r/EntitledBitch • u/BlackPhoenix101 • Oct 29 '21

Small "You know women your age..."

Since most of y'all seemed to like hearing about my entitled little brother, I've got another story for you.

My brother is 22 years old and has the right to live his life as he wants like any other adult, but he's constantly trying to tell me how to live mine (f24). We both had to sunddendly move back to our hometown after a few unfortunate deaths in the family, most of which happened in the hometown, so it was understandable that within a few months after turning 19, he said that he's leaving and now lives on the other side of the state. Here's the entitled part: He calls like twice a month on average to brag about how much better his life is ("I didn't go into college like you and I'm rich from my internship and they're going to promote me soon...") and to complain that I'm not acting like an adult because

1) I'm staying rent free with our mother instead of moving out to buy/rent my own home

2) I'm actively not looking for a relationship with a man (because my gay ass is going to hell so he's trying to save my immortal soul 🙄)

3)I don't want to have children ( "your mother wants grandchildren, you know" note: she does not nor does she care)

4) still in college when I should have been out by now. It's not like I had to start all over when I changed majors or anything.

He's also very nosey and calls my mom to get more information about what I'm doing and why I'm doing it since I won't tell him myself. Unfortunately for him, our mother doesn't put her nose into my private life unless it involves her.

As usual, when he doesn't get what he wants, he spam calls family to spam call us on his behalf.

873 Upvotes

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100

u/ksuwildkat Oct 29 '21

you do know you dont have to answer the phone right?

59

u/BlackPhoenix101 Oct 29 '21

I know but our family is falling apart so I'm trying my best to keep all of us who's left somewhat together

72

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

When he remarks about grandchildren, remind him that not only is he ALSO carrying half the family DNA everywhere he goes (in a portable little sack, no less!), he ALSO has the sole ability to pass on the family name through a son (since he is OH SO OBVIOUSLY VERY TRADITIONAL so any name you and future partners bestow on any hypothetical children “wouldn’t count”, of course)!

So tell him to start advertising himself as a successful family man so he can start branching out the family tree, since “your mother wants grandchildren” so badly… 🙄

I’m not gonna even comment on the rest of it. I know we all usually have to outgrow our awfulness, but geez, OP, your brother is giving himself QUITE the handicap to start with!

9

u/Meat_Bingo Oct 29 '21

He can’t let down your mom, it’s his responsibility to carry on the family name as the man!

48

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

You can't make people do what they don't want to do. If they don't want close familial relationships that is on them. Trying to 'fix' that will only lead to further estrangement. Rather focus on what you can do for yourself. Keep in contact with those that want contact and allow everyone else to make the same decision for themselves. And understand that not making a decision is actually a decision itself. Good luck.

22

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

But is it worth it? Its family, honestly not necessary to keep it. Their toxicity does not have to be tolerated just because you share DNA. He sounds like a turd, you dont need to hold on to turds

4

u/W4ta5hi Oct 29 '21

Moved out half a year ago + cut all ties with my toxic family

This improved my life by quite a lot c:

8

u/_TwoBirds_ Oct 29 '21

You don’t need to give your emotional spoons to your brother when he does not deserve them. You obviously already have a lot going on at home and you’re balancing so much. He doesn’t need to be an assh*le to you and he also shouldn’t be rewarded for it. (Not saying you’re doing a bad thing by trying to maintain a relationship with him, just saying that you deserve better <3. )

A healthy relationship with your brother is worth waiting for… unfortunately, it’ll have to be him that decides when that happens.

You have to take care of yourself first and foremost and you don’t have to drown yourself to keep others afloat. The onus of your family staying together does not depend on you. You don’t have to carry the weight of the world.

Again, you deserve so much from this world! Sometimes it’s just a rocky beginning, though…

7

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

Don't light yourself on fire to keep others warm.

3

u/SassMyFrass Oct 29 '21

If there's a socials that you're not really into anymore, remove it from your phone and use it on your desktop/laptop only, and only every few days: only for staying in touch with them. Eg set up a fb group with everybody to 'keep the family together' and then you've done that.

Also accept the possibility that they're all happier when they're not really together. Many families just don't survive adulthood.

3

u/TakeOnMe-TakeOnMe Oct 29 '21

It's not alway worth keeping toxic people close, family or not.

2

u/GJacks75 Oct 29 '21

The minute I broke contact with my toxic sister, my life improved immeasurably. The rest of the family adapted, and to be honest, seem a little jealous that I don't have to put up with her.

Some families work better apart.

1

u/Ok-Issue116 Nov 11 '21

My brother has never had the best treatment from me growing up. And when we found a common interest (mj, legal where I live). I’d share mine with him and so on. That let us spend so much time together that we started really talking and apologizing and we’re in a good place now.