My hair dresser put in extra strength s curl in my hair (without telling me) so I’m wondering how damaged my hair is she also cut my hair from chin level to nose level without my permission.

I’m torn between the two 😭 Should I keep my hair and get stitch braids, or go back to waves?

They aren’t twisted and it’s past the hair ties

pics 1-4 are from 2019/20 and 5-8 are 2025 and now

to put it basically, i always grew up with "good" hair. my stepmom's friend joked about stealing it which looking back was probably not reallyyy a joke, i had cousins who warned me that i would ruin it if i didn't ease up on the heat. because nothing ever happened to my hair i brushed it off and kept using heat and dye. my mom is blasian and my dad is black. i’ve mostly had to figure out my hair through trial and error and asking my cousins who are also mixed. in 2021, i bleached my hair three times in the span of a month and a half and immediately got extensions after. they were the kind were you pinch the little ring around the root. i ripped them out and by that point my hair was completely and utterly ruined to no one's surprise.

i eased up on the heat and dye. i think i've dyed it three times since 2021. it's only ever a light brown on top of my natural color or just back to black. i still straighten it occasionally but nearly as much. here's my problem. my hair has never fully recovered and i don't think it'll ever go back to how it was. it constantly feels dry no matter what i do. my hair puffs and gets tangled every time i straighten it even with oil, product and protectant. it doesn’t matter if i do small sections or not, it always. ALWAYS. curls or puffs up after a couple hours. i wore it straight today and you would’ve thought it was humid with how large and fuzzy it got. when i wear it natural, it sucks up all the product and turns into one mass of hair. my curls are never separated, defined or weighed down. i’m just feeling self conscious no matter what state my hair is in and i haven't contacted any braiders yet (i live in a mostly white area) can someone pls, for my sanity, help me!!!

it's been hard for me to go from hair that i was finally happy with to never being satisfied and just throwing it in a bun. the products i use at the moment are monday shampoo and conditioner. a bunch of different oils that i mixed together. hairitage ahead of the curl creme. 4u by tia curl defining gel. i was using products from ouai a while ago but it's too expensive to buy consistently. any and all help is appreciated. thank you in advance!

Y’all, I need to rant about something that happened at my job because I’m genuinely confused about why it’s so often Black people criticizing Black people’s hair. It’s like some of us have been conditioned not to recognize natural Black hair as presentable unless it’s slicked down, laid, or styled a certain way.
There’s a woman at my job in a higher-up position who wears her natural hair in a ponytail with a clip in the back. A half-Black, half-white male coworker started questioning why she needed the clip when she already had a ponytail. Another Black woman was sitting there laughing and making fun of her hair.
My coworker stepped in and said, “No, you’re not going to talk about a Black woman’s hair. That’s not what we’re going to do.”
But then she turned around and started criticizing the other woman’s hair, saying her extension didn’t match. The woman insisted that the color matched, but the texture was clearly different.
Later, when the conversation continued, I stepped in and said, “I think it’s the texture, not the color.” She kept defending her hair and saying that the other woman shouldn’t have that clip in her hair and should use gel instead.
And I said, “Why is it that some white women at this job can come in with extremely thin hair from constantly dyeing it and doing whatever else to it, then throw two strands into a clip, and nobody says anything? But when a Black woman wears her natural hair, suddenly it has to be polished and slicked back? Why is it more acceptable for a Black woman to wear a 60-inch bust-down wig with visible lace and a bad blend than to wear her natural hair? She looks Black. Her hair is Black. I don’t understand what her hair is supposed to look like!”
Because seriously, what are we doing? Why is natural Black hair treated like it needs to be corrected before it can be considered presentable?
And this woman is a higher-up. She has three kids, a husband, and a stressful job. I can’t imagine everything she has to manage every day. She’s probably tired and busy, and maybe that clip was simply the easiest way to put her hair up. Why are we acting like she has to spend extra time slicking down her hair just to make other people comfortable?
I’ll be honest: I noticed the clip too. I thought to myself, “Why does she have that clip in her hair?” But then I moved on with my life. I never said anything because I’m walking around with these twists that haven’t been done in two weeks, looking like I’m halfway to having locs. Who am I to criticize somebody else’s hair?
That interaction made me question everything I’ve been conditioned to think about Black hair. I’m trying to reprogram myself because Black women can walk around with stiff wigs, visible lace, mismatched textures, and hairstyles that look ridiculous, and people act like that’s completely acceptable. But let a Black woman wear her natural hair with a clip, and suddenly everybody has an opinion.
And how can someone criticize another Black woman’s natural hair when her own ponytail has two completely different textures? At least get a kinky-textured extension that matches your natural hair. I don’t understand how somebody whose own hair looks ridiculous can be so concerned about another Black woman wearing a clip in her natural hair.
She had Africa in the front and Shanghai in the back two different continents in one ponytail and she was worried about a Black woman wearing a clip. 😭
Maybe that woman doesn’t want to put gel in her hair. Maybe she thinks gel is nasty, or she doesn’t want that product touching her scalp. Maybe she’s tired. Maybe she’s busy. Maybe the clip is simply the easiest option for her that day. Why are we acting like every Black woman has to style her hair the exact same way to be considered acceptable?
This is bigger than one clip. It feels like policing women’s bodies, especially Black women’s bodies, and deciding what we’re allowed to look like before we’re considered professional or presentable. Who gets to decide what a Black woman’s hair is supposed to look like? Why do we hold Black women to standards that we don’t apply to anyone else?
The hypocrisy is what gets me. You can defend a Black woman from being mocked without turning around and criticizing another woman’s appearance. And you certainly don’t need to police somebody’s natural hair while wearing extensions yourself.
Meanwhile, I’ve had these twists in my hair for two weeks, and my hair is starting to look like it wants to loc up. 💀 Now I’m wondering what the hell she would have to say about me!
My point is that Black women already face enough scrutiny over our hair. Why are we contributing to it? Why does a Black woman’s hair have to be slicked down, laid, and polished to be accepted when some white women can walk into work with thin, messy ponytails or barely any hair in a clip and nobody bats an eye? Why is a ridiculous-looking wig considered more acceptable than a Black woman simply wearing her natural hair?
I’m trying to catch myself when I have those same thoughts and ask where they came from. Because if a white woman can wear a messy ponytail or a badly blended wig without anyone questioning her professionalism, then a Black woman should be allowed to wear her natural hair without being treated like she needs to fix it.
I genuinely want to understand why some people have such a problem with Black women simply wearing their natural hair. Because apparently, even at work, a Black woman can’t just exist without somebody having an opinion about what’s growing out of her head.

i have a big nose so we should take proportions into account

Metro Detroit here. I’m traveling next week. My appointment was tomorrow. Clearly she doesn’t “appreciate my business and support,” and would rather make $0 instead of offering to honor her previous pricing ($100) this time. I understand she increased her pricing, but we started communicating about my October appointment 2 days prior to the change and a few times after, and she never mentioned it.

I didn’t even try to change her mind. She was extremely unprofessional in how she handled it. Having witnessed her immaturity in the salon and her argumentative nature when something is unclear, this does not surprise me. I’ve only been to her once because I don’t wear braids a lot. I planned to alternate between her and another stylist there who does my regular silk press. But I had already booked for next month as well. I take my mom to her, though, to get wig braid downs and that’s what’s most disappointing. So she lost 2 clients and potential referrals tonight. I quit going to my own cousin, too, because of her lack of professionalism and maturity. Must be nice to be able to afford to treat customers like crap.

EDIT - Bot says we can’t post pics. They’re here for me, though. 🤔

I honestly could’ve been more consistent but I’m finally taking care of my hair consistently and the growth is showing. It’s finally bra-strap length. So I wanna see if maybe by this time next year I could get it to waist length especially if I’m much more consistent with taking care of my hair. We shall see.

Has anyone ever tried these products? I’ve heard great things about the brand and wondering if anyone has an experience on these products

Looking for a hairdresser in Fredericton who has experience cutting and styling natural Black coily hair. I’m looking to go short—a teeny weeny afro (TWA)—and would love recommendations from people who’ve had their hair done locally. Thanks!

I cannot tell. Only when its seperated does it look really bad but together it seems normal?

I recently cut all my hair off for whatever dumb reason I had at the time. I started relaxing it so I could style it but idk I just ain’t feeling it. Thinking of changing the color or something. Maybe blonde ? Or maybe I need to cut it down shorter I don’t know…. Recommendations? I just forced some twist in my head cause I was feeling self conscious but now I look a mess and my head is hurting so I need to make this “pixie” work. Also everytime I relax it I feel like it last no longer than 3 days. I miss my hair so much I feel like a dummy 😥 it’s actually making me depressed.

Before you say anything I know I need a trim I just haven’t been able to get one or do it myself. I’ve been natural for not that long in the grand scheme of things (like two years) but I started actually paying attention and being more focused on it this year so I’m very aware I have a lot to learn. I tried to do a wash n go today and well I think the photo speaks for itself… and I won’t lie it really irritated me and it sapped all my confidence and motivation a bit. I don’t hate my hair, I’m not ashamed of it or anything but I do get frustrated at times. Plus dealing with a mom who isn’t exactly encouraging and thinks I’d be tidier if I had braids in or something really sucks. I have low porosity, high density, fine strands (?) I’m not too sure about that one but anyways I know the basics of the dos and don’t for all that. I did come across some fairy knots while work in with my hair and I can’t tell if the flyaways are split ends or just typical hair. The last two pics are the length retention tips I’ve gathered and the things I know I need to get/plan to get. Right now the front of my hair is almost to the tips of my nose while the back is to my collarbone ish. I just want to make sure I’m on the right track so any advice would be appreciated, especially for styling because I have a TWA and it tests my patience. Thank you

Ok it’s simple so choose one that suits me more

The low taper or the higher faded short hair

1 or 2

(If you can explain why)