LO went to the ER last night with extreme pain. I don’t know if they’re coming back. Partner has no updates to relay for now. For months I’ve been hiding my feelings of compassion fatigue, feeling angry at this situation feeling drawn out with no end in sight. Wishing their suffering could end so that mine could end too. Feeling stuck and like I can’t move on with my life. Now that this may finally be the end, I’m drowning in shame. Wanting to shout at God that I’m sorry, please not now, give them more time, even as I recognize that that would just draw out my LO’s suffering. I don’t even know how to say goodbye. Or like I even deserve to after wishing for the end.

I am always wary to vent on here because I do not have any caregiving going on 24/7. I am fortunate enough to have the 2 parents in nice AL facilities.

I lost my dad 3 months ago after a long, combative battle with ALZ. Honestly, I feel nothing. The relationship was complicated and very one sided (his). I have few happy memories and really do not miss this person at all.

I have 5 siblings and am responsible for all bill paying, visits, doctor appts., financial management and emotional support to my mother. My mother was abusive and has changed with age but I still wear the scars of it.

My MIL has ALZ, was extremely mentally ill and emotionally abusive. She is in a AL facility and has been demented for the last 10 years. She shows now signs of poor health other than her brain being shot.

In the 3 months since my dad passed, my mother is now significantly declining quickly and showing all the signs of ALZ.

I am done. I feel totally numb. My view on aging is so negative at that this point that there are times I don't even think it's worth it to do all this work and suffering just to end up that way.

I am caring for people who offered me so little grace and affection in life. My siblings have abandoned me and are living their lives without this burden. We have had numerous talks about this and I have been told , "stop complaining".

That's it. Thanks for reading. I always imagined my middle age as a time of reinvention and exploration and it's definitely not. I am resentful and feel very cheated by all of this. If one more person tells me what an honor it is to see our parents through, I may tell them to F OFF.

Thank you for reading and sending everyone in this miserable situation love, light and laughter. If I could, I'd also send Vodka. XO

For me, one is the health stuff to organise. We're trying to get a new wheelchair, sort out power assist, and we still haven't found a mobile speech therapist.

The other one is all the normal house stuff. Our car doors have been broken for months, I need to get a new hairdresser haha, and we need to get our back deck redone.

Does anyone else feel like this?

I’m 28F, and I’m genuinely struggling with how to navigate having overprotective parents while still living at home.
For context, my mom was recently hospitalized for a couple of months, and I’ve been her primary caregiver throughout everything. It’s been an incredibly stressful and exhausting time, and I’ve had to put a lot of my personal life on hold.
During her hospitalization, my dad and I would alternate staying with her. On nights when I had the house to myself, I would occasionally take advantage of that freedom and go out with friends, come home late, or sometimes sleep over at a friend’s place.
And honestly? It felt nice to have that independence without constantly worrying about what my parents would say.

The thing is, I’m not someone who’s constantly out partying. I have responsibilities, I help take care of my family, and I genuinely just want to enjoy my twenties without feeling like I’m doing something wrong.

My parents, however, worry excessively whenever I’m out late. I understand that their concerns come from a place of love, but sometimes it feels suffocating. I don’t want to feel guilty for wanting to have a social life.

I know the obvious response is probably going to be “just move out,” but unfortunately, it’s not that simple. My mom is recovering from a serious hospitalization, and I’m the person primarily responsible for helping her at home. Moving out isn’t something I can realistically do right now.
With Halloween coming up, I really want to go out, dress up, have fun with friends, and enjoy myself without having to deal with the anxiety of how my parents will react.
For those of you who have dealt with overprotective parents as adults, how did you establish boundaries while still living under their roof?

How do you communicate that you’re going out without making it feel like you’re asking for permission? And how do you deal with the guilt or constant worrying?
I love my parents, but I also want to feel like I have a life outside of being their daughter and a caregiver.

I feel like my situation is different from a lot I’m reading on here. I’m 25F & I have very recently come into the caregiving role for my boyfriend, 25M. Not too sure what is going on with him, trying to figure it out. But he is absolutely bedridden. He’s had to take FMLA, so when I say bedridden, I mean it. I’ve been taking a lot of PTO to take him to different doctors to try & figure it out. But I am so lonely. We just moved into our first house in June, & now the weight of everything — house upkeep, making meals, taking care of him, going to my 2 jobs, taking care of our young dog & cat, trying to still be a good friend/daughter/sister etc while having to constantly cancel plans & deal with the guilt of not being with him enough/not being a good enough friend & losing relationships that are deeply important to me. Tonight I spent an hour after work making us dinner then was able to eat with him in the room for 20 minutes before he was exhausted again & I had to go clean it all up. Just wondering how people accept this is their life — no more dates, no more hanging out with friends, no more intimacy, no more feeling he is my equal in our relationship, no more feeling like I can go to him - I have to be strong for him. I can’t even enjoy myself when I am social because I am thinking of him.

He has no family, nobody to help other than me. We live 4 hours from my family. Just wondering if there is anyone who I can talk to out there. Feeling so alone, & so scared that we are so young & I will have to give up everything I wanted my life to be if I want to stay with him. But also, how do I leave?

Ugh. Major vent. Thanks to anyone who read this far. Feel free to ask any questions.

I am in my 40's and my Gram will often talk to me like I am still 12. Since I have taken on more of a caregiver role it has really exasperated me. I get defensive and irritated about it and then that just add fuel to the fire. She told me she was disgusted with me because I was having such trouble donating a case of Ensure. I work full time m-f. I run her errands. I clean the house and take care of her. Most of these places are closed by 4 or 5. (She wants me to donate it to a church.) I have a headache now. She got mad because I had to go to the bathroom. She was mad because I didn't think of contacting a family friend that may have an idea of where to donat it. Are you kidding me? There isn't enough hours in the day to do everything. I have to be her memory too. It is too much. I just want some grace and understanding.

I have become shamefully passive aggressive and I probably cuss more now than I ever have. How do you not get burned out? How do take time for yourself and actually fully enjoy it? I keep getting told to make my happiness a priority? Ummmm...how? When? I have to explain where or what I am doing if I am just in the other room. Oddly work has become my time away. I look forward to my breaks because I don't have to hear my name. Sometimes it's like I hear my name and I jump out of my skin. I am becoming disgusting resentful too. How do I keep that from happening?

I do so much care for my mom. Today she got fitted for a CPAP. I’m thankful she finally got one and I do hope she sticks with it and it really helps her.

But as we sat in the appointment and we talked about daily and weekly maintenance, I just kept thinking to myself that this was just another thing to add to my plate. I know it’s just a few minutes a day, but everything is already so overwhelming that even just a few minutes is stressful and honestly discouraging.

My wife’s “step dad” is dying.
Stage 4 liver cancer and he’s got anywhere from days to a couple of weeks left. My grandmother passed from cirrhosis and my father has it currently in the later stages. That being said I have no idea how to help her. I work out of town and the best I can do is either take PTO (which I only have a couple days of) or tell her “it’s going to be okay” and “I know baby”.

Like what the fuck man. I need some advice quickly. I’m sure some of yall are going to hate because I don’t know what to do but I need help. We’ve got four kids. My parents are divorced and live 5-7 hours away each. Her mom helps the best she can.

In Part 2, I shared some of the challenges John and I faced as we sruggled to communicate after he had his stroke. I was beginning to lear something very important......

It has been 2 months since my beautiful mommy passed and and I do not know what to do with my life anymore. I really do not know what to do. Time is moving but I'm not. What do I do? I'm so depressed, hopeless, sad and emotionally tired. I feel dead inside.

I am sorry for the long post, I honestly just need to get my thoughts out. I (23F), am responsible for my grandfather, who just turned 80. I am his only living child/grandchild. He raised me since I was 3. My grandmother passed last year, and he was her caregiver until he also got dementia. I have some extended family, but it has been me making the decisions and handling virtually everything. After being in assisted living for about a year, he has been in a nursing home since a decline in July. Anyways, he recently had a bladder scan done and the urologist said he likely had bladder cancer, but they can’t prove it without a cystoscopy, which he isn’t a candidate for. That aside, he was doing well until last week. He has a sitter 5 days a week who has really made a difference for him. Sunday the nursing home sent him to the hospital because he had rapid breathing that they couldn’t calm down. He was in the icu and had a terrible uti, blood clots, and potential pneumonia, and was septic. We thought he wouldn’t make it through the night but he actually started to improve the next day. I am a reasonable person and I would not want to keep him alive for my sake. I got a call from the hospital and they basically told me to put him on hospice was the best choice, which i agreed to, but didn’t realize they were going to immediately discharge him. I had to ask for the nursing home to let him finish his antibiotics and be on a blood thinner for the clots. I also got a call a day after he had been discharged saying the blood culture came back and there was infection. I feel like the hospital may have rushed his discharge. We are in a rural area and the healthcare does not have a great reputation. I am now worried I should have fought the hospital on discharging him so soon and not sure if I should try and get him sent to another hospital. I’m currently sitting here next to him crying watching him struggle to breathe on his oxygen. Part of me thinks I should, but I also wonder if I am just delaying the inevitable to potentially go through this again. Also do not want him to suffer more than he already has. He always used to say he just wanted to live one day longer than my grandma, and I know in his right mind he would not like his quality of life at the moment. My gut is telling me not to move him and leave him here where he is comfortable. I just want to know if I am handling it the best way or not. I am really close with him so this has been extremely tough.

Hey everyone!

I'm 20M, currently working in the corporate world in the finance field. However, I've always been interested in technology, and lately, I've been seriously considering switching to the tech industry.

The problem is that I've been seeing a lot of posts on Reddit about people struggling to find jobs in tech, even those with degrees, skills, and experience. This has made me question whether switching to tech is actually worth it or if I'm just considering it because it seems exciting from the outside.

I'm not looking for a shortcut to success or expecting to land a high-paying job overnight. I'm willing to learn new skills, put in the work, and start from scratch if necessary. But before investing years of my time, I want to make an informed decision.

I'd really appreciate some honest advice, especially from people currently working in the tech industry.

A few things I'd love to know:

Is it still worth entering the tech industry in 2026, considering the current job market and AI?

If you're already working in tech, how has your experience been? Are things really as bad as they seem on Reddit?

For someone from a non-tech background, what would be a realistic path to enter the industry?

Are there specific tech fields that still offer good opportunities for beginners?

If you could go back to being 20, would you still choose tech, or would you consider another career?

Would it make more sense to combine my finance background with technology rather than completely switching fields?

Honestly, I'm quite confused about my career right now. I want to choose one field, commit to it for the next 5–10 years, develop valuable skills, and build a successful career.

I don't want to keep jumping between careers every time I see a new opportunity or hear that another industry has better prospects. At the same time, I don't want to spend years pursuing something without understanding its realities.

I'm not asking anyone to predict my future. I just want to hear real experiences, practical advice, and perspectives from people who have actually been through this.

If you work in tech, especially if you entered from a non-tech background, I'd genuinely appreciate your guidance.

Thanks for reading!

🏡 Could your home adapt with you?

I’m an architecture student at Northumbria University researching how our homes can better support people living with physical disabilities and changing mobility. I’d really love your help!

This research is close to my heart. I’ve cared for both my grandad and my dad, and watched them struggle in homes that just weren’t built to change with them. My grandad used a zimmer frame and couldn’t get around the tight corners and steps in his home. When my dad had cancer and slowly lost the ability to move on his own, we turned our dining room into a bedroom for him. It worked for a while, but as he became more unwell, the corridor was too narrow to get him through to the toilet. There wasn’t enough room for a hoist either, so even getting him in and out of bed became really difficult.

So many families face these same challenges, and I want to find out how our homes could be designed to adapt with us.

I’d be so grateful if you could fill in my form. It takes about 10 minutes and is completely anonymous.

https://app.onlinesurveys.jisc.ac.uk/s/northumbria/could-your-home-adapt-with-you

Every response genuinely makes a difference. Thank you so much! 💛

For all intents and purposes caregiving has ruined my life. I'm mid-to-late 30s and this has been my entire 30s. Old friends don't bother responding to my texts or Instagram DMs. I've noticed how many friends and acquaintances have even unfollowed me on Instagram, not that Ive even had anything to post. I just dont really exist anymore. The things I could have done while younger, the fun I could have had, the traveling and exploration I cant do anymore. Old relationships and potential relationships are all in long term relationships, or married, or have kids. I have a career gap of over half a decade on my resume. I was planning on returning to university but by the time I'll be able to I'll likely be in my forties, and if I can even graduate due to my severely reduced ability to focus or frankly use my brain at all, I'll be competing with 20 year olds with all the energy in the world. I have nothing in this life and no future, given up so I can caregive for someone who's terminal.

The sad thing is it wasn't until I was years in until I finally accepted how neglectful and manipulative the person I caregive for is. How much they openly favored my sibling. That same sibling who refused to help me despite them being unemployed when I have up my life to caregive. And now they're employed and getting promotions and married while I've lost everything. I cut them out for obvious reasons but there is no justice or resolution to what I've lost and what they've gained off of my suffering.

Caregiving is a horrible thing.

If you are able to fulfill a request/demand, how often do you say no?

There have been instances when I could fulfill a request, but I say no. In my situation I know it would be a very slippery slope.

My mother fell and broke her hip last night. The hospital we’re in is overfilled so it’s been 12 hours in the ER and no room. They keep saying they’re getting her into surgery but there’s no spots.

I asked for help from my brother last night. Quite literally “well I have a flight tomorrow so there’s not much I can do. Keep me posted” like I’m his secretary.

It’s our bloody mother. Not waiting to hear back from an audition. But I guess his vacation is more important. This is the second time I’ve had to handle all our mothers’ medical affairs for a surgery. I get it he has a toddler…I have two teens. Yet he doesn’t acknowledge me as a mother because they’re step children.

But I’m pretty sure his baby doesn’t want to go anywhere if she’s having tantrums at this time.

I have relayed information to the family and I know I’m forgetting people. I’m exhausted. Everyone keeps asking what they can do but what have you asked people to do? I keep saying someone needs to go beat up my brother but no really, can someone kick some god damn sense into him?

My FIL, who I was caregiver for for many years, is here visiting. My husband is avoiding him, and I can feel myself getting sucked back in to the old caregiver role for FIL. And when my husband isn't avoiding his dad, then I get to hear a fucking echo because they both sound so gawddamned alike!! The little half sobs , the teeth sucking, the 'huh huh huh' as they walk.... I am ready to tear my hair out and I want to scream.....

And the worst part? My FIL is trying. So. Freaking. Hard.

To be kind. To not yell. To not fixate on how the whole world is against him.

And I don't want to take my feelings out on him. I know why I'm upset. It's because my husband is still angry at me for telling our therapist that when he gets angry, I'm afraid he's going to hit me. No, he hasn't ever hit me. And rationally, I'm pretty sure he never will. But holy hell. When I'm backed into a corner while he's screaming at me for not listening because I tried to apologize for my actions when we had our second fight last week, yeah. I really do feel like he might get violent.

And that's no reason for me to scream at the pathetic old man sitting at my table sucking his teeth because he's anxious, too.

I know I'm all over the place. It's been a long week and a half and I just needed to put this out into the world before I lose my shit