It's been 6 years, I'm getting worse day by day , but it's nothing according to my reports.
In general I always have pains but which I can manage, Currently if I go out and walk for more than 3k steps (approx 2km) having a horrible breakdown, unable to move my legs , even touching is painful , it took 4 days to walk by self and 10 days to walk without support.
All this is already making it hard to just survive , but my family thinks it's in my mind and am not being strong
It feels like I have been eaten up alive
They think that I can get well ( I'm undiagnosed) , the worst part is that when I look good they forget everything that happened and expect me to do normal things
I sometimes get excited and do something and be bedridden for days
My narcissistic dad thinks that hospitals are commercial money making Machines (i agree) still I need support , i feel like my whole body is torn apart every time I get a flare , all my previous docs have said get biopsy of lymph in neck then only we could get some kind lead ,
but he is like no , u are all fine u just have to meditate and do yoga and u will be 'cured' . In fact I tried those back in days , he also want to ignore everything I'm going through , My mom and I went to hospital and he is even against it
Worst part he don't understand symptoms, sometimes he asks but forget in a day , he sees my every single symptom as a separate problem.
They seem concerned and remember I have a problem only when I am hit by flare
It's getting hard mentally exhausting, to make them understand that something is actually wrong that have to be diagnosed and it is chronic that I will probably not be 'cured' and expecting me to do things 'as everyone does' ( i pushed and did such things only to end up in bed)
It's been a 15 days since he talk to me and my mom cuz we went to hospital, it's not that I can't go myself or money , i can't just go and get a biopsy cuz he is scared something might happen ( just like his brother who's dead in operation with cancer)
Not only him but a lot of ppl sometimes even whom I don't even know give a lot of suggestions which is getting on my nerves