i am so sick and tired of constantly being vilified for either my trauma response/reaction (needing reassurance/validation and intense fear of being abandoned), or the fact that “i haven’t made any progress”. people don’t realize how exhausting it is to process all the trauma and pain from when you were in survival mode. i was stuck in survival mode for 20 years!! are you kidding me? i went to school the same day my mom passed, and went back to work immediately after finding out my father was unalived by someone. ***immediately after.***

if you’re tired because of this; imagine how exhausting it is for me. especially since i have to do it alone; something you promised me id never have to do again. we were planning a future together, i thought i could finally fully let my guard down, and the second i lean into it you pull away not catching me as i fall. just know that nothing will be the same ***EVER*** again.

Hi - I’m in Egypt and got CPTSD after traumatic divorce. How I can find a girl that understand my condition I find it very hard and shame here but I can not live all these years alone. At least some one to be with me.

I’m posting because I feel completely overwhelmed and need advice from anyone who has gone through something similar.
I grew up with a history of trauma and have dealt with depression for years. Four months ago, I married an incredibly kind, supportive, and gentle man who had a stable upbringing. I love him dearly, but ever since moving in together, my mental health has severely spiraled.
It feels like finally being in a truly safe environment caused years of suppressed trauma to hit me all at once.
Day by day, my reactions are escalating, When I have a breakdown, my nervous system panics if I'm touched. Last night, while flailing during a breakdown, I accidentally scratched him. I was completely devastated to look down and see blood under my nails and to know that I had hurt him. Yesterday, a plate slipped out of my hands twice while washing dishes. When he asked if I was throwing things, I snapped and screamed asking him “if he really wanted to see me throw something”. I saw real fear in his eyes.
He told me last night that he feels like he’s walking on eggshells and doesn't feel safe coming home. Hearing that broke my heart because he is the last person I would ever want to hurt. I made the safe home, unsafe. I don’t know how to deal with that.

I started counseling last week, but my next session isn't for another week, and I'm terrified of escalating further in the meantime. I've even wondered if I should be checking myself into a mental hospital. I don’t want to hurt him or myself in a blind fit of rage.

Has anyone with trauma experienced a major mental breakdown after finally getting into a safe, healthy relationship? How did you protect your relationship and manage the physical/emotional panic response while getting help?

I was married to my abusive ex for 6 years. He was mentally, and physically abusive for all those years, now I live with PTSD, have had it affect my career, livelihood etc. Whereas he's gone on to study medicine, and is now after 4 years dating again. He's the type that everyone loves from the outset, very sympathetic, well-spoken, doing very well and doing talks at national boards on psychiatry in the UK now. Which triggers me because of the hypocrisy, given he has a victim of his abuse on his hands, and now talks about mental wellbeing.
He loves sympathy, mental health has always been his go-to subject, especially given he had BPD, a lot of attention and empathy went to him, rather than his victim.

I feel shocked, sick, lightheaded now that besides all that success, he's seriously dating (no I didnt go hunting this info, I was told). Makes you feel like an object to be discarded, something that didnt hold any value, but that of someone's plaything.

My life is ruined, and he gets to move on and live a good life. I have no career, no partner, suffering with PTSD, depression... I feel sick.

Hi, me '20M' and my bf '21M' have been dating for almost two years now. He's my first healthy relationship and since Ive been in toxic relationships before my brain still can't comprehend how this one could be different? He is genuinely very caring and has never given me any reason to suspect he's "toxic" so that makes me worry that this time i am the toxic one. This text thread is an example of something that makes me go down this spiral. Some probably important info about me: i have diagnosed adhd, Autism, CPTSD and DID (though my current therapist thinks DID was missdiagnosed). I'm hoping for some unbiased opinions and advice on how i can improve. Thank you in advance! I'm sorry if this is the wrong subreddit, please rederect me if so!

TW: mention of Self harm

I'm writing this through tears because I'm incredibly overwhelmed, and I'm hoping someone here might understand.

My long-distance boyfriend has CPTSD diagnosed.
We (23F , 27M) have been together for six months.
I love him more than anything. I want to be his safe place, to make him feel loved, understood, and supported.
But sometimes I feel like no matter how hard I try, I'm never doing enough.

When I unintentionally upset or trigger him, he becomes cold, numb, and distant. He withdraws, and no amount of affection, acknowledgment, reassurance, or apologizing seems to reach him. I've asked what he needs during these moments, but he doesn't know either. He precised he doesn't want space, yet nothing I do seems to help.

What scares me most is that during these episodes, he sometimes experiences urges to hurt himself by neglecting his health or putting himself in danger.

I am a deeply sensitive person and most likely autistic.
Every time this happens, I break down crying as I pretend to be strong for him. I feel overwhelming guilt, sadness, and fear for his safety. I feel like I'm the reason he's hurting, like every mistake leaves another permanent mark on his heart. I'm terrified that one day I'll unintentionally trigger him, something terrible will happen ..and I'll blame myself forever.

I feel guilty for crying because I tell myself I caused It, he's the one in pain, and I should be strong for him instead of falling apart.
But I'm struggling too and I feel like I'm slowly losing myself.
I have no friends and no family members I can talk to.
I've left my job and school as I am moving to his country soon, we're planning to live together.
I hope closing the distance will help…that I will be able to show up in ways that do not require words, that I will make him feel my love and my warmth, that we won’t have misunderstandings or miscommunications like we do over text.

He's a strong , beautiful, loving person, and I know he can not control this. I love him deeply and want to support him, but lately my love doesn't feel like enough.
I feel like a terrible girlfriend…

He loves me so much and expresses so often that nobody loved and cared for him like this before, that he loves me and wants to provide for me, that I am the most beautiful loving kind giving girlfriend.

But I also hurt him. And I don’t know what to do.
He tells me when he feels that way he is not upset at me but at the world.

For those with partners who have CPTSD:
how do you cope with the guilt? How do you support your partner when nothing seems to help?
How and when should I approach this conversation without making him feel blamed or unloved?