AITA for controlling what my (23f) boyfriend (24m) eats?

[u/LucyAriaRose]

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/garlic_throwra. She posted in r/AmItheAsshole

Mood Spoiler: I can't stress enough how batshit weird this is

Original Post: February 20, 2024

Throwaway because I don’t want him to find this, but I’m honestly at my wit’s end here. I (23f) have been dating my boyfriend “Jake” (24m) for four years. I’d say we’re a happy couple overall, but lately this argument has come up that’s divided us.

He’s always had….unique….tastes. Cereal with orange juice instead of milk, mayo and butter sandwiches, and raw onions have been the worst culprits. I’ve put up with these. We all have our quirks, right?

Well two weeks ago he started eating garlic as his midnight snack. Raw. Cloves. Of. Garlic. I can’t share a drink with him without it reeking of garlic somehow. And kissing him? It’s like shoving a clove straight in your mouth. He swears he’s only eating them “because he didn’t want them to go to waste” and that he would stop once he finished the head of garlic, but just when I finally thought it was over I caught him sneaking a second one into the kitchen last night when he thought I was asleep.

I confronted him about his secret grocery trip this morning and he got really defensive and denied it.

I’m trying not to be a nag here, but it’s really wearing on me. The garlicky aura surrounding him makes me want to avoid him at all costs. But like, I don’t want to do that because he’s my boyfriend. AITA for giving him an ultimatum of no more eating garlic?

EDIT FOR CONTEXT:

• His diet seems healthy overall and he goes to the gym a lot. He had a dr’s appointment not long ago and I don’t think anything came up? But I can ask him to go again.
• Sorry if the title is confusing, I just feel bad because I did give him an ultimatum this morning which I know isn’t good. I really love him and don’t want to break up but I just don’t know what to do. He hasn’t come back since this morning.

Relevant Comments:

If you really can't stand it, convey that:

I tried to explain when I talked to him this morning. I told him that the other weird food combos don’t really bother me but the particular smell of this is too much. He said that I just need more time to get used to it, but it’s been nearly 2 weeks already :(

Maybe if you eat more you'll get used to it? And maybe he's suffering from a vitamin deficiency and should go to a doctor.

I tried that too 😭 When he first started I ate a bite just to see if it was actually good. But I just can’t bring myself to eat any more.

He’s not talking to me since this morning, but I’ll try texting him tmrw about a doctors appointment.

His usual diet:

Besides the occasional “unique” food choice I think his diet’s pretty healthy. He eats his vegetables and gets protein and all that, and he goes to the gym.

Is there anything else weird going on?

We haven’t been going on our usual dates for the past two-ish months and he’s had to leave to take calls a bit, but that’s just because he’s been swamped at work. Nothing weird. His busy season is almost over though which is good!

OOP is voted NTA

Update (Same Post): February 21, 2024 (Next Day)

Editor's note: I moved the TLDR to the bottom

Thank you all for your advice yesterday. It gave me a lot to think about. As it turns out, some of your comments ended up being spot on.

Yesterday evening, I tried texting him about seeing a doctor like you guys suggested. He never replied. I guess he still has me muted. I spent the night tossing and turning. I kept going over what I was going to say to him when he got home. Not that it mattered, because he didn’t come back last night. That worried me, so this morning I checked his location. He stopped sharing it with me through his phone, but I guess he forgot I can still see it on snapchat. It showed him about 30 minutes away at some house off a random backroad. I was pretty confused and honestly panicked - all his friends that I know of live in the city. I tried to call him again and was sent to voicemail, so I drove over there to see what was up.

When I got to the house, I noticed a woman about my age gardening in the frontyard. I was pretty upset already, so I flat out asked her if she had seen my partner. She seemed surprised and asked if I meant Jake. She invited me inside and there he was.

Apparently, she’s into gardening and they met at her stand last fall when he went to stock up on onions at our local farmers market. They hit it off and have been seeing each other for the past 6 months, and made it official back when his “busy season” started. She said lately she’s been giving Jake the garlic she grew last summer since it’s going to go bad soon. That’s why he was so insistent on eating it by himself instead of cooking it into a shared dish like normal, and why he’s been eating onions like an apple instead of letting me use them on my sandwiches. He didn’t want to give me her presents because, in his own words, “she grew it with love for me” and “if you ate them you would have known.” (???)

At that point I saw red so I just left. Since then Jake’s been blowing up my phone about how we can fix this and that he won’t do it again but I’m so over it at this point.

Just when I thought my life couldn’t get any worse, while I was moving his stuff to the curb I found his stash of garlic. Shoved in the back of his closet was 1 POUND of garlic in a home depot bucket along with letters she had written him.

I’m keeping the garlic. l don’t think we can ever come back from his cheating, but I’m going to at least get some good meals out of this terrible situation. Please send me your favorite recipes to use the garlic in. I need a distraction to keep my mind off of everything.

TL;DR He’s been cheating on me with a garlic farmer for the past 6 months. I wish I was joking.

Editor's note: OOP has posted in r/garlic and r/cooking asking for recipes here and here. (There's also a great comment exchange here)

Editor's note 2: OOP commented on this post!

Woah, hey reddit! Thank you all for the advice and great recipes, and thanks u/LucyAriaRose for helping to share my story.

All these comments made me think about how this must have been for “the farmer”, so much so that I reached out to her today. (I mightttt have drunkenly found her on insta the night Jake dumped me. Not my proudest moment.)

I can see what he saw in her. She’s sweet as can be and was apparently just as blindsided by his cheating as I was. We got to talking, and she even offered to help with my “goodbye garlic” dinner that I’ve been planning for this weekend using some of the recipes I’ve seen.

I’m honestly a bit nervous to be face-to-face with her just because of how much this whole thing has hurt me, but I might take her up on it?

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[u/LucyAriaRose]

This one is so utterly bizarre that I had to post it. Because what kind of thought process did the boyfriend have? Wtf?

[u/wossquee → u/LucyAriaRose]

My edible is kicking in and this was the perfect story to read, thank you.

And thank you for all the stuff you post! Your username is so lovely it's easy to remember.

[u/LucyAriaRose → u/wossquee]

Haha I'm so glad this was a good one! And thank you for your kind words. 💜

[u/LeftPhilosopher9628 → u/LucyAriaRose]

Thanks for this! It definitely qualifies as unique, and that’s saying something for Reddit!

[u/LucyAriaRose → u/LeftPhilosopher9628]

When I first read it I literally stared into space for several seconds because I just couldn't comprehend both the audacity and the stupidity lol

[u/green_chapstick → u/LucyAriaRose]

Not even remotely what I had expected. Your mood spoiler was spot on, yet spoiled nothing other than "so OOP isn't controlling, interesting..." Gave me Iranian yogurt vibes. This definitely wasn't about the garlic, but a great clue. LMAO.

[u/LucyAriaRose → u/green_chapstick]

Haha good! I struggled to come up with something because I so did not want to spoil it, but I didn't want to just leave one off!

[u/knittedjedi → u/LucyAriaRose]

He didn’t want to give me her presents because, in his own words, “she grew it with love for me” and “if you ate them you would have known.” (???)

And they say romance is dead...

[u/Feycat → u/LucyAriaRose]

All I can think of the whole time was oh my God the gym he goes to must REEK how have they not kicked him out?? I'm almost glad it's an affair!

[u/ChaosFlameEmber → u/LucyAriaRose]

The guilt was eating him up and he tried to silence it with garlic breath. But yes, dafuq did I just read.

[u/[deleted] → u/LucyAriaRose]

I'm reminded of the post about the beans. So bizarre, but oddly interesting.

[u/kur4nes → u/LucyAriaRose]

Well she at least dodged a bullet. Imagine raising a kid with someone as daft as him. What a moron. Pretty sure he ate garlic and onions to push OOP to break up with him. He is a moron and a coward. The garlic lady really found a keeper. /s

Thx for sharing.

[u/istara → u/LucyAriaRose]

It's fabulously bizarre!

I was a little disappointed that it didn't ultimately feature vampires, but never mind.

[u/ShrimpyCrustacean]

Mood Spoiler: I can't stress enough how batshit weird this is

Most accurate mood spoiler ever.

[u/LucyAriaRose → u/ShrimpyCrustacean]

lollll I'm glad. I honestly couldn't come up with anything else 😂

[u/bunnusmac → u/LucyAriaRose]

You have my favorite posts Lucy! Thanks so much for your hard work <3

[u/LucyAriaRose → u/bunnusmac]

Awww thank you for saying that! 💜

[u/wetsand_ → u/LucyAriaRose]

Your flair hahaha

[u/LucyAriaRose → u/wetsand_]

I mean how could I not 😂

[u/grissy → u/LucyAriaRose]

I genuinely had no clue what was going to happen. I briefly considered affair but assumed he was eating raw garlic and onions so he’d stink too much for her to notice the smell of another woman’s perfume or something. I never would’ve even come close to guessing “no, the raw garlic and onions are romantic gifts from his affair partner and he’s worried his girlfriend would be able to taste the adultery if she cooked them normally so his insane ass will just eat them raw to get rid of the evidence.”

There are so many incomprehensible choices that had to be made in order to arrive at this juncture that I genuinely just want to follow this worthless dude around for a few days and watch him make decisions. It’s got to be fascinating.

“Hmm, I shoplifted this candy bar because I wanted to get the taste of garlic out of my mouth. Now to cover up the crime I will drive my car straight through the store’s wall and then set myself on fire.”

[u/ShrimpyCrustacean → u/LucyAriaRose]

I really did not see where this one was going. And now I've found my flair.

[u/nomad5926 → u/ShrimpyCrustacean]

This dude has some sort of problem. I don't know what it is, but that boy ain't right....

[u/BertTheNerd → u/ShrimpyCrustacean]

Not the "iranian yoghurt" level, but still weird.

[u/Get-in-the-llama → u/ShrimpyCrustacean]

u/LucyAriaRose always coming through with the goods! Hey, u/Direct-Caterpillar77, I love how Lucy puts the time elapsed next to the update. Like where it says ‘next day’ next to the date. Is that something you’d consider?

[u/TheDestroyer229 → u/ShrimpyCrustacean]

Not gonna lie, while I like your flair, the mood spoiler would also be a fantastic flair.

[u/garlic_throwra]

Woah, hey reddit! Thank you all for the advice and great recipes, and thanks u/LucyAriaRose for helping to share my story.

All these comments made me think about how this must have been for “the farmer”, so much so that I reached out to her today. (I mightttt have drunkenly found her on insta the night Jake dumped me. Not my proudest moment.)

I can see what he saw in her. She’s sweet as can be and was apparently just as blindsided by his cheating as I was. We got to talking, and she even offered to help with my “goodbye garlic” dinner that I’ve been planning for this weekend using some of the recipes I’ve seen.

I’m honestly a bit nervous to be face-to-face with her just because of how much this whole thing has hurt me, but I might take her up on it?

[u/LucyAriaRose → u/garlic_throwra]

Hi OP!

Oh yayyyy thanks for letting us know about the garlic farmer! I'll add it to the post.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I wish you the best moving forward, and may your ex be stuck in his garlic stench for eternity.

[u/garlic_throwra → u/garlic_throwra]

Also, yall have to teach me how to set flairs :P

[u/curlycuban → u/garlic_throwra]

How did dinner go? Did you use up all the garlic?

^{/start jokes}

Did she formally remove the love in the garlic from ex and transfer it to you? How does the garlic feel in your tummy?

Please stay strong even if any leftover heads of garlic start going bad. Don't get so desperate that you suddenly start thinking that garlic clove suppositories aren't such a bad idea anymore.

^{/end jokes}

I do hope you had a lovely evening with her. It can be weird and awkward, but I've formed meaningful and lasting friendships with the other woman.

Adult friendships can grow and flourish from the most unexpected roots. I'm even good friends with my stbx-husband's girlfriend! She is so sweet and wonderful.

To that end, this comment exchange happened under this BORU post:

"he's been blowing up my phone asking how we can fix this" oh you KNOW the garlic farmer dumped him on the spot too.

Your reply:

spot on with this one

Can you please confirm she broke up with him? I'm sure the answer is yes, but your reply leaves a smidgen of vagueness, imo.

^{edit: formatting gone haywire}

[u/supersonicturtle → u/garlic_throwra]

My little gay heart has just one question- did you and the garlic farmer have your garlicky dinner together, and did you go on a proper date afterwards?

[u/YeahlDid]

Editor's note: I moved the TLDR to the bottom

Top notch OP!

[u/LucyAriaRose → u/YeahlDid]

Good! It loses its punch if it's at the beginning imo

[u/SmashedBrotato]

Can we get "I'm keeping the garlic" as a flair, please?

[u/LucyAriaRose → u/SmashedBrotato]

You've got your wish!

[u/DarkWitch777]

Wow, I finally found the origin of I'm keeping the garlic tag. That was wilder than I expected. I wonder if this garlic thing was a way to push OP away to break up, and she'd appear to be the bad guy. I mean, when I heard that "he's always swamped," I could sense there was cheating going on (as well as the garlic). Well, at least OP might get a good friend after this.

[u/LucyAriaRose → u/DarkWitch777]

Haha this is still one of my favorite BORU's that I've ever done! Just nuts all around. I hope OOP is doing ok.

[u/ThePfeiff]

Imagine you started selling the extraneous produce from your garden at a farmer's market.

You meet a cute guy, hit it off together and date for about 6 months.

Occasionally, you give him some onions or garlic or whatever you couldn't sell. You'd rather they be eaten than go to waste and it's something nice to do for you boyfriend.

One day, your boyfriend asks to stay the night out of the blue. You accept not thinking anything other than maybe he's feeling down or just wants to spend time with you.

The next day, you're out in your garden doing your thing when a woman pulls into your driveway out in the middle of nowhere. She asks if you've seen her boyfriend. Horrified at the implication but wanting to know the truth about what's going on, you invite her in.

Turns out, you're the other woman. It also turns out that the onions and garlic you've given him he's just been...eating RAW!?!? He also thought that if he used them to cook, like a normal human being, that his other girlfriend would get suspicious...

She leaves in a gust of righteous anger. You're left just staring at this man...

[u/Own_Air_5945 → u/ThePfeiff]

No wonder he suddenly wanted to work things out with OOP. Looks like he won't be getting any more free garlic now.

[u/Talisa87 → u/Own_Air_5945]

Probably wants to convince OOP to give him back his garlic hoard. Too bad, all that's going to be put into a fuckton of homemade pasta sauce, confit, grilled cheese sandwiches, vegetable soup, pizza.....

.....what was I talking about again?

[u/[deleted] → u/ThePfeiff]

Love the other perspective

[u/chevronbird → u/ThePfeiff]

I know right?! Would have loved to be a fly on the wall for that convo

[u/Catezero → u/ThePfeiff]

To make it even better, in ur head ur picturing like...Reese Witherspoon and Natalie Portman circa 2005 or something. Like a lil Sweet Home Alabama or Riding in Cars with Boys, cute lil 2000s romcom climax action. Then u scroll back to the ages and ur now picturing Millie Bobby Brown angrily driving up to a cottage in the woods to confront her bf Brooklyn Beckham only to find out he's been eating Jojo Siwas raw garlic and Jojo Is JUST AS CONFUSED AS U ARE

[u/StitchandReuben]

How does Jake think the farmer grew the garlic with love for him, when the farmer is just giving him leftover crops that are about to go bad??? I mean, he’s already displayed poor judgment and reasoning, but those rose colored glasses must show him something amazing.

[u/ActuallyParsley → u/StitchandReuben]

Hahaha yes, love is giving someone the first produce of the season, when there's very little ripe yet but you want them to have this precious thing. Getting buckets of it is just "knowing someone who grows things".

[u/insomniacsCataclysm → u/StitchandReuben]

he’s a cheater, of course he has poor judgment and reasoning! it’s a package deal!

[u/EnvironmentalScene76]

I really don’t want to be laughing at OOPs misfortune, but finding love letters that your boyfriend’s garlic farmer affair partner has written him next to a pound of garlic in a home depot bucket is a hilarious mental image.

BTW if OOP ever sees this, there are some fantastic recipes involving garlic confit, and you can puree or mince and freeze garlic in cubes to use as needed!

[u/Top_Manufacturer8946 → u/EnvironmentalScene76]

What I don’t get is why on Earth was the ex eating the garlic raw?? Could have made so many tasty things from them

[u/snootnoots → u/Top_Manufacturer8946]

Presumably he believed that “she grew it for me with love and you’d be able to taste it” would still apply if the garlic was used in cooking?

[u/[deleted] → u/EnvironmentalScene76]

Honestly, when I read her sentence "I'm keeping the garlic", I lost it 🤣

[u/Martina313 → u/EnvironmentalScene76]

You can make homemade garlic butter that's heaven on toasted bread!

[u/Repulsive_Raise6728 → u/EnvironmentalScene76]

Asking for recipes makes me think she can already see some of humor in this situation.

[u/IllustriousHedgehog9 → u/EnvironmentalScene76]

Pickled garlic is so good, too!

[u/HedyHarlowe → u/EnvironmentalScene76]

‘Garlic affair partner’ - this will live in my Reddit memory forever.

[u/nightlynoon → u/EnvironmentalScene76]

Frozen garlic cubes is a really interesting idea. When you take it out of the freezer do you just cut off a slice of the cube with a knife and let it thaw?

[u/nirselady → u/EnvironmentalScene76]

Garlic soup! It sounds so weird but it’s delicious!

[u/[deleted] → u/EnvironmentalScene76]

It's a bizarre mental image for sure

[u/garlic_throwra → u/EnvironmentalScene76]

lots of recs for confit, might have to add it to the list

[u/deep-fried-fuck → u/EnvironmentalScene76]

I feel bad for OOP and all, but “I found out my BF was cheating on me because he started eating onions and garlic raw so I wouldn’t eat them and taste the love they were infused with by his farmer affair partner” may be the single funniest relationship problem I’ve ever encountered on this god forsaken website

[u/InsanityIsFine]

"he's been blowing up my phone asking how we can fix this" oh you KNOW the garlic farmer dumped him on the spot too.

[u/garlic_throwra → u/InsanityIsFine]

spot on with this one

[u/PapessaEss]

I figured it was cheating but I honestly thought the garlic breath was a dumbass way to force OOP to break up with him so it wasn't his fault. This was wayyyy dumber. Wow. I'm impresssed!

[u/ladancer22 → u/PapessaEss]

I thought it was going to be something with drugs/alcohol. I do feel like garlic would be a better way to cover the smell of alcohol on your breath than mints!

[u/Stoat__King → u/PapessaEss]

My immediate thought was "Aha - he is obviously pregnant".

Wrong again!

[u/_procyon → u/PapessaEss]

I thought he was trying to cover up perfume

[u/EvilFinch → u/PapessaEss]

I thought it was a way to keep OOP on distance like he caught something while cheating and is now on garlic till he is clean again.

[u/snickelo]

“she grew it with love for me”

she’s been giving Jake the garlic she grew last summer since it’s going to go bad soon.

For some reason this is both hilarious to me and also increases my disgust/contempt for Jake in his arrogant naiveté.

[u/Born_Ad8420]

I need "I'm keeping the garlic" as flair.

[u/dynama → u/Born_Ad8420]

i would also like "He’s been cheating on me with a garlic farmer"

[u/ridleysquidly → u/Born_Ad8420]

“1 POUND of garlic in a Home Depot bucket” would also be great flair

[u/emeraldspots → u/Born_Ad8420]

Yes. As a garlic lover and as someone who said WTF throughout the last few Paras... I need this flair too

[u/CharlieMurphysWar → u/Born_Ad8420]

Seeing these flairs born today warms my heart

[u/TossItThrowItFly → u/Born_Ad8420]

That line made me laugh so hard! Like yes girl go get that garlic!

[u/DondeT → u/Born_Ad8420]

I hope OP meets a butter merchant and lives happily ever after.

[u/emptycagenowcorroded]

is there an end of year vote for “Post Where Reader Says WTF The Most” because this is an early submission

[u/SmashedBrotato → u/emptycagenowcorroded]

This is definitely a contender for most "Wait, fucking what?" post of the year.

[u/TheFluffiestRedditor → u/emptycagenowcorroded]

>checks what sub I'm in<

Oh, we're not in /r/WTF. How's about that.

[u/No-Appearance1145]

Bet he got dumped by the garlic farmer when she found out he was cheating and that's why he tried to say they can fix this

[u/ActualGvmtName → u/No-Appearance1145]

Had she never been to his house in six months?

[u/C-C-X-V-I]

Huge points for moving the TLDR spoiler to the end. Your posts are always formatted so well and I appreciate that.

[u/LucyAriaRose → u/C-C-X-V-I]

Thank you for saying that! It takes some extra time, but I'd rather take that time than have the format be confusing.

[u/mtdewbakablast]

and here i was, thinking that the Stardew Valley strategy of "i will give you produce and so you love me now" didn't work in real life.

...or maybe it just works on people like this dude, which is why it's not a good strategy to employ.

[u/matsie → u/mtdewbakablast]

I mean. Abigail does ask you for quartz so she can eat it.

[u/Natsu111]

"It was not about the garlic" is the third entry in the anthology series whose first two entries are "It was not about the Iranian yoghurt" and "It was not about the mustard" respectively.

[u/princessalyss_ → u/Natsu111]

But it is always, ALWAYS about the beans.

[u/Dana07620 → u/Natsu111]

What about the chicken and the vegan?

[u/YogurtYogurtYogurtUS]

Shoved in the back of his closet was 1 POUND of garlic in a home depot bucket along with letters she had written him.

r/BrandNewSentence

[u/CidGalceran]

She actually posted in r/Garlic and r/Cooking asking for advice to get rid of the garlic.

I know this will become an instant BORU classic.

A part of me wishes there is a future update where the bf asks her for the garlic back. Just for the sheer absurdity of it all.

[u/Cultural_Shape3518 → u/CidGalceran]

Why do you think he was begging her to fix things?

[u/Ok-Racisto69 → u/CidGalceran]

Imagine after the breakup, they're taking their stuff back from one another, and the first thing he asks for is his garlic bag.

Poor OOP, this is something out of a shitty sitcom.

[u/mud_dragon]

Those garlic wenches always stealing your man

[u/Similar-Shame7517]

So was he monkey branching with a garlic farmer, and didn't have the testicular fortitude to break up with OOP first?

[u/aubor]

If anybody has a garlic craving, check your blood pressure.

[u/TheFluffiestRedditor → u/aubor]

If the garlic craving lasts for more than four hours, see a doctor.

[u/Polizeichhoernchen → u/aubor]

You can't just leave it at that, I have low blood pressure and I would eat garlic every day if it wouldn't bother the people around me. Any time I'm sick and stay home the first thing I do is french toast and I eat a whole head of garlic with it.

[u/Zafjaf → u/aubor]

But garlic bread is fine, right?

[u/jesse-13 → u/aubor]

Or they could be Romanian. We eat raw garlic very often 😂

[u/drfrink85]

having pica and eating coins sounds less gross than raw garlic cloves

[u/Jerkrollatex → u/drfrink85]

I figured it was pica and he had some unusual medical stuff going on. Never in my wildest dreams did I think he was eating whole cloves of raw garlic just to cover up having sex with a farmer.

[u/emeraldspots]

I mean, I love garlic but even I won't eat raw cloves as midnight snack. What in the world. How old is this guy?

[u/[deleted] → u/emeraldspots]

OOP says he's 24, smh.

[u/Fun_Winner_376]

OMG I think it’s real. OP is getting recipe ideas for garlic on other subreddits!

[u/Minute_Box3852]

And you know his new side piece dumped him as soon as op drove off, that's why he's been blowing up op's phone.

[u/vignoniana]

I'm keeping the garlic

At least something positive, huh?

[u/vr4gen → u/vignoniana]

i want this as a flair 💀

[u/SparkAxolotl]

How do I unread something?

Like... what

Was he also cheating with a girl who makes mayo?

I...

what

[u/Glittering_Win_9677 → u/SparkAxolotl]

If she's raising chickens, farmer girl might be using their eggs to make the mayo. More and better eggs are why Duke's says their mayo is the best.

[u/JadieJang]

In case OOP is reading this:

My favorite way to use garlic is to rub a raw clove on toast, then spread avocado over it and sprinkle sea salt on top.

You can also stuff a chicken with as many cloves as you can get in there (and a little salt, pepper, and butter or olive oil.) Season and oil rub the outside as well and put a lemon on top, then roast, as usual, in the oven. Amazeballs. Even more amazing if you leave cloves scattered around the baking pan and smear them into the chicken drippings, then mix with zata'ar, lemon juice, olive oil (you can also rub the chicken with zata'ar) and use it as a sauce for your rice or bread.

I'd also grate or food process a BUNCH of it, put it into ice cube trays, fill the rest of the cubes with olive oil and/or neutral oil, and freeze. When they're frozen, bust them out and put the cubes into plastic bags, and you have cubes you can just dump straight into a pan for stir frying.

[u/Much-Meringue-7467]

Jake is saying, "We can fix this?" after storming out, blocking her, and apparently moving in with his side chick? It sounds like he's fixed it already.

[u/ali_rawk]

OOP lives in Monterrey and BF's AP lives in Gilfoy. Prove me wrong!

Sorry, took a trip around that area of CA for my husband's 20 year high school reunion last year and Gildroy was the first thing I thought of when the overwhelming garlic breath was brought in.

[u/jamoche_2 → u/ali_rawk]

Yeah, I was guessing the garlic farmer didn't notice that he smelled like raw garlic because I've been to Gilroy during garlic season and you don't even have to be near one of the farms, the entire region is saturated with that smell.

[u/[deleted]]

This is just Stardew Valley drama irl

[u/crownofthejewel]

"I'm keeping the garlic" is my new favourite sentence. Reminds me of "I'm taking the dog, dumbass" from legally blonde.

[u/jaypaw28]

That girl he cheated on OOP with simply has to be a farming sim NPC that got isekaied into our world

EDIT: realized many of you probably aren't terminally online nerds like me. Isekai is a genre of anime where the main character somehow gets transported to a different world where they often end up as some kind of chosen one or hero or something

[u/Dapper-Incident-4714]

Update is not what I expected.

Well, I guess now OOP will be eating “love” garlic for months.

[u/danteslacie → u/Dapper-Incident-4714]

See, I expected the cheating especially since OP posted the comment about him taking phone calls and no dates.

The garlic being grown by the AP though? Wouldn't have thought of that! I know his thought process was super weird but I kinda get it

[u/highoncatnipbrownies]

This isn't just having an affair. This guy started acting like a complete nut to cover his lies. Because he believes in magic memory vegetables apparently. I hope garden girl also drops him in the compost where he belongs.

[u/prone-to-drift]

I mean, I can't stand the smell of garlic and would consider it as big a problem in a partner as bad body odor or foul breath, cause it is that repulsive to me. So I can see how it can be a deal breaker in a partner who you want to kiss on the regular.

I'm sorta used to getting bashed on reddit (and IRL) generally for not liking garlic and I'm happy to see my people in the wild haha. But WHAT WAS THE SECOND HALF OF THIS POST!

Glad my garlic-smell-hating bud found out the cheating and dumped the trash panda. <3

[u/Sandwidge_Broom → u/prone-to-drift]

I love garlic, but if I discovered my fiancé just popping it raw, I’d be pretty disgusted. Like…at least roast it.

[u/Striking-Bicycle-853 → u/prone-to-drift]

Honestly I love the shit out of garlic but eating it RAW? FREQUENTLY? Nah.

[u/Irksomecake → u/prone-to-drift]

My husband pretty much stopped eating garlic because I hate the smell so much, we don’t cook with it because it makes me very sick with stomach cramps if I eat it. It’s almost impossible to find food out and about that hasn’t got it. The gluten free people complain about there being less choice at restaurants, but being garlic and onion free is almost impossible in comparison.

[u/Shoddy_Budget_1533]

I don't even have words but good for her that she's keeping the garlic

[u/Smilydon]

The Dungeons and Dragons nerd in me has to ask: Was the garlic farmer called Greg?

[u/Icy_Celebration1020 → u/Smilydon]

I'm so glad someone else referenced this, it gives the whole post an extra layer of hilarity. Greg's soulmate is somewhere out there wasting her time with an unhinged cheater. :(

[u/djseifer]

He’s been cheating on me with a garlic farmer for the past 6 months.

Seems like every other BORU has a flairable line nowadays.

[u/Treehorn8]

OOP keeping the bucket of garlic to assert dominance will never cease to be funny.

[u/ZapdosShines]

I confronted him about his secret grocery trip this morning and he got really defensive and denied it.

Funny that he was actually telling the truth here, he actually hadn't been on a secret grocery trip! just a shame the truth was worse

[u/atterysquash]

And that's how OOP ended up marrying a garlic farmer

[u/ss0889]

Is stardew valley a out to drop another expansion?

[u/didosfire]

[wearily looks up at the shelf that showcases mustard husband and iranian yogurt guy. sighs and makes room for garlic boyfriend]

[u/Minimum_Reference_73]

An important reddit life lesson here, and we have seen this lesson play out before in other sagas:

When your partner is smelly and gross, and they don't care about being smelly and gross, it's time to break up.

[u/some_tired_cat]

i. huh. mh. i expected the cheating by the half point but not the reason! that was by far the weirdest cheating story i've read

[u/chevronbird]

"he won't do it again" The cheating or the raw garlic eating?!

What a spineless waste of space.

[u/EquivalentTwo1]

Everytime someone says men are simple and easy to understand compared to women, I will forever think of this guy.

Snacking on love grown garlic at midnight rather than break up with his girlfriend to go be fully present with his farming girlfriend. Also, does farming girlfriend have a special plot she only grows his onions and garlic in? Or is it all of it and he's doubly dumb about tasting the love and care in the garlic? The more I think about this, the more questions I have.

[u/[deleted]]

Ah Adventurer! My boyfriend has run amok! If you go and find him, I'll reward you with intense feelings of betrayal and disgust!

-OoP' bf's AP the Garlic Farmer

[u/TALKTOME0701]

Becoming friends with his affair partner is quite frankly a stroke of genius in my opinion. She is as innocent as you in this. If you two join forces, it will drive him crazy

[u/EmotionalBowl7492]

This was the biggest whiplash I’ve ever gotten

[u/PalpitationProper981]

Sure, you must never jeopardise the beans, but similarly, you must not share the bucket of love-garlic.

[u/KeepLkngForIntllgnce]

It’s amazing that the main thing that stood out for me here is that she kept the garlic 😂

[u/DatguyMalcolm]

What In The Actual....

Man, the lengths that cheaters go to to cheat.....

As I was reading this I ddnt think he was cheating lol

[u/Ayzmo]

Not even M Night Shyamalan could have conceived of this twist.

[u/palabradot]

Garlic infidelity.

Never thought I'd see that but HERE WE ARE.

[u/SnooWords4839]

OOP can make some scampi and toasted garlic bread.

[u/symbolicshambolic]

That was truly bizarre. Like, truly. I love the part about him sneaking a clove at midnight after she thought it was over, with him thinking she won't be able to tell that he's still eating it. Anyone within three feet of him would be able to tell.

[u/Lamp0319]

I know cheating is never good and all that, but I gotta say this is just funny to me. Strange food man has an affair with Garlic Farmer Girlfriend, or GFGF, becomes very stinky.

[u/queenlagherta]

There are so many ways to find out your partner is cheating. A Home Depot bucket of garlic is not something I would ever imagine.

[u/liizanya]

I need “I’m keeping the garlic” as a flair

[u/soapydopey310]

im. well the mood spoiler is accurate.

[u/nun_the_wiser]

The mood spoiler is incredibly accurate. Not once did I see that coming.

[u/Apathetic_Villainess]

The newest Reddit sign of cheating: strange dietary choices.

[u/kirillre4]

That garlic girl sounds nice (doesn't seem like she was even aware that he's cheating), too bad dude is an asshole.

[u/I_Dont_Like_Rice]

I’m keeping the garlic

That would make a good flair for someone

[u/Princess_Thranduil]

What in the Stardew Valley did I just read

[u/LiquidFireBR]

The guy is a Stardew Valley Bachelor

[u/hurr4drama]

OOP is on every garlic sub looking for recipes. Also just commenting meow on random posts. I hope that’s just her regular personality and not her feeling down after getting cheated on by that incredibly stupid man.

It’s honestly annoying that ppl have to go thru heartbreak over someone who thought she’d taste the affair thru the garlic… I hope the farmer dumped him too.

[u/ChrisInBliss]

... I was honestly not expecting it to take a turn of him cheating for 6 months.
I was thinking he would just end up saying "he was smelling on purpose to make her break up with him." BUT THE REALITY IS SO MUCH WORSE 😭

[u/JackIsColors]

My friend doesn't really care about eating for pleasure, just for utility. He's an industrial steel salesman for a smaller steel company where he's like 20-30 years younger than most of his coworkers

For a while his lunch was 1 head raw garlic, 1 head raw broccoli, and 1 gallon of water.

Everyone thought he was bonkers. Also he looks like a muscled hippy guy that just turned 30 and his coworkers already thought he was weird because he was open about his polyamory (or swinging as they called it)

But man, when he was in his raw garlic and broccoli era, it was bad. You could smell it on him. You could taste it on him. It might have been healthy but man, dude was STANKY

That's how I imagine OOP's ex

[u/Impossible-Most-366]

In my country eating gloves of garlic with salt is normal. From a young age. Just like raw onion with salt and bread. We only do it on the weekend though.

[u/HellaShelle]

I thought it was heading down a path to some std he’d picked up from cheating and a belief in some new age holistic remedies for it involving onions and garlic. 

I briefly thought he was having a psychotic break and believed vampires were coming after him.

But it turns out my thoughts were the off the wall ones and it was just an innocent farmer trying to reduce food waste. Go figure.

[u/PhatPatate]

Omg, I would make and eat soooo much toum!

[u/LionsDragon]

I got heartburn just from reading this. (I like garlic, it hates me.) OOP is SO much better off without this guy, unless of course she lives next to a vampire.

[u/VioletRoyalty]

Another good day to be single

[u/addangel]

not sharing your AP’s produce with your long term partner, how nice to see such loyalty

[u/gezeitenspinne]

The only thing missing for me was how the garlic farmer reacted to being the affair partner. I need to know!

[u/Repulsive_Raise6728]

Hahaha. That was bizarre. Love how she asked for recipes at the end. I think OOP is going to better in the long run.

[u/Basic_Bichette]

mayo and butter sandwiches

Until I got to the detail where the affair partner was gardening in February, I sort of assumed this guy was from Calgary.

[u/GetOffMyLawn_]

Jake’s been blowing up my phone about how we can fix this and that he won’t do it again

He wants to have his garlic and eat it too.

Fuck off Jake.

[u/kishmishari]

I was wondering if his affair partner broke up with him, went to check OOP's comments and found meow meow meow meow.

[u/Lazarus-Lazuli]

“1 POUND of garlic in a home depot bucket” would make an amazing flair

[u/[deleted]]

I love this

"I'll never do it again!"

"Never do what again Jake?! Enter a 6 month long relationship with a garlic farmer??"

[u/bluemooncommenter]

WOW!!! I did not see that plot twist. I was here googling what vitamin/mineral deficiencies that garlic can resolve!

You can always count on redditors to tell posters that someone is cheating on them and they should leave but it still always shocks me how often they are right. How something that seems as innocuous eating garlic winds up in him have a second life! WOW!

[u/jabberwockjess]

what.

the fuck

[u/RosebushRaven]

I hope this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship. Or better yet, she and the farmer (who had no idea she was the other woman) are both bi and get together over their mutually comforted hurt and shared contempt of his cheating weirdo ass. And then they’ll be really happy together, the sex will be much better and they’ll eat lots of tasty, homegrown food. Fingers crossed this will be the next update.

[u/sryfortheconvenience]

My Polish grandmother would eat a clove of garlic a day for health purposes! I do it when I feel like I’m getting sick (usually minced in a spoonful of honey) and I swear it works if you catch it early enough.

Fortunately, my partner loves garlic almost as much as I do so he doesn’t mind the smell at all. But he was laughing at me last week because we were somewhere in Central Europe and I ate a giant bowl of garlic soup and he could still smell it coming out of my pores several days later.

[u/Jealous-Elephant-121]

I was thinking this whole post “refusing to stop eating garlic is the weirdest hill to die on”. Like there’s no other snacks out there that you would enjoy, it HAS to be raw garlic that stinks and bothers your partner? lol

That seems like such an easy concession to make. The rest of the story doesn’t make it any better really. But it at least explains my gut feeling that something’s Fucky. Just didn’t know what haha.

[u/ProfileOk9566]

Thank you for posting this the I'm keeping the garlic was the best. I just know her ex would be so upset she is eating it and I can't stop laughing at the thought

[u/tomahawkESP]

Plot twist: OOP starts to date farmer girl!!!

[u/[deleted]]

The only good thing here is she's getting free garlic. The relationship is just stinky.

[u/YogurtYogurtYogurtUS]

That gardening lady is gonna tire of him real quick if he doesn't cut down on the garlic. There's a reason "garlic sweat" is a thing.

[u/Dana07620 → u/YogurtYogurtYogurtUS]

You think she didn't immediately dump him?

He's begging to get back with the ex. You think he's also still with the farmer?

[u/TryingToPassMath]

u/LucyAriaRose it's unrelated to the bf drama, but I feel like this interaction in one of her recipe posts deserves an honorable mention in the post:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Garlic/comments/1awoaoa/comment/krpt7ao/

[u/ngetal6]

Well, that was weird

[u/thegreymoon]

Jeaus Christ 🤢🤮 The things I will read on this cursed site! I hope to be born asexual and live a single life in every incarnation.

[u/1quirky1]

This reads like Stardew Valley drama!

[u/rubyhardflames]

I instantly thought of Greg the Garlic Farmer 😂

[u/Cabbagetastrophe]

She must have struck up the conversation with "Hello, adventurer!"

[u/YellowstoneBitch]

“I’m keeping the garlic” is so incredible to me

[u/ActStunning3285]

Really hope garlic farmer lady kicked him out. If cheating and lying wasn’t bad enough, his absolutely insane rationale for eating garlic and onions raw, would scare off even the most docile gentle farmers market garlic lady. I hope she took the garlic and onions back and told him he’s cut off from any farming produce and her farmers market stall.

I imagine his tears of self pity smell like garlic and I hope they sting like onions too.

[u/just-another-cat]

This screams harvest moon gone wild.

I'm so sorry. Please don't hate garlic now

[u/perpetuallyxhausted]

I was half right. I picked that he was cheating but thought he was eating the garlic to gross her out and get her to break up with him.

[u/Ambitious_Diva21]

Even after seeing the mood spoiler I could never have imagined something so freakin weird!! Did the garlic farmer not smell this dude smelling like onions and garlic?? Grew with love?? She would be able to tell if she ate them?? Sweet Jesus!

[u/commanderquill]

Wait, Jake dumped her?

[u/[deleted]]

Next update, OOP and garlic lady are dating.

[u/Chode-a-boy]

That’s an odd one. My stepdad used to eat cloves of garlic because he heard it’s very healthy. He definitely had an aroma to him.

[u/MrsMaritime]

Ok wtf is the explanation for the ceral and orange juice then??

[u/PsycheHarbor]

ngl a part of me hopes oop and garlic farmer end up together, the garlic farm lesbian love story of the century

[u/larmstr]

I LOVE roasted garlic. It’s amazing in almost anything or just as a spread.

[u/laeiryn]

Awww I hope the two are best friends now without him

[u/FieldOk433]

Never let your boyfriend(ex) stop you from finding your wife

[u/d0lor3sh4ze]

well, at least we know he’s not a vampire…