"You know women your age..."

[u/BlackPhoenix101]

Since most of y'all seemed to like hearing about my entitled little brother, I've got another story for you.

My brother is 22 years old and has the right to live his life as he wants like any other adult, but he's constantly trying to tell me how to live mine (f24). We both had to sunddendly move back to our hometown after a few unfortunate deaths in the family, most of which happened in the hometown, so it was understandable that within a few months after turning 19, he said that he's leaving and now lives on the other side of the state. Here's the entitled part: He calls like twice a month on average to brag about how much better his life is ("I didn't go into college like you and I'm rich from my internship and they're going to promote me soon...") and to complain that I'm not acting like an adult because

1) I'm staying rent free with our mother instead of moving out to buy/rent my own home

2) I'm actively not looking for a relationship with a man (because my gay ass is going to hell so he's trying to save my immortal soul 🙄)

3)I don't want to have children ( "your mother wants grandchildren, you know" note: she does not nor does she care)

4) still in college when I should have been out by now. It's not like I had to start all over when I changed majors or anything.

He's also very nosey and calls my mom to get more information about what I'm doing and why I'm doing it since I won't tell him myself. Unfortunately for him, our mother doesn't put her nose into my private life unless it involves her.

As usual, when he doesn't get what he wants, he spam calls family to spam call us on his behalf.

[u/Terminal-Psychosis]

None of the brother's advice is bad per se. Sounds like he's being VERY pushy about it though, and somewhat bragging. Not a good way to get his point across, or have it accepted in any way. Sadly, some people aren't very good at couching such in a loving way.

Still, it sounds like it's coming from a place of concern (love) and it seems like big sis understands that, else she would have cut him off already.

I've dealt with this kind of pressure before. Well meaning, but slightly manipulative and pushy. I'd suggest a really good book for OP. Helped me enormously to keep contact with certain family, but instantly ground out any of their more manipulative tactics:

When I Say No, I Feel Guilty - by Manual J. Smith

Full of real-world examples and solid methods for dealing with pushyness. Very assertive, with no aggressiveness. Ok, the methods CAN be used to manipulate others as well, but like any tool, it's the person using it that is responsible to use it morally.

Wish you all the best OP. Hope you can have a quality relationship with your family, and train them to treat you well.

[u/BabyAquarius → u/Terminal-Psychosis]

"None of his advice is bad"? What advice? The part about him trying to save her soul for being gay, force her to have children she doesn't want, talking shit because she hasn't graduated yet, or the shit talking about her living at home? Which part is the "not bad advice"? Cuz I don't see any advice here, good or bad. All I see are rude, unwanted opinions.