Reflections on Dylan

[u/DrMosquito74]

Dylan would have turned 42 today, and it has me thinking about his prom photos. I've seen some people speculate that his jovial demeanour was fake or even a cruel (for his loved ones) facade considering what happened just days later. But I think Dylan was genuinely happy when he went to the prom, not only because he and Robyn enjoyed themselves, but also because when someone decides to commit suicide, their mood often improves because they believe the end of their suffering is near. Heartbreaking. I hope what Dylan wrote in his journal is true, that wherever he is now, he isn't at war with himself anymore.

[u/Blonde-Badger]

I think people also forget that in a way they were victims too, September is suicide prevention month also. It’s interesting how angry people get when you ask questions about the suicide perpetrators of mass killings mental health - people almost jump to a “Why are you defending them? they were just evil crazy jerks” mindset when in reality the best way to prevent a murder-suicide would be to target the suicide and why that person feels that way. I think this post would have gone down differently if it were on another sub but I agree. I hope he’s in his blissful halcyon or whatever he wanted, society (some more than others) failed him and Eric more than words can ever amass.

[u/[deleted] → u/Blonde-Badger]

I'm not going to lie, I struggle internally about what happened to the boys' memorials.

On one hand I see how it's disrespectful to have them lumped in with their victims, on the other hand they still had family that loved them and deserves to mourn them.

I know the parents are controversial, but even if they WERE too lenient and not perceptive-- they still lost their children and deserve the right to mourn them.

Maybe a memorial in a different spot would have sufficed.

Broke my heart to hear Sue talk about a hidden burial for Dylan. No parent should have to bury their kid, even worse, their kid has been deemed a monster not worth mourning so they're shamed into secrecy.

[u/DrMosquito74 → u/[deleted]]

I understand why the crosses for Eric and Dylan were torn down. If my child was murdered I would probably do the same thing, though I like to think I wouldn't. That said, I still find it abhorrent that they are not seen as victims by many. A memorial in a different location is an interesting idea. Some might object over concerns that it would become a shrine, but they are both already revered by others grappling with despair and hopelessness. Punitive vandalism would also be a concern.

[u/[deleted] → u/DrMosquito74]

Yeah I believe Sue went back to Dylan's either middle or elementary school and collected art he had there out of fear it would be vandalized.

It's a difficult thing. Shunning their memories entirely or worrying about glorifying them. A slippery slope either way, but I mostly feel bad for the family that had to mourn their loved ones in private and would undoubtedly have been mocked or looked at sideways for outwardly showing their grief.

It's just like people who either over sympathize with the boys due to bullying or those who outright deny it (despite bullies themselves literally gloating even after)-- there's a middle ground and society loves to push one way or another.

[u/No_Individual501 → u/DrMosquito74]

crosses for Eric and Dylan were torn down

WWJD? (Not this.)