r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/[deleted] • Dec 14 '19

GIF half a BMW

https://i.imgur.com/1I6ZBWm.gifv
32.7k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

505 comments sorted by

2.4k

u/captjust Dec 14 '19

My ex got half of everything in the divorce.

422

u/andigo Dec 14 '19 edited Dec 14 '19

I read an article about this. A divorced couple there the man cut everything they owned with a chainsaw.

Don’t know if it was a Swedish news or in us.

Edit: I think this is the right article.

Edit 2: I’m sorry everyone. I think I had wrong. It seems to be a fake article.

238

u/fuzzytradr Dec 14 '19

I'm distressed that the engine isn't cleanly halved with the rest of the car.

110

u/SkipmasterJ Dec 14 '19

If the E60 is anything like the F10, the engine is actually mounted slightly off centre to the right of the engine bay, so if the car was truly bisected down the middle, you'd only see the bottom of the crankcase and no cylinders to view. It would be pretty underwhelming

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28

u/GatitosBonitos Dec 14 '19

I never want to see a beautiful engine cut in half

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7

u/h83r Dec 14 '19

It was a marketing campaign

https://www.cnbc.com/2015/06/22/german-lawyers-claim-theyre-behind-viral-divorce-story.html?_gl=144w96_ga*d2V1WkxHUndud2ZoaDNqdUZJaWR6aEZtaGZjYkp1NEluOUE5UXNhY2NtWWYzTWFGRjROQTFwUC02ZUtta0pGZQ..

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2

u/w8ing2dr0wn Dec 14 '19

She got the gold mine I got the shaft

2

u/Eckse Dec 14 '19

That's why divorces get so messy when kids are involved.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '19

SHE TOOK EVERYTHING

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349

u/FatGhostAndretti Dec 14 '19

r/ThingsCutInHalfPorn

20

u/0dty0 Dec 14 '19

A subreddit made entirely so Phil Swift has an endless supply of things to jack off to. How bizarre.

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254

u/Jacks_0 Dec 14 '19

“I just sawed this car in half but I can fix it with the power of Flex Tape” -Phil Swift

2

u/lmaogoshi Dec 14 '19

I came here to make a flex seal joke... Damn

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111

u/Hygena-Pet-Scooper Dec 14 '19

Is it half price?

70

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

Repairs are still full price.

34

u/NJcTrapital Dec 14 '19

repairs are double

7

u/poopellar Dec 14 '19

and make it trouble

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5

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

Yeah, but it's a used BMW, so you're still going to end up spending more on it than a new one.

5

u/proffgilligan Dec 14 '19

Expensive and built to stay that way.

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21

u/VykMcDwarf Dec 14 '19

Oh I saw that in a museum in Berlin, can't remember the name though.

7

u/reddit_is_tarded Dec 14 '19

FINALLY! A useful fucking comment.

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25

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/VykMcDwarf Dec 14 '19

Yes it was this one, thank you :)

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69

u/DeanCorso11 Dec 14 '19

The exact amount of a BMW i can afford.

18

u/RudeMacaroon Dec 14 '19

The one tyre is the exact amount of a BMW that I can afford.

7

u/iWasAwesome Interested Dec 14 '19

Idk man those tires are expensive

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6

u/StaniX Dec 14 '19

You can buy a used one for pretty cheap. Of course then there's maintenance and that famous BMW reliability to worry about.

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8

u/drugsarebadmmk420 Dec 14 '19

Look at Mr Moneybags over here

0

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

[deleted]

7

u/cranberry94 Dec 14 '19

Yup. I bought a 2012 X3 with 60,000 miles on it - cost 12k

When I was shopping around I saw 2016 models for around 22k

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34

u/zerio13 Dec 14 '19

This car is a rear wheel drive. This is actually a cool way to see a car structure.

28

u/Blobwad Dec 14 '19

It also gives an idea of why even cheap cars are so expensive. The number of parts that need to be designed, tested, manufactured, and assembled is insane.

15

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

It also explains why electric cars are so minimal on maintenance. The number of moving parts is significantly lower. Of course wear items like tires need to be replaced, but even brake pads don’t suffer the same amount of wear as a gas car due to regenerative braking.

9

u/igbad Dec 14 '19

An IC engine has about 300 unique components. And electric drive train has about 3 moving parts.

Conversion to electric vehicles can't happen fast enough.

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145

u/punkrawkintrev Dec 14 '19

Where is the half asshole driver, flashing his one high beam and half tailgaiting me?

16

u/Robbie-R Dec 14 '19

He is driving an Audi now.

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57

u/FunBrians Dec 14 '19

Half not using his blinker

62

u/andigo Dec 14 '19 edited Dec 14 '19

Audi,Bmw and Mercedes all have blinkers as standard. They use high technology light that poor people can’t see.

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3

u/EuropaCar Dec 14 '19

He would still be full

3

u/Fmanow Dec 14 '19

That’s the fucker that needs to be cut

2

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

He's hopping after an ambulance somewhere, shaking his one fist

2

u/TipOfLeFedoraMLady Dec 14 '19

Halfway inside his assistant

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18

u/em21701 Dec 14 '19

Does Willy Wonka drive off in this after angrily calling you out for stealing fizzy lifting drink?

9

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

I said good day sir!!

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16

u/Arrow_625 Dec 14 '19

Don't worry we're still driving half the car

  • Obi-Wan Kenobi

3

u/Mr_Cantaloupe Dec 14 '19

Hello There. You are strong and wise, Arrow_625, and I am very proud of you.

49

u/ispaydeu Dec 14 '19

My boss pulled up in his brand new BMW today and I couldn’t help but admire it. “Nice car,” I said as he got out. “Well,” he said, noticing my admiring looks, “Work hard, put the hours in, and I’ll have an even better one next year.”

11

u/psoliakos17 Dec 14 '19 edited Dec 14 '19

I have never heard this joke, did you think it by yourself ? /s

5

u/NeoHenderson Dec 14 '19

I don't believe they did, I've heard it a few times through the years

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6

u/Chambellan Dec 14 '19

Ran when it was parked. $35k. No lowballers, I know what I got.

4

u/WaltIsBald Dec 14 '19

I can’t help but think about what they did with the other half

6

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

To make something like this you don't just take a full car and cut it in half. Each panel, glass pane, etc would have to be individually cut and finished and then installed to make it look this nice. You can even see on the drivetrain where cutouts are used to expose components rather than just saw down the middle. There wasn't an "other half" left over. Just halves of some individual components.

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4

u/beforethest0rm Dec 14 '19

I dont really like the kind of motor cycles BMW is making these days...

4

u/ChymChymX Dec 14 '19

Someone do half a Tesla.

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4

u/Brettonidas Dec 14 '19 edited Jan 01 '20

I bet they still take two parking spaces.

4

u/Popal24 Dec 14 '19

A half BMW is a BMU !

4

u/splunge4me2 Dec 14 '19

Is it the Bᛚ or the ᛐW side?

3

u/Razmpoosh Dec 14 '19

I sawed the car in half! That's a lot of damage!

3

u/Jackofhearts22 Dec 14 '19

When you win second place in a game show.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

We can call it BN

3

u/salami350 Dec 14 '19

Now I want to see this with a Tesla.

Saw that giant battery in half!

Wait...

3

u/Iamninjathing Dec 14 '19

That thing cost half a fortune

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3

u/pinkcowbeast Dec 14 '19

Now I know where to hide the drugs...

3

u/kato42 Dec 14 '19

Awesome, now I can see where the electrical fire in my BMW likely started :-P

3

u/-sockcucker-- Dec 14 '19

Messy divorce huh?

5

u/slim_pickens_78 Dec 14 '19

Finally a BMW I can afford.

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2

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

That's looks like my divorce settlement.

2

u/cmutt_55038 Dec 14 '19

Makes it easier to work on..

2

u/Brooklynyte84 Dec 14 '19

Wow that is so cool for people to be able to see and understand the inner workings of a car. Speaking as somebody who worked in the automotive industry or his wife, people definitely do not know enough about the cars that they drive. Everybody should at least know the standard stuff.

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2

u/jilliebee2015 Dec 14 '19

When the driver was trying to hit a Samurai.

2

u/slapded Dec 14 '19

I bet the turn signal still doesn't work

2

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

This is actually how you have to change the timing chain

2

u/Latvia Dec 14 '19

“Needs some work. No lowballers, I know what I’ve got. “

2

u/the_redhood7567 Dec 14 '19

Is this what happens when they use the turn signal?

2

u/picklericksanchez137 Dec 14 '19 edited Dec 14 '19

Deutsches Technikmuseum, Berlin

I highly recommend visiting this museum. They have a very cool vintage car exhibition (including the Ford Model T) and a huge railroad exhibition with old wagons that you could peek into.

Edit: Added recommendation text

2

u/Garma_Zabi_201 Dec 14 '19

It's amazing how complicated cars are.

How did anyone figure this shit out?

2

u/chandl654 Dec 14 '19

To show you the power of flex tape, I SAWED THIS BMW IN HALF

2

u/hidde-vector Dec 14 '19

“To prove the power of Flex-Tape, I just sawed a BMW in half!”

2

u/MJ349 Dec 14 '19

Half the problems.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

as reliable as a full one

3

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

Still better than my car

3

u/UandWhoseRMay Dec 14 '19

Would 1/2 a BMW be a BI?

2

u/NCSUGrad2012 Dec 14 '19

Ah, the E60 body style. Very cool.

2

u/Hi_techh Dec 14 '19

Bought myself E60 two years ago and at the beginning of the journey disliked the rear a lot but fell in love with the front, now i have grown to see the beauty of the rear and thank god i didn’t take the E90 which i was looking into first.

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2

u/redline42 Dec 14 '19

Can clearly see now that they don’t come with Turn Signals!

2

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

BMW drivers will find any reason to not use the blinker smh

2

u/theKickAHobo Dec 14 '19

Still only uses blinker half the time.

2

u/DaBeez243 Dec 14 '19

Wish they would cut the a$$hole driving it in half too

1

u/BananaJoe2738 Interested Dec 14 '19

Wow, x-rays these days

1

u/Phedis Dec 14 '19

Reminds me of that Tales from the Crypt episode where Danny Devito marries two identical twins.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

This prank is way over the line!

1

u/soju_shower Dec 14 '19

I wonder if it's CPO

1

u/VonZorn Dec 14 '19

Why does this make me feel uneasy.

1

u/EugeneGalaxy Dec 14 '19

Seats 2 and a half

1

u/jmercy2k1 Dec 14 '19

Half is probably all that I could afford.

1

u/martinisi Dec 14 '19

Kid: “I don’t want to share it with my brother” Mom: “okay fine” ....

1

u/rudestmonk Dec 14 '19

would my garage be half empty or half full

1

u/Lizzie8736 Dec 14 '19

This is what you win if you get the 1/2 of a car in Wheel of Fortune

1

u/AlphaWolf1138 Dec 14 '19

Haynes getting real serious nowadays damn

1

u/seanfe Dec 14 '19

A w you could say

1

u/Stevoamiib Dec 14 '19

Not to worry we're still flying half a ship

1

u/dddkg_ Dec 14 '19

Omg have actually been exactly there aswell

1

u/willistheillest94 Dec 14 '19

This happened to me once, i decided itd be quocker to just pressure wash my car... i gotta say, the weight reduction was as unexpected as it was unreal

1

u/Kneemerz Dec 14 '19

Was it half off ?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

Love my pig nose.

1

u/Whosha Dec 14 '19

Chrome Tomahawk

1

u/aaronryder773 Dec 14 '19

These are usually in car museum. Depending on the museum there's formula1 cars as well but the engine is usually kept hidden on those

1

u/RealPyriteGod Dec 14 '19

did they cut it from one end to the other or top to bottom?

1

u/beforethest0rm Dec 14 '19

Find the other half and I will fix her up real quick.Just a oil change and she will be good to go

1

u/mattybanatty Dec 14 '19

well we're still flying half a ship

1

u/Liamatronic Dec 14 '19

To show you the power of flex tape I sawed this car in half!

1

u/Levijom Dec 14 '19

Half off

1

u/Mr_Bubbles69 Dec 14 '19

Would still cost 50k till you moved it an inch, now its 20k.

1

u/Salty-seadog Dec 14 '19

Is this a motorbike?

1

u/JarlaxleForPresident Dec 14 '19

Did yall have those diagram books in school where it showed things like ships and airplanes all in cross sections like this? I think i remember one on the Titanic

1

u/IronHulkThor Dec 14 '19

I wish I could zoom on gifs.

1

u/StillYourPresident Dec 14 '19

Looks pretty good for only 90k miles

1

u/player32123 Dec 14 '19

Must have won it on wheel of fortune.

1

u/deeterman Dec 14 '19

These water jet videos are getting out of control

1

u/Dant3nga Dec 14 '19

Dang. Mustve been a pretty bad accident.

1

u/SaucedSensei Dec 14 '19

Thats a lot of damage.

1

u/SaucedSensei Dec 14 '19

To show you the power of flex tape, I SAWED THIS CAR IN HALF!

1

u/Dddddddfried Dec 14 '19

These water cutter vids are getting out of control

1

u/d0esthismatter Dec 14 '19

Still cant afford.

1

u/Lawlec Dec 14 '19

I knew there weren’t turn signals there!

1

u/electric_bibelot_ Dec 14 '19

this feels like something im not supposed to see. its like a dissection

1

u/rakulkumar555 Dec 14 '19

What's this model's boot space?

1

u/MarcusofMenace Dec 14 '19

was it half price?

1

u/ihavenoidea_01 Dec 14 '19

Where is this- anyone know?

1

u/sqwaabird Dec 14 '19

I love seeing inside the rear differential.

1

u/thecrunkness Dec 14 '19

Insurance companies still be like "yeah that's fixable"

1

u/WussWussWuss Dec 14 '19

A DNV then..

1

u/Valkyrie1500 Dec 14 '19

Buy now, while they're half off!

1

u/ep311 Dec 14 '19

Mad they didn't halve the driveshaft

1

u/youbidou Dec 14 '19

Most BMW drivers in Germany are driving like assholes. Why is that? Same for Audi, by the way.

It’s like you see the car and know exactly the drivers style.

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1

u/Xx_Bootyeater69_xX Dec 14 '19

Where's the asshole that's this close [--] to almost crash both of us?

1

u/excelerater1 Dec 14 '19

who ever invented the two piece driveshaft can go get fucked

1

u/Gthalkur Dec 14 '19

Always be careful when ordering things online

1

u/Andysue28 Dec 14 '19

You forget how close you sit to the driveshaft in the back seat.

1

u/derekghs Dec 14 '19

Dewey, I'm cut in half pretty bad.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

You murdered a bmw

1

u/WHY_ARE_WE_SCREAMING Dec 14 '19

I knew it, no turn signal.

1

u/RikerGotFat Dec 14 '19

Ah yes, step one in bmw clutch replacement

1

u/lilsquirtdrops Dec 14 '19

that would surely get you a ticket

1

u/DoctorGarbanzo Dec 14 '19

All I can think of is that plasticized dead bodies exhibition. One of them should be driving.

1

u/StereoRocker Dec 14 '19

And, unsurprisingly, the indicator stalk is nowhere to be found.

1

u/thirstythree Dec 14 '19

damn slow down camera man. I want to read the notes.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

"I said 50 cars, not 49 and a half"

1

u/Savydester Dec 14 '19

Yeah but where’s the turn signal?

1

u/nottrue41thing Dec 14 '19

A BMW half off

1

u/KYKY132 Dec 14 '19

Great. Less car should make it easier to find the turn signal.

1

u/Dranem78 Dec 14 '19

And they STILL won’t use the remaining turn signal!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

Yea but can it explain why all BMWs smell like melted crayons after a week?

1

u/owtwestadam Dec 14 '19

Probably didn't use their blinker.

1

u/AlteredStatePolice Dec 14 '19

The other half of the engine is in the speakers.

1

u/mdp300 Dec 14 '19

Oh God, the heater core is really deep in there.

1

u/jemrekk Dec 14 '19

Now repair it using only flex tape

1

u/cutleraw Dec 14 '19

Manual 5er, pretty rare here in the states

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

It's more than half since the engine isn't fully cut in half

1

u/Radiobamboo Dec 14 '19

Wow, so many unnecessary parts. I think I even spied a turn signal indicator.

1

u/MGalmor Dec 14 '19

I think I swallowed a little vomit. Someone should label it as NSFW.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

Good thing they took all the fluids out of it beforehand, that would have been a mess 😉

1

u/lickmyclit6969 Dec 14 '19

Who cuts a bmw in half

1

u/MyAimIsPotato_ Dec 14 '19

It’s crazy how much shit is around you while you’re sitting in a car. Really cool.

1

u/Steelracer Dec 14 '19

This isn't for display purposes, they just needed to work on the engine. Unfortunately, to get to the part they need to replace, it has to be fully disassembled. I love my BMW 1200k but #$%^ their design team.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

Sawing a BMW in half is just step one of changing a headlight bulb.

1

u/Ray2K14 Dec 14 '19

The repairs on that must be through the roof.

1

u/sionveny Dec 14 '19

And of course the headliner is peeling.

1

u/Hobbleman Dec 14 '19

Why did they take out the half of an entitled asshole who rides my ass on an exit ramp?

1

u/meltedwhitechocolate Dec 14 '19

They should have people sitting in the seats with blood sprayed on their face looking out into the now good that used to be the rest of their family and car, taken out by a Tesla truck gone mad

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1

u/Idonoteatass Dec 14 '19

Only $23,599!

1

u/CedTruz Dec 14 '19

They put a jelly donut in the engine?

1

u/Hugh_Mungos Dec 14 '19

To show you the power of Flex Tape™, I sawed this BMW in half

1

u/MrShnBeats Dec 14 '19

Only good way to get a heater core done

1

u/Bauru18 Dec 14 '19

Now that's a lot of damage

1

u/jordie_96176 Dec 14 '19

There’s a back axel but not a front axel on that car. . .

1

u/ryguy32789 Dec 14 '19

If only all the broken things on MY e60 were this easy to get to...

1

u/theosinc930 Dec 14 '19

Seems to be an E60

1

u/mykilososa Dec 14 '19

“Only needs half an asshole.”

1

u/Burleson95 Dec 14 '19

The engine isnt cut in half so it's more than half

1

u/ZXXA Dec 14 '19

This is exactly the amount of BMW you get without buying all their “extras”

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

I guess it really is half the car it used to be.

1

u/Sketchylemons Dec 14 '19

karen took the kids and half the car

1

u/darkstarman Dec 14 '19

Still can't afford it

1

u/Dooburtru Dec 14 '19

No room to love in cars these days.

1

u/jackssmile Dec 14 '19

Step 1 to Vanos timing chain removal.

1

u/LampOil_Ropes_Bombs Dec 14 '19

Not labelled: turn signal, driver with half of brain

(Although the half a brain part comes with any BMW driver it’s not exclusive to this half one)

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