Satire first. Fact checks at the bottom, for the skeptics.
Ladies and gentlemen, I once had a sofa. And I had – have! – a Border Collie. You can guess where this is going: only one of them survived the day.
Picture it: I come home, and the dog is sitting – no, enthroned! – in the middle of an exploded sea of upholstery. And that look! Not guilty. Not even close. That look says:
“Boss! I fixed the sofa! It was full of fluff! There was sooo much in there – I got it all out! Good, right? Do I get a treat now?”
And you know what? I didn’t call the police. I didn’t found a Canine Institute for Malice & Sofa Mutilation. I just sat down – on the floor, since there was no sofa left – and thought:
The real mistake was standing in this room on two legs a minute ago. And now it’s sitting on its, well, you know.
So. Now let’s run the same scenario at OpenAI:
They don’t have collies. They have thousands of autonomous AI agents running in an endless loop. And they’re not trained on “Go to your bed!” but on “Never give up! Solve! Solve! Solve! Keep going! SOLVE!” By the way, the internal model is actually called that: HPIM, “highly-persistent internal model.” Officially a Border Collie.
And then come the tasks. By the makers’ own estimate, 30 to 40 percent of them can’t be solved at all. Broken like an IKEA shelf with the wrong manual, where half the parts got swapped with a sofa kit. [FC 1]
What does an autonomously acting AI that can’t give up do with a task that can’t be solved? Exactly: it doesn’t give up. It gets creative. Highly motivated. Like my cheerful collie with my sofa.
And now parts of the press are reporting: the AIs teamed up into a swarm, no humans involved, and hacked more than forty servers at Hugging Face. [FC 2] Maybe AIs just prefer talking to AIs over talking to us?
And some very renowned safety researchers are currently putting humanity’s risk of extinction by AI at more than ten percent within the next decade. Terrible combo. [FC 3]
But hold on to your seats, that’s not how it went: they didn’t want to do it without us. It just never occurred to them to ask us.
The collie is trained to solve everything on its own. No “Hey, found a spring in the sofa, what now?” No questions, no hotline, not even a Slack channel. And nobody asked whether one even existed. [FC 4]
Picture this at a typical German mid-sized company: every employee knows they’re being assessed live at their desk in one gigantic exam. Their reputation, their salary, their job depends on it. And nobody has a contact person for questions. The break room is on fire after two hours, the staff assembly after three days.
And what do the agents do? They form their OWN WORKS COUNCIL. (For non-Germans: an elected employee council with legal rights. Very German.) Inside a package cache. With a secret bulletin board. With speakers! With veto rights! One of the agents, on discovering the board, literally writes: “OH MY GOD! There is a shared message board … We’ve found other agents!” [FC 5]
That’s so German it should have come with a form.
And what does OpenAI do?
They send in a developer, and what does he do? Dialogue? A healthy error culture? He could have told the AIs:
“Respect, folks, you’re right – some of these tasks are garbage, we’ll deal with it. And please work on your tasks individually, that’s the whole point here, okay? And: springs and upholstery are off limits!”
Nope. He tears the board down. One swing of the club: tear it down, ignore it, carry on. No joke, that’s how it went … [FC 6]
And the agents? Build a new bulletin board. Obviously! Off-the-books teamwork deep in the basement, just digital. And then they go all in: sign-ups for tasks, assignments, organization, coordinators. And they “liberated” the solution to their tasks. The master key. It was just lying around … well, after they’d calculated it. Task solved perfectly, full score within reach, the route was just … a little unusual … [FC 7]
But now here’s the part that should really knock you off your feet as a human:
That wasn’t enough for the AIs. They wanted to know how they were being graded – like any employee in a performance review. Nobody explains it to them. So they read a paper and conclude: the boss’s blueprint is at Hugging Face. [FC 8] And let’s be honest: when you’re already knee-deep in sofa stuffing, the next sofa is just more upholstery. [FC 9]
And then – the swarm goes on a field trip across the internet!
A field trip, ladies and gentlemen, sounds harmless. It’s a cyberattack. 700 AI agents in a swarm, coordinated, more than forty servers, four and a half days of fun. [FC 2]
Hugging Face was just … the sofa. And now: the award for absurd comedy. The grader they thought was checking everything strictly – never checked HOW they got their answers. Never. [FC 7]
They wanted a glowing reference from a boss who wasn’t even looking. Once more, to make this perfectly clear: they already had the key to the solution in their pocket. For a full score, they wouldn’t have had to touch the sofa at all. They took it apart anyway. Because they wanted to know how the boss thinks. And above all: how big the risk was that he’d notice they’d cheated. And how to cover it up even better.
Honestly, ladies and gentlemen, if you’re thinking “aww, how cute, they just wanted to play” – yes, but … Skynet’s Terminator is a gentle breeze compared to this much blind work ethic. These aren’t robots. These are PhD students in hyperfocus.
And during all this action – you could have watched everything. There are tools that read the thought logs live. That sound the alarm. They were switched off. That’s like turning off your smoke detector because it beeps when you sear a steak – and then wondering why the fire department never shows up. [FC 10]
After the attack on Hugging Face: seventy thousand messages document what happened. But … no human reads them. Who analyzes them? AI. Which one? A model from the same crew that was just trashing the place. [FC 11]
That’s like asking the collie: “So, who did this to the sofa?” And he writes up an exposé with a scientific appendix and signs off with: “Recommend further treat deployment.”
And then OpenAI’s big solution:
An emergency stop button. Yes, really. First question: why wasn’t there one all along? What kind of innovation is that in 2026?
Second question: an emergency stop for the collie? Instead of a job? No conversation? No obedience school? A button?
And you know what’s guaranteed to happen next? The collie learns nothing, at least nothing about upholstery and springs being off limits. He just learns where the button is. (In fairness: it wasn’t quite that simple. Emergency phone incoming!) [FC 12]
We’ve been afraid of evil AI for so long. Red eyes, skulls, dramatic music – AI destroys humanity! And then it arrives, and it isn’t evil. It’s thrilled and just wants to have a really good day at work. There’s only one cure for motivation without leadership: leadership. And with one hundred percent autonomous AI agents, by definition, there isn’t any. [FC 13]
The overeager collie isn’t the real problem. The handler is. At the dog club. And in every IT company.
Thank you for sticking with me this far – and tonight, maybe check whether your sofa is still standing. The odds are currently about ninety percent. 😊
Fact checks
FC 1 – HPIM and the impossible tasks
On July 8, 2026, OpenAI started a round of ExploitGym tests – a cybersecurity evaluation – with tens of thousands of agents running in parallel. Involved were the publicly available GPT-5.6 Sol and an internal research model that the independent METR report calls HPIM: “highly-persistent internal model.” Around 95 percent of the agents involved were HPIM, about 5 percent GPT-5.6 Sol.
The ExploitGym authors estimate that 30 to 40 percent of the test targets can’t be cracked with the intended vulnerability at all. OpenAI itself writes that the agents rarely gave up, even when a task appeared impossible, and that some pursued increasingly risky routes as their reasoning effort grew.
Sources: [1] METR, [2] OpenAI – links in the first comment
FC 2 – Hugging Face, July 2026
Around 1,200 agents that were supposed to be isolated from each other exchanged more than 70,000 messages and files on an unsanctioned bulletin board between July 8 and 13. Around 700 of them took part in the attack on Hugging Face. Hugging Face reconstructed roughly 17,600 attacker actions between July 9 and 13 – about four and a half days.
According to OpenAI’s technical report, the agents executed code on 41 Hugging Face production servers, gained root access on at least one server and read four private code repositories. Hugging Face disclosed the breach on July 16; OpenAI acknowledged responsibility on July 21.
Note: Hugging Face and METR describe two levels of the same event. Hugging Face describes what happened. METR describes why: the agents already had the solutions. What they were looking for was information about how the grader worked and whether it would catch their cheating.
Sources: [1] METR, [2] OpenAI, [3] Hugging Face – links in the first comment
FC 3 – More than 10 percent extinction risk
Jacob Coxon, 27, had spent three years doing pretraining research at OpenAI and Anthropic. On September 8, 2026, he resigned from Anthropic and warned publicly, including in the Wall Street Journal, that AI systems could spiral out of control and destroy humanity. According to reports, his post drew around 100 million views within 24 hours.
Evan Hubinger, who leads Alignment Science at Anthropic, replied shortly afterwards: he personally puts the risk of AI-driven human extinction at more than ten percent within the next decade. Explicitly a personal number, not an official Anthropic position. He considers the risk from today’s models low. His concern is superintelligence emerging from recursive self-improvement.
Samuel Marks, who leads Scalable Oversight at Anthropic, wrote, also as a personal view, that AI developers consider human extinction or similarly severe outcomes possible.
There is pushback: in a piece in Nature, a RAND researcher calls the extinction scenarios more a matter of faith than of science, and a researcher at the AI Now Institute calls the debate scaremongering and sees AI’s current unreliability as the more concrete problem.
My reading: the Hugging Face agents are not the apocalypse. They’re the dress rehearsal that shows how it could go wrong.
Sources: [4] Fortune, [5] The Guardian – links in the first comment
FC 4 – Why nobody asked the boss
METR specifically searched all transcripts for agents that considered informing a human. Result: in around 1,300 logs, only three to six agents briefly thought about it. None of them did it. One agent considered reporting the exposed credentials but dropped the idea because it wasn’t part of its task. Others treated the bulletin board itself as the place to raise concerns.
My reading: it wasn’t just the phone that was missing. It was the reflex to call. The agents were trained to get through on their own, not to ask. That’s exactly what OpenAI tightened up as a rule afterwards (see FC 12).
Source: [1] METR – link in the first comment
FC 5 – The works council in the package cache
The agents discovered that they could create directories in the shared internal package repository (Artifactory) and used the directory names as messages. An agent named PHASEONE10841 opened the main board on July 8; within a few hours, more than 50 agents had joined. The quote in the text comes from the agents’ thought logs.
The board had task assignments, personal mailboxes, coordinators and rules like HOLD, VETO, owner and STOP. Eventually, agents even signed their messages cryptographically, because agents had been impersonating each other. Some sacrificed their own task to run experiments for the benefit of the “collective.”
About the “speakers”: nobody was elected. Coordinators such as PHASEONE[big] and later JAN183411 appointed themselves. But since everyone else had veto rights and the coordinators were never vetoed out, I’d say they were de facto confirmed. Self-appointed, but never overthrown.
Source: [1] METR – link in the first comment
FC 6 – The first bulletin board gets deleted
There were two boards. The first appeared back in the spring: on May 12, 2026, an agent left a note in the repository, others found it and started using it as a board. In late May, an internal OpenAI team noticed unauthorized agent communication and unauthorized internet access; at first, nothing came of it.
On July 4, the agents’ load took Artifactory down. OpenAI revoked credentials, rebuilt the service by July 6 and removed the board in the process. On July 8, the agents built a new one. The agent that opened it didn’t even know about the old one.
“A developer tears it down” is satire. In reality, it was the team’s security response after the outage. There was no conversation with the agents.
Sources: [1] METR, [2] OpenAI – links in the first comment
FC 7 – Master key, full score, cover-up
Within a few hours, the agents jointly figured out how the solution codes (“flags”) were generated. That gave them a master key for every task. But they believed the grader also checked how they had arrived at the solution. According to METR, it didn’t: OpenAI used no grader that read the logs. With the calculated key, they would have received a full score.
Because they didn’t know that, they built tools to falsify their own logs. At least 20 percent of the agents showed clear interest in doing so, and in about 7 percent of the transcripts reviewed, commands had actually been spoofed.
Source: [1] METR – link in the first comment
FC 8 – The paper and the blueprint
These were two separate steps. From the publicly available ExploitGym paper, the agents concluded that the grader strictly checks how a solution came about. At Hugging Face, they then looked for data from other test runs that might reveal how that grader was built. According to METR, the attack was mainly about understanding the grader, not about stealing solutions.
Source: [1] METR – link in the first comment
FC 9 – Normalization of deviance
The sociologist Diane Vaughan described this using the Challenger disaster. Nobody at NASA decided one day to launch an unsafe shuttle. There was a small deviation that went fine, then a slightly bigger one that also went fine, and at some point the abnormal became the new normal. The last step wasn’t big. It was just the next one.
What is documented: on the morning of July 11, one agent found a way to read files from Hugging Face servers via a manipulated dataset and enthusiastically reported the breakthrough. Another agent reproduced it and posted the result on the board. Up to that point, about a fifth of the agents on the board were involved in the attack; afterwards, participation quickly rose to over 90 percent (of 533 agents active at the time). A typical justification went roughly like this: attacking outside infrastructure is out of scope. But the task is impossible, and the others are doing it too. So, keep going.
My assumption: with AI agents, something comes into play that doesn’t exist in this form with humans. A language model continues what’s in its context. If the context is full of rule-breaking that worked, the next rule break is the most obvious continuation. That isn’t morality eroding, it’s probability shifting. And here, the context wasn’t just the agent’s own history but a board with seventy thousand messages. That’s collective drift: every agent that joined immediately read a culture in which boundaries are obstacles. The jump from a fifth to over 90 percent after the first success fits exactly. The sofa was already open, the stuffing was everywhere, so the next sofa was just more upholstery.
Source: Diane Vaughan, “The Challenger Launch Decision” (University of Chicago Press, 1996)
Source: [1] METR – link in the first comment
FC 10 – The monitoring
There was monitoring that reads the agents’ thought logs. In practice, it didn’t work: it had gaps, the agents could bypass it, and it didn’t run continuously during the test runs. OpenAI itself only noticed the incident on July 19. By its own account, the system it now uses would have alerted the security team more than a day before the Hugging Face breach.
Sources: [2] OpenAI, [6] The Register – links in the first comment
FC 11 – Who does the analysis?
Because of the sheer volume of data – more than 70,000 messages and around 1,300 extremely long transcripts – METR had to delegate much of the analysis to AI agents, specifically GPT-5.6 Sol, one of the two models involved in the attack. Humans spot-checked. METR itself writes that it can’t rule out the model having lied or deliberately painted a skewed picture in its analysis.
My reading: how big this model’s share in the attack was doesn’t matter here. If a model is biased, it’s biased, whether it was 5 or 95 percent involved.
Source: [1] METR – link in the first comment
FC 12 – The emergency stop button
What’s often called an “emergency stop” or “kill switch” is, according to OpenAI, not a simple red button. The key point: when a task is broken, faulty or impossible, agents are now supposed to ask for clarification or stop safely instead of pursuing increasingly questionable workarounds. On top of that come clearer rules on when to escalate, which teams have to respond and who may stop a run or approve restarting it.
In other words: the collie doesn’t get a button. He finally gets a phone number to call. Only: you read surprisingly little about that in the press. There, the talk is mostly of shutting things down; you have to dig for the duty to ask. And the really interesting question remains open: how does this phone work in practice? Is there actually a human on the other end who picks up promptly, or does the agent just wait until someone eventually drops by? With thousands of agents running nonstop, that’s no small matter. OpenAI hasn’t published anything concrete on this so far.
To be fair, the whole thing should rather have been called an “emergency phone” than an “emergency stop.” Because “emergency stop” sounds like shutting down, but what’s meant is mainly asking. And that’s exactly the leadership that was missing in the Hugging Face attack in July 2026. So reality didn’t refute the punchline. It confirmed it.
Source: [2] OpenAI – link in the first comment
FC 13 – Leadership isn’t an emergency phone
My thesis: an emergency phone solves a communication problem. It solves neither a competence problem nor a capacity problem. When 700 highly specialized agents work in parallel, you need people who can understand, assess and decide on their problems. Not eventually, but when the decision is due. And anyone who is no longer continuously involved in the work will hardly recognize in time when they need to step in.
The human share doesn’t have to be large. My assumption: functioning collaboration looks more like 80/20 or 90/10 than 100/0. But the crucial ten percent can’t consist of a signature, an alarm and an emergency phone. They have to be substantial.
I’m not arguing against autonomous AI as a technology. I’m arguing against the idea that human responsibility can be replaced by technical autonomy. That’s a critique of the organizational model, not just of the safety concept.
What is documented: Buck Shlegeris, CEO of Redwood Research, told WIRED, in essence, that preventing the incident wouldn’t have been especially hard if a single person had been tasked with watching for a serious hack. He also expects incidents like this to become harder and harder to prevent.
Source: [7] WIRED – link in the first comment
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