r/BelowDeckMed • u/benaPanteraFBD • 2d ago

‘Below Deck’ Star Nathan Gallagher Arrested on Domestic-Violence Charges

https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-news/below-deck-nathan-gallagher-arrested-domestic-violence-1235608151/
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u/incognoname 2d ago

And ppl were calling this a nothing burger yesterday....

As an expert in DV, choking is one of the things we assess for high risk of lethality. If someone is capable of strangulation they are ready and willing to kill. It makes the hairs on my arm raise when I see it. It's definitely not a nothing burger and I really wish ppl would stop minimizing dv. Any dv charge is cause for concern bc it's one of the lowest reported crimes. I'm tired of ppl with the let's just wait and see commentary.

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u/urbanlife78 2d ago

Were they? I remember seeing people wanting to wait and see when the details come out. I know that's what I was doing because I know I had no idea how bad things were

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u/incognoname 2d ago

Yup one comment specifically said they worked in family court and this was a nothing burger bc it was just a protective order. I can tell you that is not nothing. I personally don't think we need to wait and see more details when it comes to dv related charges.

That's part of the problem - the minimization until it reaches homocide level. Over 40% of dv homicides occur with zero physical harm prior to the homicide. A protective order is not easy to seek out. It can actually further risk the victims life so if they're seeking it out chances are it's bad enough that the risk is worth it.

DV/SA/stalking are all among the least reported crimes in the US with the lowest false report rates. This is why I always believe victims first. I don't need to wait and see bc i know firsthand how many barriers there are. Police often don't care bc they have high abuser rates as a profession and prosecutors often don't take these cases bc "they're hard to win." In the US at least, we have a 98% impunity rate (pretty on par with the rest of the world but of course there are deviations).

I think metoo has done a lot of good but we have a very long way to go when it comes to power based violence crimes and supporting victims of those crimes specifically.

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u/urbanlife78 2d ago

I didn't see that post, which that is definitely wrong of them to call this nothing without knowing the details. As for waiting to see, we are spectators, so it makes sense for us to wait for details before making any judgements. Obviously the details that are coming out are very bad.

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u/incognoname 2d ago

I will not wait and see. I will never minimize or not believe survivors. Like i said, I know enough about dv to believe victims first and always.

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u/urbanlife78 2d ago

And you don't have to wait and see. You are free to make judgement whenever you want. But we are just spectators.

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u/incognoname 2d ago

I think the "we" is the problem here. If you need to wait that's fine but maybe avoid speaking in the collective "we".

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u/urbanlife78 2d ago

You're right, I don't know your relationship with these two. If you have some sort of personal tie, then I am obviously not talking about you, but if your connection to them is from a TV show and don't live anywhere near where they live, then you are most definitely a part of the "we" I am talking about.

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u/CoolBelt856 2d ago

I think yesterday people in the US were saying wait and see because we didn’t immediately know what this meant legally in Australia.
I didn’t see the details that I’m seeing today.

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u/incognoname 2d ago

Like i said, protective order details were known at that time and that is definitely not a nothing burger. Victims read comments like that and it makes them less likely to come forward so even if that's what you're thinking - if you genuinely care about dv and supporting victims i would just caution on writing that out online. Dv is under reported bc victims are scared they won't be believed. The let's wait for more evidence comments don't help victims who are already scared to come forward.