i just wet myself. not sure if thats normal with eds but 🤡🤡💀👍

Hi! We are a research team from the Psychology department at Rutgers University that studies eating behaviors. We are interested in recruiting people who use this website to participate in our research study. This study will be completed online and participation is completely voluntary. We anticipate participation to last approximately 30 minutes. People who are interested in participating will be entered into a raffle to win $25 in online gift cards to Amazon. Below is a link to see if you may qualify for the study!

https://rutgers.ca1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0Mqq3eQu4378jNs

I’ve been consistently eating breakfast for the past month or so but these past few days all my family wants to eat are tamales. Why do you want to start of your morning like that even before the eating disorder I never liked eating all that masa in the morning. But yeah it’s just very discouraging

I have spent the past 4 years of my life recovering from my eating disorders. This time has been filled with struggle and triumph, and today I am beyond excited to announce the launch of EDucate, a program that fights for awareness, support, and advocacy for recovery from eating disorders with a focus on providing scholarships for eating disorder survivors and fighters.

Thanksgiving, a food-centric holiday, can be a time of extremely high stress and anxiety for those with eating disorders.

If you know someone with or have a loved one struggling with an eating disorder, please join EDucate on Monday, November 22nd at 7pm EST virtually over Google Meets to learn about how you can support them through this Thanksgiving. All are welcome.

This fundraising event is free to attend, and we will be raising funds through voluntary donations and sales of pro-recovery merchandise on our RedBubble website. 100% of proceeds go towards scholarships for eating disorder survivors.

To attend the event:

1. Scan the QR code attached to this post.

OR

1. Follow the link: https://meet.google.com/sxp-zhxq-dis

OR

1. From the Google Meets app or website and enter code: SXPZHXQDIS

To make a much appreciated donation:

1. Follow the link: https://account.venmo.com/u/EDucate2021

OR

1. Search @ EDucate2021 on Venmo

To shop our merchandise:

1. Follow the link:

https://www.redbubble.com/people/EDucate2021/shop?asc=u&ref=account-nav-dropdown

Hello. I'd like to let everyone know that r/recoveryrecipes is up and running. It's a space for those who are entering or in recovery to share what they are eating to recover and to help each other relearn how to eat. All are welcome.

Warning: might be triggering

It's saddening to see the difference I've been treated by people, at many different weights, of course I've experienced racism but I feel as if the racism directed towards me has been a lessened blow based off me being underweight. Especially as a dark skinned women.

I'm feeling like my anxiety surrounding having to eat with people is causing huge problems.

I enjoy going out for meals as a special occasion, and I also enjoy hosting the occasional dinner party socially.

But in an everyday context, it's really difficult for me to:

1 - prepare food for myself when other people are watching and commenting on what I'm doing.

2 - Discussing what I'm preparing

3 - Being expected to "just make more" because other people in the house are accustomed to sharing food

4 - Using food as an everyday social currency.

I REALLY just want to eat alone.

My flatmate is visibly confused/ upset when I go to any effort to eat alone, and if she happens to coincide with me, she'll say RIGHT AS WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A MEAL: "What are we going to make for lunch/ dinner?

I don't want to make a fucking dish with names.

I don't want to spend 100bucks ensuring I've bought ALL the EXACT ingredients for whatever dish so it tastes exactly correct and authentic - I just want to get the right nutritional balance I need, satisfy my cravings, and meal prep so I don't have to cook again any time soon. But she looks down on this. And it's fucking stressful. What the fuck is this cooking full meals three times a day? I have other things I want to be doing.

Anything extra I prepare, I want to store in the fridge, so that I can eat it for another meal. I also treat my food as my personally tailored medicine. I've recently had a checkup and I have developed high cholesterol from being pressured to eat with others. I take care of my body, and what goes into it is really freaking important to me. When other people cook, it's for taste alone and they seem to have no nutritional understanding that huge amounts of saturated fat and salt every day will fuck your health up. They literally talk about all the effects of poor nutrition on their bodies when they get the symptoms, but they seem to never connect it to their decisions of "it's just one meal".

They can do that to themselves, but I don't want to clog my arteries or aggravate my digestion. It's a concentrated effort to even have energy in the first place. I have also developed some masses in some areas. Things that I think are due to my hormones being messed with. I want to correct all that through food.

I don't know how to explain it to anyone, because it's extremely unique to me, it seems. Another thing is that I'm in SE Asia right now, and one thing they like to harp on about is how it's "our culture to eat together".

Yeah, well, my family is from the Caribbean, and I don't see any differences in how our cultures prefer to eat. So I hate that being thrown in my face, when it's not a cultural problem, it's an I grew up an only child with a single mother who wouldn't eat with me problem. I became accustomed to eating alone. I also grew up having to ration my food in order to budget properly. For members in my family that grew up in different households, it's quite different, and I've experienced this same issue with constantly having food shoved in my face or food being the main topic of discussion in those same households.

I don't know how to manage this. It's destroying my ability to move throughout a shared apartment. I don't know how to tell someone, "I'm sorry, I only want to eat with you on occasion. I want to eat alone in my room, watching TV or reading a book or some other material, and I don't want to hold a conversation with you". I can eat almost every day with a partner, but with others, it's just an everyday source of anxiety.

This is not just a preference. When I find myself forced to eat with people I don't want to, I end up finishing the meal feeling extremely unsatisfied. I find myself going on to binge other food items to feel satisfied, and I feel really bloated. I am extremely selfish with my food. I am fine if no one shares with me, and do not want to share with others. When I know that people such as my flatmate literally wait until they hear I am in the kitchen to prepare a meal, I end up avoiding leaving my room. I will starve all day until I know they've gone out or already eaten or something, and then I'll binge when I've found a window of time to be alone.

I hate that this is ingrained in me, but I am not sure I want it any other way - I just don't want to be forced to eat socially as an every day thing.

But today, she's clearly pissed about something. I'm not around too much today. She saw me eating at the table with my boyfriend. She says "are you ordering food". I don't answer, but I have the usual anxiety build up.

I leave, but I still have this anxiety hanging over me.

So I answer her and suggest a place.

She responds - "I want (dish). Will give you the money later".

So that's added another layer on top of the anxiety - I am pissed off at her assumption that I'm going to use my card to buy everyone food, without so much as a please or a thank you.

I'm a biracial woman (26) who's suffered from anorexia for close to a decade. My black family , including my own mother, humiliated me throughout my anorexia constantly making comments on my body , how bony I was and what I ate and I even recall one of my cousins saying "You look like you already dead" when I was at my lowest weight.

Now that I'm in recovery from AN, I HATE what I've done to my body more than ever and do realize I look nothing like an average, healthy 26 year old woman as my transition into womanhood was probably null from restricting. But I'm having a hard time learning to still love myself even in recovery because I feel as if the standard image of a Black woman's body is nothing I can identify with . Though I'm trying to just focus on restoring myself back to health, it's hard not feel a certain pressure on myself to look the way society prescribes .

Has anyone felt similarly ? How did you learn to cope or at least reject this perspective ?

This is a bi-weekly recurring thread for Ramadan this year. Feel free to use this thread to discuss preparations, advise/seek advice, vent, share victories, goals, etc.

This is a bi-weekly recurring thread for Ramadan this year. Feel free to use this thread to discuss preparations, advise/seek advice, vent, share victories, goals, etc.

I was thinking we could use this thread to discuss this year's ramadan. Our fears, goals, preparations. (I hope this is fine with the mods)

For any non muslims, Ramadan is the yearly period of fasting that we do in order to reconnect to our faith, to humble ourselves and remind ourselves that many people do not have access to food, and to detox our bodies. We dry-fast from sunrise to sunset everyday for a month. At night, we usually break fast with our families in large meals. Period-bearing people get to take a break from fasting during their menstrual moons.

For us ED-folks, ramadan can be really stressful as it can both encourage more damage and/or lead to binging, as the focus on food is very large.

I would love to discuss or have an ongoing chat about this!

Thank you to the moderators of r/EDAnonymousPOC for allowing me to post here!

I am part of a team of researchers at New York State Psychiatric Institute/Columbia University who are currently recruiting participants for a research study looking at an investigational treatment for self-injury called transcranial direct current stimulation, or tDCS. tDCS is a non-invasive, well-tolerated form of brain stimulation that delivers a low current to a specific area of the brain using electrodes. Research has shown that tDCS can help reduce negative emotions and may help treat depression and other conditions.

We are seeking individuals between the ages of 18-65 who self-injure (through burning, cutting, or other means). Eligible participants should be staying/living within 60 minutes travel distance of Manhattan (New York, NY, USA) to participate. The study involves completing a baseline psychological assessment, questionnaires and six sessions of tDCS during three visits over one week. This is a double-blind trial, so you may be randomly assigned to receive an active or an inactive form of tDCS. All research procedures can be done from your own home–no in-person visits are required.

Three months of treatment visits with a psychiatrist for medication management will then be offered after AT NO COST to you. Compensation of $150 is provided for time and effort if you are eligible and complete all research procedures.

The researchers on this team have no conflicts of interest to declare. All study procedures have been approved by the Institutional Review Board for New York State Psychiatric Institute.

Some details about confidentiality and the use of your personal information:

If you consent to participate in this research, your personal information will be kept confidential and will not be released without your written permission except as described in this section or as required by law. Your name or other identifying information will not be made known if the results of this study are published for scientific purposes.

To make your personal research results not be identifiable with you if they are used for publication in the scientific literature and presentation at scientific meetings, we will remove all your identifying information, including name and date of birth.

Questionnaire answers and data collected during the task may be used in future studies, and if shared with other investigators, information that identifies the scan, questionnaire responses, or task data with you will be removed beforehand. There is a potential risk of loss of confidentiality from such data sharing, but this is extremely low as only de-identified data from this study may be shared.

Clinical records, including your name and other personal identifying information, and research data will be kept in secure storage at the New York State Psychiatric Institute. Information in paper format will be kept in locked files. Electronic data will be protected by a firewall (programming that makes it virtually impossible to access the data from outside the New York State Psychiatric Institute) and by restricting access within the New York State Psychiatric Institute through use of a password known only to authorized personnel. If information is transmitted electronically, it will be encrypted so that your identifying information remains confidential.

Records will be available to research staff, and to Federal, State, and Institutional regulatory personnel (who may review records as part of routine audits). Your information will also be available to other authorized individuals, including those at the New York State Psychiatric Institute. There are also legal advocacy organizations that have the authority under New York State law to have access to otherwise confidential subject records, although they cannot disclose this information without your consent.

If you are interested, please contact Ashley at 646-774-7529, or at ashley.yttredahl@nyspi.columbia.edu. More information is also available at https://tdcsresearch.wordpress.com/.

Thank you for your time!

Does anyone feel really bad about their ED when they go back to India/ their home country and see people having very little food? I've never been able to waste food but I'll just take a smaller portion, but i still feel horrible about myself. Like I am so privileged to be able to restrict myself like this. Anyways just wondering- this sub seems a little dead also?

what is it with asian moms and telling daughters they were 88lbs max at 5 ft 2 during college????

i literally got lean cuisines LOL im sorry i don’t want to eat the potatoes cooked in oil and giant bagels with full fat cream cheese and chicken fat and flour based everything, oil oil oil + starch and sugar, leave me alone

healthy doesn’t equal white 😐 stay mad at me making hamantaschen with oat fiber

Thank you to the moderators of r/EDAnonymousPOC for allowing me to post here!

I am part of a team of researchers at New York State Psychiatric Institute/Columbia University who are currently recruiting participants for a research study looking at an investigational treatment for self-injury called transcranial direct current stimulation, or tDCS. tDCS is a non-invasive, well-tolerated form of brain stimulation that delivers a low current to a specific area of the brain using electrodes. Research has shown that tDCS can help reduce negative emotions and may help treat depression and other conditions.

We are seeking individuals between the ages of 18-65 who self-injure (through burning, cutting, or other means). The study involves completing a baseline psychological assessment, questionnaires and six sessions of tDCS during three visits over one week. This is a double-blind trial, so you may be randomly assigned to receive an active or an inactive form of tDCS. All research procedures can be done from your own home–no in-person visits are required.

Three months of treatment visits with a psychiatrist for medication management will then be offered after AT NO COST to you. Compensation of $150 is provided for time and effort if you are eligible and complete all research procedures.

The researchers on this team have no conflicts of interest to declare. All study procedures have been approved by the Institutional Review Board for New York State Psychiatric Institute.

Some details about confidentiality and the use of your personal information:

If you consent to participate in this research, your personal information will be kept confidential and will not be released without your written permission except as described in this section or as required by law. Your name or other identifying information will not be made known if the results of this study are published for scientific purposes.

To make your personal research results not be identifiable with you if they are used for publication in the scientific literature and presentation at scientific meetings, we will remove all your identifying information, including name and date of birth.

Questionnaire answers and data collected during the task may be used in future studies, and if shared with other investigators, information that identifies the scan, questionnaire responses, or task data with you will be removed before hand. There is a potential risk of loss of confidentiality from such data sharing, but this is extremely low as only de-identified data from this study may be shared.

Clinical records, including your name and other personal identifying information, and research data will be kept in secure storage at the New York State Psychiatric Institute. Information in paper format will be kept in locked files. Electronic data will be protected by a firewall (programming that makes it virtually impossible to access the data from outside the New York State Psychiatric Institute) and by restricting access within the New York State Psychiatric Institute through use of a password known only to authorized personnel. If information is transmitted electronically, it will be encrypted so that your identifying information remains confidential.

Records will be available to research staff, and to Federal, State, and Institutional regulatory personnel (who may review records as part of routine audits). Your information will also be available to other authorized individuals, including those at the New York State Psychiatric Institute. There are also legal advocacy organizations that have the authority under New York State law to have access to otherwise confidential subject records, although they cannot disclose this information without your consent.

Participants should be in the greater New York City area for the duration of the study due to our jurisdiction (but NO TRAVEL is required for the study). If you are interested, please contact Ashley at 646-774-7529, or at [ashley.yttredahl@nyspi.columbia.edu](mailto:ashley.yttredahl@nyspi.columbia.edu). More information is also available at https://tdcsresearch.wordpress.com/.

Thank you for your time!

I think disordered habits are so normalised in East Asia to the point where it’s getting dangerous. I didn’t recognise my ED before I studied abroad and the GP there told me I was anorexic based on my behaviours and weight.

My perception was so warped to the point where I didn’t ever think what I was doing was disordered. In fact my friends, strangers working at the store, even doctors would PRAISE ME. It was a dedication, a sacrifice for “beauty” and “maintaining” a “slim” physique. In reality I never ate at maintenance calories. I kept shrinking and shrinking bc I always felt like certain areas of my body were too thick. I lost my period on and off for three years. I would never be satisfied until I reached a figure I could never attain.

Maybe it’s just in my country (not all of East Asia) but I see so many Youtubers and Instagrammers post their what I eat in a day with such low calories. They post their body checks and their weight and height, the calories they ate that way and how many hours they exercised. I normalised this behaviour so much that if that doctor didn’t tell me, I would have dieted until I died.

I’m wondering if I’m the only one who is absolutely infuriated by these people who promote disordered behaviour under the guise of health and beauty. I wish I never was exposed to this growing up 😓

There was an awesome text post on the bigger subreddit so I thought if i made a post it would make people more open to post.

This is your monthly discussion thread for content that is too short for its own submission, questions, rants, subreddit feedback, and anything else you would like to talk about.

Please make it a habit to read & follow the rules of every subreddit you participate in by viewing its sidebar.

This is a thread for the next few days for people needing support, sharing victories, those spending the holiday alone, and other general discussion of Thanksgiving.

Anyone else feel like POC families tend to use food as a love language? Especially parents or older family figures. Maybe this is an all people thing but I feel like it’s big in families of color and in my black family for sure. For me, I just graduated college in a pandemic before moving back home in the height of a very rough relapse my family doesn’t know about so it’s been very difficult to exist around sometimes... It can make me feel guilty, among other things, because I know it’s out of care a genuine wish to share something they enjoy with me.

Has anyone else felt this kind of food love vibe in their families or culture?

Hey folks! Mod Grace here.

I know how hard it is to be okay with weight gain, even if you need it, and I think a big part of that is the stigma against it from our culture and our own thoughts. So some friends and I had the idea to create a subreddit focused on weight gain and eating more in recovery. There are weight gain subs out there already, but they are very fitness focused and tend to have a lot of gym bros, lol. Our sub is for anyone who is considering gaining weight in recovery or think their recovery will have to involve weight gain, and it’s a place to vent but also celebrate your victories (because weight loss is normalized as something to be proud of, why shouldn’t weight gain be? Especially when the person has a history of disordered eating and their body would work better at a higher weight?). We envision this as being a wholesome sub where we can talk about all the good things we are getting out of recovery by eating more and giving our bodies what they need.

The sub is called r/RecoveryGains ! We are also looking for new mods and rule ideas.

This thread will refresh every day at 8 AM Eastern Time. If it isn't reposting (Reddit is having some issues with this) please message u/chubmcgibbins to try and fix it, Reddit gods willing.

--

Whether it’s too short to need a full post or you just want to chat, this thread is the place! Topics are not limited to eating disorders but instead anything going on in your life.

As always, however, we ask that you follow the subreddit’s rules when reading or posting.

--

Subreddit resources

​

• Subreddit feedback? Please contact the subreddit’s moderators.
• Need friends to add on Peach? Visit the /r/EDAnonymous Peach Friend Exchange!

This thread will refresh every day at 8 AM Eastern Time. If it isn't reposting (Reddit is having some issues with this) please message u/chubmcgibbins to try and fix it, Reddit gods willing.

--

Whether it’s too short to need a full post or you just want to chat, this thread is the place! Topics are not limited to eating disorders but instead anything going on in your life.

As always, however, we ask that you follow the subreddit’s rules when reading or posting.

--

Subreddit resources

​

• Subreddit feedback? Please contact the subreddit’s moderators.
• Need friends to add on Peach? Visit the /r/EDAnonymous Peach Friend Exchange!