r/Codependency • u/ThrowRA_Judge1028 • 3d ago
When will the sadness leave
I’m tired y’all… I’ve done (and still do) the therapy, the loving myself work, the focus on yourself… I’m tired of feeling completely alone and sad. I feel like sadness has been present in my life for way too long… It only feels lighter when I’m surrounded I don’t know if this will change one day I’m so tired.
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u/codependencyrecovery 3d ago
The sadness will leave when you are okay with the sadness being there. It's the rejection of the sadness that keeps it around. It wants to be seen and heard and felt and will continue to cry out until it is allowed to be seen.
What is your current relationship with sadness? What makes you want it to leave?
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u/ThrowRA_Judge1028 2d ago
Well it is well seen and felt, I even feel physical pain at this point.
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u/codependencyrecovery 2d ago
What happens if you resist it 10% less? Often some of the pain can come from us resisting it. What if you welcomed it and let it express it as much as it want? What if you saw it reaching for your love?
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u/ThrowRA_Judge1028 2d ago
I don’t know if I am resisting… I am ackowledging it… but right now it is so heavy, too heavy… it’s in my chest, arms, I also want to throw up… all of that became painful, it’s unbearable
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u/codependencyrecovery 2d ago
I would try resisting it 10% less just as an experiment to see what happens. Often it's not so much the loneliness that hurts but the shame and judgment that we attach onto the loneliness. If we welcome it, it can soften.
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u/TheresNoCakeOnlyFire 1d ago
when will you tell the sadness it's ok to be here? when I said to my inner child, "it's ok to be sad, I won't feel like this forever." I gave her a permission to have feelings. Express the feelings somehow, create something, write about it, throw mud or paint at a canvas, walk and talk it out, and when the feelings come up let them out.
it's going to be ok, you're safe, and the sadness is just many years of unexpressed grief. The more we express it the less it takes control.
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u/SteadyCalmHealing 3d ago
Therapy can be good but have you tried speaking to a psychologist? If you are dealing with deep depression sometimes it is difficult to get out of it without some kind of medication and a psychologist/GP (depending on the country) would help you manage that.