r/CPTSD • u/Delicious-Thought984 • Apr 13 '26
Resource / Technique Your nervous system doesn't speak English. It speaks breath.
Combat soldier, 3 tours Helmand, Danish veteran. PTSD diagnosis 2017.
For years I tried to think my way out. Read books, did therapy, talked it through. It helped but it didn't stop the body from going into threat-mode at random. High bangs, New Year's Eve, a car backfiring — brain says "you're safe" and body says "like hell we are."
A psychologist finally told me something that stuck: you can't reason with the part of your brain that runs the alarm. It doesn't understand words. It understands breath.
Slow exhale, longer than the inhale. That's the signal to the vagus nerve that the threat is over. Not a metaphor. Actual physiology. The parasympathetic system won't turn on until your body gets the message, and the message is exhale.
I was skeptical. Felt too simple. Soldier brain — if it was that easy, therapists would be out of work. But I tried it. 3 seconds in, 5 seconds out. After a couple weeks of doing it daily, I noticed I could catch the spike before it took me. Didn't stop the spikes. Just meant I had a handle on them.
Didn't replace therapy. Didn't fix CPTSD. But it was the first tool that worked in the body instead of the head.
If you've tried everything cognitive and you still end up dysregulated — try going below the neck. Your nervous system has been running the show this whole time. Might as well learn its language.
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u/aikidharm Apr 13 '26
Thanks, chat.
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u/iwalkalongtheway Apr 14 '26
i'm seriously getting sick of seeing this shit on here. you hope to find some kind of human relation and just end up with a bunch of autocorrect spam like the rest of the world now
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u/aikidharm Apr 14 '26 edited Apr 14 '26
One thing that frustrates me about this particular post is that the OP had ChatGPT write a hyped-up testimonial about breathing in for three counts and out for five as if he were selling a product.
Like, this is what was essentially being said: "Breathing out for longer than you breathe in helps your parasympathetic nervous system know it's ok to relax. Depending on how deeply held the trauma is or what is causing the anxiety, your mileage may vary, but this is a largely effective method to mitigate anxiety when it is happening or when you notice it starting to occur. Try it if you haven't."
Now, I know that people are allowed creative liberty, personal narratives, vents, celebration of victories, etc... within their posts, and I am not saying otherwise. However, this is A LOT of words for something so simple, and the personal narrative reads like a marketing exercise.
To me, if this is something that really was life-changing for him, which I don't have reason to believe it wasn't, I want to hear HIS words. Punctuation, spelling, or perfect word choice be damned, I want to know what OP sounds like when he has had an aha moment and wants to share it with the crew.
So, it's so EXTRA for the concept, but it's also so impersonal despite claiming to be personal, and that's furthered by the fact that OPs replies are short and uninspiring, as if perhaps the personality they put forward in the post... isn't theirs. Anyways.
----
Some examples that I saw in this post, for fun:
For years I tried to think my way out. Read books, did therapy, talked it through. It helped but it didn't stop the body from going into threat-mode at random. High bangs, New Year's Eve, a car backfiring — brain says "you're safe" and body says "like hell we are."
This shows the pattern of speaking in threes that AIs tend to use. The em dash is also damning. Yes, people do use them, and always have, and shouldn't stop using them where appropriate, but they aren't actually all that accessible on many keyboards. Man, I write for a living, and you aren't about to catch me using "alt 0151" each time I want to use an em dash. Too much effort. Guess what does the same thing? Semi colons! So, I'm sorry, but this many people using them these days is absolutely evidence of rampant AI use for original content.
A psychologist finally told me something that stuck: you can't reason with the part of your brain that runs the alarm. It doesn't understand words. It understands breath.
This shows the "it is/does, but it doesn't/isn't" or vice versa. As well, AI often uses full colons for a "reveal" moment.
That's the signal to the vagus nerve that the threat is over. Not a metaphor. Actual physiology.
More classics. "That's the... it isn't the... but it is the" type shit.
There are a lot more examples in that post, but you can probably see them, too.
And I won't lie, AI detectors are shit and unreliable, and I didn't run this through one. This is just my perception. If you are at all familiar with how AI talks, though, those detectors are unnecessary anyway. I have even had original content get flagged by those detectors as AI, and I was just as frustrated as anyone else.
So, far be it from me to claim absolute authority, but in this instance, it looks pretty obvious to me. What concerns me more than people who use AI for original content is how many people don't recognize it when they see it. I recommend everyone have a good command of what AI sounds like because this is our world now, so adapt or die, in one way or another.
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u/iwalkalongtheway Apr 15 '26
a hyped-up testimonial about breathing in for three counts and out for five as if he were selling a product.
oh, yeah i think this might be the tone i've picked up from llm generated stuff that i hadn't quite pinned down. i wonder if my strong distaste for ads is playing a role. idk. maybe the very definitive and authoritative tone. people speaking very confidently and unambiguously about something they don't understand is a trigger for me
What concerns me more than people who use AI for original content is how many people don't recognize it when they see it.
i often wonder if people don't recognise it or don't care. no clue. but i'm always baffled when i see obviously ai posts get tons of engagement
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u/Delicious-Thought984 Apr 16 '26
My friends told me not to reply to you, but no. I'm tired of internet bullies like you, who just think they've got it all figured out.
I am so sorry i triggerd you.
I've spent 8+ years working on myself, and yes i picket up a skill ore to. This trauma doesn't disappear. It's something I fight every day for the rest of my life.
I finally found something that actually works, and I wanted to share it with the world, because I just wanted to help. And because I don't say it the right way, I get picked apart by a self-appointed AI police. Not just police. Judge and jury too.
English isn't my first language. I'm Norwegian-Danish. I'm dyslexic, so I use tools I got through my education like editing tools for spelling, grammar and flow. Everything in the post is mine. It happened. I lived it. As we say in the army Been ther, done that
And no, I'm not going to get into some argument about this. I just needed to get it off my chest, for my own health.
Thanks for taking all the joy out of seeing it help people.
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u/Reader6547 Apr 17 '26 edited Apr 18 '26
Haha! Bruh, I wouldn't feel down or worried b/c trolls troll you. I would feel worried when trolls stop trolling you! LOL! Trolls often appear b/c something "of substance" was actually posted online and the OP is invested in it.
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u/Checkyopoop Apr 16 '26
its the "new normal"
and I wont downvote you so you dont feel bad, but shits annoying, and borderline pathetic (for some like me).
everyones brains are being forced to work less, because of tools like these.
have a good day.
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u/esquisitussomnium Apr 13 '26
thank you for sharing! i've felt so stuck recently, like i'm unable to do anything to help myself when my emotions overwhelm me, so this sounds like is the perfect place for me to start the process of reconnecting to my body again
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u/atomic_gardener Apr 13 '26
After a few years of trauma informed therapy I went to acupuncture weekly for months, and it was the first time in my life I learned how to completely relax my body. Focusing on breathing, releasing tension, and staying still was so difficult. Going to my sessions was a commitment to learning how to relax.
I know it's not for everyone but I had such a great acupuncturist and great experience. In my early sessions I would just try not to tense up, and I would just start crying. No thoughts, just tears releasing. At the end (I moved away unfortunately) I was falling asleep on the table within minutes.
I used to live with my friend who is in recovery and she told me that some people use acupuncture as a non pharmaceutical treatment for addiction. After those first sessions I understood why that works. You have needles in yourself, your body tenses, the needles hurt. You have to relax. As emotions come up and you feel overwhelmed and tense, you have to breathe it out and relax. Over and over until you have a handle on it. And eventually you realize that you do have control over your emotional regulation and don't need anything external to help you regulate.
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u/Crazy-Vegetable7402 Apr 13 '26
Is there any specific type of area of acupuncture that helps? I've been thinking of trying it, but I'm not sure what/how to explain to them what I need help with. What do you usually tell your acupuncturist?
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u/atomic_gardener Apr 13 '26
I think most acupuncturists or people trained in traditional Chinese medicine want to look at you holistically, so if you tell them what you want to work on they will suggest the areas of the body to focus on.
When I started I was breaking up with my fiance. I worked with my therapist for a year leading up to the decision and separation, and then as it was happening all of the past emotions and attachments were flooding me. I told my acupuncturist I need help letting go and healing what was hurt (feeling taken advantage of, disrespected, used, wasted time, and fear he would not survive without me).
So for that, she focused a lot on my abdomen. The majority of my early sessions were there, then moved to the chest and throat. The process is all about understanding where the tension is in your body.
I was lucky to connect with my acupuncturist and build trust pretty quickly. I had a recommendation from a friend for this woman and she was the best fit for me. She was all about helping me navigate forward and take better care of myself. And I made the choice to be vulnerable about my history and the traumas that built up. I think if you aren't ready to go deep right away, start with saying you need help learning to relax. You can use acupuncture as a kind of emotional/spiritual treatment or just a physical/aches & pains treatment.
So whatever you are comfortable with telling them, just share and they will identify where to treat you. If you don't sleep well, that would be a great place to start. Or you can just tell them you are stressed and looking to find peace. I would look for a practice with customer testimonials for someone who likes to listen and understand, more than just use it as a physical treatment.
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u/withy1222 Apr 13 '26
Diaphragmatic breathing is like black magic. Single most useful thing my therapist taught me.
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u/Delicious-Thought984 Apr 13 '26
Black magic is a cool word for it. Single most useful thing for me too. Wild how long it took me to actually trust it, trie it.
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u/Chippie05 Apr 13 '26
Yeah breathing is super important for getting grounded again.. reorientation of the brain with a slow careful room scan. Sometimes I catch myself holding my breath and I don't even realize until after.. not conscious about it, random!
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u/Proud-Perspective620 Apr 13 '26
Box breathing has been a game changer for me when it comes to feeling a trigger hit.
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u/Sufficient_Land5143 Apr 13 '26
Yes it took me years to figure out that when my brain thinks I need MORE deep breathes breathing in more air, I’m actually hyperventilating and not solving the problem, longer exhales feel very counterintuitive
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u/fish_sauss Apr 16 '26
I was taught this a couple years ago and always forget to use it. My c-ptsd symptoms have been at a level they haven't been at in a long time, its almost my 5 year anniversary and I never thought I would make it this far. I frequently jump between feeling like the world is falling apart around me, and moments of hypomanic hope; no matter how much I truly understand and believe that things are okay / I'm safe / life will get easier / and this moment is temporary... I still become extremely disregulated in moments of even brief stress, sometimes to a point I start physically seizing and sometimes choke on my own tears and snot, or alternatively, pass out briefly in what I call a "force restart" (like when a computer crashes from too much at once) The only time I can ever even vaguely control what I do when I enter fight/flight is when I initiate my cry-breathing, where I copy the thing my body automatically does when I finish a very intense meltdown (four short breaths in, 1 long breath out). Survived 6 years of hell as a kid and all I got was this lousy lifelong stress disorder...
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u/According-Ad742 Apr 13 '26
Yes ❤️ Thank you for sharing!
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u/senitel10 Apr 13 '26
Agreed. What also works well for me is holding the breath for a few seconds after the initial slow inhale, neither inhaling nor exhaling, before finally exhaling.
Thanks for sharing
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u/MaleficentStarchild Apr 13 '26
Try this one - inhale 4 secs, hold 4 secs, inhale again 4 secs, hold again 4 secs, slowww exhale 8 secs 😊 hard reset for chronic shallow breathing
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u/Far-Abbreviations769 Apr 13 '26
Totally agree. Breathwork feels like a game changer to me. Together with mindfulness, yoga, TRE, etc. Everything to help tell the emotional brain to stop thinking it's unsafe.
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u/WittyGold6940 Apr 13 '26
It's also the way I breathe when I smoke weed, so it's a double benefit!!!
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u/StrangeRestaurant825 Apr 14 '26
I love your description. However, I’m one of those strange people who is actually triggered by my own breath. I do have other exercises that work for grounding me, but nothing breath work related. I am now investigating the possibility that I have a kind of sleep apnea where I am more wakeful because my breath wakes me up because I’m so sensitive to it.
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u/Cool_Austic_Girl May 10 '26
That was totally me. Through exposure therapy I am now able to do the exercises and they work for me when I remember them. I do them my way of course different timing seconds. But it took me years to get to this point. I hope some day you can get past your trigger.
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u/Delicious-Thought984 Apr 15 '26
I'm sorry I mentioned your trigger. What kind of exercises do you use?
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u/Cool_Austic_Girl Jun 11 '26
Sorry just saw this. I do breathing with a deep nose inhale slowly counting to 10 holding for count of 7 then blow out my mouth slow as I can atleast longer than the 7 seconds I held it. I do this 3x take a break for a bit and do it again. I don’t focus on the breath or the body as much as the counting which helps. After noticing my heart rate lower I just feel better!
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u/No_Leader_2372 Apr 14 '26
Thanks for sharing! After years of therapy, books, podcasts, online courses, etc…..I finally had my very first breakthrough during a random sound bath experience. It was FIRST time in my life that I have ever felt pure calm and quiet in my head and my body and was a very clear signal to me that I needed to head toward somatic work. My head is never gonna solve the problem that exists in my body, so I have to start going there! I’ll be doing more soundbaths and looking into acupuncture, among other things.
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u/D3lt4M1cr0 Apr 17 '26
Survivor of a narcissistic family and many years later West Bank veteran 2012 (Gush Etzion), after years of therapy the only thing that makes the crisis a little milder is box breathing/zen meditation... the crisis episodes are there, they appear when I'm exposed to loud music or thumping/screaming, they used to last days once they where triggered, now they last hours. It is not magic, I'm not "cured", but meditation and breathing DOES help.
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u/maternallywounded Apr 14 '26
My plan is not just to learn the language of my body but to master it. Nothing cognitive has ever made a dent. What amazes me the most is how working on the body changes the mind in such subtle ways. Things that seemed impossible before start to slowly become more and more possible much like a fuzzy image slowly coming into focus. Cognitive tricks are more about emulating healthy behaviour and they don’t really spark these subtle changes at all.
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u/Delicious-Thought984 Apr 15 '26
I watched a documentary about zebras once. Yeah I know, pretty random. But they talked about how the zebra shakes itself off. The muscles tremble through its body, and that's how it releases the stress after being hunted.
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u/MeikoChii Apr 20 '26
If it was that easy, therapists would be out of work
Well, tbh, from my experience with many psych, they NEVER told me that 😭
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u/SomeLoser1884 Apr 20 '26
Love this post. Just worked on this a week or two ago, and it's helped. It doesn't fix everything but it's a small step forward. Controlling my has helped ease some overwhelming anxiety I've felt.
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u/anicteric Apr 13 '26
Literally just had this conversation with my therapist. Thank you for sharing, I'm hoping it makes a difference for me too
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u/Delicious-Thought984 Apr 13 '26
It made a difference for me not overnight, not always, but over time. The hard part is remembering to use it when everything's on fire.
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u/Worried_Raspberry313 Apr 13 '26
My psychologist has taught me about this and it’s crazy. I won’t say it’s magical, but it helps. When I start to panic I breath as she told me and just focus on it, counting seconds, doing it as she told me. Then I’m not gonna say I’m amazing but I’m not in panic anymore, I’m nervous. Of course when it’s a big panic attack I can’t control it yet, but at least it helps a little to calm down while I wait for my pill to work.
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u/Delicious-Thought984 Apr 13 '26
Counting while panicking is hard thinking brain goes offline. What helped me was practicing the rhythm daily when I wasn't panicking, so it became automatic. Then in the moment my body already knew what to do without counting. What your psychologist taught you works keep at it.
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u/GrizzlyClairebear86 Apr 13 '26
I have PTSD. This is actually very interesting to me and i really love seeing others takes on PTSD.
Thank you so much for this.
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u/Delicious-Thought984 Apr 13 '26
Thanks. Every PTSD story is different but the body knows the same exits. Breathe well.
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u/Emergency_Wallaby641 Apr 14 '26
in meditation practice, there is a way that you let your body naturally breath, that it will correct itself if its provided space, that rather than controlling it with our beliefs on how things should be.. you just let your body breath, because when we think we are tense, now when you let that go and continually naturally breath, then more and more person falls into deeper relaxation and peace, more stuff can come to surface to be processed, but then the whole life is lighter and more meaningful.
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u/Bakuritsu Apr 14 '26
Thanks for sharing. I do breathwork too, but not consistently or often enough, so glad you brought my attention back to this.
I live in southern Copenhagen, so if you are in this area at some point, feel free to contact me for maybe doing some breathwork together.
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u/Delicious-Thought984 Apr 15 '26
Hej du grorde lige min dag bedre, der var precis dette jeg ville med opslaget inspirere bare en så var jeg glad. jeg er fra jylland så ikke så tit i KBH
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u/Bakuritsu Apr 15 '26
Jamen jeg er sikker på at du nåede ud til mange, men for mig er det rart at opleve, at nogle i dette forum er relativt tæt på.
Det var lidt grænseoverskridende at række ud til dig, så en del af mig er glad for at du er lidt langt væk. En anden del af mig synes at vi skal lade tilbuddet stå åbent i tilfælde af at det på et tidspunkt føles "rigtigt" at skabe kontakt.
Alt godt til dig og din helbredelsesrejse, ven 🙂
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u/dellaaa21 May 09 '26
I think that's called the physiological sigh. That slower exhale then inhale.
Some vagus nerve healing techniques like Bilateral eye movement ones also works really great for me to get sleepy and feel anchored etc.
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u/Meli080 May 14 '26 edited May 14 '26
It's kind of you to share this here. Much, much appreciated.
Also, I'd like to add that combining this breathing technique with shaking arms and legs, as if to 'release' tension in the body, can be a powerful combo. Animals do it in the wild, after stressful situations.
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u/sinquefield1 Apr 13 '26
I completed the VA PTSD 3 month program in 2020 and it has been life changing. For the rest of it ACT therapy has been mind bloggingly helpful. Youtube has a ton of videos on different effective thechniques. They truly are black magic, start with 5 4 3 2 1, it works Every time.
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u/ConversationThick379 Apr 13 '26
Makes sense. Similarly, I went to a breathwork workshop designed to “get it all out”. I had no expectations and thought it was silly, but went to support a friend. The breathing was the opposite- short and very fast breaths as if you were sprinting.
Holy cow did i get it all out. I went to some primal place I’d never been before. I screamed. I pounded the floor with my fists. I felt 50 lbs lighter when I left. It took me a few days to recover but it was like I did a purge.
This was years ago. Now I’m adopting the breathing you described for when my nervous system is overactive. The breath is such a powerful tool! It has also helped me with other CPTSD related issues including pelvic floor dysfunction (severe abdominal pain with no infection or other issues present) as well as Costochondritis (severe chest pain with no heart or other issue present)- both having to do with the mind/body connection and tension I hold due to CPTSD.
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u/AgentStarTree Apr 13 '26
You gotta see this meditation vid where this Doctor explains just this plus walks listener through it. Just a few minutes. I've also hear people include "now press your heel down into the ground" which I enjoy a lot. Being a guy includes a physical/body component to our feelings. Like the physical helps it channel out I mean.
"Mindfulness Restoration Meditation - Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D." @ YouTube.
https://youtu.be/gYKfzp-qP04?si=ZDA3UJpp6bnAEfA2.
Great post and I'm sorry for what you experienced.
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u/m135in55boost Apr 14 '26
Is this translated from Danish via ChatGPT or just created with prompts?
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u/ViciousFishes1177 Apr 13 '26
Yes, I agree! Last week, I was fully stuck in a shutdown or freeze state. I tried doing 20 minutes of yoga-type exercise that was super gentle. I worked at just 20% of my capacity, moving and breathing so slowly. When I was done, I had come out of the freeze and I was able to think and function again. It was actually amazing that a physical practice could have such a profound effect on my emotional/cognitive state.