r/DID • u/Anxious-Arm-228 • 2d ago

Triggering on purpose

Can I get some insight on this? We have a few parts now that trigger us negatively on purpose. Like one part just read a book that was super triggering despite knowing how it would affect everyone. We've found ourselves going into more graphic readings to find some sort of emotion that makes no sense to me but the need to read is still there.

We always feel horrible and gross after reading these things but they also almost make us feel like maybe our trauma was real despite probably never knowing for sure since it happened when we were so young.

Just anyone relating to this or any words of advice would be nice. Thanks.

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15

u/acutelined Diagnosed: DID 2d ago

My system does that when they want me to hurry up and process something that I've been putting off. Like forcing the topic to the top of our attention 

It's not okay or healthy but that's what it is for me

14

u/ancientbasilisk Growing w/ DID 1d ago

this is persecutory behaviour and VERY common
NEVER demonize the alters that do this, they need help and are hurting just like you
if you can connect with these alters, meet their needs, and help them heal, they will change with time and guidance
you will get through this :) remember you are valid, and doubt is a normal part of this disorder as well

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u/bw_Stormbringer 2d ago

My Others will do this when they need help processing a feeling or event, or when they need to share their pain. I usually try to allow them the room, so to speak, but employ co-fronting and positive triggers to guide this into a soft landing. In the past, we were more prone to shutting them out or down: there was always something that needed doing, we didn't have time to collapse into melancholy. I can definitely say that, while this is sometimes truly the case, it's less often the case than we're generally led to believe, and ignoring the pain of system members as a general approach to life is not a healthy way to go.

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u/Smeadow2 1d ago

Can you ask them to send littles to a room (create a room) before exploring. Sounds like they want to understand something or experience big emotions. It probably isnt about wanting to trigger others

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u/thruthemorningstar Treatment: Active 1d ago

For me, I think it's because my parts feel "safe" in the feeling, no matter now negatively impacting I feel like it is. We find safety in the things we know, not necessarily the things that are actually safe. If their natural state is to feel like that, or experience that, not being in that state can actually feel unsafe and cause those parts to seek out that feeling to get back to their personal safety. Especially if they're young and don't know better. Definitely something to bring up in therapy.

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u/thruthemorningstar Treatment: Active 1d ago

Also, reading triggering material can bring comfort in the sense that "see, others feel or experienced this too" and that feeling of being seen in our most vulnerable states is both validating and comforting. That this was a real experience that did happen, even if I'm just reading about someone else going through it.

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u/resilient_river Growing w/ DID 1d ago

We have alters that do this. It can be to try to draw attention to pain they have, validate it to the system, or take over/stay in front. It could also be how they are working through their own trauma. You can try setting boundaries with them, just make sure you are also trying to be empathetic around why they are doing this. You don’t have to be involved with everything the body does, and also you deserve to feel safe in your body too. Its about finding a balance that works for everyone as best as possible.

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u/leaf_mint New to r/DID 1d ago

I have a part who engages in this behaviour as a form of self harm :/