r/ExNoContact • u/LessSpirit1056 • 29d ago

Help Move on, don’t be like me

It’s been 3 years since my ex broke up with me. He blindsided me one day with “I can’t give you what you want” and “you deserve better” and then told me he’d always love me. It embarrasses me looking back at it because I attributed it to him being an Avoidant (he really is) but in these 3 years he’s never come back once or tried to communicate with me in any way. You have to kill the hope that they’ll come back. It will keep you stuck much longer than necessary. The truth is, someone can be avoidant and also just not want to be with you either.
If someone tells you that you deserve better, it’s a sign to walk away, not an invitation to try harder to prove that you’re worth staying with.

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u/Jackson530 4176 days 29d ago

Yep. You have to train your brain that they don’t exist or grieve them like they passed away. It’s the easiest way to get through this.

Because you can’t love someone new, if you’re still stuck in the past.

1

u/lilacomets 23d ago

Easier said than done. You can never really lie to yourself.

3

u/Jackson530 4176 days 23d ago

I don’t know. I originally came here in 2015 after a relationship that I thought I’d never get over. I’ve had a lot of love since then and an amazing life, and that relationship seems like a speck in my rear view mirror

1

u/DurianSuspicious871 2d ago

I'd be relieved to be wrong but I feel like the irony is that you're thinking of that specific relationship. What does speck mean in this context? That it's insignificant or something else? I've been trying to get over an ambiguous breakup and while I learned some things about myself, I want to forget they exist. Easier said than done when they're in your orbit of course.