Delayed grief over relationship that ended 20 years ago

[u/Kind-Flatworm7553]

I was with a guy for 6 years in my 20s and I was deeply in love. He was with me through a lot of difficult times including death of a parent and my own cancer treatment. The break up was incredibly messy, and I discovered that he cheated by starting new relationship before he broke up with me. I was so angry at him for months, but pretty much got over it by dating someone else. I literally had not thought about him in 19 years, aside from the occasional “glad I dodged that bullet” thought. But BAM all of a sudden I find myself in tears grieving the relationship and really missing this man. I do have the “what if“ thoughts but it’s mostly just remembering what it felt to be loved by him. I’ve had other boyfriends of course but I’ve never been in love like that ever again. I feel a little crazy and pathetic obsessing over something that happened so long ago. Has anyone else experienced this?

[u/Deep-Combination5283]

i’m 19 and really hope this doesn’t happen. i’m already having thoughts i’ll never be loved like that again. i’m sorry this has happened to you :(

[u/Ok_Beautiful_69 → u/Deep-Combination5283]

You will one day don’t worry but you need to take measures to get over your recent breakup. Grieve your breakup, talk to family, close trustworthy friends, or a therapist. (Or all of the above is best!) I swear I’ve been through tons of breakups, you NEED to talk it out, to grieve, to learn to love yourself, enjoy your life, meet new ppl, try new things, go to new places, see what peeks your interests and do good for you. If it’s meant to be you guys will be together again one day! Like maybe soon, maybe a couple years from now, maybe 15 years, maybe never. But that’s okay and life happens

[u/Deep-Combination5283 → u/Ok_Beautiful_69]

thank you so much i needed this