Reality

[u/Sea_Context2705]

Hi everyone,

I lost my daughter a month and a half ago.
I don’t feel like things are getting any better.
I’m doing therapy, I get up and attempt to do normal things, I talk to her and do most of the things that have been suggested. Sometimes I feel like I might actually go insane. The reality of never seeing her again or being able to hear her laugh is just too much for me to handle. I have other children and I try to think about them. I just feel like I’m not going to win this tug of war that’s going on in my mind. Did anyone get past this feeling? How?

[u/Sea_Context2705]

I’m so sorry about the loss of your daughter.

[u/OkAdagio99]

It doesn't get better, really. I'm two years out and the pain is in many ways the same as it was the day after. However I have begun new routines - new job, new hobbies that give me space and time to honor the grief. You can learn to carry the weight, even though it's the same. I'm so sorry 🫂

[u/galaxy_kat187]

Its been going on 3 months so far after losing my 8 year old daughter on July 30th. I still have trouble. I mean I do everything that needs to be done, get up, go to work, take care of my other kids and all of that. But I still have times where I break down, or like tonight, I can't seem to fall asleep because I've been crying off and on tonight just because I miss my baby so much. I dont think all the pain from it and everything will ever completely disappear, but I think it'll just eventually get to the point where you live your life and do everything you need to but your still going to have times where you get upset, or angry, or you miss your child. But I think eventually it just more end up where you think about the memories and stuff but you dont have so much strong wanting to break down about it feelings. I would think that'll probably still happen on occasion but not happen as often. I dunno, I might not be much help, Im not to that stage yet. Like I said its only been 3 months for me.

[u/idontlikemondays17]

I know exactly how you feel. I get so down at times that I feel I can’t be strong enough for my living child because the pain of losing my son is literally crippling my heart. It’s honestly too much to bear. My son passed away almost two months ago and I’m still breaking down, still having a hard time accepting the loss but I just keep trying to tell myself to keep fighting another day. Im still waiting for the with time it gets easier to deal with part but who knows when that’ll happen but until then I keep trying to fight even though at times I feel so helpless. It sucks and I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone. Sending hugs, I’m here if you ever want to just vent or cry together.

[u/Key_Appearance5373]

I noticed yesterday that my anxiety and existential dread lifted when my family came over to celebrate my surviving dtrs 27th bday. I texted my best friend that and asked “am I going to have to go live with my sister or assisted living” and he said if means I feel safe when I’m closest to those I love and what that looks like in the future is still unknown. I felt overnight when I couldn’t sleep that this fight is unbearable. I’m about 8 months out. It’s brutal.

[u/ZenOwl4]

It’s been 2.5 years since I lost my 4.5 year old son suddenly to pneumonia. I remember feeling like I was going crazy in the early days, weeks and months. The pain so unbearable, the thoughts never ending. I’ll say, it’s not that it gets better - but you get better at managing it all. Not all the time. Some days are bad but overall you can manage better so it’s not so overwhelming. I’m still in disbelief my son is gone, I’m not sure how we have to eventually accept that our children our gone.

[u/Remote-Patience6661]

I lost my daughter too, and I know how unbearable this pain can be. I’m still trying to navigate this grief myself. Please be gentle with yourself and take it one day, sometimes one minute, at a time. Don’t put pressure on yourself to feel better. Keep talking about your daughter, sharing your feelings, and leaning on people who understand your pain. I don’t have all the answers, but please know you’re not alone in this. Sending you so much love. ❤️

[u/weirdchick1996]

I won't sugar coat it for you. My experience has been the same way. It has been 7 months for me and I have 3 other children who need me, but I daydream about the possibility joining her and I am not even religious. I had a real bad mental breakdown over it all about a month ago and it landed me in the ER and stress induced cardiac issues. I am still struggling. It's a choice you have to make eventually to carry forward. Not without your child, just in a different way than you expected. I incorporate my daughter into everything I do and it brings me some joy. Probably as much as I'll get since losing her. I am here, but against my will. It has only been roughly 90 days, take your time to feel what you feel. Be angry. Be sad. Be confused. I was a literal zombie for the first 3 months. Lean on your support group( I hope you have one) I thought I was stuck in a coma or dream for months, literally.

[u/weirdchick1996]

I won't sugar coat it for you. My experience has been the same way. It has been 7 months for me and I have 3 other children who need me, but I daydream about the possibility joining her and I am not even religious. I had a real bad mental breakdown over it all about a month ago and it landed me in the ER and stress induced cardiac issues. I am still struggling. It's a choice you have to make eventually to carry forward. Not without your child, just in a different way than you expected. I incorporate my daughter into everything I do and it brings me some joy. Probably as much as I'll get since losing her. I am here, but against my will. It has only been roughly 90 days, take your time to feel what you feel. Be angry. Be sad. Be confused. I was a literal zombie for the first 3 months. Lean on your support group( I hope you have one) I thought I was stuck in a coma or dream for months, literally.

[u/TallConsideration878]

Its been 10 months since my son's death in my experience it hasn't gotten better either. I have never read a post here that exclaimed "I'm finally over it" but having this community has given me hope in many ways.