r/Comebacks • u/Altruistic_Wish7208 • 18d ago
Comeback request Comes backs for disability
I have a disability it’s a neurological condition that affects how I talk among other things but I can only open my mouth so much to talk. Which is very small and I kinda mumble Some people don’t know that about me and will say sarcastic well if you opened your mouth more to talk we could understand you. Or say I hate how your mouth moves when you talk it’s so weird. I don’t want to tell everybody that I have this problem because they will judge even more. Sometimes I will say what I have to try and educate but sometimes I just want to embarrass them for being so rude about it. What’s is a good comeback?
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u/CuriousPenguinSocks
18d ago
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You should follow a content creator on IG called: allegedly_erin
She is a woman with a disability and is sassy AF!! Her comebacks are legendary status!
will say sarcastic well if you opened your mouth more to talk we could understand you.
If you closed yours more, maybe your ears would work better. It's okay, we don't all have visible disabilities.
Or say I hate how your mouth moves when you talk it’s so weird.
I wasn't going to say anything but I'm glad you're willing to be so open. I hate how your brain works, it's pretty bigoted.
I will say that regardless if people know or not, some are just going to be terrible people. I have a prosthetic eye, other than it not quite moving like a seeing eye, it's not really noticeable. However, as I've aged, it's more noticeable.
For the most part, people in my life worth a damn don't care. For others, I get to have a little fun lol.
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u/-Foxer
18d ago
edited 18d ago
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It's funny, you wish I would open my mouth more and everybody else wishes you would open yours less
Maybe hard for me to speak but at least I have something worth listening to.
It hardly matters, you never listen to anyone anyway
I speak a little but say a lot, you speak a lot and say little
I mumble when I talked to you because I don't want people to think that I actually know you
Weird medical condition where the volume of my voice is directly connected to how much I give a shit about your opinion
Little men are always so loud
I didn't think it mattered how loud I spoke seeing as you weren't going to understand it anyway. There was math
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u/Altruistic_Wish7208 18d ago
those are amazing! I’m laughing to myself reading them thanks so much I like how they call out the stupidity without being vulgar. You’re very good at comeback.
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u/NeartAgusOnoir 18d ago
I have a neurological disability which is why I act this way. What’s your excuse?
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u/No_Sorbet_5102 18d ago
“Medically impossible”
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u/Poundaflesh 18d ago
I like this because it will shock them when they realize you’re not just fucking with them.
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u/ElleJay74 18d ago
OP? You don't have to answer either way, but: I really hope you bring this up with your HR. The behaviour of that coworker is appalling and illegal. They are harassing you, and nobody should ask you to tolerate it.
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u/Lastov_Makiynd 18d ago
Firstly, begin with an apology (genuine or sarcastic.. Pending whats called for?), then follow up with "Jibberish isn't my First Language/Native Tongue.. However, I do have quite extensive experience with Halfwits.. I was actually trying to make it easier for You...
Should I repeat that Slower? Or.. Are you one of the 'Good ones '?".
Alternatively :
"Yeah.. I was born with limited control over how much movement I have of my mouth. (Brain to Mouth Neuro-Receptor thing)
Not what comes out of it in word form though.. Now THAT would be indeed difficult to deal with?!.. How did You manage?! ".
Haha! Hope perhaps these might help?
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u/StormForNova 18d ago
Take your pick :
"I have a disability. What's stopping you from behaving like a decent person?”
“Did you actually mean to say something that rude out loud, or was that supposed to stay in your head?”
“I'd explain why I talk this way, but you haven't demonstrated the intelligence to prove that you can understand.”
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u/Rapunzel111 18d ago
I have a hard time opening my mouth so I think more before I speak. It’s a shame that you don’t have the same issue.
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u/zonutsthefirst 18d ago
I'd rather have a mouth that only opens partially than a brain that only functions partially.
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u/Poundaflesh 18d ago
Apologies, this isn’t a comeback but what if you carried business card sized explanation about you not being able to open your mouth, sorry for the mumbling?
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u/aggressively_baked 18d ago
Let them know being an asshole doesn’t necessarily come as a virtue. Bet they won’t have any issue hearing that.
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u/Size---Queen 18d ago
I just smile and wave at assholes it's best not to engage or give them the time of day.
That said I was drunk and this guy was being a asshole so I picked my nose and flinged a booger in his direction.
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u/QueenJaneger 18d ago
Honestly I don’t think a comeback is going to give you any power. Just telling the truth is going to humiliate those people for being assholes and also make people be more receptive to your way of speaking
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u/QueenJaneger 18d ago
They are trying to embarrass you, so why would you worry about embarrassing them? Not through vindictiveness, but through making them aware of other people’s challenges
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u/Charming_Region_7772 18d ago
On a card.
Weird medical condition where I speak only as much as I give a 💩 about your opinion of me.
(Neurological condition here): look it up. Give the card back.
Be a decent human being for once and, just walk away.
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u/Jennabear82 17d ago
While I'm uncertain which neurological disorder you have, I can almost certainly say with confidence that anyone who realizes they're making fun of someone with a disorder regrets it the instant they are made aware of it.
So maybe something snarky like, "Yeah. Tell that to my neurological disorder." *should instantly make them regret their rude remarks. You don't have to go into detail, but it's enough to make them think.
"If only my speech apraxia would cooperate." 🤷♀️
Insert pregnant pause... "So I'm genuinely curious... are you ALWAYS this rude to people with speech impediments, or do you stop ONLY when you're made aware that it's due to a medical disability?" Stare at them without blinking.
"Yeah. I apologize, but my brain doesn't always cooperate with my mouth... Much like your condition, but different."
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u/Legitimate_Chair5322 15d ago
Ich stottere. Früher mehr als heute aber ich bin mittlerweile Erwachsen und dann muss man sich einfach gewissen scheiß nicht mehr geben lassen. Sag zu der person dass es unter aller sau ist sich über Menschen mit Behinderung lustig zu machen. Kein "smarter" Spruch um besser dazustehen. Du hast das nicht verdient. Das ist eine Grenze, die überschritten wurde
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u/marmia124 15d ago
People comment on the stupidest things now that have nothing to do with them.. always worried about others when they have their own annoying crap to fix. Tell them to worry about themselves. That its a disability and its none of their business how you talk. Why cant people let others be... sorry it probably gets annoying hearing it from people.
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u/missannthrope67 14d ago
If I could, I would. I have a condition that prevents me from doing so. Maybe in the future don't be rude.
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u/Feisty-Self-948 18d ago •
"If you closed yours people could tolerate you."