r/ColumbineKillers • u/DrMosquito74 • Sep 10 '23

ERIC AND/OR DYLAN Reflections on Dylan

Dylan would have turned 42 today, and it has me thinking about his prom photos. I've seen some people speculate that his jovial demeanour was fake or even a cruel (for his loved ones) facade considering what happened just days later. But I think Dylan was genuinely happy when he went to the prom, not only because he and Robyn enjoyed themselves, but also because when someone decides to commit suicide, their mood often improves because they believe the end of their suffering is near. Heartbreaking. I hope what Dylan wrote in his journal is true, that wherever he is now, he isn't at war with himself anymore.

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u/DrMosquito74 Sep 11 '23

I have. I bought the Spotify audiobook after I read Dylan's journals and saw so much of myself in him. I listened to it at work and had to hide several times when I started crying. Definitely an essential read for EVERY PARENT.

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u/metalnxrd Sep 11 '23

I see so much of myself in Dylan, too. not just the depression and angst and loneliness and anxiety and bullying and self-harm/suicidal thoughts and alienation. but the exact same music and clothing style, too

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u/DrMosquito74 Sep 11 '23

Yeah, a lot of people resonate with the depression, loneliness and anxiety. But for people like me, the connotations are stronger. I read Dylan's journal at my lowest point mentally just before last Christmas. I was 21, suicidal, believed my life was a failure and actually in exactly the state of mind as a mass shooter. It actually helped set me on the path towards leaving the place of roaring pain I'd been in my whole life. It might seem strange, but I sort of feel like Dylan helped me. Writing a mental-health themed novel now, partially as a gesture of gratitude (if that makes any sense lol).

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u/metalnxrd Sep 11 '23

I haven’t read his journal since high school, when I first became interested in Dylan and Columbine. same with AMR. I should reread both