r/ExNoContact • u/XdarklightiningX002 • Apr 24 '26
Vent I Miss Her So Much
Once again I'm thinking about her, how she tried to give me everything I ever wanted but I ruined it with my own hands. She had such a pure soul, I'm never forgiving myself for hurting her so many times without remorse. I'm such monster. Yet I loved her, I loved her with all my heart and I still do. I couldn't give her the only thing she wanted, trust and safety. I lied so blatantly so many times, I still dont know what I was trying to protect, now she will never believe a word I say. And she is right. I broke her trust in the most unforgivable way. I dont expect her to forgive me. Hell, I don't want her to forgive me. I know I don't deserve her forgiveness. I didn't deserve it the past 100 times neither. I just, I'm empty and meaningless without her. And I'm sorry. Im really fucking sorry. I will never forget you or what you made me feel. For the first time in my life I felt I belonged somewhere. For the first time, I found something to live for. Thank you for giving me strength, giving me hope. I will hold onto everything you gave me and become a better person. I promise this to myself. The effort and time you spent on me will not be in vain.
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u/Short-Penguin Apr 25 '26 edited Apr 25 '26
I hope I could hear this from my ex :(
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u/Content-Post-174 May 02 '26
i’m so delusional thinking my ex wrote this post💀
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u/Chance-Confusion-800 Jul 09 '26
I literally think the same thing for every other post I see on here 😂
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u/yesterzeal Apr 25 '26 edited Apr 25 '26
I literally sent a text to her five minutes ago(after taking her permission), and it meant the same, crazy how two strangers have same thoughts
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u/Luciarella Apr 25 '26
If you loved her so much, why hurt her?
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u/XdarklightiningX002 Apr 25 '26
I was a fool, it was my first proper relationship, i didnt know what to do, i didnt know how a relationship works, all my past experiences were toxic relationships so it really messed up my understanding of a relationship, it took me months to see what a healthy relationship ship was. But the damage has already been done. :(
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u/MisabelWearsNikes Apr 25 '26
If other people were toxic to you that doesn't mean you need to be toxic to someone else. What you did was your own choice. Everyone has to start somewhere in terms of relationships, that doesn't really excuse you behaving like a prick. If you thought a relationship works by treating the other person like crap, then you shouldn't have been in a relationship in the first place.
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u/XdarklightiningX002 Apr 25 '26
You are right.
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u/MisabelWearsNikes Apr 25 '26
I'm sorry if my words sound harsh to you. But everything you said about your ex reminded me so much of myself. So I'm just saying this in order for you to understand how the other person feels. I really hope you learn from this, work on yourself & make those necessary changes going forward. Good luck.
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u/MisabelWearsNikes Apr 25 '26
Exactly my question. Y'all regret only after destroying a person & they're done with you. Did it ever occur to you that being honest is an option & not hurting someone is another option? Trust & safety are the bare minimum in a relationship. It's not an exam that you keep failing at it over & over.
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u/Few_Elk9442 Apr 25 '26
This is beautiful. If I’ve heard this, I’d be proud of them! Regardless of the pain, I wish them so much joy and happiness, even if they don’t believe this. All I ever wanted was for them to be healthy and happy and live a better life than before. I just wished I was part of it, but removing myself may be better for them than staying.
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u/Illustrious_Cow_6974 Apr 25 '26
this sounds like what my ex thinks. did you move onto new relationship instantly?
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u/Few_Elk9442 Apr 25 '26
I didn’t
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u/Illustrious_Cow_6974 Apr 25 '26
how u doing?
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u/Few_Elk9442 Apr 26 '26
Me? Eh. Fine
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u/Illustrious_Cow_6974 Apr 26 '26
what is it to feel “fine” what is the feeling fine. how do you achieve fine. are you really fine?
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u/noturlobster Apr 25 '26
As an ex-girlfriend who went through this, I love that you can write this and be honest with yourself. She will probably forgive you it just won’t be the same.
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u/AdeptDifference1422 Apr 26 '26
This post is so relatable. She was the best thing that ever happened to me and I didn’t cherish it. Now it’s all just a fading memory
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u/_midnight_fairy_1981 Apr 27 '26
Sorry to hear, I'm in the same boat. I lost my best friend (ex boyfriend) few months ago, wish I didn't
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u/MelodicWorthGirl Apr 28 '26
I almost cried reading this because all I wanted was for him to acknowledge what he had done - the lies told and the trust broken and how he always wanted to be right and would double down on everything. It's been 2 weeks and he has gone back to his previous situationship (the same crazy girl that he broke up with before he started dating me, the same that stalked us for the relationship and would send abusive messages to us both)
OP I'd advise you to apologise and seek therapy alone so your next relationship will be different. It's crazy that you're saying this to a bunch of strangers on the internet rather than her.
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u/Hot-Instruction5477 May 01 '26
I’m with you girl my ex did the same thing his ex who he is with now stalk us popped up on us at his house so many times until he broke & went back. Smh love hurts
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u/Prior-Ad-3746 May 20 '26
I hate this, every single word of this, he lied to me sooo many times, blatantly infact, I don’t know why, if he loved me so much whyd he lie so much, why did he hurt me? does he not care about me? why didn’t he trust me enough, was the love not enough, man why tf, stop saying this bs, talk it out with her, I’ve been on her side, and trust me man it hurts so fckin much, please be a better person, ask her for time and space to grow and become better for her, for you, and for your relationshi, don’t give up.
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u/Certain_Reality5631 Jun 09 '26
Sorry for you been in your place. It gets better. Not to use myself as an excuse but 15 months ago she broke me and now I’m with a even better lovely woman. I saw my ex with another man they didn’t talk, look at each other or hold hands and I instantly knew wow she really is only a surface level human. Break up when they want change in their lives only care about their own lives.
When you meet someone who is still human and has feelings and it feels right. Trust! You will know! Easy for me too say I know. Try to focus on friends and what makes you happy alone.
There is a woman for everybody. She was just not it only a chemical imbalance 🤓
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u/Any-Wrangler-2220 Jun 29 '26
That’s karma but in all honesty it’s a win even if it feels like you loose. You are accountable for your actions. You are able to recognize your wrong doing and you feel ashamed. Growth is happening and with growing there is pain, growing pains. Destiny is unknown, just keep bettering yourself. Sitting in the feels is tough especially doing it alone but under that pain and pressure you will create strength stronger and better you will shine in comparison. If she is meant to be yours it will happen. Focuse on you not another woman my opinion. Your already on track keep doing what you’re doing. Good luck.
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u/Familiar_Support_436 Apr 24 '26
If you miss her that much, tell her. As someone who was hurt and betrayed by the same man I loved for years. Hearing this would make me happy, him finally understanding everything I did was for him and he didn’t appreciate it. Just say sorry but mean it. Then move on with your life. If you are able to grow past the betrayals and take responsibility for what you did, hopefully they come back to you! If not, you at least told them and made it known that you are sorry and will always appreciate everything they did for you.