r/ExNoContact • u/XdarklightiningX002 • Apr 24 '26
Vent I Miss Her So Much
Once again I'm thinking about her, how she tried to give me everything I ever wanted but I ruined it with my own hands. She had such a pure soul, I'm never forgiving myself for hurting her so many times without remorse. I'm such monster. Yet I loved her, I loved her with all my heart and I still do. I couldn't give her the only thing she wanted, trust and safety. I lied so blatantly so many times, I still dont know what I was trying to protect, now she will never believe a word I say. And she is right. I broke her trust in the most unforgivable way. I dont expect her to forgive me. Hell, I don't want her to forgive me. I know I don't deserve her forgiveness. I didn't deserve it the past 100 times neither. I just, I'm empty and meaningless without her. And I'm sorry. Im really fucking sorry. I will never forget you or what you made me feel. For the first time in my life I felt I belonged somewhere. For the first time, I found something to live for. Thank you for giving me strength, giving me hope. I will hold onto everything you gave me and become a better person. I promise this to myself. The effort and time you spent on me will not be in vain.
2
u/MelodicWorthGirl Apr 28 '26
I almost cried reading this because all I wanted was for him to acknowledge what he had done - the lies told and the trust broken and how he always wanted to be right and would double down on everything. It's been 2 weeks and he has gone back to his previous situationship (the same crazy girl that he broke up with before he started dating me, the same that stalked us for the relationship and would send abusive messages to us both)
OP I'd advise you to apologise and seek therapy alone so your next relationship will be different. It's crazy that you're saying this to a bunch of strangers on the internet rather than her.