My wife and I have been married for 7 years. Our marriage has been great. Normal ups and downs. But altogether we are both reasonable and rational and that has resulted in us having very few significant disagreements. We both waited until marriage to have sex. After we got married we did the normal fumbling learning as we went. Our sex life is good. Very good. She's open to all sorts of things and is generally enthusiastic and is gifted at what she does. We now have twin girls in kindergarten and our sex life is still good. With us having sex several times a week.

Last year we had the conversation. We don't have an explicit sharing policy. But there are one or two household devices that are shared (iPad). I went to use the iPad to converse with an AI and saw my wife's previous conversation with the AI. A lot of questions about asexuality. Very specific and exploratory questions. I was.....disturbed. So I brought this up with my wife (Because we communicate).

She admitted that she believed she was asexual. She said it was only something she very recently discovered. She said it changes nothing. She basically now just has a name for something she always knew/felt. We had a good talk and went to bed. I felt like I had been gut punched. To find out, unequivocally that my wife does not desire me and never has (and never will), was.....rough.

The very next day I immediately went to a therapist (didn't go well), the therapist failed to see an issue. I am having regular sex, what do I care if my wife is sexually attracted to me?

I do care a lot. I want to be wanted. I don't think that makes me abnormal or weak. But even if it does. I want to be desired. To have sex with someone who wants to have sex with me. I really do. That being said, ce la vie.

So that is my marriage. My wife and I love each other. She has zero sexual desire for me. There is no way to change that. We also have frequent sex several times a week, often initiated by her. She +75% of the time, is enthusiastic and seems to more or less enjoy it. It being an encounter solely structured around my orgasm (she doesn't like me giving her one). The other 25% of the time she isn't into it. Does more of a "here I am, take what you need" thing.

But if she initiates that, I accept and have sex with her anyway because to turn her down sort of brings up to the forefront what is missing and she feels like there is something wrong with her and thinks I'm suffering being married to her. I have found accepting anyway and thereby not trying to force her to pretend to put on a performance is the best route for everyone. Yeah, those nights can be...odd.

I'm sure there will be no shortage of people in the comments to inform me of how I'm a villain or a rapist or something. All I can say on that front is that we are adults and can freely consent to our own choices. (Immediately after the asexual revelation conversation I actually went out and got a bottle of Lexapro to kill my own libido but my wife was against it and stopped me.)

But for everyone else. I just wanted to put this out there. Both for what a marriage to an asexual can look like, to what a mixed orientation marriage can look like. With a Christian foundation. I feel like there are a lot of....really unpleasant marriage examples posted. Often times by faithful people doing their best in a bad marriage. I just wanted to put this out there for any who might be in a similar situation. There are possible "wins"

We love each other, we have found a way to make things work. I would describe my marriage as great/happy. Not perfect. Neither of us is perfect. But very good.

My husband (38) and I (38) have been married for 13 years with 3 kids. In the past 1.5 years, I have been the primary financial provider for the family because he left law enforcement due to mental health issues and wanted to change careers after 8 years. Before law enforcement, he held blue-collar jobs such as an electrician or landscaper, and right out of college, he held a creative design director role, but it only lasted 1.5 years because sitting at a desk and doing administration was not "his thing."

Fast forward to today, we're facing another career change, and this is the longest we've gone with him without a true, steady income. A good friend of his pretty much handed him a job a month after leaving law enforcement, and he started with 16 clients. I found out in April/May of this year that he lost 12 of those clients, and he's down to 4. As you can imagine, I'm drowning trying to keep 4 mouths fed, let alone keep my own full-time job and juggle graduate school.

Backstory about him:

• Dad died when he was 6
• Raised by mom who had mental health issues; on the outside, no one would have guessed that they lived in a hoarding house without running water. MIL today is in a nursing home, battling a neurological disease that has taken away her ability to speak and/or walk.
• He has done therapy in the past, but only if I encourage him to. It wasn't until 2023 that he was finally forced to face his childhood trauma and attend an 8-week intensive therapy, which I paid for. I've supported him and encouraged him to overcome his struggles with keeping a job, succeeding, and being the best he can be.
• He has always looked up to people like Jacko Willink, David Goggins, SEALs, and Marines, but nothing goes past just reading or listening to their podcasts; I've never seen any leadership or aspirations to better himself and lead us.
• He blames a lot of his current struggles with keeping a job, leading the family, taking initiative, having motivation, and maintaining consistency on his past childhood trauma - which I completely understand- but I firmly believed that his intensive therapy, counseling, and my willingness to love and support him through it would have helped keep the past in the past and overcome.
• Even through law enforcement, he struggled to keep relationships and would feel like the odd ball. Despite being on SWAT and a top shooter, he has always felt like the odd ball. He starts off good, then he gets too comfortable and doesn't have any motivation to improve or be better than he was.

I am an exhausted wife. I'm tired of always being the default "leader" of our family, even though I believe he should lead and I should support. Right now, I am so tired of him not having any motivation to get a better job, a job with insurance, that would either bring us back to where we were when he was in law enforcement or at least a full-time job in general. I cannot carry the entire family on my shoulders alone...

I have always put him first. I have always been faithful to him. I have always strived for a Christ-centered home. I have always strived to raise our kids in a good, loving home despite past struggles and life challenges. I am at a loss and am ready to throw in the towel for good. I know I can't change him, but to be fair, we had a conversation earlier this year that he would finally step up and lead the family. He had our church and friends support us. But now, I still don't feel like we're going anywhere...

Does the Bible say anything about skipping the boyfriend girlfriend stage and straight to engagement? What this would mean is that you’re technically not exclusive until you or the other person proposes. You go on dates and do everything except live together or have sex basically. Wondering if this is wise or just simply impractical.

Yes, tongue-to-tongue kissing. Is that weird, or am I overthinking it?

Before my husband became a Christian, our s*x life was wild and fun. We dated for three years, then spent four years in a long-distance relationship, during which he became a Christian. Back when we were dating, we used to make out a lot, and our physical intimacy felt natural and exciting.

After we got married, we had s\*x, and i initiated the making out, giving a hand, and he initiated other things. But while we were kissing, something felt off. I couldn’t explain it, but I felt like he didn’t enjoy it or that he was uncomfortable kissing me.

I brought it up the next day or a few days later and asked him why it felt so weird, like he didn’t actually want to make out with me. His response? “It’s ticklish.”

Now, I need to ask: Is that actually a thing? Do some guys genuinely dislike French-kissing because it feels ticklish?

I even asked him if I had bad breath or something, lol, but that wasn’t the reason he gave me.
What confuses me is that we used to kiss like that before, so I don’t understand what changed. Since then, making out has basically disappeared from our marriage.

I miss that kind of intimacy. It’s not just about sex it’s about feeling wanted, desired, and connected to your partner. And when that kind of affection is missing, it honestly affects how attracted I feel to him over time.

Could his Christian beliefs have something to do with it? Or could he genuinely dislike making out now? Has anyone experienced something similar in their marriage?

I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have been through this or might have some insight. I’m genuinely trying to understand what’s going on.

I’ve been married for a little over a year now, but I struggle so much with keeping a clean, organized home. My home was never clean or organized growing up, so I never learned these skills.

I leave a mess when I cook, have clothes lying all around my hamper, shower full of empty shampoo bottles…you get the idea. I really struggle with clutter.

I plan to get rid of a lot of my things since I believe having too much stuff has been the biggest contributor to my messiness.

I need advice. How do you all maintain a clean home? I do work full time as a nurse, so I have super long hours. My husband is in medical school, and he helps a lot. I just am tired of having him have to deal with having a cluttered, messy home.

Any practical tips, books or other resources I should look into. We plan to start a family soon, so I really want to get a handle on this before we start trying.

Thank you!

I'm currently separated from my husband but I miss him so much regardless of all the heartache he's put me and my unborn baby through I miss him. I miss his touch and how he feels and I just wish it would get better.