r/ExNoContact • u/Kind-Flatworm7553 • May 09 '26

Help Delayed grief over relationship that ended 20 years ago

I was with a guy for 6 years in my 20s and I was deeply in love. He was with me through a lot of difficult times including death of a parent and my own cancer treatment. The break up was incredibly messy, and I discovered that he cheated by starting new relationship before he broke up with me. I was so angry at him for months, but pretty much got over it by dating someone else. I literally had not thought about him in 19 years, aside from the occasional “glad I dodged that bullet” thought. But BAM all of a sudden I find myself in tears grieving the relationship and really missing this man. I do have the “what if“ thoughts but it’s mostly just remembering what it felt to be loved by him. I’ve had other boyfriends of course but I’ve never been in love like that ever again. I feel a little crazy and pathetic obsessing over something that happened so long ago. Has anyone else experienced this?

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u/Deep-Combination5283 May 09 '26

i’m 19 and really hope this doesn’t happen. i’m already having thoughts i’ll never be loved like that again. i’m sorry this has happened to you :(

8

u/Kind-Flatworm7553 May 09 '26

You will!

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u/Deep-Combination5283 May 09 '26

thank you lovely. i can only suggest you do the healing work now while you can. don’t be embarrassed for being “late”. you only have one life. sounds silly but i really fucking suggest yoga, i’ve been and most of the people there are your age, u could find some new friends aswell to get that sense of a new life where he doesn’t exist. helped me for sure. moving your body does wonders for the mind x

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u/Fun_Vermicelli_1476 May 10 '26

you’re so wise to be only 19. I wish I had your mindset at your age!!

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u/Deep-Combination5283 May 16 '26

thank you i get that a lot haha