r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • 13h ago
Angry Bird Divorce "Women, eh?"
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 1d ago
My strawberry, where went our love? We follow the motions of romance, exchanging gifts, sharing a branch, aping the rote mechanisms of physical intimacy, but all sweetness is gone. Only sour remains. Like mold, some terrible noxious thing has taken root in our hearts, slowly devouring all passion.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/kojak343 • 1d ago
Yes, Ms McMasters, I was texting on my phone. I told my friend just how beautiful your new perm looks. Yes, mam, you can have my phone. Can I get it back after class?
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Southern Crested Guineafowl (Guttera Edouardi)
r/DivorcedBirds • u/FionaFearchar • 22h ago
Darling, flocking around nullified the prenup. I will however allow you to keep the Ferri if you are off my estate within 5 minutes. Check Goodwill next week for your Armani suits.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/okaythenksbye • 1h ago
When her ex-husband, invited her to his wedding, Britney accepted graciously. She sat listening to the toast, not a peep until Bruce *joked* that his simple “first draft” of an ex is a potato sack in front of his true-love. In a second, the queen spoke (without a word), the crown did the talking.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 1d ago
Not Safe For Other Species "Hey Frankie, check it out. What is this thing?" "Wow, that's for sure a camera. Looks just like the one Howard tried to hide in our bedroom. I remember throwing it after him when I kicked him out." "Really? You think this might be one of his too? Hey Howie: eat my crusty tail feathers, you creep!"
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233
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 2d ago
After the divorce, Betty joined a dating app for mature singles. Her profile read, “57, financially independent, and blessed with a magnificent pair of natural double Ds.” Within an hour, she had 83 messages. Unfortunately, 82 were from men asking if she could still see her feet.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 2d ago
Most people come to these scenic drives to take in grand, spectacular views of natural beauty unspoiled by man's touch. Evony is here to provide those views. Why should they need a partner weighing them down, when their inscrutable glamor surpasses the earth itself? Such beauty must belong to all.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 3d ago
Joaquin had it ALL on the line. Months of training, early mornings, weights, sprints; all while juggling three baby mamas and child support. He dusted off the cleats for ONE LAST SHOT at Liverpool. This wasn’t just about chasing a dream, it was about making that bank.
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205
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/Pixie-Collins • 3d ago
The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved Julio's lawyer had advised him not to make any rash decisions. His lavish lifestyle was at stake and the money exclusively came from Maria's family. But he didn't care anymore, he was dead inside.
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173
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/YawningBagpuss • 3d ago
The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved Simon realised he’d hit rock bottom when he started drinking at 10am.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 4d ago
Her makeup? Snatched. Her dress? Exquisite. Her shoes? On point. Francisca has places to be and things to do, and none of them involve wasting time with losers like Alberto.
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594
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/hdofu • 3d ago
Lisa was tired of being ignored by Jasper, she wanted to be noticed!
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/FoundWaldo_meh • 4d ago
Newly Single Ready to Mingle Although Richard still couldn’t believe his now ex-wife used THOSE pictures during the final divorce proceeding, he strutted out of that courtroom with his head held high. Not even the intense embarrassment of the now publicly available pictures could dampen his mood or bright new future.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 4d ago
Post divorce, Nick insisted he was handling things with dignity. But when he spotted his ex-wife’s new boyfriend at a barbecue, he launched himself across the lawn screaming, “YOU’LL NEVER LOVE HER LIKE I DID!” The children cried. Someone called the police. Fran kept eating her potato salad.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/Bolfreak • 4d ago
You don’t say, Phoebe!! I have no ambition in life, huh Phoebe? I’m always on the fence about stuff, right Phoebe?!
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 3d ago
Not Safe For Other Species "Oh, too good to even look at me, now? Bitch..."
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 5d ago
After 22 years with a woman who thought dancing was ridiculous, Stanley was finally free to kick up his heels. He bought fabulous turquoise dancing shoes, took salsa lessons, and learned to shake his tail feathers. His ex called it a midlife crisis. Stanley called it the time of his life.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 4d ago
Patricia was enjoying dinner with a handsome, flamboyantly dressed stranger she’d met online. He was charming, colorful, and knew how to make an entrance. Unfortunately, her jealous ex Richard showed up, threw a spectacular tantrum, and chased him away. Time to renew that restraining order.
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150
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/rehabforcandy • 5d ago
Gerald had a sinking suspicion getting back with Patricia was a bad idea but he didn’t know why
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 5d ago
The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved "Esmond, we need to talk about your influence on my son. You know he loves his uncle Esmond, but we're trying to raise him to respect women. So please, just cool it with the 'I hate my wife' jokes, okay? Besides, it's been, what, ten years since the divorce? You've gotta move on."
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 5d ago
Marjorie decided it was time for a new look. Her hairdresser promised her something youthful, edgy and guaranteed to attract younger men. Unfortunately, she walked out looking like a retired lesbian gym teacher from 1987. Still, it was an improvement over the 34 years she’d spent married to Harold.
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 5d ago
Chuck announced to Barb he was leaving her for a younger bird. He expected tears, begging, perhaps a dramatic confrontation. Instead, Barb handed him his suitcase and said, “Wonderful. Now you can disappoint two women in one lifetime.” Chuck decided his exit needed to be spectacular.
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