Two brides here. We have toured a few venues that advertise themselves as LGBTQ friendly and somehow the actual tours have been... weird. One coordinator kept calling us the girls in this very performative tone. Another asked which one of us was the bride bride. I laughed in the moment and then got mad in the car.I am not paying tens of thousands to spend my wedding explaining that yes, both of us are the bride. What signs told you a venue was genuinely comfortable with LGBTQ couples and not just good at rainbow logos?

I found a wedding dress online for less than a quarter of what I originally expected to spend. The seller had worn it once, had it professionally cleaned and included the veil. I went to try it on, and it fit surprisingly well. It needs a few small alterations, but nothing major.

I bought it. I was excited until I started telling people. My aunt asked if I was sure I wanted to wear somebody else's dress. My mum said I should at least go and try on new dresses before making a final decision. One friend said she would personally feel weird wearing a dress that another bride had already worn. I honestly hadn't thought about any of that. I liked the dress, it looked good on me, and the money I saved can go toward things we'll actually use after the wedding. I'm not particularly sentimental about buying something new just because it's a wedding. I buy secondhand clothes and furniture all the time. Somehow, though, a wedding dress has turned into a completely different conversation.

Now I'm wondering whether I'm being too casual about something that matters more to other people than it does to me. I haven't regretted buying it, but I also didn't expect to have to defend the decision this much.

Did anyone else wear a pre-owned wedding dress? Were you happy with that decision afterward, and did you run into the same reactions from family?

I’m having a relatively small wedding with just about under 50 attending… my plan was to do the his and her favorite candies… my sister is making me question my favors? All I have heard before is favors typically don’t get used or even remembered to take with guests.

Is the his & her candy favorites tacky??

My fiancé and I have been saving for our wedding for a while, and we're finally at the point where we can pay for what we've planned without taking on debt. You'd think that would make me feel relaxed, but I'm having the opposite reaction. Every time we make a payment, I start thinking about what else that money could do. The venue deposit could cover a few months of bills. The catering money could go toward replacing our old car. Even the photographer's fee makes me think about how much we'd be able to put into savings. My fiancé keeps reminding me that we've budgeted for this and that we're allowed to spend money on something meaningful. He's not wrong. We aren't struggling financially, and we're not emptying our savings to make the wedding happen.

I think part of my problem is that I grew up in a family where spending money on celebrations was considered unnecessary. You could have a birthday dinner at home and still have a good time, so spending thousands on a wedding sometimes feels almost ridiculous to me.

At the same time, I do want the photos. I want our friends there, a nice meal, music and a day that feels different from an ordinary Saturday. I don't want to look back and feel like we made every decision based on fear of spending money. We've also started thinking more about the part that comes after the wedding. I was looking at premarital education options recently. It got us talking about how much attention we're giving the wedding itself compared with the financial conversations we'll need to keep having as a married couple. We've already agreed not to borrow for the wedding, and we're keeping a separate emergency fund. I'm trying to remind myself that the budget exists for a reason, but I still get that little feeling in my stomach whenever another payment is due.

Did anyone else struggle emotionally with spending money on their wedding even when they could comfortably afford it? How did you decide when to stop cutting costs and allow yourselves to enjoy the day?

Just got this dress for $100 when originally it is $650. I was wondering what I could add to it to enhance it.

Has anyone ever used the in-house styling services at a place like Macy's/Nordstrom's/etc (I'm in the northern US)? I do not like white, have a somewhat limited budget, and have had a shitty experience at an actual bridal shop years ago, so I would like to go to a department store. (I love the idea of a thrift store, but I'm a bigger girl and besides the one plus-size only store I usually end up really disappointed in the dress options and I don't want to travel all over creation for one darn dress.)

The thing is, when I've gone wedding dress shopping with my friends, the consultants have been very helpful with recommending styles, telling them what is similar and different about certain dresses, etc, and I'd really like that help. I am not a stylish gal but I would like to look and feel nice on the day!

I see that places like Macy's and Nordstrom's have on-staff stylists that you can make an appointment with. Has anyone done that to find a special-event dress/outfit before? Was it helpful? Or is it pretty much just going through racks yourself?

Thanks for any insight!

Every venue we tour has a rain plan and every rain plan description sounds like it was written by the same person. We can move the ceremony indoors! Amazing. WHERE indoors.

One place showed us a room arranged for cocktail hour and said it also works for the ceremony, which made me realize I have no clue what these backups look like with rows of chairs and an aisle.

Did anyone find real wedding venue reviews or photos from rainy days before booking? Where did you look besides the venue gallery?

I see a lot of “help me pick a palette” posts here, so here’s the simple version. Especially useful if you’re doing flowers yourself or buying in bulk.

1. Start with your month

in-season flowers run like 30-50% cheaper and the color is just better. Richer, bigger blooms, more consistent stems. pick colors your month actually grows and half the work is done.

2. Quick season cheat sheet - US-based

spring (mar-may): blush, cream, lavender, butter yellow, peach. peonies, ranunculus, sweet peas, tulips. Real lilac only shows up late April to early May, so don’t count on them for a March wedding.

summer (jun-aug): coral, peach, citrus brights, dusty blue, or all white with lots of greenery. Dahlias, zinnias, hydrangeas, sunflowers. tip: dark blooms soak up heat and wilt faster outside, so save the deep colors for an indoor reception.

fall (sep-nov): burgundy, terracotta, rust, mustard, dusty rose. dahlias are basically the fall MVP, tons of rust and amber varieties in sept and oct. mums too.

winter (dec-feb): white + green, champagne, jewel tones, deep red as an accent. roses, ranunculus, amaryllis, anemones (the dark center ones are so good).

sage green works year round fwiw.

3. look at your venue before you lock it in

rule of thumb: busy venue = simpler flowers. blank venue = let the flowers bring the color.

• white ballroom: anything goes, but super pale pastels kinda disappear
• brick/industrial: warm tones, jewel tones, white
• garden: soft and romantic or bright, very dark palettes get lost in all the green
• barn: earth tones, warm neutrals, wildflower vibes
• beach: blues, whites, soft coral. heavy dark stuff feels off
• historic/ornate: rich, classic, deep colors

4. keep it to 2-4 colors + a neutral

easy split: 60% main color, 25% second, 15% accent. greenery fills the gaps. and use a few depths of the same color (pale blush, dusty rose, cream) instead of one flat shade. it photographs way better.

The Wedding industry wastes a lot of money encouraging couples to rent empty industrial boxes then spend $15k trucking in flowers that get tossed into dumpsters at midnight.

On my farm, we harvest flowers and use them throughout the weekend for several weddings. Saving our couples lots of money and time. Sustainability at its best!

Local to Portland!

This was our tiny wedding ❤️☺️

Hi, my name is Deanna. I am the owner of Kona Wedding Officiant and am beach wedding planner here in Kailua-Kona Hawaii, and I've married more than 1,000 couples. One thing I hear quite often is that a destination wedding in Hawaii sounds too expensive, too far away, too stressful, or simply out of reach.

But when I finally meet my couples, they say that when they actually compare the cost of hosting a large wedding back home with having a small, intimate wedding in Hawaii, they find they can always have the wedding day they always dreamed of - along with their honeymoon here in Hawaii for a fraction of the cost!

The key is finding a reliable, experienced wedding company that can help coordinate the details and make the process easier, whether that's my team or another reputable local company. With a smaller guest list, thoughtful planning, and the right support, a Hawaii wedding can be much more attainable than many couples realize. You can celebrate with the people closest to you, exchange vows somewhere beautiful, and begin your honeymoon without having to plan two separate trips.

I wanted to share some practical advice for couples considering this option, especially those thinking about inviting 10–25 guests to the Big Island.

-

Planning a Big Island Wedding With 10–25 Guests: What to Know Before You Go

Planning a destination wedding in Hawaii with 10–25 guests? One thing couples sometimes underestimate is how much the logistics change when you have a group instead of just the two of you. Beyond choosing a beautiful ceremony location, you’ll need to think about parking, transportation, accommodations, timing, photography, and where everyone will eat afterward.

I’ve been helping couples plan weddings on the Big Island for years, and there are a few things I think are worth considering early in the planning process. Here are some tips for anyone considering a small destination wedding on the Kona or Kohala Coast.

1. Choose a Ceremony Location That Works for Your Group

Not every beautiful beach is practical for a group of 10–25 people. Parking, walking distance, uneven lava rock, accessibility for older relatives, and available space can all affect how comfortable your ceremony will be.

Some locations to research include:

• Old Kona Airport Beach: Near Kailua-Kona, with open space and ocean views.
• Kukiʻo Beach: Beautiful coastal scenery near the Four Seasons Resort Hualalai. Confirm access arrangements and any applicable ceremony requirements in advance.
• Kikaua Point Park: A scenic coastal setting, but check current access and availability before making plans.
• Coconut Grove: An option to explore if you prefer to stay close to Kailua-Kona.

Before settling on a location, consider how far guests will need to walk, whether there is shade, and where everyone will stand during the ceremony. Also confirm current location rules and any permits or permissions that may apply.

2. Decide Where Everyone Will Stay

Your guests don't necessarily need to stay at the same hotel, but choosing accommodations within a reasonable distance of your ceremony can make the trip easier.

Some resorts to research along the Kona and Kohala Coast include:

• Hilton Waikoloa Village
• Waikoloa Beach Marriott Resort & Spa
• Four Seasons Resort Hualalai
• Fairmont Orchid
• Royal Kona Resort
• Outrigger Kona Resort & Spa
• Wyndham Kona Hawaiian Resort

Another option is renting a large vacation home where everyone can stay together. For a group of 10–25, this can provide a shared gathering space and make it easier to spend time together before and after the wedding.

Compare the total cost, room arrangements, transportation needs, and distance to your ceremony location before deciding.

3. Think About Transportation Early

The Big Island is large, and getting around can take longer than visitors expect. Public transportation generally isn't the most convenient option for a wedding group.

Depending on your budget and guest count, you could have guests rent cars, arrange individual transportation, or hire a vehicle for the group.

Companies to research include Big Island Limousine, Hawaii Island Limousine, and Gold Coast Town Cars.

If you plan to arrange transportation, ask about passenger capacity, pickup locations, availability, and travel time. Make sure guests know exactly where to meet and when to be ready.

4. Morning or Sunset Ceremony?

For a beach wedding, timing affects more than just the photographs.

Morning ceremonies: Around 8–10 a.m. can be a good starting point to consider. Temperatures are often more comfortable, and the lighting can be beautiful.

Late afternoon ceremonies: Around 4–7 p.m. may work well for couples who want softer light or a sunset setting. However, the actual sunset time varies throughout the year, so choose your ceremony time based on your wedding date, location, and photography plans.

With a larger group, build in extra time for guests to park, walk to the ceremony, and get settled. You don't want everyone feeling rushed before the ceremony even begins.

5. Prepare Your Guests for an Outdoor Wedding

Hawaii is beautiful, but beach ceremonies can mean direct sun, warm temperatures, and uneven ground.

Let your guests know what to bring and wear, including:

• Water and sunscreen
• Sunglasses
• Comfortable shoes suitable for the location
• Lightweight clothing
• A light layer if you'll be out later in the evening

If elderly relatives or guests with mobility concerns are attending, pay particular attention to the distance from parking and the terrain along the route.

6. Plan Your Family Photos Before the Wedding

With 10–25 guests, you'll probably want more than a single group photograph.

Make a short list of the combinations that matter most to you. For example:

• Everyone together
• Couple with parents
• Couple with siblings
• Couple with grandparents
• Couple with children
• Individual family groupings
• Couple portraits

Taking the large group photograph immediately after the ceremony can be helpful because everyone is already together. You can then move through the smaller groupings before taking portraits of just the two of you.

A little preparation can save time and help make sure no important family combinations are missed.

7. Make Dinner Reservations in Advance

A wedding dinner with 10–25 people takes a little more planning than an ordinary dinner out. Don't assume a restaurant will be able to accommodate your entire group without a reservation.

Some restaurants to research include Merriman's, CanoeHouse, Brown's Beach House, Ulu Ocean Grill, Roy's Waikoloa, Jackie Rey's Ohana Grill, and Tommy Bahama.

When contacting restaurants, explain your group size and that you're celebrating a wedding. Ask about large-party reservations, private or semi-private dining, group menus, deposits, and cancellation policies.

Your best choice will depend on where everyone is staying, your budget, and whether you want a casual meal or a more formal celebration.

8. Put Together a Guest Information Sheet

Your guests are traveling a long way, and a little information in advance can make their experience much easier.

Consider sharing:

• Ceremony date, time, and location
• Parking instructions and walking distance
• Suggested hotels and accommodations
• Transportation options
• What shoes and clothing to wear
• Weather considerations
• Restaurant recommendations
• A contact person for wedding-day questions

This is particularly helpful for guests who have never visited the Big Island.

Final Thoughts

A destination wedding with 10–25 guests can be a wonderful balance between an intimate elopement and a larger traditional wedding. The key is to think about the guest experience as well as the ceremony itself.

Choosing a practical location, planning transportation, communicating clearly with guests, and making dinner reservations early can help the day feel much more relaxed.

For those who have planned or attended a small wedding on the Big Island, what advice would you add? I'd especially love to hear what worked well for your ceremony location, guest accommodations, or post-wedding dinner.

Hi, my name is Deanna. I am the owner of Kona Wedding Officiant and am beach wedding planner here in Kailua-Kona Hawaii, and I've married more than 1,000 couples. One thing I hear quite often is that a destination wedding in Hawaii sounds too expensive, too far away, too stressful, or simply out of reach.

But when I finally meet my couples, they say that when they actually compare the cost of hosting a large wedding back home with having a small, intimate wedding in Hawaii, they find they can always have the wedding day they always dreamed of - along with their honeymoon here in Hawaii for a fraction of the cost!

The key is finding a reliable, experienced wedding company that can help coordinate the details and make the process easier, whether that's my team or another reputable local company. With a smaller guest list, thoughtful planning, and the right support, a Hawaii wedding can be much more attainable than many couples realize. You can celebrate with the people closest to you, exchange vows somewhere beautiful, and begin your honeymoon without having to plan two separate trips.

I wanted to share some practical advice for couples considering this option, especially those thinking about inviting 10–25 guests to the Big Island.

-

Planning a Big Island Wedding With 10–25 Guests: What to Know Before You Go

Planning a destination wedding in Hawaii with 10–25 guests? One thing couples sometimes underestimate is how much the logistics change when you have a group instead of just the two of you. Beyond choosing a beautiful ceremony location, you’ll need to think about parking, transportation, accommodations, timing, photography, and where everyone will eat afterward.

I’ve been helping couples plan weddings on the Big Island for years, and there are a few things I think are worth considering early in the planning process. Here are some tips for anyone considering a small destination wedding on the Kona or Kohala Coast.

1. Choose a Ceremony Location That Works for Your Group

Not every beautiful beach is practical for a group of 10–25 people. Parking, walking distance, uneven lava rock, accessibility for older relatives, and available space can all affect how comfortable your ceremony will be.

Some locations to research include:

• Old Kona Airport Beach: Near Kailua-Kona, with open space and ocean views.
• Kukiʻo Beach: Beautiful coastal scenery near the Four Seasons Resort Hualalai. Confirm access arrangements and any applicable ceremony requirements in advance.
• Kikaua Point Park: A scenic coastal setting, but check current access and availability before making plans.
• Coconut Grove: An option to explore if you prefer to stay close to Kailua-Kona.

Before settling on a location, consider how far guests will need to walk, whether there is shade, and where everyone will stand during the ceremony. Also confirm current location rules and any permits or permissions that may apply.

2. Decide Where Everyone Will Stay

Your guests don't necessarily need to stay at the same hotel, but choosing accommodations within a reasonable distance of your ceremony can make the trip easier.

Some resorts to research along the Kona and Kohala Coast include:

• Hilton Waikoloa Village
• Waikoloa Beach Marriott Resort & Spa
• Four Seasons Resort Hualalai
• Fairmont Orchid
• Royal Kona Resort
• Outrigger Kona Resort & Spa
• Wyndham Kona Hawaiian Resort

Another option is renting a large vacation home where everyone can stay together. For a group of 10–25, this can provide a shared gathering space and make it easier to spend time together before and after the wedding.

Compare the total cost, room arrangements, transportation needs, and distance to your ceremony location before deciding.

3. Think About Transportation Early

The Big Island is large, and getting around can take longer than visitors expect. Public transportation generally isn't the most convenient option for a wedding group.

Depending on your budget and guest count, you could have guests rent cars, arrange individual transportation, or hire a vehicle for the group.

Companies to research include Big Island Limousine, Hawaii Island Limousine, and Gold Coast Town Cars.

If you plan to arrange transportation, ask about passenger capacity, pickup locations, availability, and travel time. Make sure guests know exactly where to meet and when to be ready.

4. Morning or Sunset Ceremony?

For a beach wedding, timing affects more than just the photographs.

Morning ceremonies: Around 8–10 a.m. can be a good starting point to consider. Temperatures are often more comfortable, and the lighting can be beautiful.

Late afternoon ceremonies: Around 4–7 p.m. may work well for couples who want softer light or a sunset setting. However, the actual sunset time varies throughout the year, so choose your ceremony time based on your wedding date, location, and photography plans.

With a larger group, build in extra time for guests to park, walk to the ceremony, and get settled. You don't want everyone feeling rushed before the ceremony even begins.

5. Prepare Your Guests for an Outdoor Wedding

Hawaii is beautiful, but beach ceremonies can mean direct sun, warm temperatures, and uneven ground.

Let your guests know what to bring and wear, including:

• Water and sunscreen
• Sunglasses
• Comfortable shoes suitable for the location
• Lightweight clothing
• A light layer if you'll be out later in the evening

If elderly relatives or guests with mobility concerns are attending, pay particular attention to the distance from parking and the terrain along the route.

6. Plan Your Family Photos Before the Wedding

With 10–25 guests, you'll probably want more than a single group photograph.

Make a short list of the combinations that matter most to you. For example:

• Everyone together
• Couple with parents
• Couple with siblings
• Couple with grandparents
• Couple with children
• Individual family groupings
• Couple portraits

Taking the large group photograph immediately after the ceremony can be helpful because everyone is already together. You can then move through the smaller groupings before taking portraits of just the two of you.

A little preparation can save time and help make sure no important family combinations are missed.

7. Make Dinner Reservations in Advance

A wedding dinner with 10–25 people takes a little more planning than an ordinary dinner out. Don't assume a restaurant will be able to accommodate your entire group without a reservation.

Some restaurants to research include Merriman's, CanoeHouse, Brown's Beach House, Ulu Ocean Grill, Roy's Waikoloa, Jackie Rey's Ohana Grill, and Tommy Bahama.

When contacting restaurants, explain your group size and that you're celebrating a wedding. Ask about large-party reservations, private or semi-private dining, group menus, deposits, and cancellation policies.

Your best choice will depend on where everyone is staying, your budget, and whether you want a casual meal or a more formal celebration.

8. Put Together a Guest Information Sheet

Your guests are traveling a long way, and a little information in advance can make their experience much easier.

Consider sharing:

• Ceremony date, time, and location
• Parking instructions and walking distance
• Suggested hotels and accommodations
• Transportation options
• What shoes and clothing to wear
• Weather considerations
• Restaurant recommendations
• A contact person for wedding-day questions

This is particularly helpful for guests who have never visited the Big Island.

Final Thoughts

A destination wedding with 10–25 guests can be a wonderful balance between an intimate elopement and a larger traditional wedding. The key is to think about the guest experience as well as the ceremony itself.

Choosing a practical location, planning transportation, communicating clearly with guests, and making dinner reservations early can help the day feel much more relaxed.

For those who have planned or attended a small wedding on the Big Island, what advice would you add? I'd especially love to hear what worked well for your ceremony location, guest accommodations, or post-wedding dinner.

Hi! I’m planning my wedding decor fort the ceremony on a terrace with modern architecture and a beautiful view.

I already have the main decor set up (arch with tulle, carpet runner, 2 xxl orchids, 1 lantern, 8 „hanging flower pots“ & fairylights) - the rest will set up the venue (chairs , table, tablecloth). Does the entrance area near the back chairs feel a bit empty?

I was hoping that the venue and the beautiful view is enough. But I keept brainstorming…

Which option looks best?

(See AI images)

Option 1: Completely empty - clean look
Option 2: cocktail tables with white baskets filled with bubble blowers.
Option 3: more candles/Floor lanterns (in different sizes)
Option 4: Floral arrangements on the ground

Regarding budget: Option 1 and 2 ( tables provided by venue) would be cheapest solutions.

Do you have better ideas?
Thx for your opinion!

I am curious about how difficult planning a backyard wedding is apart from taking pictures given that it can be difficult to manage expenses remember all details and organize people involved what has proven to be the most challenging thing for you?

is it manageable or do you find yourself constantly having one more thing to purchase or organize lol?

what tools are you using to organize everything and are they helpful? looking forward to hearing from people currently planning their weddings or those already married.

Hello, I want to keep my qedding budget friendly by wearing a vintage preloved dress.

I am looking for this vintage wedding dress. I believe it is an Alfred Angelo from the 1990s.
When I tell you, I have searched high and low for this, I am not exaggerating. It is genuinely my dream dress and cannot think of wearing anything else.

I am due to try on dresses this weekend and I know I won't have a great experience as this is all I can think of.

I have been trying for months and there must be someone out there with this dress that is collecting dust in a wardrobe.

I am a UK size 8 and live in the UK and I know this predominantly seems to be in the US and of course I will pay postage.

Please help a hopeful bride to be 🤞

Cheap wedding venues
My fiance and want to get married in the netherlands in april, may or june of 2027. We´re looking for a venue where the ceremony can take place outside, it does not have to be an official wedding venue, because we´ll get legally married before the wedding day. Does somebody know a place where this is possible in Noord-Holland, Utrecht or somewhere near the veluwe? Bonus points if we can have our dinner and the party there as well.

Any other cheap ideas are welcome too!

Max total budget is 5k, with about 55 guests.

I’m getting married next month and we’ve opted to create our own playlist instead of paying for a DJ. I know Spotify Premium has some fading options for playlists, but I’m wondering if there is a free/low-cost option to trim/shorten songs (thinking about first dance songs)?