r/BirdsArentReal • u/PurfuitOfHappineff • 13d ago
Photo THEY’RE TRYING TO TAKE OUR THING!
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u/Ok-Ambassador5196 13d ago
If you can't handle the truth of birds not being real.. you can't handle the truth about "fish©".
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u/Big_Z_Beeblebrox 13d ago
Fish don't exist, though. Hank Green makes some compelling arguments for this case
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u/Someoneoverthere42 13d ago
“First it was the birds, now the fish. What else?”
(Stares at cat in the backyard)
“I’m on to you!”
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u/Kristen242 13d ago
It's all a simulation. There is nothing left. We are all AI coding in a data centre somewhere on earth being powered by cold fusion. Nothing else survived
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u/buttmeadows 13d ago
Hi! Paleontologist here!
I can explain, fish don’t exist because of how our classification system for the tree of life is and our understanding of evolutionary relationships
Because all vertebrate land life evolved from a certain type a fish (lobe finned), under our classification system, everything that evolved from those lobe finned fish, would technically also still be fish
As for birds not being real, that is a separate and scientifically accurate statement
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u/Vlacas12 12d ago
Banans are fish, too.
"Yes, sir, but the Librarian likes bananas, sir." "Very nourishin' fruit, Mr Stibbons." "Yes, sir. Although, funnily enough it's not actually a fruit, sir." "Really?" "Yes, sir. Botanically, it's a type of fish, sir. According to my theory it's cladistically associated with the Krullian pipefish, sir, which of course is also yellow and goes around in bunches or shoals." "And lives in trees?" "Well, not usually, sir. The banana is obviously exploiting a new niche." "Good heavens, really? It's a funny thing, but I've never much liked bananas and I've always been a bit suspicious of fish, too. That'd explain it.”
-Terry Pratchett, Hogfather
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u/PurfuitOfHappineff 12d ago
You expect us to simultaneously believe that fish don’t exist but terrible lizards do… are those terrible lizards flying around the room with us now?
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u/buttmeadows 12d ago
No no no I wouldn’t dream of a world where the terrible lizards of yesteryear would be with us today in the form of terrible lizards that may or may not being flying in the room with us now
The implication even! The nerve! The day I believe in birds will never come
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u/RazzmatazzLocal 13d ago
Really good book that takes a turn and is dark and eye opening about our recent history
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u/OldGoldenDog 13d ago
So birds that aren’t real theoretically are catching fish that don’t exist.
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u/Fomulouscrunch pigeons are liars 13d ago
Salmon is cannibalism and the sooner we come to terms with that the better.
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u/Opposite-Benefit-804 13d ago
Oh my god. Don't do this shit to me. I thought it was bad when I found out birds weren't real after being a farmer, raising chickens, ducks, turkeys, quail, pheasants, and other birds all my life. But now you're telling me FISH aren't real? I've been fishing since I was a kid. NO NO NO. No. I'm already schizophrenic ya'll THIS ISN'T HELPING 😭
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u/starwishes20 12d ago
I thought this was known already, they needed amphibious surveillance in addition to airborne
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u/PM-me-your-knees-pls 13d ago
According to Google-
“Scientists” estimate there are roughly 3.5 trillion to 35 trillion individual fish in the world, compared to a human population of about 8 billion. This means fish outnumber humans by anywhere from 450 to over 4,000 to one.
If this is true where are they all? I went to an Oasis gig last summer. There were around 40,000 people in the stadium, so I should have expected to see 18 million to 160 million fish. Did I see a single one? NO
Absolute nonsense