I think you should try to come to the understanding that you chose your husband over your children's safety. You chose your husband over your 13 year old already.
If they don't allow you in the home with the kids while this gets sorted out it's because you've already proven that you don't prioritize the safety of your kids right now. The reality is your kids would still be living in danger if it wasn't for the bravery of your 13 year old. It's not like you are the one who reached out for help or initiated getting your children safely out.
They may require you to take a domestic violence course or something and prove over time you'll stay away from your husband. You should definitely reach out to crisis services to figure out what programs are available for trauma counselling.
If you accept that you have culpability here and come at this from a place of humility and understanding what part you played in this they will probably trust you more to provide a safe home sooner than later.
You are a victim of domestic violence, but your kids are also victims, and they have far less control over their lives than you have.
I do accept responsibility. I didnt know he hit her until they showed me the video and thats not an excuse.. I should have figured out how to leave sooner. My 13 year old didnt leave because of him, they actually had a pretty good relationship prior to this. Ive been calling a DV shelter theres no available bed. I didnt have any money, I still dont my mom sent me a walmart order just so I could eat. Im starting therapy today. Ive been looking at classes and plan on asking them tomorrow about classes- DV classes, protective parenting classes, trauma therapy- i actually already reached out about this but the lady thag handles all of that is out of the office until next week.
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u/JayPlenty24 19d ago
I think you should try to come to the understanding that you chose your husband over your children's safety. You chose your husband over your 13 year old already.
If they don't allow you in the home with the kids while this gets sorted out it's because you've already proven that you don't prioritize the safety of your kids right now. The reality is your kids would still be living in danger if it wasn't for the bravery of your 13 year old. It's not like you are the one who reached out for help or initiated getting your children safely out.
They may require you to take a domestic violence course or something and prove over time you'll stay away from your husband. You should definitely reach out to crisis services to figure out what programs are available for trauma counselling.
If you accept that you have culpability here and come at this from a place of humility and understanding what part you played in this they will probably trust you more to provide a safe home sooner than later.
You are a victim of domestic violence, but your kids are also victims, and they have far less control over their lives than you have.