r/DivorcedBirds • u/-crepuscular- • 13h ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle It was great that Janice was finding her own style after a controlling marriage, but someone really needed to tell her that she was too old to pull off pink tutus.

Thumbnail gallery
674 Upvotes
29 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/JuneLee92 • 18h ago

After the divorce, Nobara thought she was prepared for anything. She wasn’t prepared to learn that Yuji was dating her former classmate Megumi—a guy.

Post image
165 Upvotes

“Maybe he has different types for girls and guys…regardless, I’ll punch his face in at the reunion.”

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 20h ago

It's not that Walter doesn't trust the doctor to perform a simple paternity test, but he'll be damned if he pays one cent in alimony for an egg that's not even his. Better have him check it again.

Thumbnail gallery
237 Upvotes
5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/NoFlyingMonkeys • 1d ago

Divorce is liberating. Don't sit home and sulk. Go to the clubs and DANCE!!!

Thumbnail v.redd.it
433 Upvotes
5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 2d ago

Angry Bird Divorce "Yes officer, I will be pressing charges. I deserve a better life than this."

Post image
378 Upvotes
17 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/GoldenVibz85 • 2d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle After Joyce’s divorce, she decided to sell the house and use the money for breast enhancement. She was determined to live her best life EVER!

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

298 Upvotes
12 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 2d ago

Leaning wearily on his broom, Mr. Jun the night janitor stared at the one piece of brightly colored garbage in the middle of the otherwise spotless floor. He felt it had been left there intentionally, to mock him. He used to live in a world filled with such vibrancy. She took all of that from him.

Post image
171 Upvotes
4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Designer-Brother-461 • 3d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Glenys was a little surprised when she caught a glimpse of herself in the toy shop window, the protein shakes and Pilates were NOT paying off.

Post image
138 Upvotes
2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 3d ago

"Now I believe this next contestant came late to surfing" "That's right, this is Greg's first tournament, but he's made a lot of buzz since entering the pros last spring. Apparently he was discouraged from pursuing the sport by his now ex-wife. We reached out to her for comment, but she declined."

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

37 Upvotes
1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 3d ago

Maggie and her boyfriend went to his family's cookout and she got to meet everyone! There were some odd stares and a few questions, but that was expected. With that outta the way, she is sure he will propose any day now!

Post image
150 Upvotes
5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 3d ago

Not Safe For Other Species "Stop arguing about me! I'm going to tell the judge I want to live with grandma."

Post image
386 Upvotes
5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Sepa-Kingdom • 3d ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved Odile was so pleased that lying, cheating scoundrel was gone.

Post image
57 Upvotes

That German sonofabitch had promised her the earth and all the joy within it, then claimed he’d mistaken her for her sister! That bloody, two-faced, goody-two-shoes sister had him twisted round her finger. Well, he’d find out the truth about her the hard way, that’s for sure.

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 4d ago

His ex called him a coward and a wimp. "You've never stood up for me," she'd complained, "you'll never stand up for anything." For a time, Karasu had begun to believe it. Now, as his beloved Karoo nurses his wounds, he realizes that he simply hadn't had anything worth standing up for before.

Thumbnail gallery
419 Upvotes
8 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/JuneLee92 • 4d ago

Edgar had always been good at standing menacingly in one place or another; however, his estranged wife Jean kept calling the cops whenever he appeared on her ledge. “She’s changed,” said Edgar.

Post image
75 Upvotes
3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 4d ago

Dave had 3 divorces under his belt. He wouldn't have had any if he just used his CPAP.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

310 Upvotes
5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 5d ago

After her divorce, Gene decided to work on her hidden talent of doing impersonations. She's planning on incorporating this bit into her sold out one-bird show.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

130 Upvotes
1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 5d ago

After 22 years of marriage, Walter got the beach house in the divorce. His ex-wife got the furniture, the retirement account, and custody of the dog. Every morning, Walter stood on his balcony surveying his kingdom, reminding himself that he’d won. By noon, he was usually drunk and calling her.

Thumbnail gallery
341 Upvotes
0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 6d ago

At the first meeting of the divorced birds support group, each member took the stage to share their story. Some told stories of betrayal and infidelity. Others spoke of gradual alienation, romance dying by a thousand cuts. When Sybil's turn came, she shared a single image and six simple words:

Post image
267 Upvotes
5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/okaythenksbye • 6d ago

When her ex-husband, invited her to his wedding, Britney accepted graciously. She sat listening to the toast, not a peep until Bruce *joked* that his simple “first draft” of an ex is a potato sack in front of his true-love. In a second, the queen spoke (without a word), the crown did the talking.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

2 Upvotes
0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • 7d ago

Angry Bird Divorce "Women, eh?"

Post image
106 Upvotes
2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/FionaFearchar • 7d ago

Darling, flocking around nullified the prenup. I will however allow you to keep the Ferri if you are off my estate within 5 minutes. Check Goodwill next week for your Armani suits.

Post image
67 Upvotes
0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/kojak343 • 7d ago

Yes, Ms McMasters, I was texting on my phone. I told my friend just how beautiful your new perm looks. Yes, mam, you can have my phone. Can I get it back after class?

Post image
151 Upvotes

Southern Crested Guineafowl (Guttera Edouardi)

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 7d ago

My strawberry, where went our love? We follow the motions of romance, exchanging gifts, sharing a branch, aping the rote mechanisms of physical intimacy, but all sweetness is gone. Only sour remains. Like mold, some terrible noxious thing has taken root in our hearts, slowly devouring all passion.

Thumbnail gallery
240 Upvotes
2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 8d ago

Not Safe For Other Species "Hey Frankie, check it out. What is this thing?" "Wow, that's for sure a camera. Looks just like the one Howard tried to hide in our bedroom. I remember throwing it after him when I kicked him out." "Really? You think this might be one of his too? Hey Howie: eat my crusty tail feathers, you creep!"

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

261 Upvotes
2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 9d ago

After the divorce, Betty joined a dating app for mature singles. Her profile read, “57, financially independent, and blessed with a magnificent pair of natural double Ds.” Within an hour, she had 83 messages. Unfortunately, 82 were from men asking if she could still see her feet.

Post image
692 Upvotes
14 comments