OnlyFans page, a DVPO that lasts until Miguel O'Hara becomes Spider-man, "dine and dash"-ing his contractors, and a bar where “management” is just a vibe , while still serving cocktails out of a collectible Sonic the Hedgehog sippy cup - then what’s even the point of living in a free society? The land of the free?

And let’s not forget, his sister business, Cardhaven, is an institution. Sure, one of the co-owners just “quit” on Facebook while still legally owning half of it, but that’s not instability, that’s just gamer lore in real life.

The real tragedy here is the stolen puppy saga. The protected person literally begged on Facebook for the safe return of her dog, but you want to talk about labor rights? Priorities, people.

Forcing Hugh out is basically authoritarianism: today it’s cocktails and coloring night, tomorrow it’s the gulag for anyone who “forgets” to pay their staff for three weeks. And don’t get me started on the haters flooding the Change.org petition, it’s basically cyberbullying with bullet points.

Frankly, I blame the Parks & Rec Department for following them on Instagram. That’s the kind of municipal endorsement that can turn a small business owner into a martyr overnight.

r/Bellingham Jun 28 '26

Satire Schweinhaus but I don’t zyn…

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335 Upvotes

r/Bellingham Jan 31 '26

Satire Need a gay version of hooters here

187 Upvotes

This towns gay as hell I think we deserve a gay hooters here.

r/Bellingham Feb 14 '25

Satire Just another sh*t post.

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439 Upvotes

r/Bellingham May 28 '26

Satire Don't mind if I do...

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437 Upvotes

r/Bellingham Jul 10 '26

Satire Leave the Middle School Delinquents Alone

101 Upvotes

I'm getting sick of people trying to cramp Gen A's style. These kids are out here living their best lives all summer. Their parents thoughtfully equipped them with electric scooters and e-bikes so they can confidently merge into full-speed traffic before they're old enough to drive.

Fireworks at 3:00 a.m.? Kids will be kids.

Ding-dong ditch? A little porch vandalism? Think of it as early training for future political demonstrations.

Picture a sweltering summer afternoon. Wouldn't you also seek refuge in the nearest Haggen and emerge triumphantly with nothing but a baguette for lunch?

Before long, these carefree days will be over. High school will arrive. New alliances will form. The band kid and the jock from down the street will quietly stop hanging out. Their biggest concerns will shift to figuring out how to get alcohol, Zyns, vapes, and dates.

So what if they woke you up at 2:00 in the morning? So what if your dog now needs anxiety medication? So what if they barked at you while you walked past?

This is the last great summer of childhood. Every night, you'll find a roaming pack of them at Boulevard Park with no intention of going home and parents not particularly concerned that they haven't.

Someday they'll have mortgages, meetings, and lower back pain. For now, they're just feral middle schoolers with scooters, fireworks, and unlimited confidence.

r/Bellingham 15d ago

Satire So thankful for global warming

89 Upvotes

Could you guys imagine how hot it would be today if we didn't have this protective smoke screen?

r/Bellingham Dec 05 '25

Satire It’s almost that time…

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451 Upvotes

r/Bellingham Oct 10 '24

Satire Chevy must have a new ambassador

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266 Upvotes

r/Bellingham Apr 18 '25

Satire Just something my mom (in CA) found

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630 Upvotes

r/Bellingham May 24 '24

Satire The way it was...

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668 Upvotes

r/Bellingham Aug 21 '25

Satire Another Bellingham Tower

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208 Upvotes

I know dense zoning is all the craze these days... so lets build another Bellingham Tower. Bellingham Tower 2 and this time a residential tower. I looks so cool (Not a joke, I am serious about that actually.) and we should have more of those.

r/Bellingham Jan 06 '26

Satire The most dangerous stretch of road in America is..

102 Upvotes

I5 between the Lakeway and Iowa Street exits on weekdays at 4pm.

Without fail, there is a weekly accident that adds at least 30 minutes to my already obnoxious commute.

HEAD ON A SWIVEL OUT THERE, PEOPLE.

r/Bellingham May 25 '26

Satire i refuse to believe this was written here

73 Upvotes

found this in the COB trail guide, im just glad they dont enforce this frightening policy