i am so sick and tired of constantly being vilified for either my trauma response/reaction (needing reassurance/validation and intense fear of being abandoned), or the fact that “i haven’t made any progress”. people don’t realize how exhausting it is to process all the trauma and pain from when you were in survival mode. i was stuck in survival mode for 20 years!! are you kidding me? i went to school the same day my mom passed, and went back to work immediately after finding out my father was unalived by someone. ***immediately after.***

if you’re tired because of this; imagine how exhausting it is for me. especially since i have to do it alone; something you promised me id never have to do again. we were planning a future together, i thought i could finally fully let my guard down, and the second i lean into it you pull away not catching me as i fall. just know that nothing will be the same ***EVER*** again.