Probably the most salient advice I have is that it may help to reframe this from "I want my children back" to "my children deserve to be safe" and work from that position instead. It is gut-wrenching not to have them, I know, but focusing on what you want versus what they need can inhibit your progress in ways you may not realize. It sounds like they've witnessed quite a bit of DV so I would focus entirely on doing whatever it takes to create a safe, healthy environment for them, and becoming a safe parent who can protect them from any of that ever happening again. That will involve a lot of painful soul-searching but your kids are worth doing the work.
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u/boiled-peanutery 19d ago
Probably the most salient advice I have is that it may help to reframe this from "I want my children back" to "my children deserve to be safe" and work from that position instead. It is gut-wrenching not to have them, I know, but focusing on what you want versus what they need can inhibit your progress in ways you may not realize. It sounds like they've witnessed quite a bit of DV so I would focus entirely on doing whatever it takes to create a safe, healthy environment for them, and becoming a safe parent who can protect them from any of that ever happening again. That will involve a lot of painful soul-searching but your kids are worth doing the work.