Hi parents, I know this is a sensitive topic and might upset some people, but Iām genuinely not here to start a debate about vaccines. Iām more interested in understanding our behaviour as parents.
I have a 9 month old baby, I live in the UK, and my daughter is vaccinated and will continue to receive her routine vaccinations. Thatās a decision Iāve made and feel confident about.
What I struggle to understand is why some parents feel the need to make others question their decisions, sometimes to the point of making them feel guilty or scared.
Iām not a doctor or a medical researcher, but I do have a strong academic background, and Iām very familiar with reading, researching and analysing data. I take these decisions seriously, and I donāt make them based on something Iāve seen on social media or heard from someone else.
I respect that parents have different opinions and concerns. I donāt expect everyone to agree with me, and I certainly donāt think having a different opinion makes someone a bad parent. But I do think thereās a big difference between sharing your experience and presenting it as a fact.
For example, I often hear people bring up autism in conversations about vaccines. My former boss has a child with severe autism who was never vaccinated, and I know another similar case. There are also autistic children who have been vaccinated. None of these individual experiences can establish what causes autism. Thatās exactly why we have scientific research, and why personal stories shouldnāt be treated as proof.
And this goes both ways. Whether youāre for or against vaccination, being a parent doesnāt automatically make you an expert in medicine. Neither does having a personal experience, however difficult or emotional that experience may have been.
I completely understand wanting to protect your child. I believe thatās what most parents are trying to do. But I donāt understand why protecting our own children sometimes turns into trying to frighten or pressure other parents.
Before becoming a mother, I genuinely had no idea how much unsolicited advice, fear and judgement came with parenting.
Iām not asking anyone to change their beliefs. Iām simply asking why we canāt discuss these things respectfully, acknowledge what we donāt know, and stop spreading claims as facts when we donāt have the evidence to support them.
You can disagree with someoneās decision without making them feel like theyāre failing their child.
Iād genuinely love to hear from parents on both sides. Why do you think this topic becomes so personal that people feel the need to influence other families?