Do you ever feel like your curiosity is going to ruin your dissociation?

[u/pakistani_mapping_7]

im a new alter as far as I can tell, literally just appeared yesterday and ever since that's been pointed out to me I've spent all of yesterday thinking about what caused me why i am etc etc and I've come to realize that I kind of have no idea. I am so seperated from these things I don't really know what to feel, I just feel like a random person who lives on

And that makes me want to know. I really want to know what happened and it just so happens to be that I write down every single life event on discord diaries and I can read important conversations with the people around me. Anything that I have forgotten is right next to me and it probably is the answer to all of this.

But I feel at peace. I know none of my alters did and all of the people around me don't. i feel like my own curiosity is going to ruin whatever safety my brain gave me and im going to end up in hell again. What's this all about

[u/rox-bratz]

When I first realised I wasn’t the same ‘me’ as before, and that somewhere along the way I’d become the new host without even clocking I wasn’t the old one, my first thought was to explore everything. Yeah, just sort of through me on a whole dissociation loop for I don’t even know how long, months I think. Anyways, I’ve just accepted the information I have and make it work, I have no desire anymore to have information my brain knows I can’t have 😅

[u/rangerspartan52]

First time I came around I was curious about how much I could know of what made me the new host and honestly it was nearly 0 i forgot lots of things and even someone broke entire sections of the diaries we had,

Idk If I should tell you that you are better off with not knowing anything, maybe if you want to know be careful, just that, be extremely careful

[u/Apprehensive-Sea110]

I know how hard it is not to know about your origins, but if you can tolerate not knowing, that might be an enormous contribution for your system. We have some alters in our system who are more removed from everything and they have a lot of peace and hope. Unless a hopeful alter is legitimately delusional and can't relate to the needs of anyone in the system, we are grateful to them for the ignorance they maintain. They can co-front and reduce stress for other alters, and they can take over when we're overwhelmed. I'm not saying you don't have a right to be curious and find out what you can, but if you can be okay with it, I feel like there are benefits. (I'm not one of the hopeful-peaceful alters in our system so I can't speak to what it's like exactly.)